I tweaked my neck last night. I now feel like Frankenstein. I can look to the right ok but looking left and down is limited and hurts. I slept on a heating pad last night.
And dang it, I know how I did it. And it was just because I lost my focus because my kiddos were working out with me at my home gym and Callie dropped the first, "Well, you are not my REAL mom." bombshell on me.
And, "I want to call Miss Carrie Mommy now!"
She was basically thinking out loud. She is excited her little brother is coming today via C-section.
She just does not know how to rationalize her feelings of wanting to be a big sister with her current family.
So I think she is getting a little "magical thinking" about what it would be like to live with her birthmom and get to have a little brother.
The thing is, she does not realize that means living in a crime ridden trailer park behind the KFC on a busy highway where you are 5 foot from your nearest neighbor and sharing the trailer with 3 other kids, 2 other adults, 2 dogs, and 3 or 4 cats. Now that sounds cynical, but honestly, for her birthmom it is a super situation. But for my baby, I cant give her that reality check, I have to let her continue to think good thoughts because there is no harm in it other than her hurting my feelings every now and then.
But man, hurt my feelings, tears, all that. But I kept on lifting and I probably shouldn't. Lost my focus and tweaked my neck. DOH!
I did try to hide it from her and she saw me, and now she is all conflicted I can tell. She feels bad, but still feels like she is missing something. Poor thing. It isn't easy for her, and always will be hard. But she feels loved by both sides so that is good.
