self-deprecation

A couple of things I've seen or heard this week have got me to wondering: why are uke players (to generalize) so self-deprecating? First there was this post about a t-shirt*; then a few comments from people I know IRL either face to face or via email basically implying that they are mediocre players at best. Heck, I do it myself sometimes: when someone asks if I'm "good" - kinda dumb question in the first place! - my stock answer is "I'm the best ukulele player on my block," knowing full well, of course, that I am the *only* ukulele player on my block

Many of us didn't even start playing until late in life. Many of us, while juggling the responsibilities of jobs and school and kids and elder care, have also shown the dedication to take up an instrument and learn it. Many of us have gone on to learn far more than we set out to and have shown the commitment to keep it up over the years.

No, that doesn't make us Jake, assuming that Jake is the gold standard by which we are all to be measured (insert note of sarcasm here). For that matter, not all of us even *want* to be Jake. But all of us who come home from work and play music regularly and work somewhat diligently to improve in whatever way we want to or can - well, I think we deserve credit for what we *have* done. So can we all just give ourselves a little pat on the back?

*(The t-shirt, FWIW, also exists in a guitar version. Which surprised me, since I'm used to guitarists who have a bit more... rock-star confidence than that.)

Maybe uke players are just more humble? Of course I realize there is a such thing as false humility too.... or maybe just have a good sense of humor.
What I've noticed here on this site, about uke players, is there seems to be more of a sense of community rather than it being a competition. Not all guitar players are competitive like that...but a lot of them are. You could definitely work that into a classic joke:
How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: 49. 1 to screw in the lightbulb and 48 more to tell them they're doing it wrong and can do it better.

I don't think most people would step up in front of a crowd of people holding a soprano uke thinking "Look at me. I'm a bad-donkey". That happens plenty with guitar players and some others. I find the uke to be a humble but great instrument.

Good question to ponder. It'll be interesting to see the responses.

jer said:

Maybe uke players are just more humble? Of course I realize there is a such thing as false humility too.... or maybe just have a good sense of humor.
What I've noticed here on this site, about uke players, is there seems to be more of a sense of community rather than it being a competition. Not all guitar players are competitive like that...but a lot of them are. You could definitely work that into a classic joke:
How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: 49. 1 to screw in the lightbulb and 48 more to tell them they're doing it wrong and can do it better.

I don't think most people would step up in front of a crowd of people holding a soprano uke thinking "Look at me. I'm a bad-donkey". That happens plenty with guitar players and some others. I find the uke to be a humble but great instrument.

Good question to ponder. It'll be interesting to see the responses.

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Ooh. Now I want to form a uke band called the Bad Donkeys!

The ukulele has brought me more joy than I dreamed possible. No matter how my playing sounds, the joy is there....a skyful of "I'd rather being doing this than most anything else."

I am so very ok when I'm even just thinking about my ukuleles, that that t shirt sounds like a compliment to me

Pats on the back to us all....a great idea!

Interesting...to me the shirt says "I'm an OK player and that's enough." I don't find it self-deprecating at all. I think it's more of a declaration that we don't all HAVE to be "Jake" or any of the other greats to love playing the instrument.

turtledrum said:

I am so very ok when I'm even just thinking about my ukuleles, that that t shirt sounds like a compliment to me

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Papa Tom said:

Interesting...to me the shirt says "I'm an OK player and that's enough." I don't find it self-deprecating at all. I think it's more of a declaration that we don't all HAVE to be "Jake" or any of the other greats to love playing the instrument.

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I like the "so very ok" interpretation - I hadn't even thought of it that way, I took it to mean "not very good."

Well Marielle, I am proud about teaching myself to play the ukulele relatively late in life. It has, and continues to bring me much joy. But I have no illusions about my ability, I suck. LOL. But that is OK. As Stuart Smalley said, I am good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!

I think a lot of us have reached a point in life where we don't take ourselves too seriously. We have nothing to prove. And I think that accounts for the self deprecation in our humor. Taking up an instrument or a sport, golf for example, later in life is great. At this point you won't be Tiger or Phil in golf, but you can go out and hack away and have a ball. For the ukulele you won't become Aldrine or Jake, but you can strum and pick away and really enjoy yourself. That being said you can practice and study and improve your playing and your enjoyment.

janeray1940 said:

Ooh. Now I want to form a uke band called the Bad Donkeys!

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Haha. That'd be awesome.

dkcrown said:

As Stuart Smalley said, I am good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!

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So in other words... you *don't* suck

JJFN said:

I think a lot of us have reached a point in life where we don't take ourselves too seriously. We have nothing to prove. And I think that accounts for the self deprecation in our humor.

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This is where I get confused though: does the ukulele player who outwardly labels himself or herself as "less than good" or "just ok" actually *want* validation that they are more than that? I dunno, it confuses me.

JJFN said:

Taking up an instrument or a sport, golf for example, later in life is great. At this point you won't be Tiger or Phil in golf, but you can go out and hack away and have a ball. For the ukulele you won't become Aldrine or Jake, but you can strum and pick away and really enjoy yourself. That being said you can practice and study and improve your playing and your enjoyment.

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Yes, this exactly. And we all have different ideas of enjoying ourselves. Simple strum and sing songs are almost torture to me (and to anyone else within earshot of my voice, and no I'm not being humble!) but laboring away for hours...days...years on a classical piece is pure enjoyment for me. Room for improvement either way, and some will be better at one, some at the other.

Self depreciation... Its all a part of the new world mentality you know... things like no kid left behind and awards and trophies for simply competing. Essentially people are now rewarded for failure or coming in last.

I need no external pat on the back or any acknowledgment from others to be happy where I am. Should I begin to talk about my achievements I'm soon told I'm bragging or ringing my own bell. Mediocrity is now rewarded, as this becomes the norm more will strive to prove their nothing but or even less than normal.

