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russ_buss
03-03-2009, 08:05 AM
hey all,

in celebration of my 2000th effort as a professional post whore, i'm hosting a quickie poetry contest. no video necessary.

the contest will be to write a poem with the theme being "post whore". it can be as abstract or specific as you like. it doesn't even have to rhyme. it can be humorous or dead serious. it can be short as a haiku or long as "War and Peace". post your poem in this thread and the best poem will win my Ohana Sopranino (as seen below). the poems will be judged on creativity and entertainment value.

the contest will end in two weeks, Tuesday March 17 (noon pacific time).

updates:
- enter as many times as you like
- will ship prize worldwide
- MOAR PRIZES
1st place: Ohana Sopranino
2nd place: UU hoodie
3rd place: UU t-shirt

also, i'm thinking of having all the poems bound into a paperback book that you can keep near your toilet for times of intense concentration. the 3 winners will each get a copy.



http://www.ukuleleunderground.com/forum/picture.php?albumid=8&pictureid=410

also, thank you to the UU admins (rayan, aldrine, and that chatty cathy aaron) for making this such an awesome website. keep on uke'n!:)

deach
03-03-2009, 08:06 AM
Congrats hero!

UKISOCIETY
03-03-2009, 08:08 AM
I want

.......the dog



too.





/my entry
EDIT: Titled "Post Whore"

freedive135
03-03-2009, 08:11 AM
Congrats you hero
You play a Uke and post here
A post whore are you

carpekd
03-03-2009, 08:12 AM
How many times can we enter?

dominicfoundthemooon
03-03-2009, 08:13 AM
I want

.......the dog



too.





/my entry
EDIT: Titled "Post Whore"

YES THE DOG!!!! Can you throw him in also!! he is BAD ASS!!

How many poems can one submit? is there a limit.. or is this like the video contest where people do like.. one-a-day!

d

haolejohn
03-03-2009, 08:13 AM
hey all,

in celebration of my 2000th effort as a professional post whore, i'm hosting a quickie poetry contest. no video necessary.

the contest will be to write a poem with the theme being "post whore". it can be as abstract or specific as you like. it doesn't even have to rhyme. it can be humorous or dead serious. it can be short as a haiku or long as "War and Peace". post your poem in this thread and the best poem will win my Ohana Sopranino (as seen below). the poems will be judged on creativity and entertainment value.

the contest will end in two weeks, Tuesday March 17.


http://www.ukuleleunderground.com/forum/picture.php?albumid=8&pictureid=410

also, thank you to the UU admins (rayan, aldrine, and that chatty cathy aaron) for making this such an awesome website. keep on uke'n!:)

Russ Buss If your dog and my dog got together would they jam all night or would they post responses all night?

russ_buss
03-03-2009, 08:31 AM
i'm being a bad post whore and consolidating my replies. i'll never reach 3000 this way.:(


Congrats hero!

mahalozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz king of the PW's!


I want

.......the dog



too.





/my entry
EDIT: Titled "Post Whore"

you are so good at following directions. gold star for you.


Congrats you hero
You play a Uke and post here
A post whore are you

excellent!


How many times can we enter?

as many times as you like. i'll update the details. thanks!


YES THE DOG!!!! Can you throw him in also!! he is BAD ASS!!

How many poems can one submit? is there a limit.. or is this like the video contest where people do like.. one-a-day!

d

no, but i'll throw in a framed photo of the dog if you like.


Russ Buss If your dog and my dog got together would they jam all night or would they post responses all night?

they would probably bark about string brands and wood grain all night. then start a few threads in the morning.:)

carpekd
03-03-2009, 08:50 AM
THE STEP-UKE

Oh, dear step-uke...
your parent was a whore...
posting around as if not a care in the world...
he didn't care who or what he posted to...
all he wanted was more, more, more...

your probably weren't the first to be given up...
you probably won't be the last...
But I won't give you up, little step-uke...
because little did you know that your in luck...
beating on you like you had red-hair is going to be a blast.

:D

Baron K
03-03-2009, 09:23 AM
He hammers his keyboard ‘til his fingers are sore
Never leaves his house, doesn't even reach the door
Ignoring that everyone finds him a bore
The sad and lonely life of the underground post whore

Ukulele JJ
03-03-2009, 09:31 AM
Russ Buss
You don't have to click the "reply" link
Those days are over
You don't have to tell your buddies what you think

Russ Buss
You don't have to wear out that keyboard
with all your random ramblings
I don't care if it's tabs or if it's chords

Your count was once at zero
But now you are a hero
You are the post whore poster child
Time to move on to another board

EZFolk might need you
On FMM they'd read you
I'm told they could use some extra posts
down at 4th Peg

Russ Buss
You don't have to click the "reply" link

Russ Buss
You don't have to click the "reply" link


:p

JJ

NukeDOC
03-03-2009, 09:57 AM
oh post whore button on the top left... or top right
i see you staring at me all day and all night
try as i may and try as i might
help me oh help me win this long fight
i dont want to post 90 messages in one night
i quiver at nothing but from you i feel fright
lo at the end of the tunnel i see a faint light
win an ukulele i see that i might
can this be an end to my unending plight?
bring peace to my world and make me high as a kite?
in the dark of the night this light helps my sight
a lonely post whore may now make things right
as the planets align it brings me to new height
for this purpose, this poem i do write
the irony is that in order to prevail
i must click the post whore button once again... oh well
as one cant enjoy heaven without experiencing hell
my salvation or damnation is what i now spell
but i tire of this stalling, someone ring that damn bell
or throw in the towel so i can soon smell
the sweet victory of my new uke arriving in the mail
russ buss if i win, your secrets ill never tell.


phew! ok there you go! haha. i have to admit that i took the kids over to borders over the weekend for story telling time and they read two books from dr seuss. from there i drew my inspiration, but the product was much... darker. hahaha

Captain Google
03-03-2009, 10:02 AM
I'll start off with a couplet.

posting and posting and posting some more,
such is the life of an awesome post whore.

Slick
03-03-2009, 10:08 AM
That uke playing fellow named Russell
Needs to strengthen his post writing muscle
To be a post whore
He needs to write more
To top deach and UkuLeLesReggAe he must hustle

BUGOY
03-03-2009, 10:49 AM
oh post whore button on the top left... or top right
i see you staring at me all day and all night
try as i may and try as i might
help me oh help me win this long fight
i dont want to post 90 messages in one night
i quiver at nothing but from you i feel fright
lo at the end of the tunnel i see a faint light
win an ukulele i see that i might
can this be an end to my unending plight?
bring peace to my world and make me high as a kite?
in the dark of the night this light helps my sight
a lonely post whore may now make things right
as the planets align it brings me to new height
for this purpose, this poem i do write
the irony is that in order to prevail
i must click the post whore button once again... oh well
as one cant enjoy heaven without experiencing hell
my salvation or damnation is what i now spell
but i tire of this stalling, someone ring that damn bell
or throw in the towel so i can soon smell
the sweet victory of my new uke arriving in the mail
russ buss if i win, your secrets ill never tell.


no bias here but that was Fantastic!!! haha! ok now go write a song for the band now!

khrome
03-03-2009, 11:10 AM
Here is mine, in the style of Dr Seuss, since it was his bday yesterday (entry #1)



The Post Whore is an interesting creature, you see
So much more than a Senior Member, times three
Logged in for 25 hours a day
It seems that his username never goes away.

In the day, his browser is hidden beneath windows
Of Word docs and spreadsheets so no one will know
Just how much time he spends
talking about

Flukebazzles
Stringazzles
KoAlohazzles
and Fleas

Kamakoogles
Ponowaggles
Tunergaggles
and V's

At night the Post Whore plinks on his stick
He plinks and he plinks

and plinks,
plinks,
plinks,
plink!

Then he films himself plinking
And posts it on YouTube
Finds others to plink with
Showing that they are no uke noobs

The Post Whore is an interesting creature, you see
Without them, UU would be as boring as peas
That is why they are tagged, so everyone will know
To us, a Post Whore is a Ukelele Hero!

1014
03-03-2009, 11:45 AM
For some odd reason, I thought you was from Hawai`i, but now that I think of it, it was Fred Miu. But here's a parody of "Fate Yanagi" By Rap Replinger I threw together. I got the chords off of TSH and I don't have my `ukulele today here at work, so I don't know if work but jjsdad (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V68EPei6WGQ) posted a rendition and he put chords down and it looked like it worked so maybe have him sing it for you next time.

heres the original (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJg8ICcjVH4).

"Russ_Buss"

F Dm
I like tell you bout dis guy I wen knew,
Bb C7
he always stay on UU*, wen post one thousand times two.

Been online 500 days straight,
saw him one time, his eyes beeg as one plate.

He one post whore, constant internet connection,
Das why he get glasses for da broken kine vision.

His friend Rayan wen go and wen PM him
"No need watch the screen just twitter UU instead."

He replied, "E Rayan, try do dis for me,
Give my `ukulele to dat buggah ten fourteen (that's me ;))

but especially...

chorus:
F Dm
Tell Aldrine Guerrero I love him.
Bb C7
Tell Aldrine Guerrero I need him.
F Dm
Tell Aldrine Guerrero I going post one mo time...
Bb C7
and I neva goin go... offline.


(off key)
ooooooooooooooooooo-ooooooo-ooooh


(on key)
F Dm
Tell Braddah Deach "E Howzit?!"
Bb C7
I get one extra `ukulele I try be like him
F Dm
I get `Ohana i going give away
Bb C7
But da dog going stay wit me

til i stay dead.

(talking)
The San Jose Jam was unreal.
Nine Kine beers all icy.
Had all the big local guys out - deach, Dom, E-motion, dinkadink them.
They all was going jam together even tho get rain in the sky
and as I was choking back da tears after getting deached
there was only one thing I could think about... (pause) how much this fluke with my picture going cost?

Oh free? Solid!
I was thinking about my laptop and all the new posts I going miss reply.
I reply to um all yeah.
That's how I get Two Thousand you know? And counting.

(singing)
and as jeremy and alden driving me back home...

I called out to him (drunk) "Aldrine, I love you!"

(normal)

chorus

pau.



Notes:
*pronounced in Hawaiian "Ooh Ooh."



Based off of "Fate Yanagi" by Rap Replinger
as transposed by Mark Serrao from www.TropicalStormHawaii.com

NukeDOC
03-03-2009, 01:32 PM
ok lets try some rapping now...

post whore post whore put that mouse down
you know that the underground dont wanna hear the sound
of the click, click, post, post, "teach me im yours"
"my uke is outa tune again" just stop it, post whores!
my rhymes might offend but its all outa love
so i hope i dont get hated on when i drop it... 'cause
i gotta little story id like to tell
about a little post whore that i know so well
he's tolerated only 'cause he gives ukes away
yes its deach, now lets talk about ukulelesreggae
he posts and he posts and he posts the day away
but when i read the post im like "what the hell did he say?"
then you got russ with his long hair and crazy hats
singing country on youtube, had to take a step back
i know im not far away with 300 more posts to go
till i qualify to represent as "ukulele hero"
now why must i, why must i, why must i talk the dirt?
cuz deach keeps posting vids of himself not wearing a shirt
so i get a one, two, three and to the four
i dedicate this rhyme to all the underground post whores
and from the depths of the sea, of all thee i now mock
i say "who is tha masta?" sho'nuff its nukedoc!

dun dun dun dadadun dun
dun dun dun dun dadadun dun...
you are a post whore baby

yo, UCB! let's get outa here...

word to your mother... of pearl

you are a post whore baby, too cold, too cold...
:cool:

deach
03-03-2009, 01:34 PM
ok lets try some rapping now...

post whore post whore put that mouse down
you know that the underground dont wanna hear the sound
of the click, click, post, post, "teach me im yours"
"my uke is outa tune again" just stop it, post whores!
my rhymes might offend but its all outa love
so i hope i dont get hated on when i drop it... 'cause
i gotta little story id like to tell
about a little post whore that i know so well
he's tolerated only 'cause he gives ukes away
yes its deach, now lets talk about ukulelesreggae
he posts and he posts and he posts the day away
but when i read the post im like "what the hell did he say?"
then you got russ with his long hair and crazy hats
singing country on youtube, had to take a step back
i know im not far away with 300 more posts to go
till i qualify to represent as "ukulele hero"
now why must i, why must i, why must i talk the dirt?
cuz deach keeps posting vids of himself not wearing a shirt
so i get a one, two, three and to the four
i dedicate this rhyme to all the underground post whores
and from the depths of the sea, of all thee i now mock
i say "who is tha masta?" sho'nuff its nukedoc!

dun dun dun dadadun dun
dun dun dun dun dadadun dun...
you are a post whore baby

yo, UCB! let's get outa here...

word to your mother... of pearl

you are a post whore baby, too cold, too cold...
:cool:

Wow you wrote all that in the time it takes to drop a uke off at the post office.

NukeDOC
03-03-2009, 01:38 PM
Wow you wrote all that in the time it takes to drop a uke off at the post office.

DAMMIT! hahaha you got me.

russ_buss
03-03-2009, 01:44 PM
lolzzzzz, man there have been some great poems so far. thanks people!

gonna need more prizes. so hear we go:

1st place: Ohana Sopranino
2nd place: UU hoodie
3rd place: UU t-shirt

also, i'm thinking of having all the poems bound into a paperback book that you can keep near your toilet for times of intense concentration. the 3 winners will each get a copy.

i'll update this on the original post. keep em coming guys!:)

h-drix
03-03-2009, 02:25 PM
so heres my try:

I know a guy named russ buss
he's always causing a disgusting fuss
he's sitting on his computer , examining the double U
While his mother yells at him black and blue

"why you always looking at those small guitars
couldn't you being doing something afar
like saving the whales, or curing children with ails"
she even cries "hell, go out and get a girl"

"I cant I cant,
i need to be the next ukulele Rembrandt"
his mother responds "then play,then play"
I only hear typing that sounds like a melee

He types so hard and fast
that he breezes though every thread with a blast
He cant even keep out of his own thread
Look at post number 21
if you dont believe a word that i've said

jm12
03-03-2009, 02:41 PM
post whore with a glistening little dog
gallantry-bark, bark strum strum
corpulent rain drops fall from a ukulele mouth
sweet like a candy bar

i dont know why a ukulele plays a dog
"why not" is the obvious reply
a sleeping cat, is not a dog
sleeping cats sleep while ukulele dogs strum

oh post whore why do you play
little by little tears fade away
sticks and stones toys for a dog
while he dances on a cloud

post whore puppy dog
like a diamond ring
thinking of pirates and buried
treasure

DeG
03-03-2009, 02:47 PM
For some odd reason, I thought you was from Hawai`i, but now that I think of it, it was Fred Miu. But here's a parody of "Fate Yanagi" By Rap Replinger I threw together. I got the chords off of TSH and I don't have my `ukulele today here at work, so I don't know if work but jjsdad (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V68EPei6WGQ) posted a rendition and he put chords down and it looked like it worked so maybe have him sing it for you next time.



