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View Full Version : Poll: Are you an introvert or an extrovert?



mikelz777
02-28-2017, 10:42 AM
The ukulele in general is such a bright, happy and friendly instrument that it would seem to be very fitting for an extrovert. This point of view would seem to be supported by all of the ukulele clubs around the world and the many people who make videos of their playing. That got me to thinking about the makeup of ukulele players. Are they predominately extrovert? Introvert? Somewhere in between? I'm definitely an introvert. I totally understand what it's like to be the tug of war rope between wanting friends and wanting to be alone. Between wanting to be noticed and wanting to be anonymous. I've been playing the uke for 5 years and in that time, I've played in front of people only a handful of times. (Once when I summoned the courage to attend an open uke club event, the others in front of family members.) I've been toying with the idea of joining in on one of the seasons with a video but haven't summoned that courage yet. How about you? How do you see yourself?

Osprey
02-28-2017, 11:05 AM
I don't mind putting myself forward even though my talent does not warrant it.

Southern Marylander
02-28-2017, 11:15 AM
Just something I want people to keep in mind, though. An introvert is not "a person who hates people". The introvert / extrovert distinction is more about how the person prefers to "recharge his/her batteries" after a stressful or energy-sapping experience. There's also an element of who the introvert / extrovert wants to be around.

There are many types of introverts ranging from "I hate all people equally" to "I hate most people, but these three friends are okay" to "I don't hate people; in fact, I love people... I just need some quiet time after spending time with people or in a stressful situation so that I can recover". There are just as many types of extroverts, including the "I hate people, but man do I love being around them so that I can torture them", the "I love people, but I want them to all focus on me at all times", and the "I love people and I give all of my energy to making them happy."

Me? I'm a hard introvert. I'm looking to buy a piece of land out in the woods and build a tiny house for just me and my dog. If I can see another building from my house, it's too urban for me. I went to a ukulele jam on Saturday and had a great time, but I spent Saturday night, all of Sunday, and the past two days at work locked in a room alone to recover.

WCBarnes
02-28-2017, 11:26 AM
Me? I'm a hard introvert. I'm looking to buy a piece of land out in the woods and build a tiny house for just me and my dog. If I can see another building from my house, it's too urban for me. I went to a ukulele jam on Saturday and had a great time, but I spent Saturday night, all of Sunday, and the past two days at work locked in a room alone to recover.

I am with you completely! I currently live in a small subdivision (6 houses spread over a mile) on 7 acres of woods. Last summer a neighbor built a house on his land. I told my wife that we had to move because I could now see 2 houses from my front porch. She thought I was kidding. Like you, I want a tiny house in the middle of nowhere. She's not a tiny house kind of person, so I suppose I will make do with seeing 2 houses...

Griffis
02-28-2017, 11:54 AM
I think it's situational with me. For the most part, I'm outgoing. I think most people I know would consider me an extrovert, never-met-a-stranger type. I think I have a good sense of humor, and typically feel open towards people.

But there are times I feel shy and awkward. There are also times I crave solitude.

I have lived in huge, major cities, small towns, and in very remote, secluded areas far from others.

I think my preference (as long as it's near a beach) is for a smallish town situated between areas of natural beauty that are free of many other humans, and big cities. I need both...quiet solitude in nature AND bright light, big city bustle...

Yes, I am a man of contrasts...

Uncle Rod Higuchi
02-28-2017, 12:03 PM
I thought I was an introvert... for decades, 4 or 5.
then I took a personality test and not only did the test, but also the other participants
confirmed I was/am an Extrovert. It was hard for me to accept it, as I have no problem
being alone at times.

anyway, don't be surprised if you find out that instead of one, you happen to be the other!

keep uke'in',

mikelz777
02-28-2017, 12:26 PM
I thought I was an introvert... for decades, 4 or 5.
then I took a personality test and not only did the test, but also the other participants
confirmed I was/am an Extrovert. It was hard for me to accept it, as I have no problem
being alone at times.

anyway, don't be surprised if you find out that instead of one, you happen to be the other!

keep uke'in',

Being an introvert has more to do with how you relate to people than it does not having a problem with being alone at times. I'm married to an extrovert. She gets energized being around people and feeding off of interacting with them. As an introvert, I find that being around and interacting with people is draining. Before long I want to go off on my own and re-energize. When I'm in a large crowd I can often feel anxiety, stress, annoyance or all three together. When I'm with a single person, sometimes trying to make small talk is excruciating. On the other hand, when I'm around people I know and am comfortable with, I can be outgoing. I was talking with a coworker a while ago telling her that I was an introvert. She said, "You are?! I wouldn't have guessed that!" In general, I think extroverts prefer to be among people most of the time with occasional alone time. Introverts probably prefer to be alone most of the time with occasional time around others.

