Brother-in-Law Blues...

S11LKO

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Well, in my last ever post relating to him - and probably the last ever time I put myself out to speak to him (I've now given up being tolerant and Mr Nice Guy where HE is concerned!) - I have to tell you all that my aforementioned completely non-playing, non-singing brother-in-law has returned to form.

I recently covered a song (I posted it in the guitar section here as well as elsewhere) and was delighted to find last night that the original singer/songwriter has liked my version (even though I had a bad cold when doing it lol).

So, obviously, I was keen to share my excitement of this news with others. I WhatsApped my family and friends...

Me: "Dean Friedman has just liked on Twitter my version of one of his songs!!! Coming from one of the greatest singer/songwriters of this century, I’m both chuffed and honoured!!! Widen that doorway for my head, will ya? lolololol x"

Brother-in-law Law: "Now why the f*** would he do that... Why the f*** would he even look at it lol... It's a bit like normal people 'liking' some money kid singing Dancing Queen just because of the disability lol Maybe a bit harsh, but...."

I fully understand that for everyone who likes what any of us do, there are others who don't enjoy it. That's a matter of personal taste and it applies to all of us.

But why do some people feel the need to run down and belittle other people's joy and 'accomplishments' whenever the opportunity arrives? There's enough nastiness in this world already with anyone else deliberately adding to it, isn't there?
 
It is the old craps in the bucket scenario, when one crap climbs to the top the others pull him down.

Winners lift people up......losers pull people down
 
Well I'm impressed. Nice one!
 
Don't let his sxxtty attitude diminish your joy. When he posted that comment, the whole family saw it and knew what a jerk he is. You don't have to respond to crap like that and sink to his level.
 
Wow that guy must have suffered some trauma as a kid. Like did his dad put him down all the time? He is so jealous and hurting. His comment is a reflection of the bubble he lives in. What a sad place to live. You, just keep on strumming.

And forgot to mention I enjoy your videos, always well done.
 
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Don’t waste your time or energy worrying about people who are so negative. Concentrate on the positive and forget the rest.
 
Wow that guy must have suffered some trauma as a kid. Like did his dad put him down all the time? He is so jealous and hurting. His comment is a reflection of the bubble he lives in. What a sad place to live. You, just keep on strumming.

My parents were the kind that whatever I did was not good enough, always dwelled on what's bad, no positive reinforcement, and even though I grew up being insecure and with low self esteem, my effort was to always try harder and please everybody, do exactly the opposite of what they did, be nice to people.

I've come to the point where I'm much more secure, but there are times when I fall back. My sister-in-law (married to my identical twin brother) and my cousin visiting from Toronto asked me to play uke for them a few years ago. I started her favorite song, Iz's version of "Over the Rainbow," but she and my cousin broke into laughter (I didn't have much confidence in my singing), I stopped, they just kept laughing and didn't even pay attention that I stopped.

Since then, being a member of a singing uke group, I've become much more secure with my singing, but I'll never play for my sister-in-law or cousin again.


8 tenor cutaway ukes, 3 acoustic bass ukes, 8 solid body bass ukes, 7 mini electric bass guitars

• Donate to The Ukulele Kids Club, they provide ukuleles to children's hospital music therapy programs. http://www.theukc.org
• Member The CC Strummers: https://www.youtube.com/user/CCStrummers/videos
 
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Thanks for the input and nice comments everyone, all appreciated, and I feel genuinely sorry that it seems some of you have experienced similar reactions from people who are supposed to be our friends and relatives.
He’s my wife’s brother.

It has been at times somewhat difficult for me recently as it has also become ‘fashionable’ for my gang of ‘friends’ to jokingly mock my playing and singing; but at least I know with them it’s only banter, not vindictive as with him.

But the danger in such ‘mockery’ - even if meant good naturedly - is that if the recipient lacks a little in confidence, damage can be done. I love to watch people making music of whatever type and enjoying themselves. The pleasure for me is watching and listening to THEM getting pleasure from doing it. On the odd occasion I’ve attended an open mic, I always make a point of applauding EVERYONE who performs, WHATEVER their level of ability. It takes no extra effort and makes them feel good.

I’m lucky in that I also have a number of people who DO enjoy what I do and tell me so; many of them members of this site - and I am very grateful for that.

I don’t really let detractors get to me or affect me as that would give them a power over me that I don’t want them to have. I also enjoy doing what I do too much, like ALL of us here or we wouldn’t do it, would we?

I’ve never liked bullies, and still don’t...especially when they’re supposed to be friends or family.

He can go do one from now on. :agree:
 
I have heard it said that there are more sociopaths outside of prison than in. I guess we all run into too many people who have absolutely no empathy nor manners. They have a saying here in Australia “I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire”. I think of that saying often when I run into people like your brother in law and chuckle inside.
 
Dave, I am amazed by the adverse criticism from your friends to your music. I think you are one hell of a performer! A bit baffled really!
As they say in Yorkshire "Dont let them grind you down".
Keep at it......you will have the last laugh!
Regards Mike
 
I'll "second" Mike's thoughts, and everyone else's, Dave. In a way, I kind of feel sorry for your bro-in-law, because he's probably a little jealous of your musical gift, and it seems that, so often, that leads to a person "talking down" the guy toward whom he feels that jealousy. Maybe if you offer to "teach him a few chords", he'd gain a better appreciation of the skill and practice required to develop into a competent uke player, and would thus be less prone to dish out the wisecracks. Of course, it's also possible, I realize, that it's just not that easy to get through to some folks. But in any event, don't let it get you down! Play (and sing) on !!!
 
Cheers holisdwyer for that saying - I’m giggling inside now too. lol

Thanks Mike for the praise...I think I love you. lol

Thanks Bill - I have no intention of stopping. He’ll just have to deal with it! lol
 
Who cares what your brother-in-law thinks? He seems a bit of a putz to be honest.
 
I still want his photo so we can throw darts at him....I will aim for the eyes.


WAIT...I AM TOO SHORT. I will aim at the knees.
 
I love Dean's music. What song did you post? Too bad your brother in law threw so much shade your way. Sounds like Dean would make a very cool brother in law. Keep rockin!
 
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Hi Dave, was wondering if he's negative about other things besides your music. Could you exclude him from anything dealing with music? No sense sending him stuff that he can criticise.
Regards, Keith
 
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