Nope. It's whatever works.It's going to take awhile. She now has a bird watching over her (garden stake) and some hearts for Valentine's Day on her grave. Makes me feel a little better - like I can still do things for her in a way or still show my love for her. I know that sounds weird, but it helps right now.
We had Nemo cremated. I brought the box home -- do NOT ever pick up cremains in the middle of the day. Always go just before they close. Seriously. Why cause an unnecessary scene involving deep howling sobs around people and their babies when given the box? -- and had a service before we buried him in his favourite spot. But the only way I could do it was to save a few ashes in a special container I got. The finality was just too much for me. The container with the ashes is somewhere in the house now, but it sure was necessary back then.
Whatever helps you.