Debussychopin
02-28-2017, 12:59 PM
I always learned for definition that introvert/extrovert pertains to the dislike or like/want or desire to be around people or just to be alone (not lonely),

while shyness/not shyness is pertaining to leanings toward self expression, or not, due to their levels of self -consciousness and inhibitions.

So an extrovert shy person can be someone who loves to be with people but doesn't say much
And a
Introverted opposite of shy person is someone who can say or do anything they want in crowds and have no problems being expressive in social situations but prefers to be alone if had a chance.
For example.


-
As for me, according to my tentative definitions above, it really depends on the situation.

At work I can usually be introverted but not shy.

However in music circles, I'm very extroverted and also very not shy. Also same way with family and friends.

I guess it is bc at work, usually I'm around people I don't really feel I'm of the 'same cloth' , I don't prefer to get to know anyone from work in outside of work (except for a few handful who are really cool or are into same hobbies as I am). However doesn't mean I don't care for these people. I do still listen and care to hear if they have personal issues and they share it in a rare occasion and will pray for them whenever I can.

PlastikUke
02-28-2017, 01:43 PM
I'm an introvert with a social anxiety disorder, so socializing is almost always difficult and axhausting for me.

But I've found that playing the ukulele is actually helping me to get out more and meet new people, through classes and the local ukulele group/club. (Took me about half a year to work up the courage to go there for the first time.) The fact that there's something to do, a common interest and a bit of a structure makes these types of events much easier to navigate than, for example, a party or any other unstructured event where you're basically expected to make small talk all the time. It's still tiring, though, and I need some alone time afterwards.

Same goes for the Seasons. They allow me to put myself out there a bit, to get used the idea of other people listening to my playing, but at the same time I can remain somewhat anonymous and I can interact with the other seasonistas on my own time.

jollyboy
02-28-2017, 01:56 PM
I'm an introvert and I enjoy spending time in my own company - like others have said I find it energizing to have some 'me time'. I find playing the uke to be quite meditative and relaxing - it requires a certain amount of focus and I find it helps quieten my mind and bring my attention into the present moment. The stresses of the day melt away when I'm noodling around on my uke :)

EDW
02-28-2017, 02:15 PM
Here is a good explanation of one interpretation of introvert vs extravert

http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/extraversion-or-introversion.htm

greenie44
02-28-2017, 05:22 PM
I am definitely an extrovert, but my oldest daughter is definitely an introvert. In an (ongoing) effort to understand her as well as I can, I read a great book about introverts a couple of years ago called Quiet. It helped me understand that my daughter's ideas about what is enjoyable and worthwhile are just different from mine. But I was also surprised at how many of the descriptions of the way introverts think and act apply to me.

janeray1940
02-28-2017, 05:24 PM
I love this question! Great discussion and definitions, some of which I see myself in somewhat.

I chose "leaning toward introvert" because I'm somewhat reserved and really enjoy being alone, but I'm not at all shy, which always throws people (and my Myers-Briggs, which wavers between INTP and INTJ, and the "I" is often just slightly) off a bit. I hate parties, small talk, meetings, gossip, parties... oh how I hate parties! But I love joking around and making people laugh, I'll ask a total stranger just about anything if I have a reason to, I give my (honest to a fault) opinions far too readily. How's that for a crazy mixed up answer? :)

As for ukulele-specific activities - with the exception of one, I'm pretty much a failure at uke groups. I have zero fear of playing music in front of others - but I have no desire to "entertain" per se and hate being thought of in that kooky/kitschy/cutesy "fun ukulele player stereotype" way. I rarely do videos (or social media in general) because I'm not interested in leaving behind an indelible internet footprint, and I could care less about the opinions that total strangers leave in the comments.

bonesigh
02-28-2017, 06:39 PM
I can't mark a dot for the poll. I'm both really. It all depends on the situation. For example, I'm a wallflower at parties but can go out and busk on the street or talk about uke to anyone who will listen, lol.

weeshan
02-28-2017, 07:01 PM
I am very very much an introvert. To the point of not playing my uke in front of anyone, including my boyfriend (until very recently).

