Poll: Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Poll: Introvert or extrovert?

The ukulele in general is such a bright, happy and friendly instrument that it would seem to be very fitting for an extrovert. This point of view would seem to be supported by all of the ukulele clubs around the world and the many people who make videos of their playing. That got me to thinking about the makeup of ukulele players. Are they predominately extrovert? Introvert? Somewhere in between? I'm definitely an introvert. I totally understand what it's like to be the tug of war rope between wanting friends and wanting to be alone. Between wanting to be noticed and wanting to be anonymous. I've been playing the uke for 5 years and in that time, I've played in front of people only a handful of times. (Once when I summoned the courage to attend an open uke club event, the others in front of family members.) I've been toying with the idea of joining in on one of the seasons with a video but haven't summoned that courage yet. How about you? How do you see yourself?

I don't mind putting myself forward even though my talent does not warrant it.

Just something I want people to keep in mind, though. An introvert is not "a person who hates people". The introvert / extrovert distinction is more about how the person prefers to "recharge his/her batteries" after a stressful or energy-sapping experience. There's also an element of who the introvert / extrovert wants to be around.

There are many types of introverts ranging from "I hate all people equally" to "I hate most people, but these three friends are okay" to "I don't hate people; in fact, I love people... I just need some quiet time after spending time with people or in a stressful situation so that I can recover". There are just as many types of extroverts, including the "I hate people, but man do I love being around them so that I can torture them", the "I love people, but I want them to all focus on me at all times", and the "I love people and I give all of my energy to making them happy."

Me? I'm a hard introvert. I'm looking to buy a piece of land out in the woods and build a tiny house for just me and my dog. If I can see another building from my house, it's too urban for me. I went to a ukulele jam on Saturday and had a great time, but I spent Saturday night, all of Sunday, and the past two days at work locked in a room alone to recover.

Southern Marylander said:

Me? I'm a hard introvert. I'm looking to buy a piece of land out in the woods and build a tiny house for just me and my dog. If I can see another building from my house, it's too urban for me. I went to a ukulele jam on Saturday and had a great time, but I spent Saturday night, all of Sunday, and the past two days at work locked in a room alone to recover.

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I am with you completely! I currently live in a small subdivision (6 houses spread over a mile) on 7 acres of woods. Last summer a neighbor built a house on his land. I told my wife that we had to move because I could now see 2 houses from my front porch. She thought I was kidding. Like you, I want a tiny house in the middle of nowhere. She's not a tiny house kind of person, so I suppose I will make do with seeing 2 houses...

I think it's situational with me. For the most part, I'm outgoing. I think most people I know would consider me an extrovert, never-met-a-stranger type. I think I have a good sense of humor, and typically feel open towards people.

But there are times I feel shy and awkward. There are also times I crave solitude.

I have lived in huge, major cities, small towns, and in very remote, secluded areas far from others.

I think my preference (as long as it's near a beach) is for a smallish town situated between areas of natural beauty that are free of many other humans, and big cities. I need both...quiet solitude in nature AND bright light, big city bustle...

Yes, I am a man of contrasts...

I thought I was an introvert... for decades, 4 or 5.
then I took a personality test and not only did the test, but also the other participants
confirmed I was/am an Extrovert. It was hard for me to accept it, as I have no problem
being alone at times.

anyway, don't be surprised if you find out that instead of one, you happen to be the other!

keep uke'in',

Uncle Rod Higuchi said:

I thought I was an introvert... for decades, 4 or 5.
then I took a personality test and not only did the test, but also the other participants
confirmed I was/am an Extrovert. It was hard for me to accept it, as I have no problem
being alone at times.

anyway, don't be surprised if you find out that instead of one, you happen to be the other!

keep uke'in',

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Being an introvert has more to do with how you relate to people than it does not having a problem with being alone at times. I'm married to an extrovert. She gets energized being around people and feeding off of interacting with them. As an introvert, I find that being around and interacting with people is draining. Before long I want to go off on my own and re-energize. When I'm in a large crowd I can often feel anxiety, stress, annoyance or all three together. When I'm with a single person, sometimes trying to make small talk is excruciating. On the other hand, when I'm around people I know and am comfortable with, I can be outgoing. I was talking with a coworker a while ago telling her that I was an introvert. She said, "You are?! I wouldn't have guessed that!" In general, I think extroverts prefer to be among people most of the time with occasional alone time. Introverts probably prefer to be alone most of the time with occasional time around others.

