Performance anxiety—if you have it, how you deal with it?

GinnyT11

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I'm not at all a shy person, but I'm shy about playing in front of others—even people who know me well and who like me. I'm particularly self-conscious playing with people who have a good ear and natural musical ability, because I don't.

Come chat here if you have performance anxiety, and explain what you do to feel better about playing uke with and for others.

Recording about 100 Seasons videos has helped me a lot because the audience is invisible and kind. (I'd still feel shy playing those songs in front of people.)
I played once with my husband for a group, and I needed wine to calm my nerves.

Maybe this is the solution for me...

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Great topic Ginny........you already found the secret......wine:cheers: or beer.

I think repetition helps because the more you do it the easier it becomes, sometimes. I can even get nervous recording, even for myself. I play in an ensemble and I find safety in numbers is true. I am much more nervous soloing but I haven't done it as much so maybe I should take my own advice about "repetition"
 
Even professionals get nervous/anxious before going in front of their audiences - so it's a perfectly normal reaction. :)

I am not qualified to suggest anything - but have heard that if you engage with people in the audience, through eye contact, it is supposed to help.

Another one was to imagine they are naked! :eek:
 
just keep doing it. The more you do it, the less its scary. If you screw up, go out the next night and do it again, until you forget you screwed up.
 
Great idea for a thread Ginny. :)

In 'olden times', when I used to play in various bands every week, knowing the music cold, from memory, back and forth and the key and relative minor key of every song was a HUGE help, and that all only came from countless hours of practice, literally until I could play any song in our set list, with my eyes closed, from any point in the song, not just the start of the song...

Fast forward to 2013, when you Ginny first invited me to the Seasons...

I had never made videos intended for mass consumption and put them on YouTube prior to participating in the SOTU...

As much as I want to be a perfectionist, there simply isn't time in one week for me to accomplish this, so I have learnt to accept a 'less than perfect' video, in order to participate in the camaraderie of the SOTU, which has been it's OWN reward.

A big part of finding this self-acceptance has come from several conversations with Linda Louden, and the main takeaway, is to just get out of your own way, and (using the Nike phrase) "Just Do It" and I find that this lets me submit a recording that is good enough for the SOTU...

I plan to do busking and open mic nights down the road, and I expect that again an insane level of practice and preparation before hand will be very useful, but when the day comes, I will likely still be fully of nervous energy, and will need to re-learn how to channel that anxiety into a better performance, rather than let it hinder me.

Also, when I was working as a mobile DJ for 30+ yrs, most of the time I was the MC, on the mic, and interacting with the crowd (and I had no trouble really hamming it up, I'd put on my best Rick Dees 'radio voice'), and I never had a chance to think about being nervous, since everything was 'in-the-moment', but being prepared, and while the whole 'show' was well scripted and while it was fun, before each gig, I'd get serious for a moment, and look into the mirror and say

"You've got a job to do here, no time for worries, you are helping to create a lasting memory (for a Wedding, Bar/Bat Mitvah, Sweet 16, etc) for these people, so do your best and BE AWESOME!"

Sure, I flubbed here and there, but I just kept going and 99% of the time, nobody knew about the flubs but me because they were too busy having a good time...

Not sure if this helps any, but this was my experience...
 
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I have always had anxiety before performing no matter what I have been performing.

But it disappears as soon as I get busy performing.

When I haven't had the anxiety, I have found my performance to be uninspired and lacking. I almost don't even want to do it.
 
I sort of got railroaded into my first performance. I've told the story before, but there was a mix up in communications about a jam session that I wanted to do at the local coffee shop. I thought this other ukulele player and I were going to sit in the corner and just play a little. He thought that we were doing a gig. He had a mailing list from a previous band that he had been in, and he invited everyone on it to come listen to us. When I got there ten minutes before we were planned to meet, probably thirty people were sitting around, and he had been wondering where the heck I was. That was my first public performance, and I was scared, real scared. Since then I've done a few more. I've come to the realization that it is a lot like jumping into the pool. It's cold the moment you go in, but it doesn't take long for you get accustomed to it and then you are fine. For so many people, myself included before I started doing performances, just the thought of getting up in front of people and performing is too much for them. But I think most would realize that once you get past that initial shock, it is actually fun. But the answer about how I cope with it, I just force myself to dive in. It takes care of itself after that.
 
