A Seasonista Wrote This...stuff

Negative Calories blues.



Negative Calories Blues.


Negative calories - lose weight while you eat!
What a promise divine - what a sugary treat.
Pudding and pies - beans and peas
Buy anything - just eat what you please


Salt and ice-cream - belly fat pork
There is no difference - between butter or Stork.
Now there is a promise - you just can't beat.
Negative calories - lose weight while you eat!


Triple quarter pounder -where does it stop
Eat what you like - if it's got lettuce on top
Blubber and skin - and fast frozen meat
Negative calories - lose weight while you eat!


The more you eat - the more weight you loose
Buy what you want - no need to choose
Mix yoghut and garlic - they'll go down a treat
Negative calories - lose weight while you eat!


Make your body - a fat burning machine!
Drink olive oil - it's exceptionally clean
Dress your salad - with hard skin from your feet
Negative calories - lose weight while you eat!


You don't need to fast - you don't need to pray
Just double your intake of food everyday.
No charts to offend - no weightwatchers to cheat
Negative calories - lose weight while you eat!


Flatten your stomach - get rid of the flab
Eat oysters and whelks - and fine Cromer crab
Just keep on eating - never admit to defeat
Negative calories - lose weight while you eat!


Just be amazed - watch the pounds disappear
For breakfast drink - a six pack of beer
Just don't mix protein - along with your wheat
Negative calories - lose weight while you eat!


Speed eat your food - and make your pulse race.
Use lots of energy - getting food to your face.
Your heart must pound - with a rhythmical beat
Negative calories - lose weight while you eat!"
 
This is specatular, Rob.
I wept, I laughed, I regurgitated...
What a song!

wee_ginga_yin said:
Negative Calories blues.



Negative Calories Blues.


Negative calories - lose weight while you eat!
What a promise divine - what a sugary treat.
Pudding and pies - beans and peas
Buy anything - just eat what you please


Salt and ice-cream - belly fat pork
There is no difference - between butter or Stork.
Now there is a promise - you just can't beat.
Negative calories - lose weight while you eat!


Triple quarter pounder -where does it stop
Eat what you like - if it's got lettuce on top
Blubber and skin - and fast frozen meat
Negative calories - lose weight while you eat!


The more you eat - the more weight you loose
Buy what you want - no need to choose
Mix yoghut and garlic - they'll go down a treat
Negative calories - lose weight while you eat!


Make your body - a fat burning machine!
Drink olive oil - it's exceptionally clean
Dress your salad - with hard skin from your feet
Negative calories - lose weight while you eat!


You don't need to fast - you don't need to pray
Just double your intake of food everyday.
No charts to offend - no weightwatchers to cheat
Negative calories - lose weight while you eat!


Flatten your stomach - get rid of the flab
Eat oysters and whelks - and fine Cromer crab
Just keep on eating - never admit to defeat
Negative calories - lose weight while you eat!


Just be amazed - watch the pounds disappear
For breakfast drink - a six pack of beer
Just don't mix protein - along with your wheat
Negative calories - lose weight while you eat!


Speed eat your food - and make your pulse race.
Use lots of energy - getting food to your face.
Your heart must pound - with a rhythmical beat
Negative calories - lose weight while you eat!"
Click to expand...
 
I've been writing stuff for quite a few years but never finish anything, probably because i'm highly critical of myself and am never happy with what I do ......that even extends to covers on the Seasons!!

Even if I could play like Jake Shimabukuro I wouldn't be happy because I'd want to play like James Hill and vice versa !! Lol

Bring back my childhood where I could mime and swivel my hips to an Elvis record in front of the mirror with a broomstick as a mic in the privacy of my bedroom when no one else was in the house, then turn off the record after and walk away happy and content !! Lol
 
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M&M Blues

A song based on a true story of a prisoner who was at the Johnny cash concert in Folsom prison.
Cash thew him his harmonica which he later traded for a bag of M&M's and regretted it for the rest of his life.

 
Pay me my money down

Looking around for more songs for the Money week I came across this old song
where I put new words to the old melody... It has got too much going on in it to
fit in as a bonus so I will put it in here. (Two chord song C & G sing-a-long)

 
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Helldorado

A tale of apathy in an old West town. Wrote this for guitar several years ago after doing some reading about Tombstone, Arizona, once known as Helldorado. On the ukulele I decided for a minimalist approach, which I generally prefer anyway. This is pretty typical of my songwriting.....short and simple with as few wasted words as possible.......every one is important!

Have no idea why the camera flipped me into a righty!

 
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Walking around an ag fair on a beautiful day with a ukulele strapped to the front of you is just asking for trouble. Here's what happened when I did that last weekend:

 
Look, I'm still really new to the seasons, but a twitter exchange this evening reminded me of this song I wrote and recorded a year or two ago as well as the crude video I tried to slap on top of it. And as I try to get around to shooting my entry for this week's season, I thought maybe I would presumptuously share the song here...

 
ThatNeilGuy said:
Look, I'm still really new to the seasons, but a twitter exchange this evening reminded me of this song I wrote and recorded a year or two ago as well as the crude video I tried to slap on top of it. And as I try to get around to shooting my entry for this week's season, I thought maybe I would presumptuously share the song here...

Click to expand...


That's AWEsome, Neil! Love the storm trooper and accompanying Star Wars paraphernalia. The song is brilliant, the whole video is hilarious. Is that you on the tuba?
[Of course, can I just say, just for balance ... now I totally get why the Empire lost. :)]

Quite by accident, the song I posted right before you in this thread also mentions donuts. It's about tea. Sort of. A kind of tea that is good for you, though not directly.
The donut line is my favorite part.
 
Brit Ekland's Bottom Double

The 1st of May is also Wicker man day. The movie The wicker man stared Brit Ekland and in the movie she used a bottom double.
This song is based on a poem by the Finnish poet Kalle Niinikangas.
 
(A radio with guts) aka 97X Bam
More on the theme of bottoms.
I do believe that husbands are extremely jealous of their wife's sunbathed bottoms,
and if somebody throws a radio out the window just so he has an excuse to observe
a woman's anatomy then it is bound to generate conflict. We all need justification for
our indiscretions. For Bukowski he blamed most things on his radio. :)

 
I wrote a song to honor my musician friends who have passed away. I finished it just a couple hours before I sang it onstage at the 40th Alaska Folk Festival held in Juneau this past April.
 
The world is a precious place and very mysterious when viewed from heaven.
Imagine Fluttering wings, Tibetian singing bowls, crunching footsteps in snow,
shimmering aurora borealis... and verses that are never sung from and old hymn,
with a melody using the Akuankkakierto
You are not ready for this... honestly.
 
Bam-booze-led

This week I joined another weekly music theme challenge, here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/gyaws. GYAWS. It stands for Get Your A-- Writing Songs. The idea is to write a new song every week ... or, at least twice a month to stay in the group.

This week, 3.08, the prompt was "bamboozle". Someone else suggested the prompter should have stopped at "boozle" ... and that got me thinking, "Booze'll bamboozle".

And that led to this:



It's not my usual happy positive kind of song. It's darker ... and led me to all sorts of fun wordplay, with words I would normally not use ... in a song, a conversation ... anywhere.

It also led to some fun jangly chords and chord progressions, and, since I just discovered the "effects" button on my webcam ... some bamboozly weirdness in the video too.

(Those funky things FiL did last week in his sci-fi song videos ... Max Headroom, giant head ... turns out I can do those same exact things. Who knew?!)

I think maybe it needs a bridge. I had some other rhyme-y ideas listed for that, but they seemed to belong to a different song. And the deadline was Saturday, and it's already 4 days late..... Your thoughts are welcome.


[Yeah, Janet ... I'm making puppets. My parody song is ready as soon as they are ready to play my ukulele. Patience, Season 118 ... we're coming....]
 
[Yeah, Janet ... I'm making puppets. My parody song is ready as soon as they are ready to play my ukulele. Patience, Season 118 ... we're coming....][/QUOTE]

Actually that didn't even cross my mind Wendy :) I just wanted to see what you had written! NOW GET BACK TO THOSE PUPPETS!
 
Hello (one word song)

Sigur Rós released a CD ( ) where all of the lyrics on are sung in Vonlenska, a constructed language of nonsense syllables which resembles the phonology of the Icelandic language. (A bit like Glossolalia or speaking in tongues.) It has also been said that the listener is supposed to interpret their own meanings of the lyrics which can then be written in the blank pages in the album booklet.


If you have never heard Sigur Rós before then have a listen to Glósóli
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwQmDvuORY0


or the delightful Svefn-g-englar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ5Grncdjlc


In 2006 they made a DVD called Heima (At Home) You can watch it on Youtube.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNofqsFTW08


And be sure to watch them in full screen

Here is my attempt at Vonlenska.

 
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