Teek
Well-known member
I read all of the above and I have watched a number of episodes of hoarding shows. pretty much all of those people have been psychologically damaged for life by abusive parental upbringing. Every item on the hoarding scale correlates with abusive dysfunctional upbringing; perfectionistic, unpleasable, shaming & blaming parents. There is usually substance abuse somewhere in the generational background. It can cause all of thses behaviors and more:
Parental Criticism
.27*
Doubting of Actions
.35*
Parental Expectations
.28*
Personal Standards
.24*
Concern Over Mistakes
So yes, finding something that most of us equate with joy is a way of self medicating; more joy making devices = more joy. If we add in appreciation of the artistic qualities of instruments then there is satisfaction of acquiring functional art (raises hand) that is aesthetically pleasing in addition to bringing joy through playing. There is also a satisfaction in goal setting and achieving those goals. I for example come from a family where one entire side is or were musicians, and my grandfather was a famous bandleader. But they were all such narcissistic dysfuntional abusers/abused that no one ever thought of asking me if I wanted to play an instrument or offered lessons. I was tossed aside by my family and was salvaged by another grandparent, that one person asked "Would you like to play piano?" because she did and could teach me, and I tried but I was only 12 and couldn't really get into it.
I did want to play guitar but there was no money, and I finally got one at around 17 that I bought from a neighbor, but there was nothing available to me to learn but a chord book and trying to teach myself musical notation. There were no tab books. Plus it was a steel string and hurt to play. I didn't try again until my mid to late 20s when I was given a small body student classical guitar and I sat and watched Frederic Noad every Saturday morning on PBS.
Now I am making up for lost time!
However I have also bought AND SOLD a few dozen ukes and have found the ones that fit the best so am moving a lot more out. I think that is also part of the impulse to buy, thinking that this one will sound better or that one will make me a better player. My only other hobbies are riding my 13 year old mountain bike or my motorcycle, and messing around with art. I used to have a lot more interests, I had horses for 30 years, I roasted my own coffee, I was a computer nerd, I sold antiques, I collected native Americana and other tribal art, I was a sculptor and painter; now I am just too tired. Also less is more.
Parental Criticism
.27*
Doubting of Actions
.35*
Parental Expectations
.28*
Personal Standards
.24*
Concern Over Mistakes
So yes, finding something that most of us equate with joy is a way of self medicating; more joy making devices = more joy. If we add in appreciation of the artistic qualities of instruments then there is satisfaction of acquiring functional art (raises hand) that is aesthetically pleasing in addition to bringing joy through playing. There is also a satisfaction in goal setting and achieving those goals. I for example come from a family where one entire side is or were musicians, and my grandfather was a famous bandleader. But they were all such narcissistic dysfuntional abusers/abused that no one ever thought of asking me if I wanted to play an instrument or offered lessons. I was tossed aside by my family and was salvaged by another grandparent, that one person asked "Would you like to play piano?" because she did and could teach me, and I tried but I was only 12 and couldn't really get into it.
I did want to play guitar but there was no money, and I finally got one at around 17 that I bought from a neighbor, but there was nothing available to me to learn but a chord book and trying to teach myself musical notation. There were no tab books. Plus it was a steel string and hurt to play. I didn't try again until my mid to late 20s when I was given a small body student classical guitar and I sat and watched Frederic Noad every Saturday morning on PBS.
Now I am making up for lost time!
However I have also bought AND SOLD a few dozen ukes and have found the ones that fit the best so am moving a lot more out. I think that is also part of the impulse to buy, thinking that this one will sound better or that one will make me a better player. My only other hobbies are riding my 13 year old mountain bike or my motorcycle, and messing around with art. I used to have a lot more interests, I had horses for 30 years, I roasted my own coffee, I was a computer nerd, I sold antiques, I collected native Americana and other tribal art, I was a sculptor and painter; now I am just too tired. Also less is more.
Last edited:
ld: I rather spend my non-working hours playing Uke and resting than going back to school.