How 'bout "Ukes for Lolos" :shaka:
Too funny....

Ukulele JJ
03-03-2009, 04:12 PM
post whore with a glistening little dog
gallantry-bark, bark strum strum
corpulent rain drops fall from a ukulele mouth
sweet like a candy bar

i dont know why a ukulele plays a dog
"why not" is the obvious reply
a sleeping cat, is not a dog
sleeping cats sleep while ukulele dogs strum

oh post whore why do you play
little by little tears fade away
sticks and stones toys for a dog
while he dances on a cloud

post whore puppy dog
like a diamond ring
thinking of pirates and buried
treasure

That one gets my vote. :shaka:

JJ

haolejohn
03-03-2009, 04:22 PM
For some odd reason, I thought you was from Hawai`i, but now that I think of it, it was Fred Miu. But here's a parody of "Fate Yanagi" By Rap Replinger I threw together. I got the chords off of TSH and I don't have my `ukulele today here at work, so I don't know if work but jjsdad (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V68EPei6WGQ) posted a rendition and he put chords down and it looked like it worked so maybe have him sing it for you next time.

heres the original (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJg8ICcjVH4).

"Russ_Buss"

F Dm
I like tell you bout dis guy I wen knew,
Bb C7
he always stay on UU*, wen post one thousand times two.

Been online 500 days straight,
saw him one time, his eyes beeg as one plate.

He one post whore, constant internet connection,
Das why he get glasses for da broken kine vision.

His friend Rayan wen go and wen PM him
"No need watch the screen just twitter UU instead."

He replied, "E Rayan, try do dis for me,
Give my `ukulele to dat buggah ten fourteen (that's me ;))

but especially...

chorus:
F Dm
Tell Aldrine Guerrero I love him.
Bb C7
Tell Aldrine Guerrero I need him.
F Dm
Tell Aldrine Guerrero I going post one mo time...
Bb C7
and I neva goin go... offline.


(off key)
ooooooooooooooooooo-ooooooo-ooooh


(on key)
F Dm
Tell Braddah Deach "E Howzit?!"
Bb C7
I get one extra `ukulele I try be like him
F Dm
I get `Ohana i going give away
Bb C7
But da dog going stay wit me

til i stay dead.

(talking)
The San Jose Jam was unreal.
Nine Kine beers all icy.
Had all the big local guys out - deach, Dom, E-motion, dinkadink them.
They all was going jam together even tho get rain in the sky
and as I was choking back da tears after getting deached
there was only one thing I could think about... (pause) how much this fluke with my picture going cost?

Oh free? Solid!
I was thinking about my laptop and all the new posts I going miss reply.
I reply to um all yeah.
That's how I get Two Thousand you know? And counting.

(singing)
and as jeremy and alden driving me back home...

I called out to him (drunk) "Aldrine, I love you!"

(normal)

chorus

pau.



Notes:
*pronounced in Hawaiian "Ooh Ooh."



Based off of "Fate Yanagi" by Rap Replinger
as transposed by Mark Serrao from www.TropicalStormHawaii.com

Dat wuz da kine. Ehh I mean no ka oi.

Luna
03-03-2009, 04:23 PM
On the theme of "Post Whore:"

"UU Post Whore"
(as I imagine the rebuttal by an obsessed UU member to a concerned member of their family:)

Yes, I know it's twelve-thirty, but I must post more.
I don't care what you say; I know I'm no post whore.
What? The house is on fire? Be off in a sec.
There are just a few threads that I still have to check.
Someone twelve states away has a crack in their uke.
And if I don't help them, they might lose their Fluke.
I know just what you're thinking. Just why should I care
what a man six states over is itching to share,
but some guy in Ohio just put up the tabs
to my favorite six songs, and a photo of cabs.*
Then I have to help someone pick out their G-String.
(--no, I'm not talking panties, it's just an uke thing.)
Then I have to make sure that I've seen every thread
and replied; I'll leave no single topic unread.
Do you understand now? Do you finally see?
I can't stop for a second; not even to pee.
If you can't understand it, just go out that door!
...okay, fine, I'll admit it. I am a post whore.

*a cabinet containing a speaker or speakers for a guitar amplifier. I was desperate for a rhyme and I looked it up to make sure there weren't any alternate meanings, and this turned out to be quite appropriate. That was lucky.

Valerie
03-03-2009, 04:23 PM
Post Whore: a haiku

Each day brings new thoughts
So easily they are lost
Unless saved online

MisoHappy
03-03-2009, 04:50 PM
I have my entry up soon!!!!
(a contest where I'll be criticizing myself, hmmmm...)

1014
03-03-2009, 05:30 PM
I think I'm having too much fun listening to Rap Reiplinger.

Based on "Loving you is Surfing You. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZwy4CiGsqE)" A little PG-13. ;)

"Loving You is Strumming You."

As I posting through this site,
With my hair falling in front of my face.
I power tab through your thighs
and transpose on your face.
Yes loving you is strumming you.
Ey what else can i do?
but oil up my fretboard
and tremolo your unwound string.
we play duo, my love
You lay it down
and i play on top.
I never chicken out, if we get UU get-together.
I rather forget the words and get boo-ed.
That's right, loving you is strumming you.
Like one good song for learn on Live Lesson.
No, I'll never chicken out.
I'll never sign out,
if you let me hold your figure 8.
As I posting on this site, titah,
with my hair falling in front of my face.
I power tab through your thighs
and transpose on your face.

Minahz, we go eat!

Yopparai
03-03-2009, 06:01 PM
Haiku:
Ode to the Post Whore,
Fingers swollen and bleeding.
Dude, go take a break.

Limerick:
There once was a post whore named RussBuss
who's postings made even the admins cuss
"He's typing all day,
and posting away.
I swear that he must be an octopus!"

English Sonnet:
How shouldst we then regard yon faire post whore
who shares with ease his positions and his thought?
His tapping fingers post more than he ought;
or should we, rather, ask him to post more?
He selfishly doth tend to prattle on,
Narcissus primping, his mirror now a screen;
Or selflessly he slaves on his machine
That we his wit and wisdom gaily don.
His posts, now thousandfold, the forums cluttered-
No thread is read but through them we must trod;
or reward his deep engagement, making him a mod
and against him not another curse be uttered.

For all his faults and virtues it could be worse.
The Post Whore is a blessing... and a curse.
==================
Writing iambic pentameter always makes me tired. Maybe I will try again later.

UkuLeLesReggAe
03-03-2009, 06:06 PM
3rd ukulele hero. grats

PaulGeo
03-03-2009, 06:17 PM
I would enter the post whore contest
But I'm not sure how I can be UU's best
All the above entries are so good
I would need some strong brain-food
If I were to beat out the rest

Let's check the shroom crop
I don't think they're ready to chop
My peyote has gone rancid
Maybe mix up a batch of acid
Whatever it takes to get me to the top

On second thought maybe I'll just play
Some relaxing music on my ukulele
And think of happy things
like strumming those sopranino strings
and having Jessica Alba next to me lay

;)

Stackabones
03-03-2009, 07:05 PM
POST WHORE: a triolet (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triolet)

Again and again and again!
I'll do it till my fingers are sore.
Is all this loose typing a sin?
Again and again and again!
Who knows where my fingers have been?
Yes. Yes! YES! Faster! Give me more!
Again and again and again!
I'll do it till my fingers are sore.

gotrice415510
03-03-2009, 08:06 PM
Post whore, O, post whore
Just stop the madness!
Now give me your uke!

its a haiku? i guess.... im terrible at this kind of stuff:D

smgold101
03-03-2009, 08:06 PM
Post Whore

I post and I post, all day long
I just keep on posting, no sense of right or wrong
My numbers they grow, in that top right box
Did you see I reached 2000? You don’t have to tell me, I know it rocks
Some people may call me a whore
I wouldn’t disagree
But you see, each of my posts mean something to me, and that’s a guarantee
Maybe it was about the recent game, of what’s behind the door
Or maybe I was helping someone new, with the strum pattern of I’m yours
No matter how long or short, my posts may be
As long as it makes the most, now that’s the key
Can you imagine, number one post whore of all the land?
Man, just the thought…wouldn’t that be grand
That day could happen, it could come
On second thought no it defiantly will, I shall succumb
And for all those doubters out there, well you obviously can’t see
I can respond to any thing, your broken flea, the song sweet pea, even what kind of tree, made your ukulele
Ya know this accomplishment is great, but I couldn’t do it alone
I have Rayan to thank, and of course Aldrine Guerrero
Without them, my posts wouldn’t mean a thing
I would have to go to some lame other forum, and talk about that old wrestler, uh what was his name, oh yea sting
But my worries are safe, for UU exists
I can post all I want! My life is bliss!

smgold101
03-03-2009, 08:26 PM
I feel like this needs to be on here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqU84DZIPLA

casetone2514
03-03-2009, 08:53 PM
There once was a post whore called Russbuss
Who stupidly thought he could trust us
To write him a poem
About all that we owe 'im
In the end it was totally useless

Tony
(Poet Laureat to the King of Kong)

Ukuleles are great
Even more Ukes are greater
UAS gets us all
Sooner or later

Pippin
03-03-2009, 09:04 PM
Alas, my puppy came to me,
excuse me, sir, I have a flea

If you could pull yourself away
from posting, please, I'd like to play

We'll sing and dance and play a tune
of doggies howling at the moon

And cats and mice and other songs
we'll jam together all day long

But, I can see my pleas unheard
that posting whore said not a word

Just ticka ticka went the keys
he loves UU much more than me

Neglect, I tell you, it's a crime
I want to jam, but he's online

I want to jam, but he's online

khrome
03-04-2009, 12:48 AM
Here is my Shape Poem (entry #2):



Ukule
le He
ro, p
ostin
g d
ay
and
nig
ht,
Can
you
pau
se
and
enjoy a b
brief respi
te? Take a
break, pu
ll up a cha
ir, play a tune
or two. Or does y
our itchy trigg
er finger t
hreaten to consume?

HaileISela
03-04-2009, 02:10 AM
Here is my Shape Poem:



Ukule
le He
ro, p
ostin
g d
ay
and
nig
ht,
Can
you
pau
se
and
enjoy a b
brief respi
te? Take a
break, pu
ll up a cha
ir, play a tune
or two. Or does y
our itchy trigg
er finger t
hreaten to consume?



this is my favorite, it combines two things I could never do: poetry and painting!

but well, I guess,
I'll give it a try
nevertheless.


once there was a dude,
playing on his Uke,
people called him Russ,
dunno why the buss...

well, he once dressed up,
trying to be deach,
eating from a cup*,
but he could never reach,

deaches greatness as a hero
of the underground.
stuck he was by fear, oh,
how high was the count?

His dream was to become
a post man, when he was young.
what he's now is more
alike a, uhm, post whore...

;)

*= cup of mayo, yook minutes #1

Sayyadina
03-04-2009, 05:05 AM
Here is mine, in the style of Dr Seuss, since it was his bday yesterday



The Post Whore is an interesting creature, you see
So much more than a Senior Member, times three
Logged in for 25 hours a day
It seems that his username never goes away.

In the day, his browser is hidden beneath windows
Of Word docs and spreadsheets so no one will know
Just how much time he spends
talking about

Flukebazzles
Stringazzles
KoAlohazzles
and Fleas

Kamakoogles
Ponowaggles
Tunergaggles
and V's

At night the Post Whore plinks on his stick
He plinks and he plinks

and plinks,
plinks,
plinks,
plink!

Then he films himself plinking
And posts it on YouTube
Finds others to plink with
Showing that they are no uke noobs

The Post Whore is an interesting creature, you see
Without them, UU would be as boring as peas
That is why they are tagged, so everyone will know
To us, a Post Whore is a Ukelele Hero!


I really liked that!
I hope you win :).

Fred Miu
03-04-2009, 05:18 AM
im looking forward to seeing some more sweet poemzzzzzzz.

if anybody gets the dog, i will be so bummed.....i always wanted a puppy...

dominicfoundthemooon
03-04-2009, 05:53 AM
Tied Off Arm With a USB Chord -- By DominicFoundTheMoon 03/04/09

the streets are filled with darkness -- as lighting struck the poll
the post whore emerges from the depths -- of his post whore hole

the internet has gone down -- his laptop has lost its link
his mind is filled with shivers -- his stomach begins to sink

the sweat it starts to drip -- from his hands and head
his fingers begin to tremble -- horrifying since of dread

he struggles with the refresh button -- but with to no avail
the wireless internet signal he was stealing -- over and over fails

the jonesing starts to build up -- he just needs one quick hit
one PM... a short reply... -- will hold him... get his fix

he curls up on his porch - - into a little ball
he's lost in anxious thoughts -- with no one he can call

he just knows that deach is posting -- his number going higher
to that status of UkeHero -- The post whore does aspire

and then he sees a flicker -- a light comes on next door
the powers back on -- the net is up his feet they hit the floor

and with one quick motion -- ties his arm off with a usb chord
powers up his laptop -- and starts to post and whore

all night he feels the sting -- but it is such a joyfull pain
the post whore is on the net -- posting once again

dominicfoundthemooon
03-04-2009, 06:04 AM
Entry #2 POST WHORE... YOU DON'T HAVE TO TURN ON THE NET TONIGHT
by DominicFoundTheMoon 03/04/09


Poooooooooost Whore.... You don't have to turn on the net tonight

you can go rent a movie... get some fried chicken... or just go fly a kite

Poooooooooost Whore.... You don't have to turn on the net tonight

go get a date... meet a nice girl... i promise it will be alright...

