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Thread: A Seasonista Wrote This...stuff

  1. #21
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    I'm pretty proud of my new one ... I hope you like it

    Wendy -- UkeCan1 of Uke Can Play Too!
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  2. #22
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    Wow! I never dreamed we would have this much participation, let alone such wonderful songwriting talent here. I"m going back to listen to all of these tomorrow.

    Here's a collaboration between 2 Seasonistas, though (there's another done and one more in the works going in the opposite direction.) Freeda wrote these lyrics as a poem and I tried to make a song from them and added one line at the end.


  3. #23
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    Rex - Little Feet
    Man this is really a great tune, no skimping on the melody (which I have a problem with and so I notice when someone transcends the problem this way) and I admire your facility for adding details. I think that last talent is crucial for making a story...ummm... sing. Not to mention, that it's a fine joyful story with a wonderful point.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5PXEFSbcrE

    Quote Originally Posted by Jazzbanjorex View Post
    about all the adventure my wife and I had been on but having a child would be the biggest and best.



    Enjoy.
    Last edited by decaturcomp; 04-09-2014 at 09:18 PM.
    It's the songs, isn't it?

  4. #24
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    Funnily...
    I've signed up to do the very same thing and I can't make myself go and throw songs out to a bunch of (as for now) strangers. Since a bunch of you other Seasonistas are experienced songwriters (I draw encouragement from the wealth of terrific material that Berni writes, for example, hence my thought of calling this Berni's Place or something like that...). I guess I'm just more comfortable here among friends. Thanks to everyone for jumping in to participate.

    In the actual Seasons, I tend to add comments to the YT/G+ area of the video itself rather than clutter the (ever busier) seasons themselves SO I thought this smaller group would be a better place to add comments in the body of the forum. That way we can kick things around as a group easier. Naturally, you kids should do what you like on that score but, I was thinking that this would foster more discussion.

    Also, and finally for the moment, I find it useful to post more than one version of a song as I'm working on it so I may label my works in progress something like New Tune sketch, New tune - take2, New tune -take 3, New Tune - finished (for now) or something like that.

    Quote Originally Posted by UkeCan1 View Post
    FiL and I were just lamenting how many months in a row (all of them ) we have intended to go to our local songwriter circle, and there's always some other great thing we go to instead ... and then we thought maybe we might need to start our own, at a more convenient time. Maybe this is our answer? A Seasonista songwriter circle right here whenever we have a moment for it!

    Alan, I love your song! And "three kinds of sweet tea" is my very favorite line. (Even though I don't really understand it either. Sometimes sound and image matter more than meaning.) Please don't mess with it.

  5. #25
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    Hey Brian,

    This one really knocks me out. I like opening with the harp to set a mood and the break when it returns is even better.

    I think it's hard to take on the protest song genre (if you don't mind me calling it that) without sounding either whiny or furious. The tone here is perfect for my money, though. It sounds like you know that they know that what you're saying is true and that they're just so ****ing greedy that they don't care about the consequences down the line. And, still, you stick to the facts rather than calling them names or sounding like a victim. This way, it seems to me, lots of people might pick this up and sing it the way they did, "The Times They are A' Changin'".

    I was hoping you'd bring a refrain back and the way you did it at the end without fanfare or hitting it on the head too hard worked a treat.

    I was reading an interview with Richard Thompson tonight that mentioned that he'd written lyrics on one record in weird geometric shapes and the like and he said that he hated the idea that folks might read them before they listened to them in the context of the song where they belonged but the record company wanted to print them so he made them difficult to read.

    Likewise, I find that these words marry with the song so well that I can't believe the lyrics are the same when I read them after hearing the song. It seems much longer and more detailed when I hear it and I realize that it's the concentration of packed in ideas in each stanza that you've used that makes the song so powerful to me.

    Great job and I really enjoyed hearing it, thanks.

    This line tripped me up a little for some reason (number of syllables maybe)
    Now shouldn’t worry about the future’s troubles

    I was wondering about
    Without a worry for the future's troubles (?)
    Or, if you wanted to point a finger directly just once here
    You never care about the future's troubles
    or
    don't give a shit about the future's troubles
    although, I don't know if that says what you mean to say or not.

    Also, you added a "the" in when you sang it that wasn't in the lyrics and I liked the addition, for what that's worth.

    Quote Originally Posted by pabrizzer View Post
    New this morning so really just an idea at the moment,
    Dig Another Hole.
    Had to use two harmonicas.