Its already begun.

Ive always answered I play to amuse myself whenever asked if I play an instrument, usually by someone seeing said instrument. Ive also been known to answer no I only bought it for a status symbol and smile.

I am amazed at the mentality that walks into my shop and asks me if me or my artist are any good at Tattooing. That usually gets a hell no we are just gonna scribble on ya and hope for the best. Then as their mouth opens to catch dust I flip and say why of course we are the best in the world that's why you are here. By this point I either have them sold or I would let them talk to my artist.

I do more research on different ukuleles than most do when choosing a tattoo artist. The smart ones look at our portfolios and let our work sell us.

And there's the slightly related rambling babble I'm famous for.

I'm okay, you're okay.

My whole life has been lived like that and continues to be. I'm not proud of it nor am I falsely modest. Just utterly lacking in self confidence. These days I can't even play in front of people without being so nervous as to make it simply impossible, so I don't. I've turned down countless invites to festivals over the last few years - or accepted them then backed out in paranoia and fear at the last minute.

Another thing is that by definition a uke is smaller than a guitar (so there's the old chestnut of "size does matter") and has lots of historical baggage to overcome...from Tiny Tim, back to the novelty acts of Vaudeville in the early c20th century. It was a vehicle of fun and mirth and so perhaps that's also a factor to consider.

But I totally agree with your points Marielle. On a more general note, I think folks who tend to be drawn to the ukulele don't buy into the whole bragging, egoist stuff anyway. We are a different breed and play for our own enjoyment most often. And culturally - in Australia at least - there's a thing called "Tall Poppy Syndrome" whereby folks who display overt self-confidence and assurance are cut down quick smart.

Just some immediate thoughts. Nice thread my friend.

On the other hand, if we were full of ourselves and had no sense of humor, we'd be guitar players.

Maybe because Uke isn't competitive?
It seems to be a very laid back thing, whether it's social, or private.
It's also a very nurturing thing of helping each other rather than trying to beat each other.
Maybe because it was born of the Aloha spirit?

Hippie Dribble said:

My whole life has been lived like that and continues to be. I'm not proud of it nor am I falsely modest. Just utterly lacking in self confidence. These days I can't even play in front of people without being so nervous as to make it simply impossible, so I don't. I've turned down countless invites to festivals over the last few years - or accepted them then backed out in paranoia and fear at the last minute.

Another thing is that by definition a uke is smaller than a guitar (so there's the old chestnut of "size does matter") and has lots of historical baggage to overcome...from Tiny Tim, back to the novelty acts of Vaudeville in the early c20th century. It was a vehicle of fun and mirth and so perhaps that's also a factor to consider.

But I totally agree with your points Marielle. On a more general note, I think folks who tend to be drawn to the ukulele don't buy into the whole bragging, egoist stuff anyway. We are a different breed and play for our own enjoyment most often. And culturally - in Australia at least - there's a thing called "Tall Poppy Syndrome" whereby folks who display overt self-confidence and assurance are cut down quick smart.

Just some immediate thoughts. Nice thread my friend.

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Thanks Jon Somewhere between tall-poppy syndrome and utter lack of self confidence lies a happy medium, I suppose. One that's probably different for all of us.

You know, performing is a whole other issue that's been on my mind lately. I don't get "nerves" about it - I grew up performing, actually, and was never "great" at anything I did but was passably good and very enthusiastic and dedicated - but I've come to realize that outside of certain situations, I just don't enjoy it. I enjoy the camaraderie of playing with others, but everything else that goes along with it - engaging an audience, picking material for the audience rather than for myself, having to devote brain space to what the audience thinks of me - just isn't my thing. And the lack of control that goes with things like ukulele festivals can be just plain stressful. Which is why most of the time I do my playing at home, or hidden away in an upstairs room at the local guitar shop AKA my woodshed...

My wife jumped me on this very thing a few months ago. Both the uke and my art. I was always apologizing for both, which honestly I'm not that bad at either one. But she asked me what I thought I was accomplishing by telling people that I'm really not that good. The big thing was that I would tell people that I didn't any musical talent. Same with with art, I would tell people that I didn't have any artistic talent. Anyway, my wife told me to quit doing that, and I've broke the habit. I mean, I don't go out bragging, but if someone asks, I tell them that I'm pretty good. Anyway hence my sig. To tell the truth, as soon as I started telling people that I was pretty good, instead of telling them that I try, but I don't really have any talent, I actually got better.

turtledrum said:

The ukulele has brought me more joy than I dreamed possible. No matter how my playing sounds, the joy is there....a skyful of "I'd rather being doing this than most anything else."

I am so very ok when I'm even just thinking about my ukuleles, that that t shirt sounds like a compliment to me

Pats on the back to us all....a great idea!

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agreed! !@#$%^% but if someone asks me my opinion of my own playing I'm going to be honest. I'm not very accomplished and likely will never be. But like you stated that's not really where the action/fun is at.

Know why I want that shirt so bad? (badly?) Because when people ask me how well I play, I always say "I'm okay." For me it is perfect. It all depends on how good of a player one wants to be. No, I will never be as good of a player as Jake. But I will die trying. Yeah, I know a lot of stuff. Yeah, I can play a few hard songs, but then again, I don't know all the I, IV, V stuff. I don't know all the chord inversions. I don't stay in chord shapes very well when fingerpicking. There are a bunch of techniques I haven't earned yet. My strumming is horrid. My tremelo sucks. Nor do I sing. In MY opinion I have a LONG, long, long way to go. Therefore.....I am an OK player. I guess I don't see what's wrong with being humble, either. I prefer that to people who are so full of themselves. But, yes, I will say I am the best player on my street.