I always learned for definition that introvert/extrovert pertains to the dislike or like/want or desire to be around people or just to be alone (not lonely),

while shyness/not shyness is pertaining to leanings toward self expression, or not, due to their levels of self -consciousness and inhibitions.

So an extrovert shy person can be someone who loves to be with people but doesn't say much
And a
Introverted opposite of shy person is someone who can say or do anything they want in crowds and have no problems being expressive in social situations but prefers to be alone if had a chance.
For example.


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As for me, according to my tentative definitions above, it really depends on the situation.

At work I can usually be introverted but not shy.

However in music circles, I'm very extroverted and also very not shy. Also same way with family and friends.

I guess it is bc at work, usually I'm around people I don't really feel I'm of the 'same cloth' , I don't prefer to get to know anyone from work in outside of work (except for a few handful who are really cool or are into same hobbies as I am). However doesn't mean I don't care for these people. I do still listen and care to hear if they have personal issues and they share it in a rare occasion and will pray for them whenever I can.

I'm an introvert with a social anxiety disorder, so socializing is almost always difficult and axhausting for me.

But I've found that playing the ukulele is actually helping me to get out more and meet new people, through classes and the local ukulele group/club. (Took me about half a year to work up the courage to go there for the first time.) The fact that there's something to do, a common interest and a bit of a structure makes these types of events much easier to navigate than, for example, a party or any other unstructured event where you're basically expected to make small talk all the time. It's still tiring, though, and I need some alone time afterwards.

Same goes for the Seasons. They allow me to put myself out there a bit, to get used the idea of other people listening to my playing, but at the same time I can remain somewhat anonymous and I can interact with the other seasonistas on my own time.

I'm an introvert and I enjoy spending time in my own company - like others have said I find it energizing to have some 'me time'. I find playing the uke to be quite meditative and relaxing - it requires a certain amount of focus and I find it helps quieten my mind and bring my attention into the present moment. The stresses of the day melt away when I'm noodling around on my uke

Here is a good explanation of one interpretation of introvert vs extravert

http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/extraversion-or-introversion.htm

I am definitely an extrovert, but my oldest daughter is definitely an introvert. In an (ongoing) effort to understand her as well as I can, I read a great book about introverts a couple of years ago called Quiet. It helped me understand that my daughter's ideas about what is enjoyable and worthwhile are just different from mine. But I was also surprised at how many of the descriptions of the way introverts think and act apply to me.

I love this question! Great discussion and definitions, some of which I see myself in somewhat.

I chose "leaning toward introvert" because I'm somewhat reserved and really enjoy being alone, but I'm not at all shy, which always throws people (and my Myers-Briggs, which wavers between INTP and INTJ, and the "I" is often just slightly) off a bit. I hate parties, small talk, meetings, gossip, parties... oh how I hate parties! But I love joking around and making people laugh, I'll ask a total stranger just about anything if I have a reason to, I give my (honest to a fault) opinions far too readily. How's that for a crazy mixed up answer?

As for ukulele-specific activities - with the exception of one, I'm pretty much a failure at uke groups. I have zero fear of playing music in front of others - but I have no desire to "entertain" per se and hate being thought of in that kooky/kitschy/cutesy "fun ukulele player stereotype" way. I rarely do videos (or social media in general) because I'm not interested in leaving behind an indelible internet footprint, and I could care less about the opinions that total strangers leave in the comments.

I can't mark a dot for the poll. I'm both really. It all depends on the situation. For example, I'm a wallflower at parties but can go out and busk on the street or talk about uke to anyone who will listen, lol.

I am very very much an introvert. To the point of not playing my uke in front of anyone, including my boyfriend (until very recently).

