Ukulele as a deadly instrument?

UkeStuff

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Haha! In my hands, this might not be far from the truth. :biglaugh:
 
Yes, the ukulele is well known as an instrument of mass delight.
 
As an instrument of mass destruction, A uke couldn't hold a candle to a banjo.
 
Compared to the damage a violin or a clarinet can do in the wrong hands, an ukulele is relatively harmless.

Picking up a famous line by Woody Guthrie, I always thought the right thing to write on an ukuele would be "This machine doesn't kill".
 
I always keep a ukulele close to the bed, partly for playing but also because I figure that when the zombie apocalypse arrives a uke would be fairly handy for cudgelling marauding undead.
 
I always keep a ukulele close to the bed, partly for playing but also because I figure that when the zombie apocalypse arrives a uke would be fairly handy for cudgelling marauding undead.

Just play "When I'm Cleaning Windows" or "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" (sung in a falsetto voice, of course). That should seem them off :smileybounce:
 
There's a guy I'd like to kill
If he doesn't stop I will
He's got a ukulele, and a voice that's loud and shrill
'Cause he lives next door to me
And he keeps me up till three
With his ukulele and a funny melody
Crazy words, crazy tune
All that you'll ever hear him croon
Vo-do-de-o, vo-do-de-o, do
Sits around, all night long
Sings the same words to every song
Vo-do-de-o, vo-do-de-o, do
His ukulele, daily
How he'll strum! Bum bum bum!
Vampin' and stampin'
Then he hollers, "Black bottom!"
Crazy words, crazy tune
He'll be driving me crazy soon
Vo-do-de-o, vo-do-de-o, do
I have begged that guy to stop
I have even called a cop
Told my dog "Go sic him", but the durn dog
wouldn't go
But tonight will be the end
Yes siree, 'cause I intend
To go up and kick him in the vo-do-de-o, do
 




Scooter
 
39 Axe Ukulele June 2016.jpg
This is my most deadly uke.
 
This gives a whole new prospective to the descriptive terms, "warm" and "bright" for a ukulele.
 
Ha ha what a funny thread!
Love the "axe"....
 
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