Steveperrywriter
Well-known member
I’ve been dropping round here for a little over a year-and-a-half, and I’ve come across a number of rules for the care and feeding of ukuleles. Some of them seem contradictory, but, what-the-heck, I thought I’d throw them out. (And feel free to add those I’ve missed …)
!. Anything other than a soprano ukulele is blasphemy.
2. Any wood other than koa is a mortal sin.
3. Any pronounciation other than “oo-koo-lay-lay” is an abomination.
4. Any pronounciation other than “you-kuh-lay-lee” is vile and dispicable snobbery.
5. If you use a low-G string on your already-blasphemous tenor, you are less than pond scum; you are a guitarist.
6. Any ukulele made anywhere but Hawaii is beneath contempt.
7. Any ukulele that costs more than $500 is obnoxiously excessive bling.
8. Any ukulele that costs less than $500 is naught but crappy firewood.
9. Strumming is the only path to salvation.
10. Strumming is for children.
11. Tiny Tim.
12. Glue.
13. Wood is the most important factor in tone.
14. Strings are the most important things in tone.
14. Construction is the most important thing in tone.
15. Players are the most important things in tone.
16. All ukuleles sound the same with the same brand of strings.
17. No two ukuleles sound the same with any brand of strings.
18. YouTube
19. Jake
20. All Luthiers doing custom work are filthy rich.
21. Amps.
22. Straps are the devil’s invention.
23. Straps are God’s blessing.
24. Friction tuners are the only proper ones.
25. Friction tuners are for dinosaurs.
!. Anything other than a soprano ukulele is blasphemy.
2. Any wood other than koa is a mortal sin.
3. Any pronounciation other than “oo-koo-lay-lay” is an abomination.
4. Any pronounciation other than “you-kuh-lay-lee” is vile and dispicable snobbery.
5. If you use a low-G string on your already-blasphemous tenor, you are less than pond scum; you are a guitarist.
6. Any ukulele made anywhere but Hawaii is beneath contempt.
7. Any ukulele that costs more than $500 is obnoxiously excessive bling.
8. Any ukulele that costs less than $500 is naught but crappy firewood.
9. Strumming is the only path to salvation.
10. Strumming is for children.
11. Tiny Tim.
12. Glue.
13. Wood is the most important factor in tone.
14. Strings are the most important things in tone.
14. Construction is the most important thing in tone.
15. Players are the most important things in tone.
16. All ukuleles sound the same with the same brand of strings.
17. No two ukuleles sound the same with any brand of strings.
18. YouTube
19. Jake
20. All Luthiers doing custom work are filthy rich.
21. Amps.
22. Straps are the devil’s invention.
23. Straps are God’s blessing.
24. Friction tuners are the only proper ones.
25. Friction tuners are for dinosaurs.