This Post Whore is giving away a uke!!! (contest)

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russ_buss

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hey all,

in celebration of my 2000th effort as a professional post whore, i'm hosting a quickie poetry contest. no video necessary.

the contest will be to write a poem with the theme being "post whore". it can be as abstract or specific as you like. it doesn't even have to rhyme. it can be humorous or dead serious. it can be short as a haiku or long as "War and Peace". post your poem in this thread and the best poem will win my Ohana Sopranino (as seen below). the poems will be judged on creativity and entertainment value.

the contest will end in two weeks, Tuesday March 17 (noon pacific time).

updates:
- enter as many times as you like
- will ship prize worldwide
- MOAR PRIZES
1st place: Ohana Sopranino
2nd place: UU hoodie
3rd place: UU t-shirt


also, i'm thinking of having all the poems bound into a paperback book that you can keep near your toilet for times of intense concentration. the 3 winners will each get a copy.




picture.php


also, thank you to the UU admins (rayan, aldrine, and that chatty cathy aaron) for making this such an awesome website. keep on uke'n!:)
 
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Congrats you hero
You play a Uke and post here
A post whore are you
 
How many times can we enter?
 
I want

.......the dog



too.





/my entry
EDIT: Titled "Post Whore"

YES THE DOG!!!! Can you throw him in also!! he is BAD ASS!!

How many poems can one submit? is there a limit.. or is this like the video contest where people do like.. one-a-day!

d
 
hey all,

in celebration of my 2000th effort as a professional post whore, i'm hosting a quickie poetry contest. no video necessary.

the contest will be to write a poem with the theme being "post whore". it can be as abstract or specific as you like. it doesn't even have to rhyme. it can be humorous or dead serious. it can be short as a haiku or long as "War and Peace". post your poem in this thread and the best poem will win my Ohana Sopranino (as seen below). the poems will be judged on creativity and entertainment value.

the contest will end in two weeks, Tuesday March 17.


picture.php


also, thank you to the UU admins (rayan, aldrine, and that chatty cathy aaron) for making this such an awesome website. keep on uke'n!:)

Russ Buss If your dog and my dog got together would they jam all night or would they post responses all night?
 
i'm being a bad post whore and consolidating my replies. i'll never reach 3000 this way.:(

Congrats hero!

mahalozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz king of the PW's!

I want

.......the dog



too.





/my entry
EDIT: Titled "Post Whore"

you are so good at following directions. gold star for you.

Congrats you hero
You play a Uke and post here
A post whore are you

excellent!

How many times can we enter?

as many times as you like. i'll update the details. thanks!

YES THE DOG!!!! Can you throw him in also!! he is BAD ASS!!

How many poems can one submit? is there a limit.. or is this like the video contest where people do like.. one-a-day!

d

no, but i'll throw in a framed photo of the dog if you like.

Russ Buss If your dog and my dog got together would they jam all night or would they post responses all night?

they would probably bark about string brands and wood grain all night. then start a few threads in the morning.:)
 
THE STEP-UKE

Oh, dear step-uke...
your parent was a whore...
posting around as if not a care in the world...
he didn't care who or what he posted to...
all he wanted was more, more, more...

your probably weren't the first to be given up...
you probably won't be the last...
But I won't give you up, little step-uke...
because little did you know that your in luck...
beating on you like you had red-hair is going to be a blast.

:D
 
Russ Buss
You don't have to click the "reply" link
Those days are over
You don't have to tell your buddies what you think

Russ Buss
You don't have to wear out that keyboard
with all your random ramblings
I don't care if it's tabs or if it's chords

Your count was once at zero
But now you are a hero
You are the post whore poster child
Time to move on to another board

EZFolk might need you
On FMM they'd read you
I'm told they could use some extra posts
down at 4th Peg

Russ Buss
You don't have to click the "reply" link

Russ Buss
You don't have to click the "reply" link


:p

JJ
 
oh post whore button on the top left... or top right
i see you staring at me all day and all night
try as i may and try as i might
help me oh help me win this long fight
i dont want to post 90 messages in one night
i quiver at nothing but from you i feel fright
lo at the end of the tunnel i see a faint light
win an ukulele i see that i might
can this be an end to my unending plight?
bring peace to my world and make me high as a kite?
in the dark of the night this light helps my sight
a lonely post whore may now make things right
as the planets align it brings me to new height
for this purpose, this poem i do write
the irony is that in order to prevail
i must click the post whore button once again... oh well
as one cant enjoy heaven without experiencing hell
my salvation or damnation is what i now spell
but i tire of this stalling, someone ring that damn bell
or throw in the towel so i can soon smell
the sweet victory of my new uke arriving in the mail
russ buss if i win, your secrets ill never tell.


phew! ok there you go! haha. i have to admit that i took the kids over to borders over the weekend for story telling time and they read two books from dr seuss. from there i drew my inspiration, but the product was much... darker. hahaha
 
Captain Google Entry 1

I'll start off with a couplet.

posting and posting and posting some more,
such is the life of an awesome post whore.
 
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That uke playing fellow named Russell
Needs to strengthen his post writing muscle
To be a post whore
He needs to write more
To top deach and UkuLeLesReggAe he must hustle
 
oh post whore button on the top left... or top right
i see you staring at me all day and all night
try as i may and try as i might
help me oh help me win this long fight
i dont want to post 90 messages in one night
i quiver at nothing but from you i feel fright
lo at the end of the tunnel i see a faint light
win an ukulele i see that i might
can this be an end to my unending plight?
bring peace to my world and make me high as a kite?
in the dark of the night this light helps my sight
a lonely post whore may now make things right
as the planets align it brings me to new height
for this purpose, this poem i do write
the irony is that in order to prevail
i must click the post whore button once again... oh well
as one cant enjoy heaven without experiencing hell
my salvation or damnation is what i now spell
but i tire of this stalling, someone ring that damn bell
or throw in the towel so i can soon smell
the sweet victory of my new uke arriving in the mail
russ buss if i win, your secrets ill never tell.

no bias here but that was Fantastic!!! haha! ok now go write a song for the band now!
 
Here is mine, in the style of Dr Seuss, since it was his bday yesterday (entry #1)

Code:
The Post Whore is an interesting creature, you see
So much more than a Senior Member, times three
Logged in for 25 hours a day
It seems that his username never goes away.

In the day, his browser is hidden beneath windows
Of Word docs and spreadsheets so no one will know
Just how much time he spends 
talking about

Flukebazzles
	Stringazzles
		KoAlohazzles
	and Fleas

Kamakoogles
	Ponowaggles
		Tunergaggles
	and V's

At night the Post Whore plinks on his stick
He plinks and he plinks 
	
	and plinks, 
		plinks, 
			plinks, 
				plink!

Then he films himself plinking
And posts it on YouTube
Finds others to plink with 
Showing that they are no uke noobs

The Post Whore is an interesting creature, you see
Without them, UU would be as boring as peas
That is why they are tagged, so everyone will know
To us, a Post Whore is a Ukelele Hero!
 
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For some odd reason, I thought you was from Hawai`i, but now that I think of it, it was Fred Miu. But here's a parody of "Fate Yanagi" By Rap Replinger I threw together. I got the chords off of TSH and I don't have my `ukulele today here at work, so I don't know if work but jjsdad posted a rendition and he put chords down and it looked like it worked so maybe have him sing it for you next time.

heres the original.

"Russ_Buss"

F Dm
I like tell you bout dis guy I wen knew,
Bb C7
he always stay on UU*, wen post one thousand times two.

Been online 500 days straight,
saw him one time, his eyes beeg as one plate.

He one post whore, constant internet connection,
Das why he get glasses for da broken kine vision.

His friend Rayan wen go and wen PM him
"No need watch the screen just twitter UU instead."

