Little Plink
Active member
Hey UU.
I've always had problems with my self esteem. At my very first school, EVERYONE was an athlete, and if you weren't, then you weren't accepted. So I grew up thinking that musicians were obsolete to athletes. Additionally, my mom always thought I was kind of a waste of time until she learned I could play, and my entire living family on my dad's side is obsessed with football. From grades one to six I was friendless. I would come home from school every day, do homework, practice violin, then hide from my family and from my life, just plucking a cheap electric guitar with no amp in my basement.
Then I got good.
Hours and hours a day with nothing to do and a small background in music theory is something that can easily get you good at an instrument. I became entangled with the world of music. To this day, I can pick up pretty much any instrument and play it with a fair amount of ease. I used to think that was really cool. The problem with music for me is that when you get to the top of a mountain, you look back down, and you feel as if you've taken a stroll though a cool meadow. This has started to happen to me with the 'ukulele. When I first saw James Hill's version of Billie Jean, I thought it was amazing. But for me to learn a song I have to take it apart and examine it, and once I do, it seems simple, so the wonder is gone from the song.
Now I can play it, but since I know how to play it, it seems like it doesn't matter. It's not just with that song. It's with every song. It's really frustrating when you spend all that time learning something, and then feeling like you have nothing to show for it. I literally have spells of depression because of this! The only reason I haven't considered quitting is because then, I would have nothing again. My new school is very artistically inclined, and I would be rejected just as I was before if I didn't have "talent." (If you can call it that.) Don't even say I wouldn't be rejected because I don't believe in unconditional love just as much as I don't believe in unconditional friendship. My whole life has taught me not to.
Does anyone else have these problems or is it just me?
I've always had problems with my self esteem. At my very first school, EVERYONE was an athlete, and if you weren't, then you weren't accepted. So I grew up thinking that musicians were obsolete to athletes. Additionally, my mom always thought I was kind of a waste of time until she learned I could play, and my entire living family on my dad's side is obsessed with football. From grades one to six I was friendless. I would come home from school every day, do homework, practice violin, then hide from my family and from my life, just plucking a cheap electric guitar with no amp in my basement.
Then I got good.
Hours and hours a day with nothing to do and a small background in music theory is something that can easily get you good at an instrument. I became entangled with the world of music. To this day, I can pick up pretty much any instrument and play it with a fair amount of ease. I used to think that was really cool. The problem with music for me is that when you get to the top of a mountain, you look back down, and you feel as if you've taken a stroll though a cool meadow. This has started to happen to me with the 'ukulele. When I first saw James Hill's version of Billie Jean, I thought it was amazing. But for me to learn a song I have to take it apart and examine it, and once I do, it seems simple, so the wonder is gone from the song.
Now I can play it, but since I know how to play it, it seems like it doesn't matter. It's not just with that song. It's with every song. It's really frustrating when you spend all that time learning something, and then feeling like you have nothing to show for it. I literally have spells of depression because of this! The only reason I haven't considered quitting is because then, I would have nothing again. My new school is very artistically inclined, and I would be rejected just as I was before if I didn't have "talent." (If you can call it that.) Don't even say I wouldn't be rejected because I don't believe in unconditional love just as much as I don't believe in unconditional friendship. My whole life has taught me not to.
Does anyone else have these problems or is it just me?