wickedwahine11
02-28-2017, 07:56 PM
I am absolutely an introvert. I have a very small handful of close friends that allow me to feel comfortable enough to relax and be outgoing. But I dread small talk and mingling with strangers. I will do almost anything to get out of going to parties where I only know a couple of people - yet, I used to give parties all the time and am quite comfortable with people I know. The really weird thing is that I used to be a courtroom litigator, and a pretty good one. I have absolutely zero fear of public speaking, was very good at oral arguments, and even gave a graduation speech once. But I sucked at shmoozing and mingling. The even weirder thing is that if you asked me to get up in an auditorium to give a speech, or do a debate, no problem. But I have an almost paralyzing fear of playing music (solo) in front of others, even on songs that I play well or pretty well.

I had an ukulele class I really enjoyed taking for years, even though it was 30 miles from my house. We did arrangements and I loved playing ukulele with others. As the group advanced, material got more advanced, and it got to the point where we had to do a small solo (really just a riff or line) each week. The fear and dread for me each week was so overwhelming that I grew to hate going and stopped taking the class. It really was a shame, I otherwise really liked it when I could play along anonymously.

I do an Aloha Music Camp in Kauai each year taught by Herb Ohta Jr., Keola Beamer, Jeff Peterson, etc. Herb gives us our ukulele songs in advance - usually a couple of weeks ahead. Because I am an intermediate player, and have no natural music ability, I really have to work at a piece until I get it down. I envy folks that can pick up music and play it on the spot. I played each song five times a day before Camp, so I could play them competently. One day in class, Herb asked who felt comfortable with the melody. Like an idiot, I raised my hand. I was comfortable, but not for a solo. Because I was the only one that raised my hand, he had me play it for him and my classmates. I knew that song like the back of my hand, but choked, froze and stopped playing after a handful of measures. I know people say you only get over your fears by forcing yourself out of your comfort zone, but I have no desire to play solo. I am good with nobody but my cat, spouse or mom listening. And even then, I play much better when they don't. I didn't even feel comfortable playing the ukes made for me in front of the guy that made them, and he is in that small group of folks I know well enough to otherwise feel comfortable around!

janeray1940
02-28-2017, 08:09 PM
I had an ukulele class I really enjoyed taking for years, even though it was 30 miles from my house. We did arrangements and I loved playing ukulele with others. As the group advanced, material got more advanced, and it got to the point where we had to do a small solo (really just a riff or line) each week. The fear and dread for me each week was so overwhelming that I grew to hate going and stopped taking the class. It really was a shame, I otherwise really liked it when I could play along anonymously.


Oh wow - I had no idea, and as I was reading the previous paragraph I was remembering a couple of times you played solo for the class! For the most part, we no longer do the solo/improv bits in the class - it's strictly playing from arrangements except once in a while those who are into improvising will be called on to do so. I don't do it at all - although I'll happily play an arranged solo for others, I'm not confident about improvising and don't enjoy it one bit.

Debussychopin
02-28-2017, 08:13 PM
This is a great topic. Interesting reads.
Human sociality is such a curiosity.

wickedwahine11
02-28-2017, 08:27 PM
Oh wow - I had no idea, and as I was reading the previous paragraph I was remembering a couple of times you played solo for the class! For the most part, we no longer do the solo/improv bits in the class - it's strictly playing from arrangements except once in a while those who are into improvising will be called on to do so. I don't do it at all - although I'll happily play an arranged solo for others, I'm not confident about improvising and don't enjoy it one bit.

Good to know! That improvising and weekly riff play-around was so anxiety inducing for me! I dearly miss Steve's arrangements though. I was just playing his "Eleanor Rigby" today...sounds much better with a room of folks doing different parts though. :)

janeray1940
02-28-2017, 08:34 PM
Good to know! That improvising and weekly riff play-around was so anxiety inducing for me! I dearly miss Steve's arrangements though. I was just playing his "Eleanor Rigby" today...sounds much better with a room of folks doing different parts though. :)

Come to think of it, I think one could pretty much divide that class up by introvert/extravert based on their/our willingness to improvise - of course I'm totally making assumptions that the people who like taking solos are extraverts! It's a smaller and more focused group now - same great arrangements, but yes, more fun to play in a roomful of people playing the parts than playing one part all alone.