He replied, "E Rayan, try do dis for me,
Give my `ukulele to dat buggah ten fourteen (that's me ;))

but especially...

chorus:
F Dm
Tell Aldrine Guerrero I love him.
Bb C7
Tell Aldrine Guerrero I need him.
F Dm
Tell Aldrine Guerrero I going post one mo time...
Bb C7
and I neva goin go... offline.


(off key)
ooooooooooooooooooo-ooooooo-ooooh


(on key)
F Dm
Tell Braddah Deach "E Howzit?!"
Bb C7
I get one extra `ukulele I try be like him
F Dm
I get `Ohana i going give away
Bb C7
But da dog going stay wit me

til i stay dead.

(talking)
The San Jose Jam was unreal.
Nine Kine beers all icy.
Had all the big local guys out - deach, Dom, E-motion, dinkadink them.
They all was going jam together even tho get rain in the sky
and as I was choking back da tears after getting deached
there was only one thing I could think about... (pause) how much this fluke with my picture going cost?

Oh free? Solid!
I was thinking about my laptop and all the new posts I going miss reply.
I reply to um all yeah.
That's how I get Two Thousand you know? And counting.

(singing)
and as jeremy and alden driving me back home...

I called out to him (drunk) "Aldrine, I love you!"

(normal)

chorus

pau.



Notes:
*pronounced in Hawaiian "Ooh Ooh."



Based off of "Fate Yanagi" by Rap Replinger
as transposed by Mark Serrao from www.TropicalStormHawaii.com
 
ok lets try some rapping now...

post whore post whore put that mouse down
you know that the underground dont wanna hear the sound
of the click, click, post, post, "teach me im yours"
"my uke is outa tune again" just stop it, post whores!
my rhymes might offend but its all outa love
so i hope i dont get hated on when i drop it... 'cause
i gotta little story id like to tell
about a little post whore that i know so well
he's tolerated only 'cause he gives ukes away
yes its deach, now lets talk about ukulelesreggae
he posts and he posts and he posts the day away
but when i read the post im like "what the hell did he say?"
then you got russ with his long hair and crazy hats
singing country on youtube, had to take a step back
i know im not far away with 300 more posts to go
till i qualify to represent as "ukulele hero"
now why must i, why must i, why must i talk the dirt?
cuz deach keeps posting vids of himself not wearing a shirt
so i get a one, two, three and to the four
i dedicate this rhyme to all the underground post whores
and from the depths of the sea, of all thee i now mock
i say "who is tha masta?" sho'nuff its nukedoc!

dun dun dun dadadun dun
dun dun dun dun dadadun dun...
you are a post whore baby

yo, UCB! let's get outa here...

word to your mother... of pearl

you are a post whore baby, too cold, too cold...
:cool:
 
ok lets try some rapping now...

post whore post whore put that mouse down
you know that the underground dont wanna hear the sound
of the click, click, post, post, "teach me im yours"
"my uke is outa tune again" just stop it, post whores!
my rhymes might offend but its all outa love
so i hope i dont get hated on when i drop it... 'cause
i gotta little story id like to tell
about a little post whore that i know so well
he's tolerated only 'cause he gives ukes away
yes its deach, now lets talk about ukulelesreggae
he posts and he posts and he posts the day away
but when i read the post im like "what the hell did he say?"
then you got russ with his long hair and crazy hats
singing country on youtube, had to take a step back
i know im not far away with 300 more posts to go
till i qualify to represent as "ukulele hero"
now why must i, why must i, why must i talk the dirt?
cuz deach keeps posting vids of himself not wearing a shirt
so i get a one, two, three and to the four
i dedicate this rhyme to all the underground post whores
and from the depths of the sea, of all thee i now mock
i say "who is tha masta?" sho'nuff its nukedoc!

dun dun dun dadadun dun
dun dun dun dun dadadun dun...
you are a post whore baby

yo, UCB! let's get outa here...

word to your mother... of pearl

you are a post whore baby, too cold, too cold...
:cool:

Wow you wrote all that in the time it takes to drop a uke off at the post office.
 
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