i'm wicked scared posting this...

It's great. I like it a lot. I'd just repeat the second and third stanzas.
 
It's great. I like it a lot. I'd just repeat the second and third stanzas.
thanks for your response... so you think it's worth keeping? 'cause if so then perhaps i will work on it sometime and make it longer...
 
thanks for your response... so you think it's worth keeping? 'cause if so then perhaps i will work on it sometime and make it longer...

Absolutely it's worth keeping. Without a doubt.
 
thank you so much. i shall work on it some time... try to make it a little longer and stuffs.

You don't need much more. I'd work on it right now, or you'll never finish it.

All you need is one more stanza similar in length and cadence to the first and second stanzas. Repeat the third stanza, and you're done.

Then you can get to writing the music. Do it now! While it's still fresh.
 
You don't need much more. I'd work on it right now, or you'll never finish it.

All you need is one more stanza similar in length and cadence to the first and second stanzas. Repeat the third stanza, and you're done.

Then you can get to writing the music. Do it now! While it's still fresh.
thank you so much seeso, i really appreciate your help. i have worked on it a bit and have got it to about 3 mins without changing too much. i honestly can't for the life of me think of another verse to put in there! i have the basic chords i wanna use, i've just gotta work on it 'cause there's not really a chorus so it's just the same 4 chords right through. i'm gonna work on the lyrics for a bit more and if nothing comes then i will have to work on it another time (it's kinda late)
also, i edited my original post 'cause i'm embarrassed about people reading it- stupid, i know. i really do appreciate the help you've given me, thanks a lot!
 
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