::Leader Board:: Ahnko Honu Takes The Lead Chapter 22!

Status
Not open for further replies.
I would never contradict my daughter or my son-in-law about their kids. They are the parents, we are the grandparents. I may not agree with everything they do, but I would never say so.

I would only cross that line if I felt the grandkids were in danger in some way....
 
Uprooting kids is never easy. Changing schools and living with grandma has probably really thrown them. Totally understandable that they may be acting up. And they feel the stress that you and your wife are going thru trying to find a house. Grandma challenging your authority can't be helping either.

Grandma challenging me is making me insane. Everyday. Today I timed the walk to get us at bus stop at my pace. She slowed down then as she got there with the problem child the bus was already loading up.
 
I would never contradict my daughter or my son-in-law about their kids. They are the parents, we are the grandparents. I may not agree with everything they do, but I would never say so.

I would only cross that line if I felt the grandkids were in danger in some way....

Yes. I'm not a grandma yet but my folks never interfered with my parenting other than maybe a stern "listen to your mother" when I needed backing up. I shall do the same I suspect.
 
I would never contradict my daughter or my son-in-law about their kids. They are the parents, we are the grandparents. I may not agree with everything they do, but I would never say so.

I would only cross that line if I felt the grandkids were in danger in some way....

The danger she feels is that they will be hungry....hence my nephew who comes and has 2 meals for an adult with 3 hrs.
 
Yes. I'm not a grandma yet but my folks never interfered with my parenting other than maybe a stern "listen to your mother" when I needed backing up. I shall do the same I suspect.

The best is she says oh let them have it. Not helping one bit and my wife says nothing so I look like the asshat.
 
The best is she says oh let them have it. Not helping one bit and my wife says nothing so I look like the asshat.

So lately I haven't been happy with the wife since she won't say anything and goes along with her mom. I feel like it's just me here and they are all against me and my ways to make my kids eat right. And treat me right and not talk back and listen to me.
 
Ok end of venting. Gotta go get some food for dinner. Whole 30 chocolate chili....which disgusts the MIL since there's choc and meat combined.
 
Grandma challenging me is making me insane. Everyday. Today I timed the walk to get us at bus stop at my pace. She slowed down then as she got there with the problem child the bus was already loading up.

It's a crazy stressful thing. Yes, she's doing you a great favor by allowing you a place to stay while you are between homes, but she's gotta understand you are their primary caretaker and your authority can't be challenged.

Has your wife had a sit down chat with her mom? That might help.
 
It's a crazy stressful thing. Yes, she's doing you a great favor by allowing you a place to stay while you are between homes, but she's gotta understand you are their primary caretaker and your authority can't be challenged.

Has your wife had a sit down chat with her mom? That might help.

Nope the kids told me about treats the MIL snuck them so I told wife and she said I guess Summer doesn't get any next time. I said to Summer I will pay her not to take them.
 
I was very active up until about 30.
I also made much better food choices. I think I still eat ok, I just eat too much. Not really sure how it happened but yes I know I did it to myself. No real point to this discussion other than my mom raised me well and I had all the tools and knowledge to stay thin and healthy and got fat anyway all on my own.

Wait, I can't blame someone else?!
 
Nope the kids told me about treats the MIL snuck them so I told wife and she said I guess Summer doesn't get any next time. I said to Summer I will pay her not to take them.

Summer even told me that that much sugar shouldn't be eaten ever and she doesn't understand why MIL has so much. She told me that a package of oreos lasts at our house a few weeks....here we had 3 packs in 3 weeks. The kids had few from at least what I know.
 
If they are good. But usually she gives them high sugar snacks 10 minutes before bed then they are up till 9 since they are on sugar high making getting up at 7 am a chore.

Oh! I thought this was a thing where you take the kids to BTSN, not that Grandma is giving them the snacks. Yeah, Grandma needs to toe the line and abide by your wishes for your kids.
 
So lately I haven't been happy with the wife since she won't say anything and goes along with her mom. I feel like it's just me here and they are all against me and my ways to make my kids eat right. And treat me right and not talk back and listen to me.

Your wife absolutely needs to back you up. The two of you are the parenting team, and if her parents are contradicting you then she needs to stand up for you (even if she agrees with her parents, actually). Sort out any parenting stuff between the two of you in private, but together you need to be a united front.
 
So lately I haven't been happy with the wife since she won't say anything and goes along with her mom. I feel like it's just me here and they are all against me and my ways to make my kids eat right. And treat me right and not talk back and listen to me.

Oh dear....yeah, she's used to it, grew up with it. My first MIL used to drive me batty telling me how to mother and raise my kids. She also totally interfered in how I was decorating my first house. She was a control freak and was always correcting me. I remember being at work and her calling me to tell me she had let herself into our just newly bought house to rehang my drapes because I had hung them all wrong. I calmly thanked her, hung up the phone, called my husband and screamed at him to get his mother the .... out of my house.

When I divorced him I told him I wasn't just divorcing him, I was divorcing his mother too.

But my point is, he never understood why I let her bother me. He had grown up with her controlling ways and he just ignored her. I was raised to respect elders; I was 20 years old and thought I had to listen to her.
 
Last edited:
Just found out yesterday that the dad of one of James' friends has a really aggressive type of dementia. He's not even 50 yet. It explains his obsession with those claw machines. He was a doctor and seemingly spent all his free time winning stuffed animals from those claw machines. Before he was diagnosed he was starting to make YouTube tutorials on how to win at claw machines and showing videos on FB of his wins for the day. Sometimes he had like 30 stuffed animals in a day. The sudden change in personality and obsession with the claw machine is what got the family to have him looked at.

Pretty sad and scary.
 
Whoa Gary, that's crazy freaky. Dang, scary too. Are there any meds to slow it down?
 
Oh dear....yeah, she's used to it, grew up with it. My first MIL used to drive me batty telling me how to mother and raise my kids. She also totally interfered in how I was decorating my first house. She was a control freak and was always correcting me. I remember being at work and her calling me to tell me she had let herself into our just newly bought house to rehang my drapes because I had hung them all wrong. I calmly thanked her, hung up the phone, called my husband and screamed at him to get his mother the .... out of my house.

When I divorced him I told him I wasn't just divorcing him, I was divorcing his mother too.

But my point is, he never understood why I let her bother me. He had grown up with her controlling ways and he just ignored her. I was raised to respect elders; I was 20 years old and thought I had to listen to her.

My grandmother would come into my house while I was working and clean the house. It was kind of weird. My sister came up with the idea of leaving out gay p*** as a joke (my sister was living in the front unit of our duplex at the time).

We told her it was just a joke but she was SOOOO relieved when Mika and I got married and then had James :)
 
Whoa Gary, that's crazy freaky. Dang, scary too. Are there any meds to slow it down?


A mutual friend told us he's on experimental medication to try to stop it/slow it down. He was the head of pediatrics at Kaiser in Palo Alto. His wife is also a doctor there.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom