Increasing playing confidence

Just keep doing it. Remember that most of your audience can't do what you are doing, and the ones that can will have sympathy and understanding because they have been there as well. And yes enjoy it!
 
I like your experience of progressive exposure to playing in front of people. Luckily I'm positive I'll never attempt to sing along, so I don't have to worry about key at least!

I've led uke groups and play in several uke and mixed instrument jams as well as play solo, like open mics. In the beginning I was quite nervous and can get a bit nervous even now, after playing for 5 years or so. It certainly does get better though. For me, it was a matter of successive approximation. I started just playing alone, then where family could hear me, then where they could also see me but where they are not just sitting and staring at me. Then I got comfortable with the idea of them paying a bit more attention. Next I ventured out to local uke groups and just participated as part of the throng...no pressure. Soon, I found that I could lead a song of my choice, something easy to play and singable. Eventually, I was playing harder things, in increasingly more public settings. Step by step, I got to the point where I can fairly comfortably perform solo.
Still, I find that practice is key. Never perform a song in public that you are only marginally proficient on. Start being performing dead-easy songs. Nothing alleviates nerves more than preparation. Pick songs you love, that really suit your voice. I can't stress enough how important it is to be certain that you are in a key that is good for you and remember it won't always be the same. G or A is most often best for me but it can vary from song to song and also depends on range. I've said this before, but I've played with some excellent (far, far superior than me)guitar players that unfortunately perform songs that definitely are not in their key. I can hear them getting all quiet and squeaky. They seem resigned to think that they just have bad voices and this is going to be as good as it gets. Or other folks will start and find that they are struggling, then have to stop, fiddle with a capo and restart. I feel bad for them. Then it's my turn. I am just an average player with a mediocre alto voice and limited range, but it will feel easy and folks will compliment my playing and singing. The others that went before me are without a doubt, better musicians, but they are not better performers. For me, it really comes down to preparation, good song selection and correct key. Also, by the way, try to have fun, otherwise, what's the point.
 
Baby steps are fine. It's even ok if you have to fall back a bit and lick your wounds. You just keep makin music for yourself and put your toes back in the water when you're ready. You will see that it gets easier and easier.
 
There is a very popular local entertainer that I know, and I run across all the time at different venues, and he is not a particularly good singer. But he draws a crowd none the less. And I've asked people what it is about him that they like so much, and I get answers like, his songs are "honest", his songs are "raw", he has heart. I often times think that if he was a good singer, he would just be another good singer. But the one thing this guy has is that he connects, and I think he connects because he is what he is, and he isn't apologetic about it. He is actually and inspiration.
 
Rllink, I think that's very true. You have to find your own groove and you'll be comfortable there and it'll be reflected in your performance. It's like hearing Johnny Cash cover NINs "Hurt" and the end of his career. His voice was more talking than singing but he really conveyed the essence of the song. No one should be afraid to sing. They just need to find their own unique voice and let it out. People don't only want to hear "Bing Crosbies" or "Celine Dions".
 
Rllink, I think that's very true. You have to find your own groove and you'll be comfortable there and it'll be reflected in your performance. It's like hearing Johnny Cash cover NINs "Hurt" and the end of his career. His voice was more talking than singing but he really conveyed the essence of the song. No one should be afraid to sing. They just need to find their own unique voice and let it out. People don't only want to hear "Bing Crosbies" or "Celine Dions".
There are no truer words. I took singing lessons for a while about three summers ago, and the first day my voice coach asked me what my goals were. I told him not to embarrass myself. He said that was easy. So after five lessons, he told me exactly what you said above. He said "You've found your voice, now just go out and celebrate it." But he told me that the woman who had a lesson before me had been taking lessons for three years. I asked him why he was sending me out after five weeks, and it was taking her three years? I thought that she had a beautiful voice. He agreed that she had a beautiful voice, but he said that she was trying to sing like someone else.
 
Last edited:
As a children's entertainer, usually with as many adults than kids watching I'll echo one thing and add another.
Play right through your mistakes - as if it didn't happen and if you see that someone noticed just keep smiling.
This is so right. Nothing is worse than someone who keeps stopping to apologise or pointing out errors (that noone else noticed!).
My addition - have an "out". If you completely screw up, smile and say something humourous and just move on. Dont dwell on it. Start something else. I appreciate this has gone slightly off your original question but hope it adds to other points being raised.
 
As a children's entertainer, usually with as many adults than kids watching I'll echo one thing and add another.
Play right through your mistakes - as if it didn't happen and if you see that someone noticed just keep smiling.
This is so right. Nothing is worse than someone who keeps stopping to apologise or pointing out errors (that noone else noticed!).
My addition - have an "out". If you completely screw up, smile and say something humourous and just move on. Dont dwell on it. Start something else. I appreciate this has gone slightly off your original question but hope it adds to other points being raised.

Oh my, yes - humor is the answer to many mistakes! ;) Yes, it is painful to watch/listen to someone who stops and points out all the errors. I realize that acting like you know what you're doing (even if you don't) is a big part of success. I just need to remember that I am presenting in front of a group of people who either haven't played much at all, or are still beginners at most. I don't consider myself to be that advanced, but I have the most experience and need to own it. I'm just not naturally good at that, so I really have to work at it. I have been practicing presenting/counting out strum patterns and going over what I want to present though, so that helps me. We've only met twice as a group, and a lot of that has been talking and instruction, so I imagine I'll get more comfortable once we all start playing and I get more used to it. Thanks to you and everyone else for sharing your advice and experiences!
 
My wife broke me of the constant apologizing. That is a big thing with her. She would always ask me what I was trying to accomplish by telling everyone that I wasn't very good at everything. So when I started playing the ukulele I started doing it again, and she nipped it in the bud. Frankly, I think it is obnoxious, especially when someone says they aren't very good, then they are. It is insulting actually. As far as making mistakes during a performance, you just got to let it go. If you dwell on it for even a moment, you're lost.
 
There is a very popular local entertainer that I know, and I run across all the time at different venues, and he is not a particularly good singer. But he draws a crowd none the less. And I've asked people what it is about him that they like so much, and I get answers like, his songs are "honest", his songs are "raw", he has heart. I often times think that if he was a good singer, he would just be another good singer. But the one thing this guy has is that he connects, and I think he connects because he is what he is, and he isn't apologetic about it. He is actually and inspiration.

Rllink, I think that's very true. You have to find your own groove and you'll be comfortable there and it'll be reflected in your performance. It's like hearing Johnny Cash cover NINs "Hurt" and the end of his career. His voice was more talking than singing but he really conveyed the essence of the song. No one should be afraid to sing. They just need to find their own unique voice and let it out. People don't only want to hear "Bing Crosbies" or "Celine Dions".

There are no truer words. I took singing lessons for a while about three summers ago, and the first day my voice coach asked me what my goals were. I told him not to embarrass myself. He said that was easy. So after five lessons, he told me exactly what you said above. He said "You've found your voice, now just go out and celebrate it." But he told me that the woman who had a lesson before me had been taking lessons for three years. I asked him why he was sending me out after five weeks, and it was taking her three years? I thought that she had a beautiful voice. He agreed that she had a beautiful voice, but he said that she was trying to sing like someone else.

As a children's entertainer, usually with as many adults than kids watching I'll echo one thing and add another.
Play right through your mistakes - as if it didn't happen and if you see that someone noticed just keep smiling.
This is so right. Nothing is worse than someone who keeps stopping to apologise or pointing out errors (that noone else noticed!).
My addition - have an "out". If you completely screw up, smile and say something humourous and just move on. Dont dwell on it. Start something else. I appreciate this has gone slightly off your original question but hope it adds to other points being raised.

My wife broke me of the constant apologizing. That is a big thing with her. She would always ask me what I was trying to accomplish by telling everyone that I wasn't very good at everything. So when I started playing the ukulele I started doing it again, and she nipped it in the bud. Frankly, I think it is obnoxious, especially when someone says they aren't very good, then they are. It is insulting actually. As far as making mistakes during a performance, you just got to let it go. If you dwell on it for even a moment, you're lost.

Wow! There is so much good information and inspiration in the previous posts that I saw fit to repeat them
Thank you all so much
 
Last edited:
Here's a good example: my acoustic music jam group met this weekend. We go around the circle and each person leads a song. This week, I picked a song that I love dearly, but chose a key that was slightly out of my range. I ended up croaking out the too-low song from beginning to end. I suppose I could have stopped, apologized, and said "I never should have chosen this song in this key, it's obviously too low for me." But I kept it going, had a lot of fun, and so did others. Nobody complained about my singing. Just keep playing and singing until the end (and, learn to test the key before you bring it in front of a group!).
 
Here's a good example: my acoustic music jam group met this weekend. We go around the circle and each person leads a song. This week, I picked a song that I love dearly, but chose a key that was slightly out of my range. I ended up croaking out the too-low song from beginning to end. I suppose I could have stopped, apologized, and said "I never should have chosen this song in this key, it's obviously too low for me." But I kept it going, had a lot of fun, and so did others. Nobody complained about my singing. Just keep playing and singing until the end (and, learn to test the key before you bring it in front of a group!).

You know a weird thing is that sometimes your voice won't cooperate and sing in a key that was previously good for a particular song. Your range can vary with lots of factor throughout the day, but it's a good thing to have a quick run through on any song you are going to present and you can general get in the right ballpark.

I'm not a huge fan of capos on ukes (they can get in the way of making some chord shapes comfortably) but I find them handy for groups who often use a lot of music in C (like "The Daily Ukulele") bot don't have someone who can lead a song in that key. I'm surprised more groups don't suggest that folks bring a capo. We could all throw on a capo and play some great tunes that otherwise we would have to struggle through. They are a must-have for guitar jams, as it's not unusual at all for folks to capo up when a tune feels a little low. In fact, folks will just stop after a bar or two (without much embarrassment or ado) and say "whoa, that's a little low, let's try capo 2" or such. I know of only one uke group (S.Tampa, beg.grouo) that asks that everyone come with a capo.
 
That's an interesting question JeLeh. Stage fright affects just about every performer. I remember the very first time I stood up on a stage. The anxiety before hand was huge. I played in a small rock 'n' roll band many years ago. You might say we were a Ventures tribute band, so to speak. I remember standing on the stage with the band behind the curtain. I thought I was going to have a panic attack. So many things went through my mind, "I hope I don't forget the chords to some of the songs," I hope I don't drop my guitar pick." Things of that nature. Then the curtain opened, and all of a sudden I felt fine. The clapping, yes, we clapped our hands back then. We didn't scream like like people do today. That relaxed me, and not to mention the fact that i couldn't see the audience because of the stage lighting. When it was over it was like, "wow!!" It was like a rush. After the show, we all sat in the dressing room laughing and joking. My dear, you will be fine, and I'm sure by the time you read this you would have already experienced it. Like I said, it affects pretty well all performers, even seasoned pros. Have you heard of Red Skelton? He was a well known comedian/actor many years ago. Before every performance, he would throw up in the dressing room. That's how much it affected him, and he was at it for decades.

Best of luck.
 
I guess there is very little to add here, except that I was invited to play at an Ukulele festival this year and I was wound up so tight that I thought I would explode before hand. I was given a 30 minute set so I planned 22 songs for that time period and practiced them for weeks. I was sweating when I saw how many of my friends actually showed up...and then my dad, the one guy whose opinion I care about the most when I play a song, walked in. One of my students unexpectedly was in the front row (and they now all know what I do when I go home each night)...I was certain I would die.
Then I played the first note and just went with it. How? 670 videos all played for the Seasons of the Ukulele. I have spent five years finding a song in a weeks time, practicing and playing it for strangers, laughing at mistakes and trying with everything I have to drag them in with my delivery...and all that worked live as well.
Play us a few. It will become second nature- I promise.
 
What has helped me both play more confidently and honestly finally start getting a handle on singing and playing was playing with my local uke club. I am by far the most junior member as far as length of time playing (all of 3 months compared to 10-20 years for most) but everyone sings and passes around music. No Judging, just a good time singing with 5 or 6 complete strangers.

Everyone had a story to share about the song they wanted to play (who knew Pete Seger played Can't help falling in love with you at the berlin wall) and no one was anything but supportive. Honestly played for 90 minutes, occasionally struggling with strums and chord changes but had a great time. The next day I discovered that playing and singing at the same time did not seem hard anymore.

Quick shout out to the Electric City Uke club. Thanks for being supportive.
 
There is a part of the fortifications built in the 1500s and 1600s just a few blocks from my home. I go there in the afternoons several times a week to sit on the wall and play while people walk by. I was thinking about this thread yesterday when I went out there. Every single time, I have to force myself to start singing. Yesterday I started the first song off key. I found the key about half way through the song, and then it all went fine for the rest of the time that I was out there. If anyone noticed that first minute and a half of struggling, they certainly didn't show it. But I was thinking that I go out there and play several times a week, and it is still hard to get up the nerve to belt out those first notes. I think it is just human nature.
 
I'm probably weird, but in the moment I get more nervous playing than I do singing. I play guitar in front of about 1000 people every week at church, and I don't think twice about it because there's the rest of the band and singers.

I've also sang a few times on Sundays, but I don't get as nervous as when I have a guitar solo. I have to really try to relax leading up to the solo so I don't tense up and choke. All the practice in the world doesn't help me overcome that. I just take a few deep breathes or close my eyes for a moment...whatever it takes.

Now, I do get way more nervous the hours before I sing...the anticipation. I used to lead worship with 100-200 teenagers...just me and my acoustic. Getting up on stage was more nerve wracking...I hate public speaking, but once I start singing it's more natural or sub-conscious for me.
 
Thanks to everyone for all the tips, tricks, and advice! You’ve gone above and beyond my initial request for help for my group members and me to become more comfortable playing in a group, and given tips for actual performances! There has been a lot of helpful information in all of your posts. I was really surprised at the number of responses!

We’ve had one group meeting since this post, and I did feel a little more comfortable playing then. I think it was mostly because more people in the group have gained a little proficiency and are able to play along now. I also thoroughly practiced everything I was going to present so I felt prepared. We also kept it very light with lots of laughter.

I haven’t recorded myself yet, but intend to do it. I also tried playing within earshot of family members who don’t normally hear me at other times, so I think that’s helping me too. I’ve just been pretty secluded with my playing up until now so it’s taking awhile to get used to people hearing me. I have no intention at this point of ever actually performing, but it’s good to have all of your advice should I decide to pursue that. I’ll have to look into the Seasons sessions and learn more about it, but it does seem like a great way to help with all of this.

After some thought, I came up with some additional practices I’ve found helpful for me personally that come from more of a mindfulness focus. I thought I’d share them too in case they may be helpful to anyone else.
- Visualization - Mentally picture a prior good performance, group experience, or practice session (or anything positive) to give confidence going into the new one.
- Get comfortable - Maintain a relaxed, open posture through the shoulders and torso, with feet flat on the floor to ground yourself to the experience, and remember to breathe.
- Really allow yourself to fully be present in the experience of playing and enjoying your uke. Take a moment to disconnect from whatever was happening immediately before you arrived to the performance/group practice session. Commit to starting with a blank slate emotionally as much as possible.
- Mindfully tune and warm-up - Focus on the vibrations of the notes through the uke and into your body as tune, and then focus on the notes within a few chords strummed slowly.

Thanks again for the help!
 
I have three suggestions.

The first (which is something I just overheard a good friend telling his partner before she went onstage) is to try to channel that nervous energy into excitement. Don't think "ohmuhgawd, I have to do this!" Instead think, "wow, I get to do this! This is special. This is something most people don't get to do in their lives and I do!"
(This one came to my attention a little late in life to really try for myself, but I really like the idea.)

Second, and I know this sounds bad, but,,, drink. I don't suggest or condone alcohol as a crutch, however once in a while, especially when getting the hang of it, a drink or two can really help calm the nerves. I took a ten year hiatus from performing, and when I got back to it, I definitely had a couple whiskeys before stepping onto that stage. Of course don't overdo it, there's a difference between loose and sloppy.

Third, and the biggest one for me personally, be okay with making mistakes. People's biggest hang up with performing is the fear of making mistakes. If you make a mistake, it's okay. Nobody is going to get up and punch you because of it. Just move on to the next. Once you realize mistakes happen and they're nothing to be afraid of, those jitters are a lot less intense.
 
Top Bottom