Yes, good topic.

I have a bit to add. I have never had trouble standing in front of any sized crowd. I did the half-time announcing for the high school marching band, announcer for the talent show ( 3 days, 6 shows ).

Fast forward 40 years, I play alone at home most of the time. Playing mandolin along with records or a local bluegrass show, it's always easy and fluent. But then when I played for a musical evening or a friend who had dropped over, I would make embarrassing, self-conscious mistakes. Jeez...never had that problem before. It didn't represent how I generally played.

I finally hit on an interesting idea: I sat on a bench downtown with a radio station playing in earphones and played along. I'd do my exercises and rote songs and songs with chords. Sure enough, I'd make the same self-conscious mistakes. But after a single day, it went away. I reverted to my easy musician self and the self-conscious mistakes went away. These days any time I have an upcoming performance, I head downtown for a a couple hours of desensitizing and it seems to work.

So, you might want to try this trick and see if it works for you.

My wife used to be humiliated as an opera singer by knocking knees and shaking hands. Hundreds of performances later, she no longer thinks about being nervous. Time in the saddle cured her completely.


There are cures and solutions and once in a while I see a web site where somebody is offering one magic solution or another. So read up, put in a few repetitions and hang in there.

good luck
 
Major performance anxiety, including just recording myself for practice purposes knowing no one else will ever hear it.

I'm working on recording myself, (useful tool, if I can drop the nerves.) I have taped myself and then deleted it without listening, just for practice in playing while being recorded. (I do also listen back at times.)

But, there is no real need for me to play for others, so I'm not worrying about that right now. My dogs can be my most critical audience for now.
 
...I would make embarrassing, self-conscious mistakes. Jeez...never had that problem before. It didn't represent how I generally played.

You are not alone in this, happens to me all the time as well when demonstrating one-on-one, and is at it's worst when someone comes at me with a critical eye of ridicule for the ukulele...makes me SO ANGRY sometimes that I cannot play and will flat-out refuse to play. Spite sometimes wins out over my desire to evangelize the ukulele.


...Time in the saddle cured her completely.

Aye - practice, both alone and in public. :music:
 
I don't have the answer to stopping performance anxiety but there are a couple of things you can do to mitigate it. First is practice, practice, practice until you can play in your sleep. Preparation is half the battle. The other piece of advice which my ukulele teacher gave me is sit with a proper posture, keep your two feet firmly planted on the ground, and mentally focus on your playing, not the audience.
 
The first time I played at the local Uke group, it was a song circle - just took turns playing something, as it went around the table, and your turn came up.
Naturally, I had no lead sheets with me, and my mind went completely blank when it came to be my turn. I had a hard time talking, felt my heart pounding, and my legs shaking.
So I closed my eyes,and sang and played something. I can't remember what.
When I finished, there was a smattering of applause (there was only a smattering of people, so that was pretty good!), and someone asked how long I'd been playing ukulele. So I honestly answered "About a month...".

Dead silence.

And when I said "But I had played guitar for about 40 years before I hurt my left arm, and can't play guitar anymore...) I heard a lot of exhalation of breath, and sighs of relief.

It was another 2-3 months before I could do a solo turn with my eyes open. That was spring 2011.

Now, thanks to my friend Carrie (fitncrafty, when she has an opportunity get on-line,) I have a very accurate t-shirt that says "Will play ukulele for free; Will stop for money."

I help lead classes. I play open mics and farmers markets. I'm offering to do free concerts at a local nursing home. I play in song circles with professional musicians.

I think I'm over the performance anxiety.


-Kurt
 
I have very very bad performance anxiety. I found I had to avoid some common mistakes. Do NOT wear glasses that slip if my nose gets moist. Do not stop and start over if I make a mistake. Do not play someone else's uke that I am unaccustomed to. And, most important, do NOT let other people goad me into performing if I don't feel like it.

