This is what I need!

BigJackBrass

Charlatan, Humbug & Imitation Humorist
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If you feel that your ukulele performances need a little something extra, then I'm here to tell you that the answer to your prayers was on the market way back in 1951!

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"Sounds almost like an army band", that's the deal clincher right there.

(no offense to army bands out there, just an underwhelming USP)
 
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If you feel that your ukulele performances need a little something extra, then I'm here to tell you that the answer to your prayers was on the market way back in 1951!

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Good times. Back in the day when a little kid could put thirty five cents in an envelope and receive back a do-dad that made you the hero on your block for a day or two.
 
And, it was probably made in the USA!
 
"Sounds almost like an army band", that's the deal clincher right there.

(no offense to army bands out there, just an underwhelming USP)
Well, that should have the enemy running away, at least. ;) I suspect it was as disappointing as the Sea Monkeys and X-Ray Specs.
 
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Another old ad pinched from "A Most Amusing Bot" on Mastodon:

NoveltyBot@botsin.space-112165658371198102.png

"Humanatone only 10¢ from Scientific Novelty Company (1929)"
 
Ah! The humble nose flute. You can still get them, except they're made of plastic now. I'd be curious enough to want to try one, even though my nose currently feels like it's gone at least four rounds in a boxing match.
 

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Will Grove-White has a number of videos on YouTube demonstrating his nose flute prowess:

 
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