2:50am. Awake after a few hours of sleep.
I am totally wiped out. This week was exhausting and discouraging. Paperwork, cleaning my room, packing up most of my school stuff and making 15 or so trips home with the car full of my school stuff. I ache all over from lifting heavy boxes of books and stuff. Living room floor is covered with boxes of school stuff now.
It is very discouraging. I have not heard back for more interviews. There is a cutoff date for transferring. If I don't get something, I will be stuck where I am at for another year. Our performance rating is even lower than last year.
I am also discouraged because I am trying to purge my house and now there's crap everywhere.
And yet, all this week something inside my soul was driving me - compelling me to get my stuff out of there. I cannot explain it. It wasn't a head thing - not a thought process. A drive from within. I tried to listen and follow. My body was so weary but "it" kept pushing me on to do this. And, as I look at all the junk all over my living room in discouragement, there is also a feeling of ? contentment maybe? that all of my stuff is with me and not there.
I still have another carload of stuff to bring home on Monday. I guess I will purge my school stuff this summer and only keep what I need. That way, if I do move, I won't be taking useless stuff with me. If I don't move, I will only take back the bare essentials.
That's a lot of a thought dump this early in the morning but something I needed to get out of my system. Maybe I can go back to sleep now that I have unloaded that.