I am absolutely an introvert. I have a very small handful of close friends that allow me to feel comfortable enough to relax and be outgoing. But I dread small talk and mingling with strangers. I will do almost anything to get out of going to parties where I only know a couple of people - yet, I used to give parties all the time and am quite comfortable with people I know. The really weird thing is that I used to be a courtroom litigator, and a pretty good one. I have absolutely zero fear of public speaking, was very good at oral arguments, and even gave a graduation speech once. But I sucked at shmoozing and mingling. The even weirder thing is that if you asked me to get up in an auditorium to give a speech, or do a debate, no problem. But I have an almost paralyzing fear of playing music (solo) in front of others, even on songs that I play well or pretty well.

I had an ukulele class I really enjoyed taking for years, even though it was 30 miles from my house. We did arrangements and I loved playing ukulele with others. As the group advanced, material got more advanced, and it got to the point where we had to do a small solo (really just a riff or line) each week. The fear and dread for me each week was so overwhelming that I grew to hate going and stopped taking the class. It really was a shame, I otherwise really liked it when I could play along anonymously.

I do an Aloha Music Camp in Kauai each year taught by Herb Ohta Jr., Keola Beamer, Jeff Peterson, etc. Herb gives us our ukulele songs in advance - usually a couple of weeks ahead. Because I am an intermediate player, and have no natural music ability, I really have to work at a piece until I get it down. I envy folks that can pick up music and play it on the spot. I played each song five times a day before Camp, so I could play them competently. One day in class, Herb asked who felt comfortable with the melody. Like an idiot, I raised my hand. I was comfortable, but not for a solo. Because I was the only one that raised my hand, he had me play it for him and my classmates. I knew that song like the back of my hand, but choked, froze and stopped playing after a handful of measures. I know people say you only get over your fears by forcing yourself out of your comfort zone, but I have no desire to play solo. I am good with nobody but my cat, spouse or mom listening. And even then, I play much better when they don't. I didn't even feel comfortable playing the ukes made for me in front of the guy that made them, and he is in that small group of folks I know well enough to otherwise feel comfortable around!

wickedwahine11 said:

I had an ukulele class I really enjoyed taking for years, even though it was 30 miles from my house. We did arrangements and I loved playing ukulele with others. As the group advanced, material got more advanced, and it got to the point where we had to do a small solo (really just a riff or line) each week. The fear and dread for me each week was so overwhelming that I grew to hate going and stopped taking the class. It really was a shame, I otherwise really liked it when I could play along anonymously.

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Oh wow - I had no idea, and as I was reading the previous paragraph I was remembering a couple of times you played solo for the class! For the most part, we no longer do the solo/improv bits in the class - it's strictly playing from arrangements except once in a while those who are into improvising will be called on to do so. I don't do it at all - although I'll happily play an arranged solo for others, I'm not confident about improvising and don't enjoy it one bit.

This is a great topic. Interesting reads.
Human sociality is such a curiosity.

janeray1940 said:

Oh wow - I had no idea, and as I was reading the previous paragraph I was remembering a couple of times you played solo for the class! For the most part, we no longer do the solo/improv bits in the class - it's strictly playing from arrangements except once in a while those who are into improvising will be called on to do so. I don't do it at all - although I'll happily play an arranged solo for others, I'm not confident about improvising and don't enjoy it one bit.

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Good to know! That improvising and weekly riff play-around was so anxiety inducing for me! I dearly miss Steve's arrangements though. I was just playing his "Eleanor Rigby" today...sounds much better with a room of folks doing different parts though.

wickedwahine11 said:

Good to know! That improvising and weekly riff play-around was so anxiety inducing for me! I dearly miss Steve's arrangements though. I was just playing his "Eleanor Rigby" today...sounds much better with a room of folks doing different parts though.

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Come to think of it, I think one could pretty much divide that class up by introvert/extravert based on their/our willingness to improvise - of course I'm totally making assumptions that the people who like taking solos are extraverts! It's a smaller and more focused group now - same great arrangements, but yes, more fun to play in a roomful of people playing the parts than playing one part all alone.