::Leader Board:: Ahnko Honu Takes The Lead Chapter 18!

Status
Not open for further replies.
There should be baby pictures tonight of "Little Brother"

He is due to be delivered via C-section around 4pm.

I wonder what he will look like. He may be a lot darker than Callie.
I talked to her about it.
Yesterday she was saying, "I bet he will have tan skin like me (she is super white in the winter, in the summer she tans), and he will have blue eyes, and curly hair like me."
Her birthdad said... and I quote, "I make white babies." And this is a darker birthdad I think. So he may look nothing like her. It will be interesting.
 
mailman said:
I have neither a baritone or a banjolele, so I can't help much. I do remember when I thought I just HAD to have a banjolele....until I encountered a few at our uke group. They can be pretty obnoxious in a group setting, IMHO....
Click to expand...

Ahem. I'm right here, dude.
 
mailman said:
For the past five or six years at the Juggle-In, they have had a live video feed from the gym. A guy brings all kinds of fancy video equipment, and spends the whole time videoing the event. There are several cameras mounted on rolling carts. They have very long cables that allow an operator to walk them all around the gym floor, looking for particularly interesting juggling shots to get up close. There is also a camera mounted on a tall boom/crane mechanism, for getting high angle and overhead shots.

As in past years, I'll try to get the URL for the live feed, and post it here. Then anyone who wants to peek into the gym can do that. I can't guarantee that you'll see me, although I'll be there somewhere. The cameras keep moving, and so do I, so it'll be totally random.

I remember one year Susie (and maybe some others) saw me juggling there....
Click to expand...

HERE you go!
 
On the To Do list today...

Play 'ukulele
Eat breakfast/lunch (Late enough now that it's a combined meal, but nothing so genteel as brunch.)
Get mower tuned up and blade sharpened
Mow the lawn
Pack for another brief trip to see my mother
Begin clearing workspace mess for kid's prom-date dinner tomorrow
 
salukulady said:
It's totally different for you Mim. You ARE her mom. Carrie is not. She is not involved in the raising of you daughter at all. She is an acquaintance to your daughter, that is all. A step parent IS involved in the child's life.

I hate the word step parent. It's got such negative connotations attached to it. But a good step parent is involved with the child. A good step parent is supportive of all the decisions a parent and their ex have to make regarding the child. A step parent can add so much to a child's life.

Wendy has been terribly lucky to be blessed with two amazing step parents who only added positive things to her life. Her dad and I couldn't have done it alone as well.
Click to expand...

Sorry Sally, I don't agree with you here. Carrie IS the birth mom, can't change that.

As Mim has said, Callie is in a tough spot right now. She knows Mim is her mother, the one that cares for her on a daily basis and loves her with all her heart but it doesn't change the fact that she doesn't understand at her age all that is going on. She sees the woman that gave birth to her now with a new baby. It has to bring up feelings of why did she give me away.

Mim, I am glad that Callie has you and Levi to help her with this. I think it will take time for her normal to even out. Once you have recovered your balance sit down and have a talk with her about her feelings. It might help for her to hear from you that you understand. As hard as it is/was to hear her say what she said I think it is a good thing that she can verbalize her feelings and not keep them inside.
 
RichM said:
It isn't hard, you can get string sets that will suit. But really, the whole point of getting a baritone is to get a different voice. If you're not going to use DGBE, I'm not sure I'd bother.
Click to expand...

The whole point of ukulele is to enjoy yourself...if it makes you happy, then it's worth bothering.
 
PereBourik said:
aaaaand.........

Caught up.

Ow-ees on the neck Mim. We've been walking around for 18 years with the "you're not my real parents" time bomb. No way for it not to hurt. There's just a lot of extra BS for adopted kids to sort out on the way to growing up. But just yesterday I was surprised with sweatshirts he ordered for his brother, himself, and me all matching and all with the family name. He knows where he belongs. (Mom/wife has kept her family name.)
Click to expand...

Great story! I raised two nieces, a nephew and a g'nephew. I can't count how many times I have heard "you are not my mother". The sting never gets easier.
 
salukulady said:
It's totally different for you Mim. You ARE her mom. Carrie is not. She is not involved in the raising of you daughter at all. She is an acquaintance to your daughter, that is all. A step parent IS involved in the child's life.

I hate the word step parent. It's got such negative connotations attached to it. But a good step parent is involved with the child. A good step parent is supportive of all the decisions a parent and their ex have to make regarding the child. A step parent can add so much to a child's life.

Wendy has been terribly lucky to be blessed with two amazing step parents who only added positive things to her life. Her dad and I couldn't have done it alone as well.
Click to expand...

Ben decided he wanted to ask someone to the prom - he went to Sheryl for the advice on how to ask and the details. She was so flattered and delighted - she's been a part of his life since he was 4 and we married when he was 6...but what an affirmation to her for her hard work as a parent in his life.

I sometimes refer him to his step dad for some matters - Mark is a very nice guy and has been a great influence in Ben's life. I am glad that he refers to both Sheryl and Mark by their first names instead of mom and dad...that would be my hang up though and I wouldn't stop him if he'd called Mark Dad.

