H
Hippie Dribble
Guest
For the past couple of months I've been feeling a growing sense of shame and self disgust at my appetite for ukuleles and the ridiculous amount of money I have been spending on them. I feel like the guy from the Monty Python film ' The Meaning of Life' who sits down, gorges himself on food and then his guts explode everywhere. Except I see no humour in my own circumstance.
I work as an aged carer...yep...without putting too fine a point on it, wiping peoples' bums and dealing with demented behaviours. in our society, a hugely undervalued and poorly paid job. To give you some perspective, the 19 year olds who operate the cash registers at supermarket check outs across the road get paid more than we do. My beautiful wife stays at home and devotes her time to home schooling our children and doing the lion's share of work on our farm, and gets a small govt. subsidy. We live, theoretically, below the poverty line. I should be buying makalas, lanikais, mahalos right? No. I buy collings, mya moe, kamaka et al.
We have no major debt - mortgage - as we own our property. Nor do we have a credit card, mobile phone. We grow many of our own fruit and veges, nuts, eggs etc. But we have no savings either...My savings account has gone from $7000+ dollars in the last 18 months to zero. Every spare cent in the last 3 years that I've hadhas gone towards buying ukuleles. We have no money to fall back on in the event of something going wrong with a health issue or otherwise. I am an insulin dependent diabetic of 25 years with complications developing so in all likelihood this will become another cost at some point. we also have 2 young children depending on us.
To get to the point. UAS has become a disease to me. I no longer even look forward to receiving the bloody things anymore. I used to joke about my UAS but I have spent much time in the last few months looking in the mirror and hating myself. my greed.my selfishness. my obsession to feed my lust at the expense of my families needs. and the thing is, these premium ukes just sit in their cases...1/2 the time I'm too scared to even play em lest I mark them. What 's the point of that. How stupid. Life is to be enjoyed, not walked through on eggshells. I have now begun the process of selling off many of my ukes...I have had over 30. It is time to begin thinking of people other than myself. I will keep a handful but the rest is just pure selfish greed. Unjustifiable and a cause of guilt and regret. I am also painfully aware of my own mortality and want to do right by my family with the little money we have. Wife and I had a heart to heart last night and we're both concerned about our lack of savings. Reality check. time to change while there is still time to make that change.
2 points. 1. life isn't about investing in stuff. it's about investing time in people. 2. you can't be a pauper and pretend you're a king. I'm selling much of my collection for all these reasons above. As a self confessed ukaholic, ukes are great but there is more to life. so sorry for the rant but I'm unravelling a little at the moment and just needed to write out my thoughts...I'm a pretty withdrawn, depressed and reclusive person and you guys are a lifeline to me more often than you might realise. If you made it this far I don't want sympathy . but I just say thanks for reading. I need to make some big changes in my life. In attitude and in action.
I work as an aged carer...yep...without putting too fine a point on it, wiping peoples' bums and dealing with demented behaviours. in our society, a hugely undervalued and poorly paid job. To give you some perspective, the 19 year olds who operate the cash registers at supermarket check outs across the road get paid more than we do. My beautiful wife stays at home and devotes her time to home schooling our children and doing the lion's share of work on our farm, and gets a small govt. subsidy. We live, theoretically, below the poverty line. I should be buying makalas, lanikais, mahalos right? No. I buy collings, mya moe, kamaka et al.
We have no major debt - mortgage - as we own our property. Nor do we have a credit card, mobile phone. We grow many of our own fruit and veges, nuts, eggs etc. But we have no savings either...My savings account has gone from $7000+ dollars in the last 18 months to zero. Every spare cent in the last 3 years that I've hadhas gone towards buying ukuleles. We have no money to fall back on in the event of something going wrong with a health issue or otherwise. I am an insulin dependent diabetic of 25 years with complications developing so in all likelihood this will become another cost at some point. we also have 2 young children depending on us.
To get to the point. UAS has become a disease to me. I no longer even look forward to receiving the bloody things anymore. I used to joke about my UAS but I have spent much time in the last few months looking in the mirror and hating myself. my greed.my selfishness. my obsession to feed my lust at the expense of my families needs. and the thing is, these premium ukes just sit in their cases...1/2 the time I'm too scared to even play em lest I mark them. What 's the point of that. How stupid. Life is to be enjoyed, not walked through on eggshells. I have now begun the process of selling off many of my ukes...I have had over 30. It is time to begin thinking of people other than myself. I will keep a handful but the rest is just pure selfish greed. Unjustifiable and a cause of guilt and regret. I am also painfully aware of my own mortality and want to do right by my family with the little money we have. Wife and I had a heart to heart last night and we're both concerned about our lack of savings. Reality check. time to change while there is still time to make that change.
2 points. 1. life isn't about investing in stuff. it's about investing time in people. 2. you can't be a pauper and pretend you're a king. I'm selling much of my collection for all these reasons above. As a self confessed ukaholic, ukes are great but there is more to life. so sorry for the rant but I'm unravelling a little at the moment and just needed to write out my thoughts...I'm a pretty withdrawn, depressed and reclusive person and you guys are a lifeline to me more often than you might realise. If you made it this far I don't want sympathy . but I just say thanks for reading. I need to make some big changes in my life. In attitude and in action.