Warning:
Some old (and generally tacky) groaners I reprocessed from other sites about musicians other than uke players:
Warning #2:
This is gonna take forever. Do you know how many ukulele player jokes there are??
Actually, just one. The rest are true stories.
What do you call a beautiful woman on a ukulele player's arm?
A tattoo.
What do a ukulele and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone's happy when the case is closed.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show a ukulele player that it could be done.
Why don't ukulele players tell blonde jokes?
They don't understand them.
Son: “Mom, I want to grow up and be a ukulele player.”
Mother: “Well, honey, you can't have both, you know.”
What's the difference between a savings bond and ukulele player?
The savings bond will eventually grow up and earn money.
Why did the Boy Scout take up the ukulele?
They make good paddles.
How do you get a ukulele player to stop playing?
Put some sheet music in front of him.
Why are most of the above jokes one liners?
So we ukulele players can understand them!