I've mentioned many times that I have no fondness for Ben's mom, but we have worked hard to be together on his upbringing and he's quite an impressive young man these days...
 
Susie A said:
Sorry Sally, I don't agree with you here. Carrie IS the birth mom, can't change that.

As Mim has said, Callie is in a tough spot right now. She knows Mim is her mother, the one that cares for her on a daily basis and loves her with all her heart but it doesn't change the fact that she doesn't understand at her age all that is going on. She sees the woman that gave birth to her now with a new baby. It has to bring up feelings of why did she give me away.

Mim, I am glad that Callie has you and Levi to help her with this. I think it will take time for her normal to even out. Once you have recovered your balance sit down and have a talk with her about her feelings. It might help for her to hear from you that you understand. As hard as it is/was to hear her say what she said I think it is a good thing that she can verbalize her feelings and not keep them inside.
Click to expand...

Susie is very wise.

Society is constantly bombarding us with the message that blood ties reign supreme, biological kids/parents are best, and adopted/step kids/parents are merely a poor consolation prize. Ouch.
 
SailQwest said:
Susie is very wise.

Society is constantly bombarding us with the message that blood ties reign supreme, biological kids/parents are best, and adopted/step kids/parents are merely a poor consolation prize. Ouch.
Click to expand...

Parenting has nothing to do with genetics. To parent someone is a verb - it's an action that has to be done right in order to raise kids well. Done right doesn't mean perfectly. And it does not require a biological connection of any sort.
 
bbycrts said:
Parenting has nothing to do with genetics. To parent someone is a verb - it's an action that has to be done right in order to raise kids well. Done right doesn't mean perfectly. And it does not require a biological connection of any sort.
Click to expand...

Yes. This.
 
Thanks, Susie!

Anyone interested in watching can just click on the "Watch Now" spot on the link Susie just posted. I know the Juggle-In starts at 6pm tonight, but I'm not sure exactly when the video feed will start....
 
bbycrts said:
Parenting has nothing to do with genetics. To parent someone is a verb - it's an action that has to be done right in order to raise kids well. Done right doesn't mean perfectly. And it does not require a biological connection of any sort.
Click to expand...

Not so fast. We have two children, well young men now really. Son #1 is adopted and has been ours from one day old. Son #2 is a mere 3 1/2 months younger and is our biological child; he has Down Syndrome. #1 has shown traits that are entirely foreign to us, but suggested by our knowledge of his birth mom. #2 is clearly our son, showing both physical and personality characteristics deriving from us.

In the nature vs nurture debate nature has played a clear role in our experience of our children. Nothing I would or could change. We have had to scramble more than once to get to a place where we could understand how son #1 was responding to events and environment.

In my experience, nature, that is birth-partner genetics plays a big role in a child's development.
 
PereBourik said:
Not so fast. We have two children, well young men now really. Son #1 is adopted and has been ours from one day old. Son #2 is a mere 3 1/2 months younger and is our biological child; he has Down Syndrome. #1 has shown traits that are entirely foreign to us, but suggested by our knowledge of his birth mom. #2 is clearly our son, showing both physical and personality characteristics deriving from us.

In the nature vs nurture debate nature has played a clear role in our experience of our children. Nothing I would or could change. We have had to scramble more than once to get to a place where we could understand how son #1 was responding to events and environment.

In my experience, nature, that is birth-partner genetics plays a big role in a child's development.
Click to expand...

Did I say anything about the child or the affect the genetics play on the development and personality of a child? No. I was talking about the job of parenting. A parent doesn't need to be genetically connected to a child to be a parent. Did you do a worse job with the child you adopted than you did with your genetically-related child simply because the adoptee wasn't related to you genetically?
 
bbycrts said:
Parenting has nothing to do with genetics. To parent someone is a verb - it's an action that has to be done right in order to raise kids well. Done right doesn't mean perfectly. And it does not require a biological connection of any sort.
Click to expand...

No amount of good parenting can overcome society's bias that bio kids/parents are "best." Many people go to great lengths, often quite publicly, to have a biological child, rather than "settling."

To expect adopted and/or step-children not to be conflicted over this bias is unrealistic.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

U
::Leader Board:: Ahnko Honu Takes The Lead Chapter 23!
1420 1421 1422
Replies
28K
Views
931K
PereBourik
PereBourik
U
  • Locked
::Leader Board:: Ahnko Honu Takes The Lead Chapter 22!
3027 3028 3029
Replies
61K
Views
2M
UkuleleHill
UkuleleHill
U
  • Locked
::Leader Board:: Ahnko Honu Takes The Lead Chapter 21!
1504 1505 1506
Replies
30K
Views
674K
UkuleleHill
UkuleleHill
U
  • Locked
::Leader Board:: Ahnko Honu Takes The Lead Chapter 20!
1501 1502 1503
Replies
30K
Views
597K
UkuleleHill
UkuleleHill
U
  • Locked
::Leader Board:: Ahnko Honu Takes The Lead Chapter 19!
1510 1511 1512
Replies
30K
Views
850K
UkuleleHill
UkuleleHill
Top Bottom