View Full Version : Spoken Word Corner

12-23-2014, 08:08 AM
Good recitation, IanNoMan, I really enjoyed it. Good poetry is always welcome. I hope you do some more. :old:


This thread is for folks who believe in the power of the original other instrument. Poetry, Stories, Recitations in video or written form are equally welcome. As regards jokes please post them in the "Today's Chuckle" thread


Riddles, Conundrums etc are acceptable too. When you know who created a piece please credit them both in your post and when performing them.

You are free to use any of my original material without obligation. I would like you to give credit where credit is do. If you make a gazillion dollars from my pieces please remember I like Rye Whiskey. Two Fingers worth will do.:shaka:

01-01-2015, 04:54 PM
I had always viewed ukulele as an interesting curiosity. As a GEFFM (Good Enough For Folk Music), musician, I have a couple. Last Summer at the Philadelphia Folk Festival I was wandering around in the Craft-Show area and visited the Martin Booth. I grew up about three miles from Nazareth, (you could hear the stock car races at night).

I have friends and associations with Martin workers. It goes a little further than that. My Dad Rebuilt the Martin Plant and My brother john married Judy Remalley. Judie's Dad Earl and his father had both worked their way up to shop foreman a Martin. - When I Showed Judy my IZ Tenor on Christmas Eve, she said; "I have one of those". She doesn't play.:rolleyes:

Anyway, I was at the Martin Booth and it was full of ukuleles. They were hanging from the rafters! I Chatted with the guys and gals a while and told them to sell me a Ukelele. (I always had wanted a Martin but don't play guitar). I said I was interested in a tenor size and it had to have been made in Nazareth. - They couldn't do it! LOL. They didn't have any tenors in the booth. That wasn't the problem though. They didn't know how to sell me a uke! LOL. It wasn't like they had to sell me on the idea of buying a uke, I was already interested. ROTFL. They said "they had an expert who was on break, if I could hang a while they'd introduce me". I was intensely amused by this time.


"Here He comes now". It was Fred Oster of Vintage Instruments, Fred is indeed an expert. I shook Fred's hand and asked him what he had been up to. I told him to sell me a ukulele. Gave him my requirements. He sold me a uke. He started talking about an IZ Tenor. I thought he meant it was designed in Israel or something.:rolleyes:

I made arrangements to pick it up a couple weeks later. Vintage Instruments had moved. They were now located in a mansion at Broad and Lombard in Philly. As I said Fred is an Expert. He bought the place selling fine instruments.

I walked in. Fred showed me the uke. Checked the tuning, It was in tune. Gave it to me to try. I said it wasn't necessary I wanted to learn ukulele, but couldn't play. And I do trust Fred. We walked upstairs to the cash register. They told me the price $1200. We haggled a little, for forms sake, peanuts. Later I found out they list for $2000!

I bought the Ukelele and walked across Broad Street Singing "Oh Dem Golden Slippers" - Actually today is New Years Day and a lot of people are singing that song on Broad St. It is the Annual "Mummers and Shooters New Years Day Parade".

return to elegant linking (http://forum.ukuleleunderground.com/showthread.php?103466-Dim-chord-construction&p=1629783#post1629783)

01-07-2015, 10:14 PM

Some interest has been shown in the name "Wallace" for the lion which ate Albert. "Wallace" was the name of the first African lion to be bred in Britain, living from 1812 until 1838, and his name became a popular one for lions.

01-08-2015, 11:25 AM
This is "Bill Bailey", He's a Christmas present from Mom 2014.


The "Bill Bailey" Story

Not long after I became became acquainted with "Izzy" my Martin Mahogany Tenor Ukulele that old devil UAS got a hold on me. Of course I rationalized the whole thing. I said I would try a tenor, a concert ukulele, and a soprano. Different scale lengths you see. Maybe by playing the three sizes in sequence I could climb the learning curve faster, let Muscle Memory help out. Find out what size was right for me. Not! OK, hmmn...Ahh. I know I would try three different Tone Woods. Yeah that's it! I selected mahogany, red cedar, and Koa. I had heard a lot about Koa wood from Hawaii in the forums at Ukulele Underground. It was a plan!