    Dig another hole
    Like a greedy mole
    Bring up what is down
    Inside out the planet’s gown

    Inject and chemically frack
    Make those gas rocks crack
    Till the water burns and bubbles
    Now shouldn’t worry about the future’s troubles

    Scrape away the worthless layers
    Shove aside the nay sayers
    Chop down the last darn tree
    Those freakin’ chemicals need to be freed

    Wring out those oil filled sands
    Modern life has big demands
    Ignore the fossil bones you find
    That’ll never happen to human kind

    Stick a hole in the ocean floor
    Suck it all out right to the core
    Gotta find those mother lodes
    Til the hollow husk implodes
    It's the songs, isn't it?

  6. #26
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    Ah! The relationship of personkind to nature! Terrific stuff. We seem to be foolish, needy and yet awed by the grandeur and power of the Snake. I like the picked refrain, too. It almost sounded like a banjo line from a Foster song. I like that you didn't rush the performance, too. I think this would be diminished by rocketing thorough (see what...?) the story rather than musing from the banks.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheOnlyUkeThatMatters View Post
    I wrote this one for Myrna's 19th Season of the Ukulele---songs about rivers. I grew up in Twin Falls, Idaho, just a couple miles from the Snake River canyon. My hometown's best known as the site of Evel Kneivel's failed attempt to jump a canyon in a "rocket bike".

    It's the songs, isn't it?

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by decaturcomp View Post
    This line tripped me up a little for some reason (number of syllables maybe)
    Now shouldn’t worry about the future’s troubles

    I was wondering about
    Without a worry for the future's troubles (?)
    Or, if you wanted to point a finger directly just once here
    You never care about the future's troubles
    or
    don't give a shit about the future's troubles
    although, I don't know if that says what you mean to say or not.
    Thanks for listening and commenting Alan.
    Berni offered some suggestions in a PM too.
    Mainly to do with the first verse
    He suggested

    Dig another hole
    Like a greedy mole
    Unearth what's underneath
    What future will we bequeath?
    and
    Dig another hole
    Like a greedy mole
    Unearth what's underground,
    Exploit what you have found.

    I kinda liked using inside out as a verb

    And I also liked the picture of the planet wearing an inside out gown like someone whose wits aren't what they once were might do (someone once loved but now uncared for)

    As I said in my intro this really is very new and raw.
    Of your suggestions I like the
    Without a worry for the future's troubles

    I'd probably go for
    Why worry about the future's troubles
    or
    Today shouldn't bother with tomorrow's troubles
    or even more syllables
    The present shouldn't worry about the future's troubles
    Which is what I was trying to say

    I do appreciate that you and Berni have had a listen to the song.

    I often write stuff and never revisit them again.

  8. #28
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    I don't know about Alan, but I just found the gown reference far too obscure. I only understand it now because I just read what you wrote above. Unless one is into writing "modern" poetry (i.e. poetry that you need a Coles notes companion book to be able to begin to understand) then I am in the "If it isn't understood easily, then it shouldn't be in the song" camp.

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  9. #29
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    I don't think every thing in song needs to be easily understood.
    A lot of songs I really like I don't understand at all.
    Under The Milky Way and Unguarded Moment by The Church are two prime examples. I kinda get rifles for eyes but horses for hearts?

    I guess the inside out gown also refers to the fact that they are never as careful putting things back how they were as they are getting the stuff out.
    Someone very hastily dressed to hide their imperfections.

    Like how they "reconstruct" an autopsy cadaver - yes I have been there.

    I am starting to feel like my song is having an autopsy

  10. #30
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    Autopsies are for dead things Brian. I'm sure Alan and I are trying to help your song breathe more easily and take off for the sky, because it deserves to.

    There are some brilliant songs in which the meaning is obscure, (I am the Walrus, anyone?) but the problem here is that the rest of the song is fairly straightforward and flows easily. It's that gown line that just stopped me dead in my tracks and while I was trying to figure it out half the song had gone by without me giving it my full attention. I never did figure it out and only understood it with the "Author's notes" above .

    However, if you had rather we didn't comment on your song(s), I'll shut up.

    Epiphone Les Paul (Red) Concert
    Kala KA FMTE - C (Low G)
    Steel Strung Hora Baritone
    Korala Baritone UKB 36
    Eugene Customised Tanglewood TU5 Baritone (High D)
    Yamaha GL1 Guitarlele
    Baritone Ukulele Banjo
    Oscar Schmidt 8 String Tenor
    Oscar Schmidt 6 String Tenor
    Jack Daniels Tenor - by Peavey
    Mainland Red Cedar Concert
    Korala Soprano Mahogany Electro Acoustic Cutaway
    Tenor Resonator Ukulele HB CLU 34-T
    Alida Electric Tenor
    Harley Benton CLU-Bass

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