Poooooooooost Whore.... You don't have to turn on the net tonight

take your dog for a walk (i've seen him he looks sad) give him a delight

Poooooooooost Whore.... You don't have to turn on the net tonight

put down the keyboard and work on your chords make your skills more tight

Poooooooooost Whore.... You don't have to turn on the net tonight

deach will be fine right were you left him your a uke hero in your own right

Poooooooooost Whore.... You don't have to turn on the net tonight

go work on your vocals on your snowball or like JJ say dynamite


..... I just realized I could keep going with this all day... but.. I will save you all the reading.. you get the point...

spazus_maximus
03-04-2009, 06:06 AM
Roses are red violets are blue....
I dont know post whore but i want a free uke!

I need words that rhyme to make this happen
upon my new uke I will be slappin



Oh well....Kinda like the lottery cant win it unless your in it:shaka:

dominicfoundthemooon
03-04-2009, 06:12 AM
Entry #3 GRADE SCHOOL POEM by DominicFoundTheMoon

Post whore you are my hero... my ukulele hero to be exact
On top of the world with your fluke amazing with your smack
So cool when you touch those strings and talk about it the forum
To the extreme you post every day paying no attention to decorum

With quickness you play as well as you post on the ukulele underground
How I wish I was you with your white dog walking around
Or how your hair flows from the top of your head and down onto your shoulder
Round and round I go with your sounds on my computer you have your own folder
Every day I see you post I just want to be like you!

How many of you had to do this when you were in grade school...

menehunenyc
03-04-2009, 06:22 AM
A Haiku entry:

A "Professional Post Whore"
Thats my claim to fame
Wish I could play the uke more

-------------------------
Can you dig it:cheers:

Stackabones
03-04-2009, 06:25 AM
Entry #2 POST WHORE... YOU DON'T HAVE TO TURN ON THE NET TONIGHT
by DominicFoundTheMoon 03/04/09


Poooooooooost Whore.... You don't have to turn on the net tonight

you can go rent a movie... get some fried chicken... or just go fly a kite

Poooooooooost Whore.... You don't have to turn on the net tonight

go get a date... meet a nice girl... i promise it will be alright...

Poooooooooost Whore.... You don't have to turn on the net tonight

take your dog for a walk (i've seen him he looks sad) give him a delight

Poooooooooost Whore.... You don't have to turn on the net tonight

put down the keyboard and work on your chords make your skills more tight

Poooooooooost Whore.... You don't have to turn on the net tonight

deach will be fine right were you left him your a uke hero in your own right

Poooooooooost Whore.... You don't have to turn on the net tonight

go work on your vocals on your snowball or like JJ say dynamite


..... I just realized I could keep going with this all day... but.. I will save you all the reading.. you get the point...

You must MUST MUST record this! :worship:

dominicfoundthemooon
03-04-2009, 06:28 AM
You must MUST MUST record this! :worship:

you got it!! you know.. from the song!!! NICE!! humm i hope songs count.. but this was more of a poem/song.. right!

Stackabones
03-04-2009, 06:29 AM
you got it!! you know.. from the song!!! NICE!! humm i hope songs count.. but this was more of a poem/song.. right!

;) :shaka:

cpatch
03-04-2009, 06:43 AM
just


a


post whore


poem.

UKISOCIETY
03-04-2009, 06:52 AM
Post Whore?
Post more!

dominicfoundthemooon
03-04-2009, 06:54 AM
Entry #4? POST 100 by DominicFoundTheMoon

RUSSBUSS you did it... I can not ignore
that with this contest you have made ME a whore
I joined this site only a few days ago
and with this POST NUMBER 100 I have become a HO!
thats right.. thats right.. i am now one too
5.7 post a day makes me just like you
only i am not quite that good and with out a cool dog
but lost in this UU world in a fog!
it seems I am now the one that needs to get a life..
or at least that is what the girl in my videos tells me (my future wife)

smgold101
03-04-2009, 07:18 AM
P-O-S-T

P is for the all Posts you give to me
O is for how you talk more then Bill O'Reilly
S is Super duper, Post whore party poopers
T are bigger Turds, so don't mind um at all cuase your my post whore

and Posts are all that i want to get, from you
Posts, shouldn't you write one your bout overdue
With your posts you make it, oh so very awesome ain't it
Post were made especially for you!

P is for the all Posts you give to me
O is for how you talk more then Bill O'Reilly
S is Super duper, Post whore party poopers
T are bigger Turds, so don't mind um at all cuase your my post whore

and Posts are all that i want to get, from you
Posts, shouldn't you write one your bout overdue
With your posts you make it, oh so very awesome ain't it
Post were made especially for you!

yeah Post were made especially for you!

smgold101
03-04-2009, 07:21 AM
P-O-S-T

P is for all the Posts you give to me
O is for how you talk more then Bill O'Reilly
S is Super duper, Post whore party poopers
T are bigger Turds, so don't mind um at all cuase your my post whore

and Posts are all that i want to get, from you
Posts, shouldn't you write one your bout overdue
With your posts you make it, oh so very awesome ain't it
Post were made especially for you!

P is for all the Posts you give to me
O is for how you talk more then Bill O'Reilly
S is Super duper, Post whore party poopers
T are bigger Turds, so don't mind um at all cuase your my post whore

and Posts are all that i want to get, from you
Posts, shouldn't you write one your bout overdue
With your posts you make it, oh so very awesome ain't it
Post were made especially for you!

yeah Post were made especially for you!

khrome
03-04-2009, 07:39 AM
this is my favorite, it combines two things I could never do: poetry and painting!


I really liked that!
I hope you win :).

Thanks, you two!! :D


Entry #3 GRADE SCHOOL POEM by DominicFoundTheMoon
How many of you had to do this when you were in grade school...

Yup yup - it's called an acrostic. Lewis Carroll is well-known for those. I was going to try one of those too.

Captain Google
03-04-2009, 08:15 AM
Here's my Acrostic:

Russ is a post whore, this is true.
Under no pressure but his own, he posts.
So that one day he may reach that 2000-post mark.
So that one day he may become an ukulele hero.

Believe me when I say this:
Ukulele Underground loves its post whores.
So few exist, but they deserve our respect.
So much do they post, that we never have nothing to read.

JT_Ukes
03-04-2009, 08:15 AM
A multi-verse Haiku for The RussBuss
by JT Shea


RussBuss right on time
friends gather to get on board
UU post whore you

your strings sing out true
G C E A, all in tune
UU post whore you

Words posted online
posted on a web of strings
UU post whore you

Forum and YouTube
he posts wherever he can
UU post whore you

We love you russbuss
and your little doggy too
UU post whore you

tori8984
03-04-2009, 08:22 AM
Rollin, Rollin, Rollin...
keep those fingers goin
the forum aint yet swollen

POST WHORE

Rain and wind and weather

Hell bent for leather

a'wishin my mouse was by my side

All the things i'm missin

good vitals and dog kissin

will be a waitin at the end of my posts

Click it up!

W' emoticons!

Click it up !

Post Whore!

Slap it off!

New Thread!

C L I C K I T U P !

POST WHORE !

cpatch
03-04-2009, 08:27 AM
Roses are red,
Aquilas are white,
You're a post whore,
And this doesn't rhyme.

Stackabones
03-04-2009, 08:27 AM
Rollin, Rollin, Rollin...
keep those fingers goin
the forum aint yet swollen

POST WHORE

Rain and wind and weather

Hell bent for leather

a'wishin my mouse was by my side

All the things i'm missin

good vitals and dog kissin

will be a waitin at the end of my posts

Click it up!

W' emoticons!

Click it up !

Post Whore!

Slap it off!

New Thread!

C L I C K I T U P !

POST WHORE !

;):shaka::cheers:

1014
03-04-2009, 08:50 AM
Aloha Kakou,
My last, but more seriously toned entry. I don't know Russ_Buss outside of the UU hale, so this mele is very incomplete and empty. Maybe, after I actually show up for a local meet-up I'll be able to revise. If someone is more fluent in `Olelo Hawai`i, please ho`opololei ko`u mele.


He mele inoa no Russ_Buss

He mele inoa no Russ_Buss.

Na ho`omo`ali`ali kaukani i ka lole,
The thousand cuts to the cloth

Na ha`awina ma`a i ke akamai a me ka `ino.
the experienced gifts of intelligence and evil.

He keiki no `Okalana, ke kakau mo`olelo,
A Child of Oakland, the maker of the story,

Ho`okani i kana kaunu.
plays the song of his passion.

He mele inoa no Russ_buss.

Ua pau.

beeejums
03-04-2009, 08:52 AM
An Ukulele Poetry Slam!? (I know it's been here a while, I've been busy) I'll have to get in on this once my huge stack of job applications is a bit smaller... whip out my latent English Major Skillz.

has anyone else ever noticed that the words "dactylic dimiter" is actually a line of dactylic dimiter? That's why it's my favorite meter. Maybe I'll write a poem in dactylic dimiter.

russ_buss
03-04-2009, 09:03 AM
Oh well....Kinda like the lottery cant win it unless your in it:shaka:

you are absolutely correct!




really lovely entries so far. you guys are a creative bunch!!

thanks,
P.W.

kieranttt
03-04-2009, 09:20 AM
ukulele hero or a ukulele whore
either one im gonna be forever more
when my palm touches a uku its beatiful for sure
ukulele underground seems to be my home
four stringed masterpiece unusual tone

Stackabones
03-04-2009, 09:31 AM
has anyone else ever noticed that the words "dactylic dimiter" is actually a line of dactylic dimiter? That's why it's my favorite meter. Maybe I'll write a poem in dactylic dimiter.

I guess it depends on how you pronounce it ...


dactylic dimeter


dactylic dimeter

If the first, then you have dactylic dimeter; if the second, then you have amphibrachic dimeter. :confused:


Dactyl itself is a trochee. ;)

:cool::shaka:

HaileISela
03-04-2009, 09:45 AM
Rollin, Rollin, Rollin...
keep those fingers goin
the forum aint yet swollen

POST WHORE

Rain and wind and weather

Hell bent for leather

a'wishin my mouse was by my side

All the things i'm missin

good vitals and dog kissin

will be a waitin at the end of my posts

Click it up!

W' emoticons!

Click it up !

Post Whore!

Slap it off!

New Thread!

C L I C K I T U P !

POST WHORE !

yay, reminds of of the Blues Brothers (my favorite band when I was a child...)

DanaC
03-04-2009, 09:53 AM
Aw snaps. I really want that ukeee!!!
... here's my first try, a haiku:

Message boards are fun
Spending hours on the net
Posting like a whore

... that took a lot of thought right there. :rolleyes:

JKoval
03-04-2009, 10:53 AM
Social interactions don't fare too well,
This count addiction,
Our Heaven, His Hell.
One reply, a compliment or cuss,
This count addiction,
Of our stricken Russ Buss.

Enjoy! :D
-Jeff

beeejums
03-04-2009, 11:07 AM
I guess it depends on how you pronounce it ...


dactylic dimeter


dactylic dimeter

If the first, then you have dactylic dimeter; if the second, then you have amphibrachic dimeter. :confused:


Dactyl itself is a trochee. ;)


Good point, but if this is going to be a pissing contest...

dactylic dimiter would only be amphibrachic dimiter if that's what the context suggested; otherwise this would be amphibrachic dimiter with a dactylic substitution. I assumed it would be dactylic since that's how all my profs pronounced it back in the day.

Not that anyone's counting... :D
Either way, writing it is hard. I'm still working on my entry.

Now that I think about it, I'm going to have to work really hard now that I know you're going to be scanning my poem and calling me out on imperfections in my meter ;)

smgold101
03-04-2009, 11:20 AM
Russ Buss The Post whore

Folks, heres a story bout Russ Buss the Post whore
He was a member we just couldn't ignore
He could post all day and night
The total number of posts he has is outa sight

Click n Clack n Click n Clee
Poooooooooooooooost
Tap n clap n tap n tap
Post'n post'n post'n post

He messed around with a peach named deachay!
He said to him what he wanted through the freedom of speachay!
Deach took russ down by the bay of san jose
And surprised him with a fluke, right in mid play

Click n Clack n Click n Clee
Poooooooooooooooost
Tap n clap n tap n tap
Post'n post'n post'n post

Russ had a dream about being king of postin
If he could do it, it would be worth boastin
So he started posting here and there
Before he knew it he was posting everywhere

Post n post n post n post n post n post n post
Click n Clack n Click n Clack n Click and Clack n Clow
Tippity Tap Tippity Tap Tippity Tippity Tippity Tap
Strummin strummin Post'n post strummin post'n post

Russbuss posted until his fingers were busted
He reached 2000 now his ranks adjusted
He's now like our friend deach a uke hero
Compared to Russ my post count may as well be zero

Click n Clack n Click n Cly
Post n post n post n post
Tippity tap tippity tippity tap

Post whore, Post whore, poooooost Whore...



Inspired by, Cab Calloway, Tori8984 (blues brothers=fav movie:) ) and Of course Russ!

casetone2514
03-04-2009, 11:59 AM
Good point, but if this is going to be a pissing contest...

dactylic dimiter would only be amphibrachic dimiter if that's what the context suggested; otherwise this would be amphibrachic dimiter with a dactylic substitution. I assumed it would be dactylic since that's how all my profs pronounced it back in the day.

Not that anyone's counting... :D
Either way, writing it is hard. I'm still working on my entry.

