Joke that comes out every St. Paddy's Day

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course," comes the reply.

The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.

The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."

"Of course," replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"

"Dublin," comes the reply.

"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."

"Of course," replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks:"What school did you go to?"

"Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."

"This is unbelievable!" the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.

"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

My family and I had a laugh at this one. Thanks =)

Scotch with two drops of water

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two
Drops of water. As the barman gives her the drink she says,

'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today..'

The barman says, 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink.
In fact, this one is on me..'

As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, 'I would
Like to buy you a drink, too.'

The old woman says, 'Thank you. Barman, I want a Scotch with two
Drops of water.'

'Coming up,' says the barman.

As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, 'I would like to
Buy you one, too.'

The old woman says, 'Thank you. Barman, I want another Scotch with
Two drops of water.'

'Coming right up,' the barman says.

As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Madam, I'm dying of curiosity. Why
The Scotch with only two drops of water?'


The old woman replies, 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how
To hold your liquor.. Holding your water, however, is a whole different issue.'




'OLD' IS WHEN...

Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs
And make love,' and you answer,
'Pick one; I can't do both!'



'OLD' IS WHEN...

Your friends compliment you
On your new alligator shoes
And you're barefoot..



'OLD' IS WHEN...

A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy
And your pacemaker opens the garage door.



'OLD' IS WHEN...

Going braless
Pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.



'OLD' IS WHEN.....

You don't care where your spouse goes,
Just as long as you don't have to go along.



'OLD' IS WHEN...

You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police



'OLD' IS WHEN..


'Getting a little action'
Means you don't need to take any fibre today.



'OLD' IS WHEN...

'Getting lucky' means you find your car
in the car park.

'OLD' IS WHEN...

An 'all nighter' means not getting up
to use the loo.

AND

'OLD' IS WHEN.....

You are not sure these are jokes

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