Croaky Keith
02-28-2017, 11:06 PM
According to that Myers & Briggs Foundation, I'm definately an introvert! :)

Same goes for most of what people here are saying, so I guess I must be. ;)

Ukuleleblues
03-01-2017, 02:41 AM
I looked online and "Researchers estimate extroverts make up 50 - 74 percent of the population. ". Other sources cite male E 45.9%, I 54.1% Female E 52.5%, I 47.5%
General population E 49.3%, I 50.7%

I found this online test that is based on Carl Jung’s and Isabel Briggs Myers’ personality type theory. I have taken the full test and my type came out the same on this one. It gives you the preference percentage. For example, it may rate you an Introvert with a %10 preference over being an extrovert. Remember there is no right or wrong personality type. Over the last 25 years my type has slightly changed which I thought was interesting.

Try it. http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp
(http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp)
This is me:

ENFJ
Extravert(31%) iNtuitive(38%) Feeling(6%) Judging(9%)
You have moderate preference of Extraversion over Introversion (31%)
You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (38%)
You have slight preference of Feeling over Thinking (6%)
You have slight preference of Judging over Perceiving (9%)

kvehe
03-01-2017, 03:23 AM
Definitely an introvert. At the beginning of February, due to a highly contagious infection, I had to spend one week home alone with zero human contact. It was heaven.:)

...of course, with that much free time I bought two guitars...

UkerDanno
03-01-2017, 05:06 AM
Introvert, extrovert, whatever...ukulele clubs bring us all together for fun and music! :shaka:

Twibbly
03-01-2017, 06:48 AM
I'm a outgoing introvert.

I'll talk to almost anybody, but once I'm done with people, I need QUIET and time to myself. Otherwise, I start getting twitchy, and if I go past that, I start going to the brain-no-worky-leave-me-alone phase where I sit there and glower at everybody who dares approach.

PTOEguy
03-01-2017, 07:54 AM
I'm an introvert - one of my friends has a shirt that i'm envious of - it says "You read my shirt - that's enough social interaction for today".

But, I have no problem with performing in front of people and enjoy doing so. I've done solos with a symphony in front of over a 1000 people. I enjoy the adrenaline...

I thinking about this - and I think I use uke in social situations as a buffer - it gives me something that helps lubricate the social situation.

Debussychopin
03-01-2017, 07:55 AM
I thinking about this - and I think I use uke in social situations as a buffer - it gives me something that helps lubricate the social situation.

This is the case with dogs too.

actadh
03-01-2017, 09:05 AM
Fascinating read is Susan Cain’s Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. Here is a TED talk about the concept:
http://www.quietrev.com/ted-talk/

Rllink
03-01-2017, 09:50 AM
Is being introverted and being antisocial the same? If not, I think that sometimes the two get confused.

Twibbly
03-01-2017, 09:52 AM
Is being introverted and being antisocial the same? If not, I think that sometimes the two get confused.

Nope. I'm a very social person, until I go too long. See previous comment about 5 up.

PTOEguy
03-01-2017, 10:01 AM
This is the case with dogs too.

For some reason this reminded me of a quote from Terry Pratchett

"Pets are always a help in times of stress. And in times of starvation, too, of course"

Southern Marylander
03-01-2017, 10:03 AM
This is the case with dogs too.

And beer...

... though oddly, lubricant does not seem to have the same effect.

Rob Uker
03-01-2017, 10:57 AM
This is a surprisingly difficult question to answer.
I'm an on line extrovert and a live in person introvert.
When I was young I played in bands and liked to put on a show.
Since playing ukulele I've really become more in touch with playing what I like and not what an audience or band mates want's to hear.
I don't perform live anymore but I do post videos on my facebook and I'm gitty when ever I get a positive reaction.

janeray1940
03-01-2017, 05:14 PM
Is being introverted and being antisocial the same? If not, I think that sometimes the two get confused.

Most definitely not! Being introverted also gets confused with being shy, being standoffish, and being unfriendly, among other things I've been accused of over the years.


This is the case with dogs too.