Now that I think about it, I'm going to have to work really hard now that I know you're going to be scanning my poem and calling me out on imperfections in my meter ;)

Hmm, interesting. Anyone remember Seaside Shuffle by Terry Dactyl and the Dinosaurs? No? Just me, then.

Stackabones
03-04-2009, 02:54 PM
Good point, but if this is going to be a pissing contest...

dactylic dimiter would only be amphibrachic dimiter if that's what the context suggested; otherwise this would be amphibrachic dimiter with a dactylic substitution. I assumed it would be dactylic since that's how all my profs pronounced it back in the day.

Not that anyone's counting... :D
Either way, writing it is hard. I'm still working on my entry.

Now that I think about it, I'm going to have to work really hard now that I know you're going to be scanning my poem and calling me out on imperfections in my meter ;)

:smileybounce:

Nah, we know enough about meter to argue the subtleties of substitutions! No one will be the wiser. :cheers:

MisoHappy
03-04-2009, 03:29 PM
Overindulgence
by MisoHappy

Your the new guy in town, waiting to jump into
This enormous new forum, you’ve been quiet hitherto
“When will I ever make myself known?” you said
But all of that doubt was just in your head
And no less than a week had gone by since you joined
you went on a frenzy, you couldn’t stop going
Soon everyone met you, celebrity speaking
All of them knew it was friendship they were seeking
You were everyone’s friend, believe it or not
But just two weeks later, your rep was to rot
People realized, it seems, you talked with no end
You changed the subject, and hijacked their thread
You’re at 3,000 posts, It’s been less than 2 months
Your chair was embedded into your butt
when was the last time you reached for the doorknob?
Or taken a bath, don’t you have a job?
When will you notice?
When will you see?
Your overindulgence is killing me
We don’t have to know some of the things you say
Just answer the question, and leave it, okay?
Why do you have to say something every time?
Just say whatever happens to be on your mind?
Keep it to yourself, you star-struck wannabe
We like you, and all, but just leave us be
Don’t get us wrong, we love you, don’t leave!
But your addiction is starting to peeve
All we want is for you to cut it down
Get off of your butt, go and get out
I understand why you love us as much as you do
But your wife, and your son, and your daughter miss you!
Now ponder this rant, while I try to think
of a time where you didn’t jabber to the brink

I hope I never see your username again,
MISOHAPPY

beeejums
03-04-2009, 03:59 PM
So my first entry will be my second, since I was hit with inspiration while I'm supposed to be doing something else... A bit of silly free verse. With too much formatting.
---------------------
d--
--r
o--
--w
n--
--i
n--
--g

in a
SEA of

pleasehelpmefindthechordsidisagreewithyouaquilastr ingsarefarsuperiorilikethesuperiorsoundofkoaukulel esovermahogany...

and it was all--

--you--

--post whore.

commandercup
03-04-2009, 04:10 PM
I think this is entry 5? 4 is taken... 6 is taken... but 5?

Rambunctious to
Undertake a
Strain, to
Struggle

for a

Boon from the
Urge to
String together
Songs of text

Russ_Buss

Yopparai
03-04-2009, 04:32 PM
Stackabones and beeejums, I probably wouldn't have attempted the sonnet if I had known we had folks who know what real picante is supposed to taste like.

hmm. Don't want this to look like I am just post whoring....

Number Four
My goodness he sure posts a lot.
what mighty fingers he has got.
to read each line would be absurd.
Perhaps just every other word.
His five or more posts every day
blows my point one five posts away.
In thirty-six years, if I'm right,
I'll reach 2000: post whore might.

dominicfoundthemooon
03-04-2009, 04:35 PM
Enter Number 6 (i think) the posting.. by DominicFoundTheMoon

russ is a post whore
lost in shadows of ukuleles both bought and sold
the white dog sits and watches... he watches... he watches
and russ plays with four strings with one hand...
and with the other he lets his fingers hit the keys
another day another post another way to die
from uu to utube to u bet ya... he is back and forth like wind
making a ruckes that russ.. the posting whore...

d

smgold101
03-04-2009, 08:05 PM
Dont Stop Posting

Just a posting whore
Living at your computer now thats hardcore
You posted your way to be a Uke Hero

Started off really low
But man those posts they really grow
You posted your way to be a Uke Hero

Just sitting in your computer room
With your hands a typing you just couldnt lose
For a poster you don't share the forums
you post on and on and on and on

Post whore answering
everything single thread you see
You stay up posting throughout the night
Other members, cant even start to compare
Im only in double digits not even close

Postin Hard to get where your at
2000 now that aint bad
Would respond to anything
To get that number up
Who needs sleep? who needs work?
Postings more important then being an IT clerk
yeah your fingers they just never stop
they post on and on and on and on

Don't stop Posting
Till you are number one, yeah
Your a Post whore, But we love you soooo!

Don't stop Posting
Till you are number one, yeah
Your a Post whore, But we love you soooo!

smgold101
03-04-2009, 08:44 PM
Roses are red
My fluke is blue
Okay i really dont own a fluke
But i dont own an Ohana too :)


im sorry for all these posts...i dont know why i enjoy this so much haha

casetone2514
03-04-2009, 08:50 PM
A post-modern Limerick

There was a young man from CA
Who played ukulele quite well
He posted a lot
On the Underground Boards
(you said that these don't need to rhyme)

Tony

casetone2514
03-04-2009, 08:52 PM
Noses are flesh
Ukuleles are wooden
I tried to make this relevant
Then realised I couldn'(t)

cashew
03-04-2009, 09:19 PM
Haiku is the game
Ukulele Underground
Post too much; Go out.

Ukulele played well
Sweet strains of a summer breeze
Warms the coldest heart

Sweet sounds drifting by
Sunshine tickling my ears
Time to go out, play.

You are a post whore
Numbers rising like the tide
Two-Thousand Posts strong.

Enough poetry
Time to sleep until the dawn
More Haiku later.

commandercup
03-05-2009, 01:35 AM
do we have to number our entries!?

deach
03-05-2009, 01:39 AM
do we have to number our entries!?

No, but it would make things easier.

dominicfoundthemooon
03-05-2009, 03:05 AM
Entry #5 <--(on the last one I put 6.. but it was number 5.. so I am calling this 5 while it might look like 6.. and then next one will be 7)

I got 2 ukuleles but a soprano aint one By DominicFoundTheMoon


I've got two ukuleles and a soprano aint one..

looking around at all the UU folks
I see they gots ukes galore ukes are dope
my money is low.. no UAS for me
and no matter how hard i beg poor I be
I went to school for 10 years to become a broke teacher
When I could have skiped it all to become a corrupt preacher

I've got two ukuleles and a soprano aint one..

along comes a contest called the post whore
giving me a chance to add one more
get me well on my way to some UAS
and do it with style and not much stress
russ is now a hero and I am now the whore
posting poem after poem to try to get more...

ukuleles.... yeah... hit me one time..

I've got two ukuleles and a soprano aint one..

I've got two ukuleles and a soprano aint one..

I've got two ukuleles and a soprano aint one..

I've got two ukuleles and a soprano aint one..

Hit me two times...

if I can't win the uke maybe i'll get a hoody
if i can't win the uke a shirt should would be
nice....

but remember...

I've got two ukuleles and a soprano aint one..

(FADE TO BLACK)

remember that song.. i got 99 problems.. but a... well that was my inspiration...

peace out..

dominicfoundthemooon
03-05-2009, 03:16 AM
Entry #7 MY FLEA (in a post whore poem) by DominicFoundTheMoon



I am now a
Post Whore Just Li
ke all the rest putting (.) (.)
up poems trying to pass a test seeing if i can make
this one look like my flea hoping that russ buss willl
take a closer look at me and maybe he will see i a
m just a post who (.) (.)
re too yeah !

okay.. this looked way better when i typed it before i hit the post button.. now it just looks like a blob.. maybe someone can tell me what i did wrong.. or just use your imagination?

so yes... this takes on more of the shape of a banjo uke.. but i just had to try.. i sort of found this one fun! hope ya likes!

THANKS!! IT WORKED>> SORT OF!!

dominicfoundthemooon
03-05-2009, 03:28 AM
Entry #8 Lost in Translation.. Yet Again By DominicFoundTheMoon

Post: you put it in the ground so boundrys can be found, it does not come before but it comes way after, and you pour milk on it and it can taste quite nice..

Whore: you can do it for money.. sell it but you still have it... you can be one in the streets or in your daily life.. the term has spread it wings to mean so many things... Whore... Hooker... Slut... Tramp... doing things in excess.. doing things in excess..

Johnny get your ass out there and put up the posts on the back 40, and make sure you do it post plotting out the boundary.. put so many in the ground so we can keep people off our land... so we can make more money.. so we can whore our farm out for the dollar.. so your mom can stop selling her tail on 5th street... so you can stop being a whore for attention in school...

Lets get them post ups... post to stop whoring.. post-test, postpartum. posterized.. post flakes.. whore hooker slut tramp.. lady and the tramp.. for real.. Disney would call him a tram.. that is not political correct.. but then again.. when has Disney ever been.. when have they ever been..

dominicfoundthemooon
03-05-2009, 03:36 AM
Entry #9 POSTWHORE (CINQUAINS) with a short definition of CINQUAINS
By DominicFoundTheMoon


Postwhore
Frantic Obsessed
Fingers Type Fast
Love to Express Feelings
Postwhore


ABOUT CINQUAINS

Perhaps as early as in 1909, the shy and sensitive Adelaide Crapsy had read A Hundred Verses from Old Japan, William N. Porter's translations of the Hyakunin Isshu anthology and From the Eastern Sea by Yone Nogushis. In Adelaide's notebook she lists eleven tanka and eight haiku she had translated from Antholgie de la littérature japonaise des origines au XX siécle from Marcel Revon. So influenced, she developed her own poetic system which she then called cinquain.

These short, unrhymed poems consisting of twenty-two syllables distributed as 2, 4, 6, 8, 2, in five lines were related to but not copied from Japanese literary styles. Though she devised this form in 1909 - 1910, most of the fifteen poems she saved were written between 1911 and 1914. An early death at 37 from tuberculosis prevented her from exploring the genre further.

Published posthumously, in 1915, with her other works as The Complete Poems, cinquains came to be well-known only through the efforts of Carl Sandburg in his anthology, Cornhuskers, 1918 and Louis Utermeyer's Modern American Poetry, 1919. The most famous of the few Crapsy cinquains from her The Complete Poems is:

TRIAD

These be
Three silent things:
The falling snow... the hour
Before the dawn... the mouth of one
Just dead.

Cinquains, though they have never become very popular, have always attracted a number of poets who are still developing the form.

(notes taken from Those Women Writing Haiku by Jane Reichhold)

Class Dismissed.. Jk JK

dominicfoundthemooon
03-05-2009, 03:40 AM
Entry #10 Post Whore Epitaph By DominicFoundTheMoon (pointing out that my entry #10 is on page number 10.. fate.. maybe.. just maybe..)

Here lies postwhore
He typed until his fingers fell off
No words
No posts... anymore..

RIP

Yopparai
03-05-2009, 03:43 AM
Try using the code block to
preserve your
spac ing

#5

I try to read all of his posts
I like them, so I figure
While others fail his fame to boast,
I'm just a Post ho' digger.

dominicfoundthemooon
03-05-2009, 03:57 AM
Try using the code block to
preserve your
spac ing

#5

I try to read all of his posts
I like them, so I figure
While others fail his fame to boast,
I'm just a Post ho' digger.

thank you thank you!!

dominicfoundthemooon
03-05-2009, 03:59 AM
Entry #11 Poem in Photos By DominicFoundTheMoon

Fodslad
03-05-2009, 04:59 AM
(This poem is a Russ Buss reaction to a Troll)

I see the words I don't know why,
I feel compelled to hit reply,
his banter pointless and somewhat droll,
it is obvious the above poster is a troll,
set on making our community aghast,
this old post whore will set him right; and fast,
how dare you slander our beloved uke,
have you ever even played one you little puke!
So spew your crap no never more,
Or feel the wrath of the old post whore.

PaulGeo
03-05-2009, 06:36 AM
Listened to "Cowboy" by Kid Rock this morning and was inspired :D

Well, I'm headed to the forum to check on new post
where people ask questions and wonder if they should host
a new contest or two and give away things
I need to reply to all to get up my blings

'cause I wanna be a Post Whore baby
with the keyboard cliking and the reply button blinking
Post Whore Baby
Underground chillin' with the Deach man
I wanna be a Post Whore baby
writing at night and writing all day
Post Whore Baby
I can smell a new post from a mile away

Yeah.. I'm Russ Buss and don't try to stop
All I need is another click to make it to the top
I can drive down UU boulevard in my Vette
while others admire my work on the fret

'cause I wanna be a Post Whore baby
with the keyboard cliking and the reply button blinking
Post Whore Baby
Underground chillin' with the Deach man
I wanna be a Post Whore baby
writing at night and writing all day
Post Whore Baby
I can smell a new post from a mile away

I'm gonna put out the fire on by board
from all the lightning fast typing like a Lord
of Ukulele Underground where people worship my line
They wanna be like me cause I got a cool canine

'cause I wanna be a Post Whore baby
with the keyboard cliking and the reply button blinking
Post Whore Baby
Underground chillin' with the Deach man
I wanna be a Post Whore baby
writing at night and writing all day
Post Whore Baby
I can smell a new post from a mile away

geoffsuke
03-05-2009, 06:57 AM
posting is like being a whore.
First you do it for love,
and then for a few close friends,
and then for THE SAKE OF GETTING MORE POSTS..... WHORE!!!!

posting is like being a whore.
The first might endanger the morals of THE WHOLE OF UU, mwahaha:eek:
the former invariably endangers the morals of ... erm ... you??

“I'm just a musical prostitute, my dear.” - freddie mercury

smgold101
03-05-2009, 08:19 AM
PostWhore

(I need to set a picture in your head) Our rights have been taken away and we are no longer allowed to post. All of Ukulele Underground has been called to the top of a hill for a last stand. While all feeling deterred, Thats when RussBuss riding a noble steed gallops up, face painted with blue,Laptop Strapped to his back.
And in a Scottish accent.

