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View Full Version : Share your Best/Favorite Yo momma jokes!



davoomac
03-25-2008, 04:12 AM
These are my favorite and the first ones I remember :D

Yo momma is so fat that when she rolled offa the bed, she rolled off BOTH sides.

Yo momma is so fat that when she jumped for joy, she got stuck.

Yo momma's teeth are so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter.

Yo momma's so fat that when she wears a red shirt all the kids go "koolaid! koolaid!"

Yo momma's so fat that when I swerved to miss her, I ran outta gas.

Yo momma's so fat that when I tried to drive around her, I had to stop and ask for directions.

Yo momma has so many chins that she keeps a bookmark in her mouth so she can remember where to stuff the food.

Fred Miu
03-25-2008, 04:19 AM
ok we can stop talking about my mom now...

dafamcallsmebj
05-20-2008, 05:42 AM
one in always use is...
ur momma so fat wen she was crossing the street a bus hit her.. she turned around n sed who threww that rock!!!
hahah

dnewton2
05-20-2008, 06:14 AM
Ok lets get off mommas, cause I just got off yours.

I don't know why but I love that one.:D

adellethegreat
05-20-2008, 06:40 AM
Yo mama so fat that when she got lost, her picture was on all 4 sides of the milk carton :uhoh:

<~/UkeDude\~>
05-20-2008, 02:14 PM
Yo momma's so fat, it takes two buses and a shuttle to get on her good side!
HAha a friend told me that one xP

Rubbertoe
05-20-2008, 02:38 PM
Yo momma's so stupid, she took the Pepsi Challenge and chose Jif!

Kateri
05-20-2008, 02:43 PM
Yo mama so poor, I saw her kicking a can down the street, and when I asked her what she was doing she said "moving."

yo mama so poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other peoples fingers!

davoomac
05-20-2008, 02:47 PM
bahahaha! I haven't heard those before! :D

menehunenyc
05-20-2008, 03:29 PM
ok we can stop talking about my mom now...

Really guys, I think Fred's mom has had all she can take....:(

Phil Major
05-20-2008, 04:52 PM
I think it was in some movie... I cant remember, but use your imagination:

Yo momma so ugly... well.. you dont have a momma, so, well, thats not really funny I guess...

Fred Miu
05-20-2008, 05:07 PM
Really guys, I think Fred's mom has had all she can take....:(

AW YOU MUTHA F- haha kidding.


man....you momma is SOO FAT....God cant even lift her spirit.


yo momma is so fat that i cant even make a joke about her

Misguided Musician
05-20-2008, 05:07 PM
Yo momma is so fat that her belt size is equator.
Yo momma is so fat that when she hopped on a scale it said "One at a time please."
Yo momma is so fat and Ugly that when she arrived in China, the locals said "Godzilla!!!!!"

tori8984
05-20-2008, 06:03 PM
Yo momma so fat, she can't wear an "X" jacket because helicopters keep trying to land on her back.

UkuLeLesReggAe
05-20-2008, 09:02 PM
Ok lets get off mommas, cause I just got off yours.

I don't know why but I love that one.:D

MInes kind of similar but a bit more rude... actually A LOT more rude - your momma so black no jokes were found =]

i think i said that before haha

NukeDOC
05-20-2008, 09:17 PM
yo momma so fat, when she was born the world tilted.

yo momma so fat, she uses hula hoops to hole up her socks.

yo momma lips so big, when she smiles, she wets her hair.

yo momma lips so big, she gotta wear a visor outdoors. not to keep the sun out of her eyes... to keep birds from sh*tt*ng on 'em.

yo momma so old, she played at central park when it was just a plant.

yo momma so ugly, gotta tie a steak around her neck for the family dog to play with her.

yo momma so skinny, i gave her a hug one day, and my arms went around her twice.

yo momma so short, she gotta cuff her panties.

yo momma so fat, she turned on the radio and started dancing and the record skipped at the station.

yo momma got a small house. so small, we ordered a large pizza and had to eat it outside.

yo momma so dumb, she asked what kinda jeans i was wearing. i said "Guess". she said, "ummm, are they levi's?"

yo momma so fat, she must put mayonaise on her aspirin.

and these were just off the top of my head.

davoomac
05-20-2008, 09:18 PM
Yo momma is so fat and Ugly that when she arrived in China, the locals said "Godzilla!!!!!"

China? you mean japan? haha

Guting
05-20-2008, 09:24 PM
yo momma teef so big wen she sneeze, she bite her titty.

Guting
05-20-2008, 09:24 PM
China? you mean japan? haha

lol misguided indeed.

Howlin Hobbit
05-21-2008, 09:11 AM
When you're reading all these one-liners to your family/significant other/cat/whatever you need this link (http://www.instantrimshot.com/).

davoomac
05-21-2008, 12:04 PM
When you're reading all these one-liners to your family/significant other/cat/whatever you need this link (http://www.instantrimshot.com/).

Hobbit, Thanks for sharing that incredible resource!! :D

jjsdad
05-21-2008, 06:25 PM
Yo momma so stupid that when someone said it was chilly outside, she brought a bowl.
Yo momma so stupid she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo momma so stupid she returned a puzzle and said it was broken.

virginia_barkley
05-22-2008, 09:19 AM
Yo momma so fat you can use the elastic on her panties to bungee jump

Yo momma so greasy she uses bacon for bandaids

Yo momma so dumb, I taught her the running man and haven't seen her since

Yo momma so hairy her nipples have afros

BUGOY
05-22-2008, 11:31 AM
my favorite response to any yo momma joke:

"well if thats my momma, then you must be my DAD!"