The one thing that I did that allowed me to perform without anxiety, is I formed an ensemble. I am fearless when I play with my 3 friends, no matter who's watching.
That me not be easy for some people, though. Learning to play tightly together is a challenge.
 
Great idea for a thread Ginny. :)

Fast forward to 2013, when you Ginny first invited me to the Seasons...

I can't believe this, Booli...three years ago?!

Great ideas, Nickie. Don't play unless you feel like it.

I can do videos for the Seasons because I can easily quit after two mistakes and try again.
It's the public playing that freezes me up. I make major fretting errors or lose my place in the song (even with the song sheet in front of me).
And when I say public, I mean even with only one person watching me and my playing. My mental and physical confusion prevents me from showing how much I like playing the uke and how much I enjoy my uke friends.
If I put down the uke, I can do any kind of spoken presentation.
 
I can't believe this, Booli...three years ago?!...

Yes Ginny, you have been a 'Ray of Light' and gentle mentor by guiding many wandering souls to find the joy of participating in the Seasons here on UU. You definitely have a gift of inspiring others to want to do their best and be their best. For this kindness, again I thank you. :)
 
As a child performer, I had severe stage anxiety. I still wrestle with it, but over the years, many teachers have given me good advice that has helped me channel my anxiety into creative expression.

Here are some of their gems:

1. Effortless Mastery by Kenny Werner. Read it.
2. List all the things that make you anxious. Picture the least receptive audience. Now play ukulele through your anxiety and complete your imaginary public performance.
3. Practice makes habits. When you practice ukulele, practice with motivation and positivity. This can include setting attainable goals, setting deadlines for certain material, tracking progress, etc.
4. Practice in the presence of distractions. I sometimes practice at the playground or in a cafeteria. When I'm preparing for a concert or a recital, I draft a friend to try to distract me with random interruptions while I perform.
5. Invite people who have encouraged you to attend your concerts.
6. Choose to perform pieces that accentuate your strengths as a musician.
7. Remember the audience *chose* to attend your performance; each performance is an opportunity for success, and the audience *wants* you to succeed.
 
This is SUPER helpful, David!
I believe I fear having people observe me making mistakes too much. To set that aside, I must somehow disable that function. In my French-discussion group, a glass of wine serves that purpose, but it's not always the right thing when playing.


(Thank you, Booli, for you very kind remarks above!)
 
I believe I fear having people observe me making mistakes too much. To set that aside, I must somehow disable that function.

You're very welcome, Ginny.

Since you share a similar anxiety to my own, I'll stress #1 (that book was written for people like us) and add "affirm the positive" to #3. Tell yourself what you do well and regularly acknowledge your advances that result from practice.

It might also help to create some performance cue to say to yourself (and muse, composer, work being performed, audience, etc.) before the performance. Make sure the phrase reinforces what TO DO, not what to avoid. I silently mouth "Now let's go on an adventure" before every performance.
 
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I was brought up that nothing I did was good enough, it permeated everything I did, insecure, low self esteem. All through school I couldn't even stand up in front of class and give a book report. In junior high, I took a drama class only because I was nuts over a girl in the class, not even considering that I would have to go on stage in front of an audience. When I did, I froze and had to be fed my opening line. In synagogue I was called up once to sing the closing psalm, and again I froze when I didn't hear anyone sing along.

I got over it when I was 20. I decided I would not go to summer school and just goof around. My best friend was offered a job as an usher for a TV production company at a movie studio in Hollywood, but he couldn't take the job and said I should. On a Thursday I had an interview with the production manager, I was thoroughly anxiety ridden, but got through it and she hired me to start in Friday. I came in early and met the other usher, who happened to be a kid I knew from synagogue, so that was relief.

We got our blazers from the production manager and she lead us out to the gate where a couple hundred people were waiting to get in. For an instant I got hit with extreme anxiety, holy crap, I'm going to have to get in front all those people, but in the next instant I got over it because I made a commitment to do this job. From that moment on I never had a problem getting up in front of people. I realized my sense of obligation was far stronger than my insecurity.
 
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