Sons of Ukulele Underground, I am RussBuss The Post Whore!

RussBuss the Post Whore has posts that would be 7 feet tall!

Yes, I've heard. He posts daily by the hundreds, and if he were here he'd Post this forum with fireballs from his hands and lightning from his fingertips! I am RussBuss The post whore, and i see a whole Army of UU members here in defiance of tyranny. You have come to post as free UU members, and free UU members you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you Post?

Post against that?! No, we will run, and we will live.

Aye, Post and you may die, Run and you'll live. At least a while. And dying in your computer chairs many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, BUT THEY'LL NEVER TAKE OUR POSTING FREEDOM!

AYYYYYY!! AYYYYYYYYYYYY!!

-The Great Russ Buss the Post Whore.


(Braveheart, Author Randall Wallace)

dominicfoundthemooon
03-05-2009, 08:26 AM
Entry #12

Poster Child For Post Whoring by DominicFoundTheMoon

Get your macbook out... get your pc out...
With the dog at your feet... and your ways that repeat...
With your snowball on tight... and custom ukulele thats out of sight...
With that Uke in your lap... let your fingers to the key tap

Ride that net hard... coyboy hat on your head..
Give tons of shout outs... with each post you are fead
Holler at loud... when you hit that 2- "o" "o" "o"
And then make as all post whores... as we put on a show...

(Russ looks over the posts... and stays... "DANCE FOR YOUR PRIZE PUPPETS.. DANCE... )

dominicfoundthemooon
03-05-2009, 08:29 AM
Silence by DominicFoundTheMoon

(..........)*



*This poem is the lack of a poem.. the post whore driven to slice from so many post.. no sounds... not a word.. just dead empty air... no nothing..

kieranttt
03-05-2009, 08:31 AM
ukulele hero or ukulele whore
either one you will be forever more
when my paml touches uke its beauty for sure
boredom is the problem but posting is the cure
knowledge passing
helpful thread starting




hope i win thanks :)

smgold101
03-05-2009, 08:37 AM
Entry #12

(Russ looks over the posts... and stays... "DANCE FOR YOUR PRIZE PUPPETS.. DANCE... )

This right here shoulda been one of ur poems haha it was so funny...and true lol

dominicfoundthemooon
03-05-2009, 08:41 AM
This right here shoulda been one of ur poems haha it was so funny...and true lol

okay...

Entry #15 Dance by DominicFoundTheMoon

Russ looks over the posts...

and stays...

"DANCE FOR YOUR PRIZE PUPPETS.. DANCE..."

spazus_maximus
03-05-2009, 08:45 AM
dominicfoundthemoon you must really love breath mints!...either that or your planning a trip to the nudie bar...:D

dominicfoundthemooon
03-05-2009, 08:47 AM
dominicfoundthemoon you must really love breath mints!...either that or your planning a trip to the nudie bar...:D

well i do love them.. and no nudie bar for me.... but.. if you look back you will see this contest has some real gems as prizes.. REAL gems..

any of the three would be fun to get.. and for a guy who bank is sitting in the negative.. i could use something fun like this!!

i think the mints are for the 60s contest..

russ_buss
03-05-2009, 09:01 AM
okay...

Entry #15 Dance by DominicFoundTheMoon

Russ looks over the posts...

and stays...

"DANCE FOR YOUR PRIZE PUPPETS.. DANCE..."

haha, i'm not that evil. (lies)

keep up the great entries guys. this is going to make one hell of a book.:shaka:

spazus_maximus
03-05-2009, 09:18 AM
well i do love them.. and no nudie bar for me.... but.. if you look back you will see this contest has some real gems as prizes.. REAL gems..

any of the three would be fun to get.. and for a guy who bank is sitting in the negative.. i could use something fun like this!!

i think the mints are for the 60s contest..

You are correct....my head doesnt work as it should sometimes....

I know the negative feeling & that's when a new uke is needed most
good luck bro....

dominicfoundthemooon
03-05-2009, 09:21 AM
You are correct....my head doesnt work as it should sometimes....

I know the negative feeling & that's when a new uke is needed most
good luck bro....

thanks man... i might have to hit this place well call the PLAZA that is right down the street.. lots of shops and such.. i can pull in about 20 dollars an hour on a "nice weather saturday" depending on the people.. sometimes i just sit with the guitar case open.. and make up songs while people walk by!! i have even had a high school student of mine throw in a dollar!!

smgold101
03-05-2009, 10:04 AM
3,2,1 POST!

Why so many
Who will
Know
But it seems
They only
Grow

One would think
its only
right
We must recognize
His great
insight

He only Helps
Thats for
Sure
Unless hes responding
About I'm
Yours

It Isnt that
He doesnt
Care
But only cuase
its past
repair

Ask him anything
That'd you
Like
And he'll respond
after his
Hike

He cannot tell
Why you
Think
He only post
Man He
Stink

He does plenty
Of other
Stuff
Like lifting weights
and getting
Buff

I won't lie
He posts
lost
Better then being
Some dumb
Bigot

You can make
A funny
Joke
But just remember
His posts
Evoke

He is a
Post Whore
see
Something You cant
Take from
He

khrome
03-05-2009, 01:22 PM
This is Entry #3 - a Puzzle Poem, in the style of Lewis Carroll. The answer is on my profile in the Visitor's Messages


I've often wondered
what a post whore had most
the number of ukes or
the number of posts?

Perhaps you can help me
with one certain member
find how many ukes
he has by these numbers

Seven of the ukes have thirteen frets
Six of the ukes have four strings, no less
Seventeen frets hath two of the ukes
While ukes with eight strings are numbering two
One uke, sadly, has no strings at all
Since it's being repaired predating a fall

Clue: The answer is not 18

UkEdman90
03-05-2009, 02:32 PM
Heres mine
first of many to come!


Title:Realization

She sits and waits,
For one to many debates.
She waits and listens,
for her eyes glisten,
She reads with anticipation,
and wanders with imagination.

Words soon follow,
For she cannot wallow.

She is a Post Whore,
One who is no more,
She reaches the top,
Only to be a flop,

But what is she?
This post whore?
A UKULELE HERO!
That Is what!
BUT WAIT THIS IS NO SHE!

This post whore would be,
The one and only He,
Russ Buss!


-Don Hampton

I hope i win!

100percenthapa
03-05-2009, 03:42 PM
1st submission:
A Haiku

The Post Whore....

On the Underground
He posts every night and day
His fingers are sore

2nd Submission:

The Post Whore.....or UKULELE HERO!

He who posts night and day
submitting uke content in every way
Be it pictures or words
and some info on strings
He doesn't answer his phone when it rings
He is too busy being a post whore
No, he can't find the Underground a bore
So rock on my posting friend
I think you may have started a new trend


Anyway there they are. :rock: I don't think they're any good (feel free to disagree :D jkjk)
And finally GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!:D :shaka:

sukie
03-05-2009, 04:02 PM
1st submission:
A Haiku

The Post Whore....

On the Underground
He posts every night and day
His fingers are sore



Says it all. Very well done. Good luck on your entry.

smgold101
03-05-2009, 05:41 PM
Goodbye my Friend

Goodbye my tIny friend, your time has come
I've put a price on your head, of a great poem
We had lots of fun, with tear in my beer
I wish we could have more, in the future years
But that can not be, for you soon wont be mine
I've started a contest, You've been put on the line
To the winner you shall go my tiny fine uke
The thought of leaving you is sad, it makes me puke
But it must be done for I have achieved
The status of post whore, thats what it's called I believe
I've posted and posted until my fingers bled
Finally reached 2000 with that very last thread
So now the time is come, with my brand new name
To give you to the winner, in which I shall proclaim
But I will never forget you, please don't forget me
I'll make sure your new owner loves you and keeps you well thats a guarantee

UkuleleD
03-05-2009, 06:37 PM
Here is my entries:

Post Whore please remind me
of the blood of all our kin.
Each of us has feelings
that reflect the joy within.

Post Whore please remind me
of each Sacred Point of View,
Complete within the circle
of the Sacred Hoop.

------------------------------------------------------------

Post Whores gathered
The fire of wisdom's light
Words...
Decisions...
Conclusions... all throughout the night

----------------------------------------------

Post Whore caries my grief,
And gives me strength to go on.
Post Whore reminds me not to take
My burdens to other's homes.
Post Whore sings to me,
When the winter is long,
Reminding me of summer's heat,
Bringing warmth to ancient bones.

BboyEmperor
03-05-2009, 06:42 PM
Entry #1

Who you are,
is what you get.
How you get there,
is all on you.

You sit around,
and do one thing.
Maybe two things,
if you're lucky.

When you're not sitting down,
making a song,
playing that thing.
You're still sitting down,
or in some cases standing up,
doing nothing more,
then be a post whore.


Entry #2, maybe a bit more serious? Hahahhaa.


I see you.
Sitting there, waiting.
Waiting to be touched.
That one touch, that will send me away.

Away to a new place,
is where I'll go.
Don't worry,
I'll be back,
to touch you some more.

What am I touching?
This strange little button.
This button called post,
"Post Reply"
I cannot deny.

I'm in love with you.
You are my favorite thing.
Number 1 in my life.

You're like a habit, but better.
Lets call it a hobby.
Because I get enjoyment out of it.


Entry #3, attempting to rhyme.


So we meet once more,
because you are what I adore.
I've come to you right now.

I just don't understand how.
How I always come back.
And watch my post count stack.
I have to click it,
If I don't I'll get cited for a ticket.
or at least that's how i think.
If you were real I'd take you to a roller rink.

A place where all the spammers meet.
They write down their post count on one sheet.
To compare and laugh about who has more,
or who really is the post whore.

I've joined the group of Gods,
With more posts then the mods,
I wonder how much further I can go,
because I think my fingers are about to blow!
Too much typing, too many replies.
I'll post even after this site dies.
I doubt it dying anywhere close to now,
because all I have to do is spam that cow!


Yeah, I think all 3 are lame. I could do better. xD

Congrats on Ukulele Hero :D

dominicfoundthemooon
03-06-2009, 06:50 AM
Entry #16 Lost by DominicFoundTheMoon

It is dark out my window -- all of the people have shut their eyes
The world is cold -- i cower in the shadow of night... nothing... needing... night

My wood as become dry -- my strings are broken bits bound by betrayals
My constant friend and companion -- lays silent on the floor

so i reach out, up, and onto plastic keys that connect me to smiles from miles
i post there for i am... there for i am... connected.. to a world of people

don't call me a whore -- i just need a smile -- here i am not lost -- here
i smile

Fodslad
03-07-2009, 04:29 AM
Little Miss Muffet,
Sat on a tuffet,
With her laptop on a forum she did post,
Along came a spider,
and sat down beside her,
and kicked her right in the crotch and said,
"that's what you deserve you filthy post whore.....OOOOOOHHHHHHH!"

hoosierhiver
03-07-2009, 05:50 AM
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Russ is a post whore,
here on UU!

DanaC
03-07-2009, 06:29 AM
A second entry... maybeee?

Some post sparingly
Some post lots
Some post easily
Some cook in pots

Limerick? hahaha

Slick
03-07-2009, 07:27 AM
The post whore stays up every night
pounding keys with all his might.

All this typing makes fingers strong
You should hear him hammer-on.

dominicfoundthemooon
03-09-2009, 08:02 AM
Entry #17 Lessons From School by Dominic Found The Moon

Post Whore
Didn't you watch the after school show
Didn't your 7th grade gym teacher let you know
Trying to win friends by posting and whoring
only gets you a bad reputation
or worse...
a PSD (post transmitted disease) (see deach)
you could end up with a unwanted post baby
So them in your pocket
And if you get board play with your rocket

1014
03-09-2009, 08:08 AM
russ_buss, the rain drop
nourish the stretching webbed roots
knowledge digital.

dominicfoundthemooon
03-09-2009, 08:09 AM
POST WHORE--- you keep running and posting and posting and running not knowing what you are running from with your fingers on the keys and your mind down on tis knees you run you jump form page to page and act as a uke sage but you can only stop for breath for moments At the end and how will you defend yourself from the onslaught of words that fall from the sky and land on a heart broken with limbs and trees bent into shapes that make sounds and things that touch the ground and walk walk walk all around but you keep on posting until you days are done.. post whore post whore post whore..


n., pl. streams of consciousness.

1. A literary technique that presents the thoughts and feelings of a character as they occur.
2. Psychology. The conscious experience of an individual regarded as a continuous, flowing series of images and ideas running through the min

dominicfoundthemooon
03-09-2009, 08:13 AM
Entry #19 The Lotto

with so many poems in the PWC (post whore contest)
its kind of hard being one of many just me
but i some how some way keep coming up with
stupid A%^ S*&T like every single day
so may i kick a few ukes as a breeze though....

Just one... Like of Like the Lotto.. But my dad always said.. if you wanna win you gotta play son.. you gotta play...

**in all fairness snoop dog helped me with this one.. he is nice and knows how to make good hamburgers..

UKISOCIETY
03-09-2009, 08:49 AM
Post! Post! Post!
Try and post the most!

dominicfoundthemooon
03-09-2009, 08:53 AM
Post! Post! Post!
Try and post the most!

i think you pegged me Alan!! red handed..

krabbers
03-09-2009, 09:44 AM
This is a toast
to your 2000th post
on ukulele underground

that sure is a lot
but i'm sure you have got
more things to share not yet found

for a boy from the bay
you have plenty to say
about the things that you hate and adore

but take it from us
and in a good way russ
you sure have become a post whore

UKISOCIETY
03-09-2009, 09:48 AM
i think you pegged me Alan!! red handed..

What? That's my entry!!

dominicfoundthemooon
03-09-2009, 09:48 AM
This is a toast
to your 2000th post
on ukulele underground

that sure is a lot
but i'm sure you have got
more things to share not yet found

for a boy from the bay
you have plenty to say
about the things that you hate and adore

but take it from us
and in a good way russ
you sure have become a post whore

nice one krabbers nice one!! that is two contests entries in a few hours.. maybe you can do a 60's one real fast and a outside one.. and bang.. 4 in one day!! you are the man!!! still working on redemption song..

dominicfoundthemooon
03-09-2009, 09:54 AM
What? That's my entry!!

good post.. after looking back at how many i have had in the mix i am doing just that... post post post!

mctrmt
03-11-2009, 11:19 AM
From me, something a little e.e. cummings:


t
he(eve
nt
oh
imself)p
ostwhorereplies

100percenthapa
03-11-2009, 01:14 PM
Says it all. Very well done. Good luck on your entry.

Thank you!!!!:D:D If you entered good luck!!!!!!:D

(sorry I didn't look through 11+ pages to see if you posted):p

UkEdman90
03-11-2009, 02:28 PM
my second entry



Title: What Whore?

Remember when,
Unimaginable from then,
Someone could win,
Simply from him.

Because of This
Understanding, no one miss,
Stupendous words,
Submitted by those.

Remember his name,
On this occasional game.
Cautiously wondering,
Knowing no shame.
So Thanks Russ Buss for this wonderful game!



Hey russ thanks again bro for all the joy you bring to UU! ROCK ON YOU POST WHORE! haha

Ahnko Honu
03-11-2009, 02:31 PM
My limerick entry:

There once was a guy from the Bay
A rare one who isn't so gay
he'd be strumming his uke
til he wanted to puke
then he'd post about it all the next day

My Haiku entries:

Tapping on the keys
Strumming on his custom Fluke
Two things he can't stop

Strumming by the Bay
Posting into the wee hours
Russ go get some sleep

Ukulele man
How many post makes a whore
Main thing you have fun

Haiku for me:

A poet i'm not
I can count five seven five
Won't quit my day job

smgold101
03-11-2009, 06:55 PM
Post Whore Haiku

You hear Russ's tale?
Typed till his fingers turned frail!
Post Whore should be Jailed!

vialde
03-12-2009, 06:52 AM
He's a post whore,

Yes, it's true,

He's a post whore,

How 'bout you?

DanaC
03-12-2009, 09:56 AM
Oooo, I'm kind of proud of this one... it's about the journey of someone who is addicted to message boards.

Words I can't formulate in my head
I think and think and my mind goes dead
I post to write it down
I post to hear that clicking sound

I can't stop my mind until it goes blank
The page is full and my mind goes dank
I need to post so I can breathe
This heavy burden on my chest will leave

Late at night my mind won't stop
I type and let my fingers pop
Posting something fills this space
My heart is pounding like in a race

Posting what I can't verbalize
Clicking away until I realize
I have to post more and more
Simply because I am a post whore

smgold101
03-12-2009, 01:03 PM
Long Haiku- Russ the Post Whore.

Strings or keys who cares
Ukulele or keyboard
Aren't they the same?

They Aren't the same?!
Posting isn't Uke Practice?!
What a waste of time...

At least I've helped lots
Guess my posts weren't useless
Just to me I guess

On the other hand
I am now a uke hero :cool:
WAIT and a post whore! :eek:

Ahnko Honu
03-12-2009, 01:20 PM
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Russ is a post whore
but so are you.

Ahnko Honu
03-12-2009, 01:22 PM
Roses are red
Ukuleles are brown
Russ is a post whore
but also a clown (in the most positive connotation of that word ;) )

russ_buss
03-12-2009, 01:26 PM
ouch, haha! thanks for all the great entries guys.:cheers:

Ahnko Honu
03-12-2009, 01:29 PM
Sung to "You are my Sunshine"

Russ is a post whore
A freakin' post whore
He'll still be posting when he turns gray
I never noticed how much you posted
Russ you post whore don't go away

The other night Russ
As I was strummin'
I thought I heard you in my home
But when I looked close
you were on YouTube
Russ you're also a YouTubin' whore

Russ is a post whore
A freakin' post whore
He'll still be posting when he turns gray
I never noticed how much you posted
Russ you post whore don't go away

You told me once Russ,
you stopped your whorin'
That you had given up the keys
But now you past post two thousand thirty
Please give up your post whorin' ways

Russ is a post whore
A freakin' post whore
He'll still be posting when he turns gray
I never noticed how much you posted
Russ you post whore don't go away

We like the way you
strum ukulele
we even like the way you sing
But if you take time to stop you whorin'
You'd be able to play like John King

Russ is a post whore
A freakin' post whore
He'll still be posting when he turns gray
I never noticed how much you posted
Russ you post whore don't go away

Jimmy
03-12-2009, 01:42 PM
We know Russ is a post whore,
But what would we do if he didn't frequent?
I'd probably end up bad to the core,
A dirty wee dilinquent.

---

Haiku Time

Russ is a post whore.
Yes, he spams a whole dang lot.
Refridgerator.

carpekd
03-12-2009, 02:23 PM
Sung to an early 90's rap beat:

RUSS
RUSS
RUSS
RUSS

RUSS Buss,
A posting whore.
Gonna type and strum
'til he hits the floor.

Don't Trust,
if you want to live.
That posting whore
says he wants to give.

You Must,
get on your knees.
If you wanna win him over
say pretty, pretty please.

Now Bust,
a move like a poet.
Rock a poem for the whore
and make him know it.

THEY
THEY
THEY
THEY

THEY Know,
he posts around.
Then strums his uke
just to hear the sound.

No Show,
After you reply him back
in an all night post session
typing from the sack.

Oh No!,
I can hear it now
the whore's keyboard
singing click, clack, pow.

One Mo',
victim to the whore.
Replied to him once
and now he wants more

LET'S
LET'S
LET'S
LET'S

LET'S Dance,
and sing a song
with the tiny little uke
that i've wanted for so long

Slight Chance,
you might impress him.
But since your not a post whore,
your chances look dim.

Romance,
Ain't what he needs.
Posts and replies
is how he feeds.

Enhance,
your posting score.
Drop a line or a letter
to the posting whore.



:shaka:

UkEdman90
03-12-2009, 02:40 PM
ouch, haha! thanks for all the great entries guys.:cheers:

im tryna keep my entries to a minimum. i feel to many would ruin my chances :(


hey russ quick question for joo....


how are you going to decide on who wins?? this is going to be tough for you bro! there are soooo many great entries!

purplemonkeylounge
03-13-2009, 03:02 AM
Somewhere near a fishy wharf, a little doggie plays.
Not fetch, or catch, or pull the rope, ever enters in his days.
His bite has never snatched a Frisbee flying through the air,
Or enjoyed the taste of biting down on a postman’s derriere.
He’s forced to sit day in day out and play a little uke.
He does his best with tiny claws to strum and chuck and jook.
His master is the master of the Ukulele post,
A whore he’s called of posting posts, of posts he is engrossed.
So he makes his doggie play, ‘cus for him it’s too much trouble.
Aloha Oe, Billy Jean and even Tiny Bubbles.
Scolded by the Master, “you call that playing dog?”
“I should have got a chuckin’ pet, that’s a uke and not a log!”
His little doggie fingers find it hard to tune the thing,
Stretching, strumming, chuckin, are loosing looser strings.
And the little puppy knows it, cus he’s blessed with perfect pitch,
His doggie paws can’t turn the pegs, sometimes life is a bitch.


by Jon

purplemonkeylounge
03-13-2009, 03:17 AM
And yes, I know it was last year, but that dog needed a poem.

Be good,
Jon

dominicfoundthemooon
03-13-2009, 03:30 AM
Entry #20 Girlfriend By DominicFoundTheMoon

I keep watching that little number
Rise up and up and up

I sleep with my computer net to my bed
My girlfriend is getting fed up

She asks me why I have to watch my gmail
The whole entire night though

Just to see if I got any responses
From the people on the UU

She makes me take of my UU shirt
because she said 5 days makes it unclean

I say it just makes it vintage
I am not sure she gets what I mean

Last night I was posting at midnight
She walked off and slammed the door

And as she made her way down to hall way
I heard her cry out post whore!!

(this is kind of a true story! all but the walking out part! as of late it seems i have spent a little too much time on the UU as my GF has become a little pissy with me.. i say.. what some guys watch football all night.. i look at UU and youtube.. and she said.. THATS NO BETTER.. and well.. thats just not true.. i feel that it is better.. but... i do love her.. so last night.. it was all about her! but she did make me take off my green uu shirt.. she said i had it on 3 days to many.. so maybe if i win a new shirt.. i can alternate) <-- this is all oh so very true!! and maybe TMI..

dominicfoundthemooon
03-13-2009, 03:37 AM
im tryna keep my entries to a minimum. i feel to many would ruin my chances :(

i thought of that logic.. maybe by posting so many.. i am just a big post whore myself.. and thus loose.. but since i am not used to winning.. at least not thus far in my life.. i am okay with loosing.. thus i shall post any and every little poem that comes in my head!! i am sure russ buss will love me anyway.. even if all of my poems suck.. he still loves deach and you have seen that guy right!

casetone2514
03-13-2009, 03:38 AM
Roses are (sometimes) red
violets are purple
Russ is a post whore
and...
..Damn - that's why they say they're blue! Nothing rhymes with purple!

Roses are red (sometimes)
Violets are violet (ha-haaa! Got it!)
Russ is a post whore
but not a jet pilot. (At least I don't think so. If you are a licenced jet fighter or passenger liner pilot, Russ, ignore this post)

This is harder than you think, isn't it?

deach
03-13-2009, 03:48 AM
i thought of that logic.. maybe by posting so many.. i am just a big post whore myself.. and thus loose.. but since i am not used to winning.. at least not thus far in my life.. i am okay with loosing.. thus i shall post any and every little poem that comes in my head!! i am sure russ buss will love me anyway.. even if all of my poems suck.. he still loves deach and you have seen that guy right!

I pay him to love me...love me long time.

and shame on you for being a teacher and using "loose" instead of "lose".

Yopparai
03-13-2009, 04:09 AM
One post,
Two posts,
Three posts,
Four
Then there's five posts, He's UU's very own post whore.

Then post six

Here's post seven, If he'd go out, he'd meet some chicks.
posts eight,
Nine,
Ten
Short post, Don't stop now, just start again.
Long post,
Vid post,
Song Post
Comments, You must admit he's raised the bar,
Contests, Say, what a lot of posts there are.
Advice and
Lore,
He is the very model of our favorite
Post Whore.

Yopparai
03-13-2009, 04:11 AM
I pay him to love me...love me long time.

and shame on you for being a teacher and using "loose" instead of "lose".
No, no, Deach. I think he meant that he is loose. um.. With his posts, that is.

purplemonkeylounge
03-13-2009, 04:29 AM
I read your join date, which happened to be March '08 and jumped to the wrong conclusion. So, accept my submission.

xxoo,
Jon


And yes, I know it was last year, but that dog needed a poem.

Be good,
Jon

vahn
03-13-2009, 05:04 AM
Forum Whore Haiku:

Waiting for Response
Forum whore hits f5 key
Refresh, Refresh, whore.

russ_buss
03-13-2009, 05:55 AM
im tryna keep my entries to a minimum. i feel to many would ruin my chances :(


hey russ quick question for joo....


how are you going to decide on who wins?? this is going to be tough for you bro! there are soooo many great entries!

i'm going to print out this whole thread on a dot matrix printer and pray to jah that the paper doesn't jam. i will then lock myself in the bathroom with a gallon of gatorade, a box of teddy grahams, and some trucker strength no-doz, then proceed to read like the wind.

the poems will be judged by creativity and ability to invoke a smile. i will also consult with my co-judge(s).

thanks for all the entries people!:)

carpekd
03-13-2009, 06:10 AM
[QUOTE=casetone2514;105277]
and...
..Damn - that's why they say they're blue! Nothing rhymes with purple!
QUOTE]


What about nurple? lol

Yopparai
03-13-2009, 06:12 AM
Slurge-pool is pretty close. "Slurge" being what we call that goopy clumpy stuff that builds up in your crank case, just before your car's engine goes all knocky and explodes.

Roses are red
Violets are purple
I'd rather be posting than
stuck in a slurge-pool.

jermlilly
03-13-2009, 06:47 AM
When I hear the sounds of your uke
It makes me want to puke
Most people named their's
Ever thought about pukulele
Each note you strumm
Could piss off some bum
The notes you play
Might turn me gay
You think you got the funk
But you can't even chunk you punk
You play the scale
From uku got mail
Aldrine's
A dream
and Rayan
is Flyin'
But when you play
Its a bore
So at the end of the day
You're still just a post-whore

krabbers
03-13-2009, 07:00 AM
the post whore said
open the door of purple
arrrrgh push,

grrrr pull

noises will not
unlock a door
if the key is held
by a post whore

jermlilly
03-13-2009, 07:02 AM
If a guitar is an ax
Then my uke is my hatchet
So you'd better watch it
I'll throw a bash
I might invite Slash
Guitar hero?
Why not ukulele hero?

UkEdman90
03-13-2009, 07:42 AM
i'm going to print out this whole thread on a dot matrix printer and pray to jah that the paper doesn't jam. i will then lock myself in the bathroom with a gallon of gatorade, a box of teddy grahams, and some trucker strength no-doz, ...

don't forget some bread and mayo bro! its a must for all this seasons bathroom reading needs!

deach
03-13-2009, 07:54 AM
When I hear the sounds of your uke
It makes me want to puke
Most people named their's
Ever thought about pukulele
Each note you strumm
Could piss off some bum
The notes you play
Might turn me gay
You think you got the funk
But you can't even chunk you punk
You play the scale
From uku got mail
Aldrine's
A dream
and Rayan
is Flyin'
But when you play
Its a bore
So at the end of the day
You're still just a post-whore


I like how you're not trying to hang off his nutsack to win the contest but your poem is pretty hateful and really says nothing about being a post whore.

jermlilly
03-13-2009, 08:01 AM
This was all in fun. It had nothing to do with him. It was just about a post-whore in general. It was not toward him. I've only played the thing for a few months now. I am sure he plays beautifully.