Funny thing, after a lifetime of cat ownership I briefly had dogs (roommates' pets) some years ago and never did get comfortable with the way dogs prompt random strangers to approach their human. Although I love dogs (and just about all pets), I definitely don't recommend them for a person who dislikes small talk :)

TCK
03-01-2017, 06:03 PM
Introvert...until I hit record on my camera and grab my ukulele. I am a YouTUbe/Seasons extrovert. It has served me well.

bratsche
03-01-2017, 07:08 PM
Total introvert here... and being a professional musician, I would rather play alone in front of a group of people than talk to them! Socially, I am only talkative in small groups of 3 or 4. Any more than that, and I just sit and listen (or pretend to, if they're boring. lol). When alone, which is all too rare, I prefer peace and quiet. Playing my instruments or interacting with the cats is okay, but I mean no TV, no radio, no recorded music. Silence truly is golden! My preferred communication is by e-mail, so I can edit and write out precisely what I mean before sending, and not have it come out wrong. And I really hate talking on the phone. If I have to initiate a business call to a stranger, I have to write myself a script first, and then read it while trying to make it sound like I'm just speaking. The risk of getting tongue-tied is just too great.

bratsche

Rllink
03-04-2017, 07:15 AM
I deleted all of my earlier posts, except one, because after reading through all the comments and all the references, and thinking about it, I am finding it impossible to label myself. I don't think that I fit in any of them and I'm not leaning toward anything.

darkedhunter
03-04-2017, 07:25 AM
Sociallly anxious introvert reporting in. In general kinda perfer to keep to myself. Sharing my music with others is very fun, but I feel like I've shared a piece of me and as such it kinda wipes me out.

mikelz777
03-04-2017, 08:25 AM
I have to say that I'm surprised to see the responses skewing so heavily toward the introvert side. I would have guessed that they would be fairly evenly balanced or skewing the other way.

There seem to be some who are averse to categorizing themselves. I don't think anyone should feel totally locked into a specific category or description. I'm an INTJ on the Briggs Meyers thing and I think that it is a very accurate description for me most of the time. I'm sure there are times when that description would be fluid and move/flow but how I look at it is what's going on in my head/inner dialog. There may be times when I appear confident, comfortable and outgoing (and sometimes I am) among others on the outside but my inner dialog would probably betray that appearance the majority of the time. If I'm making small talk with someone I may appear to be doing fine on the outside but inside I'm 60% listening and 40% frantically thinking of what to say in response to the conversation or what I should say when the current topic changes or dies out. I even may be searching for and weighing exit strategies depending on how it's going. How come I feel like I'm the one who needs to keep the conversation going despite knowing that a conversation is a two-way street? Maybe part of it is putting too much pressure on myself. Anyway, on the uke front, I still hope to work up the nerve to play with a uke group someday.

Introverts unite! (Except let's do it separately in our own individual homes! ;))

Debussychopin
03-04-2017, 08:38 AM
There may be times when I appear confident, comfortable and outgoing (and sometimes I am) among others on the outside but my inner dialog would probably betray that appearance the majority of the time. If I'm making small talk with someone I may appear to be doing fine on the outside but inside I'm 60% listening and 40% frantically thinking of what to say in response to the conversation or what I should say when the current topic changes or dies out. I even may be searching for and weighing exit strategies depending on how it's going. How come I feel like I'm the one who needs to keep the conversation going despite knowing that a conversation is a two-way street? Maybe part of it is putting too much pressure on myself. Anyway, on the uke front, I still hope to work up the nerve to play with a uke group someday.

Introverts unite! (Except let's do it separately in our own individual homes! ;))

This is very interesting. I believe all of us is to degree like this and is one thing that causes social anxiety, which is fear of rejection.

Croaky Keith
03-04-2017, 08:39 AM
......... Anyway, on the uke front, I still hope to work up the nerve to play with a uke group someday.

Introverts unite! (Except let's do it separately in our own individual homes! ;))

Time to join in with the Seasons - give it a go - I did. :)

mikelz777
03-04-2017, 09:18 AM
Time to join in with the Seasons - give it a go - I did. :)

That might actually be an excellent step in the right direction for me. I actually took a baby step in that direction the other day. I took a couple of videos for the first time using my iphone and I didn't totally cringe at the results while watching them. My reaction at watching them was actually more positive than I anticipated. It would probably be a headless video if I moved forward. (My uke is better looking than me anyway! ;)) My next step would be figuring out how to get a video onto YouTube and then to UU. Does YouTube allow video editing?

PlastikUke
03-04-2017, 09:38 AM
Does YouTube allow video editing?Yes, youtube has its own video editor.

j.roth
03-04-2017, 10:09 AM
I am (and this is real) an ambivert. That is someone with fairly equal qualities associated with introverts and extroverts. It depends on the day and situation which side I lean towards.