I figured the Mainland Soprano Red Cedar uke, solid top, would be a good choice. I looked it up. Modest price, made in USA, there is a combination you don't often see. N/C sealed "gold" tuners, 17:1 ratio - I liked that. I am a banjo player and reliable tuners are a godsend. Izzy had come with what I thought were carved fiddle peg tuners. Wrong! They were 4:1 Planetary Pegheds, (Yay! I like planetary tuners. None better). The kicker was you could get Amber buttons for the tuners too. Red cedar, gold tuners amber buttons, I knew that would work. Done! Not only was it a plan it was a solid plan!

Now there was a little problem none the less... I needed to talk this over with my wife Susan. You never bring a new member of the family into the home without discussing it with your spouse. Susan was away on a business trip so I had to wait awhile before I could talk to her about. I had asked her what song I could learn for her when I got Izzy. She had indicated "If You Knew Suzie". Well I know about the "Old Susan", (Before my time; but you find out things over the course of thirty odd years of living together). It is "Susan" BTW, period.

When Susan got back from North Carolina, I introduced her to "Suzie", my Lanikai laminate Koa concert. I explained my plan. She was cool about it! Even said I should spend more money on myself. Have I introduced you to "Siobhan", my Whyte Laydie No 2 banjo! - (Siobhan means white dove or white girl in Gaelic).

Back to Bill Bailey. Thanksgiving wasn't far away. Mom always asks about a "little list" around this time of year. I was ready. Had all the info written down for a change. I didn't let things go to chance though. Next day, Black Friday, I went to visit Santa Claus. Got in line behind the other folks. Santa was just finishing things up with a terrified two year old. He had an elf summon me to the front of the line! Knock me over with a feather! So I told Santa I'd been good and wanted a ukulele for Christmas. He gave me the old hairy eyeball. - Santa knows me pretty well... I asked him if my nose had grown. He laughed and said "No". Summoned the elf over, told her to write down the particulars.

End of story, Right?... Wrong! a A couple of days later UPS delivered a Uke - "Sweet Georgia Brown" . I checked it out - beautiful, played a little. She sounded good. I put it away. It was a Christmas Present right? A couple of Days later I had cause to open the case to check something out. The Ukulele had Exploded. :eek: The bridge had become unglued. No Christmas present for Tommy! :( The M & M boys Mike and Mike from UR and Mainland took care of me. "Bill Bailey" came home on January 8, 2015. He is a handsome devil, loud and punchy. :) Within two days I graduated from being a beginner to an Intermediate Ukulele Player. :cool: What JOY! end of story.

01-08-2015, 01:28 PM
Actually you should check out Bill Bailey ..UK West country comedian .....I think you'll find him ....up your street ...so to speak ...I would start with "Part Troll " DVD.....Argos is a UK catalogue store ...you just buy, via a laminated catalogue and a Tiiiiiny little pen on a slip of payper.... from an empty counter in a shop with a huge warehouse behind it....the Americans probably invented it ....LOL

a taster..


01-08-2015, 04:20 PM
I should say BB reminds me of a Welshman, who spent some time in Chicago or at least influenced by the Second City lot. (old school they call it in thr Windy City). He obfuscates with a flow of words rather than through real or stereo typed confusion in word meaning. ;) A badger is a badger around the world but hedgepigs ain't porcupines or ground hogs. Similar names but different critters on both sides the pond. Funny, I can see the humor, delivery is part of that, but I see the humor in the allusions even though I haven't a clue about most of them are. One perception i received from the was that Brit travelers, (small t), are different from Amis salesmen. I'm obliged to you Jarvi. you point me in interesting directions from those I know or am aware of. So much variance across the pond. Remember though ya old git when you point your finger at me, three are pointin' back at you.

01-09-2015, 05:28 AM
" A badger is a badger around the world but hedgepigs ain't porcupines or ground hogs. "

What does that actually mean Tommy ..???

Hedgehogs.....neither of the above but Hedgehogs ...or Hotchi Witchi IF you are a Traveller or Gypsy or Rom.....;)

We have Hedghehogs ,we have Badgers and we do not have the other two fellers...

01-15-2015, 12:53 PM
This side of the pond we have porcupines, (nasty sorts, they), and groundhogs, (garden pests mostly). People here,think of hedgehogs as being the same as one of these. The converse is often true, your side of the pond. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Three totally different kinds of critter all together. Humor is like a badger. Its the same around the world. I know whats funny and I know what a badger is.

01-25-2015, 02:15 PM
Special request from ​wee_ginga_yin on Seasons of the Ukulele 154. Seasons of the Ukulele 154 featured a Robert Burns Night celebration. Burns Night is celebrated on the 25 of January every year. It is a National Holiday in Scotland. This is a poem about a supernatural encounter with witches and the devil.

S (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omIV1w1JGTI&list=PLoaM2L2cunLouGkHBjx3944DMZmZnASBQ)OTU 154 Robert Burns Playlist (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omIV1w1JGTI&list=PLoaM2L2cunLouGkHBjx3944DMZmZnASBQ)


01-25-2015, 05:57 PM
Seasons of the Ukulele 154 featured a Robert Burns Night celebration. Here are two Burns poems concerning the Burns Supper. Burns Night is celebrated on the 25 of January every year. It is a National Holiday in Scotland.

http://SOTU 154 Robert Burns Playlist


01-31-2015, 04:39 AM
What ..? In This weather ?????


02-02-2015, 06:57 AM
Season of the Ukulele 154 featured the Songs of Robert Burns. I the discussion a connection was drawn to the Loudon Highlanders and the Black Watch Highlanders. Thank you Rob for a most excellent Season!

The Legend of the "Battle of the Clouds"

There is a peculiar legend involving the 42/43 Black Watch Regiment, the 64th Loudon Highlanders, the Rising of 45, And the French and Indian Wars, (Seven Years War). Colonel Munro appears in the "Last of the Mohicans".

After the Jacobite Rising of 1715 the British Government started raising companies of Independent Highlanders to police the Highlands. In 1725 Ten such companies were formed into the "Black Watch" - Black for the uniform tartan the independent companies wore and watch as in "watch for crimes". Clans involved included the Campbells, the Munros, Frasers and others. In 1739 they were formed into the 43 Highland regiment of Foot. In 1743 they were ordered to the Caribbean and a mutiny ensued, many deserted home to Scotland, the leaders rounded up and executed. The remainder of the Regiment was sent to Flanders where they heroically took on the french at the battle of Fontenoy in 1745. The Irish Brigade of mercenaries ultimately won this battle for the French. Part of the regiment fought in the Battle of Culloden during the rising of '45. In 1748 the regiment was renumbered the 42 Black Watch. In 1756 they were sent to New York where they fought at the Battle of Fort Carillon, and later assaulted the Plains of Abraham.

The Loudon (64th) Highlanders were formed in 1745 at Inverness. Clan Campbell and Clan Munro were well represented. They fought and Prestonpans and Culloden. With the Suppression of the Rising of 45, most were likewise sent to Flanders; but one company under the command of Munro participated in the rounding up of usual suspects in Scotland. This unit captured some ringleaders in Moray where a Campbell treacherously betrayed a kinsman he had given sanctuary to. Said Campbell was disgraced and shunned. He ultimately Joined the Black Watch. His betrayed cousin is said to have cursed Campbell saying "he would get his come-uppance at a place called Ticonderoga, where the prickleberrys grow". Nobody knew of such a place in the Highlands.

In Inverness on July 8th, 1758 a great storm blew up. In the lightning and thunder painted on the clouds, The locals saw a great battle being fought. Many recognized cousins, brothers and fathers in this supernatural tableau. In Scottish Legend this is known as the "Battle of the Clouds"

In New York, at the juncture of Lakes George and Champlain is a fort, Fort Carillon. It was assaulted by James Amherst on the 8th of July, 1758. At Carillon over half of the Black Watch fell assaulting a line of Abatis. - Sharp pointy trees laid on the ground. The Iroquois name for this place is Ticonderoga, - "Where the Waters Meet". On the slopes rolling down to the lake are many raspberry bushes. They start to bear fruit around the 4th of July.


11-17-2015, 05:03 PM
Little Black Sambo/Tiger Rag - A Cante Fable for Diwali.