I was not hating him or anybody else! It was just a playful poem.

dominicfoundthemooon
03-13-2009, 08:33 AM
I like how you're not trying to hang off his nutsack to win the contest but your poem is pretty hateful and really says nothing about being a post whore.

ummmm if i have to hang of a nut sack to win deach.. well then i will hang.. plus whats wrong with nut sacks.. a lot of guys like them just fine! deach i am so disappointed in you.. :( <-- note playful sarcasm!

jermlilly
03-13-2009, 09:16 AM
"Hanging Off"

Russ Buss
Aint no fuss
You mean the world to us
We try to be nice
We try not to cus
You call yourself a post whore
But what for
Without you
We'd all feel blue
Now I'm hanging
I'll save you from my sanging
So I'll just flat out tell you
I've written a few
I wish we were kin
So that I might win!

dominicfoundthemooon
03-13-2009, 09:33 AM
Entry #21 PaPaPaPaPa Post Whore by DominicFoundTheMoon

I ran in the middle of the night to a location was was far from here
I saw what my heart and head needed to hear
While I ran as fast as I could I got lost along the way
But I sang myself home with my Ukulele

I ran to the keyboard to relate how I felt
I saw that someone else had posted and I melt
While I wanted to see what I had in store
But as last I would see I was just a PaPaPaPaPa Post Whore

khrome
03-13-2009, 09:37 AM
I'm loving reading everyone's poem. I'm definitely buying the book! If I ever meet any of you guys in person, it will be my autograph book. :D Russ, are you doing to use a site like Lulu so it can be nicely bound and stuff?

dominicfoundthemooon
03-13-2009, 09:41 AM
Entry #22 Typo or Dyslexia

I Figd it quet anyxing thkhat i hadfve isserues spixlign
byut it seiems thjst pekple cxzan stkll regad whjat i tyzxpe
my spolling is not gowding to stkxsp me frxom bing a poxst whozxre

** if any of you have read my posts or youtube typeings.. you might notice i am not that great a speller.. i do have dyslexia.. and i am also not so great at catching typos.. but i do have a masters in special education.. and its good to make light of it sometimes!! right!!

dominicfoundthemooon
03-13-2009, 09:42 AM
I'm loving reading everyone's poem. I'm definitely buying the book! If I ever meet any of you guys in person, it will be my autograph book. :D Russ, are you doing to use a site like Lulu so it can be nicely bound and stuff?

i will be glad to autograph anything you send my way khrome!! as long as i can get yours also!!! :shaka:

russ_buss
03-13-2009, 10:00 AM
I'm loving reading everyone's poem. I'm definitely buying the book! If I ever meet any of you guys in person, it will be my autograph book. :D Russ, are you doing to use a site like Lulu so it can be nicely bound and stuff?

yup, i'll make some copies for the winners and a few extra. i have the design in mind already.

UkEdman90
03-13-2009, 10:04 AM
yup, i'll make some copies for the winners and a few extra. i have the design in mind already.

oooh oooh sneaky peak please?

bt93
03-13-2009, 11:21 AM
here i sit just reading in dark
about the man who posted near 1 million times
he must have been as bored as noah, while sailing in his ark
thinking and creating so many rhymes
all entries said the same thing
about his precious uke, and their "little Fling"
this man is such a post whore,
he led all of the readers into a such deep snore
the truth is, nobody cared about what he had to say
he would sit on his computer and waste his whole day
this man tried to be the top poster and the be best
but stopped after someone told him he needed to give it a rest
now it is done and finshed, and this man has stopped his posting
now a new member is happy and boasting
They are the new number one

ps. while i was writing this poem i was wearing my Russ Buss shirt
and if i win the uke i will send russ one of these stylish shirts

haole
03-13-2009, 11:30 AM
Russ is our resident post-whore
He types 'til his fingers are all sore
He'd be as good as Aldrine or Deach
If someone would only teach
Him to post less and just freakin' play more.

<3

100percenthapa
03-13-2009, 01:07 PM
My third entry its another haiku

go to the link
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=2009031319052883


What teh ninja said:
Posting night and day
Wantin' to be a uke hero
He is the post whore

ONYX
03-13-2009, 10:58 PM
Plinky
Ovation
Sounds
Terriffic

When
Humans
Obtain
Reputible
E-chords

bt93
03-14-2009, 06:31 AM
his name is russ
he makes a fuss
about his number his number of posts
he thinks he is cool
the truth is, he really is a fool
no one else cares to be a top poster
so let him have his ten minutes of fame
because this is just a silly old game
so, go ahead russ and have a fuss
because you are the biggest post whore!

ps. while i was writing this poem i was wearing my Russ Buss shirt
and if i win the uke i will send russ one of these stylish shirts

bt93
03-14-2009, 05:03 PM
Russ

R-eplies to everything that members may say
U-nfortunately everything he says is such a bore
S-tays on the site twenty-four hours per day
S-trums until his fingers get sore



ps. while i was writing this poem i was wearing my Russ Buss shirt
and if i win the uke i will send russ one of these stylish shirts

JT_Ukes
03-14-2009, 06:08 PM
With apologies to Wm. Shakespeare

To post or not to post that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
the slings and arrows of the flamer
or to post convincing arguments against them
and by flaming, P0wning them. To lurk, to post
no more; and by posting, to say we whore.


O RussBuss, RussBuss wherefore art thou RussBuss
Deny thy flamers and Post thy thoughts
Or if thy wilt lurk, be but Deached my man,
And no longer a PostWhore be.


Post Damn Whore!


Alas, pore RussBuss! I knew him Deach, a fellow of infinite posts,
Of most excellent content. He hath entertained me with
thousands of Posts, and now how whorish in my imagination it is!
My gorge rises at it.

JT

bt93
03-15-2009, 08:26 AM
The Sopranino means so much to me
That I am willing to consider Russ Buss the Post whore in residency
I am willing to do whatever it takes
Including baking over 1 million cakes
All cakes would say Russ is the best
And his posing ability is nothing to test
He posts all day and night
Wishing and waiting for someone to fight
Not a fistfight bust rather a virtual one
and posting from darkness until the rise of the sun
His knowledge about the ukulele goes far beyond the sky
And the truth is that this uke is too expensive for me to buy
So don’t mess with Russ because he is number one
And trust me on that, it really wont be fun!!!

ps. while i was writing this poem i was wearing my Russ Buss shirt
and if i win the uke i will send russ one of these stylish shirts

100percenthapa
03-15-2009, 08:35 AM
I nominate brad32593 as the poem whore and bribe whore (i.e. his shirt that he will give to russ if he wins) :D

lol jk

bt93
03-15-2009, 09:07 AM
reply to 100percenthapa:
thanks lol, and im trying so hard to win because i dont have a uke right now because my crappy little guitar center 20$ one broke, and i dont have any money. secondly, this is my dream uke and i need to win so bad because i have been bored without a ukulele to play

UkEdman90
03-15-2009, 09:27 AM
reply to 100percenthapa:
thanks lol, and im trying so hard to win because i dont have a uke right now because my crappy little guitar center 20$ one broke, and i dont have any money to buy one because im in college and paying for school and rent. secondly, this is my dream uke and i need to win so bad because i have been bored without a ukulele to play

hey im broke to. im in college to. does this mean i win??


haha jkjk bro i like the shirt its koo but russ aint that fat FYI!

bt93
03-15-2009, 09:30 AM
lol i know but the guy on the shirt is a post whore too!

mshim
03-15-2009, 09:40 AM
**think of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air tune... it started that way then kinda shifted...

Now this is a story all about how,
I decided to run a contest for all you now,
It's gonna run for two weeks, so sit right there
it's all about me and my post whoring flare

in ukulele underground forums i was made
the king of all post but i was never paid
strumming, and picking, and tabbing away
and of course posting and posting to get that way
from song help to singing to offbeat links,
I'd be typing away faster than three blinks,
when all of a sudden i had an idea
a lightbulb went off as i watered my chia

I logged on the site with a smile on my face
and i thought, where else to celebrate but at this place
i checked my grammar, my words, and also my spelling
but who cares! this is the internetz, i'm just dwelling

march 3rd 2009, my thread was created
and everything was set, done, and dated
all i have to do is sit right here
and wait for the entries about me, me, me!!!

dominicfoundthemooon
03-15-2009, 10:21 AM
Entry #23 two more days... By DominicFoundTheMoon

two more days...
who will win the race...
who will be come a huge post whore...
to put a smile on russ buss face...

everyone they dance for him...
the number it does rise...
he has made post whores of us all...
but i am not surprised...

i feel like some one should have posted a video
one that is all done up and huge
blowing out my entry's
ensuring that i lose!

but i will keep on post whoring
until this thing is done
i will number each one of them
this contest has been fun..

bt93
03-15-2009, 11:08 AM
to the Pokemon theme song

He wants to be the very best
Like no one ever was
To post replies, is his test
To teach them is his cause (oooh)
He will travel across the web
Searchin' far and wide
For each member to understand
The power that's inside! (Ukulele Underground)

Every lesson along the way
With knowledge, you have taught
You battle everyday
To claim your rightful spot! (as Number 1)
Post something new, the time is right!
There's no one as good as you
Arm and paw, you and papa will win the fight!
It's always been your dream!

Russ Buss!
It's Just you!
I know it's your destiny!
Ooh you're the best member
In the world in that you strive to endeavor!
Russ Buss!
A heart so true
your dedication will pull you through
You teach me and everyone else,
The ways of the Uke!
Gotta teach 'em, Gotta teach 'em, Gotta teach 'em all

ps. while i was writing this poem i was wearing my Russ Buss shirt
and if i win the uke i will send russ one of these stylish shirts

smgold101
03-15-2009, 11:16 AM
ps. while i was writing this poem i was wearing my Russ Buss shirt
and if i win the uke i will send russ one of these stylish shirts


Are we allowed to bribe?! lol Russ if you pick mine il give you my left nut...not the right one though. :p

dominicfoundthemooon
03-15-2009, 11:22 AM
Are we allowed to bribe?! lol Russ if you pick mine il give you my left nut...not the right one though. :p

if you pick mine i will give you both my nuts.. BOTH! and i will even throw in one of deaches nuts also.. he gave it to me to use as my uke bling but.. i just don't think its helping me play any better.. plus the thing is so huge it just gets in the way... so yeah.. all of that can be yours!!

bt93
03-15-2009, 11:25 AM
its true though, i really have that shirt would get another one made for russ. its not really bribery, its just thanking him if i win

russ_buss
03-15-2009, 12:38 PM
Are we allowed to bribe?!

no. thanks for checking.

smgold101
03-15-2009, 12:45 PM
that made me look like an idiot hahaha russ you couldnt have included the whole quote so it would show i was joking haha Thats okay i guess though il sacrifice my name for the greater good of information for the contest lol =P

benmealer
03-15-2009, 12:48 PM
Post whore giving a uke
two thousand posts, that's alot
made me write haiku

benmealer
03-15-2009, 12:52 PM
with thousands of posts
underground has gotten russ bussed
where do you find time?

jermlilly
03-15-2009, 02:21 PM
Hey Russ Buss . . . at least I'm the only one "hanging off" of yours! (and Dom of course! :)

This was a great contest and congratulations to whoever wins! They were all pretty awesome!

UkeNinja
03-15-2009, 02:48 PM
Liveliness on the UU, contests are abound
And post counts hit the ceiling
Why does all this merriness
Give me a nothing but a lonely feeling?

I have to confess, the post wh*re's posts
So sensible and sparkling (over-the-edge "cheek" kissing WARNING!)
Are to me a raison d'etre
They are why I get up in the morning

Now a milestone has been reached
2000 posts, but Russ gets quiet
Is it me, are less people deached?
Are less splendid postings sighted?

So please dear wh*re, do not give in
No longer post in shame
But continue with your givin'
By golly, please post more! and hallowed be thy name.

:worship:

edit: 1) This is my official entry (do we need to mention that specifically?), 2) I am willing to chip in for publication cost of the toilet book.

onteng
03-15-2009, 11:59 PM
russ buss is too good

he is always on U U

a post whore he is




this is good right?
:shaka:

onteng
03-16-2009, 12:05 AM
this dood is the man

want and need three thousand post

the name is russ buss

:worship: hehe

bt93
03-16-2009, 05:13 AM
russ buss, the ukulele hero
almost as famous as robert deniro
posting all day, jammin by night
his dedication is such a beautiful sight
hes trying to beat the "o so famous deach"
but who cares to about him, hes an evil bloodsucking leach
gettin around to all of the forums
entertaining himself during his long hours of boredom
having such a devoted member like russ is a true honor,
anyone who tries to catch up to him is forsure a goner
types until his fingers are bright red
so devoted to the underground, that he will post until he is dead
so i say, thank you russ for your quick replies
and i warn you not to compete with him, because his eye is on the prize*


*prize meaning biggest post whore ever!!!

ps. while i was writing this poem i was wearing my Russ Buss shirt
and if i win the uke i will send russ one of these stylish shirts

bt93
03-16-2009, 10:12 AM
when exactly is this contest over like time and date?

russ_buss
03-16-2009, 10:24 AM
when exactly is this contest over like time and date?

tuesday march 17, noon pacific time.

bt93
03-16-2009, 10:33 AM
and when are the winners crowned?

Slick
03-16-2009, 10:37 AM
How much of a bribe?
I do not want the prize..... really,
I just like to cheat.

aki
03-16-2009, 10:43 AM
What is the deal here?
Two Thousand Posts in One Year?
Russ Buss, Post Whore, cheers!

bt93
03-16-2009, 11:03 AM
Russ, is reaching the two thousand mark, wow he is a true master
I don't know if there is anyone out there who can reply to posts, any faster
starting from zero,
climbing up to being the ukulele hero
So quick to hit that little blue button,
5.5 posts per day, he’s just getting started, man this aint nothin
He sits on the site rocking away
Sometimes I wonder if he's on here all day
Should we test you, for performance enhancing drugs?
And don’t think that I don’t know that you just made a little shrug!
So, congratulations russ, on your impressive post number
If your account got hacked that would really be a bummer
Deach is probably thinking that this may be a war,
But for right now, Russ you are the biggest post whore

ps. while i was writing this poem i was wearing my Russ Buss shirt
and if i win the uke i will send russ one of these stylish shirts

smgold101
03-16-2009, 01:37 PM
Answer The questions =)
If there is a space between the lines its a new word.



From the TV show friends, not chandler or joey but the 3rd male character
Minus
The name of Oprah's Magazine
Add
Not me but ________ (fill in the blank)

Instead of taking a car to school, you probably took this

Sounds like Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's nickname

First letter of the Alphabet

Where you would go to mail a letter
Minus
Name of the hit TV comedy series starring Steve Carell and Dwight Schrute

Usually associated with women who engage in promiscuous sexual intercourse

Another name for your rear end

This form in Spanish would be the Nosotros form

Title of a famous four lettered Nat King Cole song.

_________ not her (fill in the blank)

Title of Journey's song in Rock Band 2
minus
Not one, not two, but _______ words after the first

The male version oh She's

Isn't the H is Hour silent? Let's just take it out!

The best instrument in the entire world!

Very popular video game, is very similar to Rock Band
minus
That instrument that looks like a GIANT ukulele.

dominicfoundthemooon
03-16-2009, 01:49 PM
Entry #24 Some Real Thoughts DominicFoundTheMoon

i have found a home with amazing people
getting to know them has been fun for the past month
music seems to be key to so many smiles
and in this place... this community... it is fun to interact...
to mix in with the videos... the audio... the text...
from miles and miles away we find connection...

if that makes me a post whore... that my legs are open..

UkEdman90
03-16-2009, 02:11 PM
My 3rd and final entry




Stipes Meretricis
by Donald Hampton a.k.a Ukedman90


Slowly as time goes by,
There is a little twinkle in my eye.
He comes to see,
something which makes him full of glee.
Yes! IT IS HE!
HOW CAN THAT BE!
He posts 5.5 a day,
Yet he still has time to play!
Oh you post whore!
Need I say More?
Time has come and gone,
On the You You.
But for every lost minute,
He has been IT!
The ukulele underground Post Whore!


WE LOVE YOU RUSS!

Thanks for the opportunity bro!

bt93
03-16-2009, 02:49 PM
one if by land, two if by see
all members of the underground are dependent on thee
posting everything and anything that a common-folk may need to know,
from strumming patterns, or chord variations, to even how to sew
you knowledge stretches far beyond the widths of the horizon
you even know way more than those nerds that work over at verizon*
dedication and perseverance all characterize a true post whore
but you russ buss, are really something more
you wait online helping anyone at any given time
but now it is our turn to give you an applause and a chime
you give back to the community in many different ways,
now russbuss, you are give yourself of a pat on the back, and multiple hoorays
so thanks for all your help that you have given to the forum
and know that you entertained many during their tough hours of boredom

you are the best post whore, and contributor to the underground
many members have been inspired, though your posts they have found
that without you in this community, it would no longer go round and round :rotfl:





*not all verizon workers are nerds, and i didn't mean to offend anyone just using it as a rhyme

ps. while i was writing this poem i was wearing my Russ Buss shirt
and if i win the uke i will send russ one of these stylish shirts

Yopparai
03-16-2009, 03:21 PM
A ghostly pale glow, illuminating bleary eyes in the darkness

From the keyboard, a fragile tapping, like death's bony fingers on his scyth.

The text of the latest thread scrolls up, up, the incense of ukulele prayers.

He giggles at the screen as the mouse glides effortlessly,

The pointer an extension of his hand, his thought.

Allez, parry, coupe, parry, feint.... RIPOSTE!

The keyboard falls silent, there is a click and "Submit Reply" flickers once.

His skin tingles before he sees it. Bolts of force arcing up from the monitor.

Piercing his soul, lightning from the finger tip of the gods,

All the power of all those who have posted before him

Coursing through his veins, interconnecting him, making him one with them all.

He looks at his stats - of course, that explains it. Post 2,000.

It is satori.

"I am the U.U. bodhisattva. I am: Post Whore.

100percenthapa
03-16-2009, 03:24 PM
One more entry
umm I don't know what to title it
so here it is:

Twinkle Twinkle little whore
posting posting never getting bore-d
How I wonder how you post
never stopping to munch on toast
Ukulele hero you may be
but that's not enough to bea-t
deach

100percenthapa
03-16-2009, 03:25 PM
A ghostly pale glow, illuminating bleary eyes in the darkness

From the keyboard, a fragile tapping, like death's bony fingers on his scyth.

The text of the latest thread scrolls up, up, the incense of ukulele prayers.

He giggles at the screen as the mouse glides effortlessly,

The pointer an extension of his hand, his thought.

Allez, parry, coupe, parry, feint.... RIPOSTE!

The keyboard falls silent, there is a click and "Submit Reply" flickers once.

His skin tingles before he sees it. Bolts of force arcing up from the monitor.

Piercing his soul, lightning from the finger tip of the gods,

All the power of all those who have posted before him

Coursing through his veins, interconnecting him, making him one with them all.

He looks at his stats - of course, that explains it. Post 2,000.

It is satori.

"I am the U.U. bodhisattva. I am: Post Whore.

ohhhhhh, that's deep, dark, and mysterious......

Yopparai
03-16-2009, 03:29 PM
Yeah, had to toss off one more. Russ is gonna be tied up for a while judging this. I hope he doesn't go into posting withdrawl.

100percenthapa
03-16-2009, 03:37 PM
Russ is gonna be tied up for a while judging this. I hope he doesn't go into posting withdrawl.

Then he will be the post whore no more.

^^I'm officialy entering that into the contest^^
:rotfl:

durrin
03-16-2009, 10:11 PM
Ode to thee Russ_Buss

The sun outside, she doth beckon me to join her

My heart, so willing to play in her heavenly rays

Yet my flesh, it is restrained by my life as a poster

Yay, I doth proclaim my identity to thee, the World of Wide Webbing!

Yay, I am the Whore of Posting!

Ode to thee Russ_Buss, Ode to thee.

[Fin]

durrin
03-16-2009, 10:21 PM
p.s.

Hope my entry is not to late. I literally just saw it.

dominicfoundthemooon
03-17-2009, 03:24 AM
Entry #25 the last

weeks of posting.... 6 times a day
means in 333 days... i will be the same way...
a post whore like russ... but nowa ukulele hero
from the little old nothing... just a me me zero..


so that is it for me,,,, it is 8:22 kansas city time.. and 25 seem like the right place to stop... or maybe start... who knows...

i wish everyone lots of luck...

lacerveza
03-17-2009, 07:00 AM
I put my guitar in the washing machine,
cos i want to make it nice and clean,
when it comes out to my surprise,
it was a fraction of the size,
with different tuning and two less strings,
and a tone that beautifuly sings,
then i found out to my glee,
that now i had a ukulele,
so this i say to you, you post whore,
my guitars better than before.

russ_buss
03-17-2009, 09:11 AM
hi all,

the poetry contest is officially over. a big thank you (or as rayon would say, "mahalozzzzzzz") to all of the people that contributed poems! you are a very creative bunch and they were a joy to read. now for the fun part, i will be printing out all the entries and reading them for the next few days. i will also be consulting with a co-judge or two to help me with the decision.

i'm hoping to announce the winners by the weekend. again, thanks for all the entries!

cheers,
P.W.

UkEdman90
03-17-2009, 09:12 AM
contest is officially closed yall! its 12:10 and yes i live in cali!!! alright post whore get on this! Grab a bottle of Jameson's, a cigar, some comfortable clothes, lock yourself in your casa and READ AWAY! haha good luck to everyone who entered this really cool contest!

russ_buss
03-17-2009, 09:43 AM
contest is officially closed yall! its 12:10 and yes i live in cali!!! alright post whore get on this! Grab a bottle of Jameson's, a cigar, some comfortable clothes, lock yourself in your casa and READ AWAY! haha good luck to everyone who entered this really cool contest!

i already called the contest. also, don't be such a d-bag. good luck.

UkEdman90
03-17-2009, 10:16 AM
i already called the contest. also, don't be such a d-bag. good luck.

wasnt trying to be bro. sry

100percenthapa
03-17-2009, 04:52 PM
Good luck everyone!!!!:smileybounce:

100percenthapa
03-17-2009, 05:10 PM
i will also be consulting with a co-judge or two to help me with the decision.

And who are these judges, just need to know who to make my check out to......

mctrmt
03-17-2009, 05:15 PM
And who are these judges, just need to know who to make my check out to......

You better make that cheque out in cheese and tangerines, if one of the judges is who I think it is...

dominicfoundthemooon
03-17-2009, 06:27 PM
good luck to everyone who put in on the contest!! thanks to russ buss for doing the contest!!

onteng
03-17-2009, 09:15 PM
yep good luck to everyone who entered! and early congrats to whoever wins


thanks for hosting the contest russbuss:shaka:

100percenthapa
03-18-2009, 02:18 PM
You better make that cheque out in cheese and tangerines, if one of the judges is who I think it is...

Haha I don't even have a bank account, and I won't steal mi madre's checks. lol.:D:D
But I sure got alotta cheese no tangerines thogh.

lacerveza
03-18-2009, 03:25 PM
does cheese and tangerine have a bank account? maybe a swiss offshore account

braddahmike
03-21-2009, 08:53 AM
when do they announce the winner of the competition?

deach
03-21-2009, 01:43 PM
when do they announce the winner of the competition?

He's in Maui, sitting on the beach, drinking something with a paper umbrella in it and reading the entries.

btw...There were over 140 entries.

smgold101
03-21-2009, 01:50 PM
He's in Maui, sitting on the beach, drinking something with a paper umbrella in it and reading the entries.




Sounds like Russ won a competition himself lol

deach
03-21-2009, 02:02 PM
Sounds like Russ won a competition himself lol

Pretty much. It's a week-long "business" trip.

smgold101
03-21-2009, 02:32 PM
Pretty much. It's a week-long "business" trip.

Dang i hope i will get to go on "business" trips to Maui hahaha

bt93
03-23-2009, 02:36 PM
Ya, where has russ been? i haven't seen any posts by him in days

UkuleleHill
03-23-2009, 02:51 PM
Kinda strange isn't it??

beeejums
03-23-2009, 02:52 PM
Ya, where has russ been? i haven't seen any posts by him in days

...Maui, apparently. :D

/smartass

deach
03-23-2009, 04:40 PM
Russ in Maui reading the entriezzz.

http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL1302/4819541/21465929/359198974.jpg

dominicfoundthemooon
03-23-2009, 04:45 PM
Russ in Maui reading the entriezzz.

http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL1302/4819541/21465929/359198974.jpg

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa LMAO!!!! F-ing GREAT!!!!! ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!

thanks deacher!

bt93
03-23-2009, 04:47 PM
he deserves it...after all that posting, the man needs a break

Ahnko Honu
03-23-2009, 04:51 PM
He's out in Kapalua, Maui. Be careful, a surfer got munched by a tiger shark there not too long ago. :eek:

Harold O.
03-23-2009, 05:01 PM
So is it IN Maui or should we say ON Maui?

Or is it similar to getting ON the plane when we actually get IN the plane?

smgold101
03-23-2009, 05:19 PM
Russ in Maui reading the entriezzz.

http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL1302/4819541/21465929/359198974.jpg

Can this PLEASE be the cover to the book you make Russ of all the entries haha that looks like the most relaxing peaceful thing i have ever seen lol

beeejums
03-24-2009, 01:35 AM
Holy crap, he really is in Maui! :biglaugh:

You know, I think we're really going to lose something once we figure out how to reliably do sarcasm on the internet. The guesswork is too much fun sometimes.

Ahnko Honu
03-24-2009, 01:45 AM
Can someone tell Russ to visit the Hula Grill on Ka'anapali Beach to watch my very dear old friend Brian Haia perform. I went to middle and high school with Brian and he ALWAYS had a ukulele in hand even in school, and always strumming his whole life, an inspiration to me besides my dad. Russ I hope you get to see him perform, you SO close by. Also hope Russ gets to visit MELE Ukulele in Wailuku, and Bounty Music in Kahului.

UkeNinja
03-24-2009, 02:08 AM
Holy crap, he really is in Maui! :biglaugh:

You know...
I get the feeling we're still being had. My guess: stretcher in the kitchen, strip down to pants and take pic. Photoshop kitchen out beach in and bang! Remember, he's a UCB if ever there was one.

[Can anyone verify which poem he's reading? It could be a hidden clue!]

krabbers
03-24-2009, 09:43 AM
I get the feeling we're still being had. My guess: stretcher in the kitchen, strip down to pants and take pic. Photoshop kitchen out beach in and bang! Remember, he's a UCB if ever there was one.

[Can anyone verify which poem he's reading? It could be a hidden clue!]

that would be excellent if it was a photoshop prank .

i'm choosing my bring the ringtone winner in antarctica.

Baron K
03-24-2009, 12:20 PM
that would be excellent if it was a photoshop prank .

i'm choosing my bring the ringtone winner in antarctica.

That would be me... We had -5C (23F?) and an effin' blizzard in Stockholm today, snowing sideways into the hood of my jacket, filling it with snow.

But I'm not bitter that Russ is sipping umbrella drinks on a Hawaiian beach...Oh no, no sireee...

russ_buss
03-26-2009, 01:21 PM
hey guys, sorry for the delay on the results. i'm not quite there yet. i just got back from vacation last night and thought i'd have plenty of time for reading while away. well between stuffing my face, drinking, sightseeing, and sleeping, there just wasn't a whole lot of time. i was able to read through the entries twice on the flight home and man were my eyes sore!

thanks so much for being patient and i really appreciate all the great entries. the amount of creativity and humor was really impressive. you all are a very talented bunch. i've narrowed it down to the top 20 or so poems and am still trying to get down to the final winners. i hope to announce the winners tomorrow so please stay tuned.

meanwhile, enjoy this video of a dog, cat and mouse. see if you can tell which two are real:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRij5BfUfRQ

thankhaloz:shaka: