Shoes by Charles Bukowski

wee_ginga_yin

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Low budget Karate Grandad sings Kung fu international

I decided to do another entry for the low budget spiderman
contest. I used a very low budget scottish accent, and kept
the video resolution to a minimum.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgxKJ0W2ieM

For those of you how might have troubles with the accent
I append the lyrics of the John Cooper Clarke poem here.


Kung Fu International

Outside the take-away, Saturday night
a bald adolescent, asks me out for a fight
He was no bigger than a two-penny fart
he was a deft exponent of the martial art
He gave me three warnings:
Trod on me toes, stuck his fingers in my eyes
and kicked me in the nose
A rabbit punch made me eyes explode
My head went dead, I fell in the road

I pleaded for mercy
I wriggled on the ground
he kicked me in the balls
and said something profound
Gave my face the millimetre tread
Stole me chop suey and left me for dead

Through rivers of blood and splintered bones
I crawled half a mile to the public telephone
pulled the corpse out the call box, held back the bile
and with a broken index finger, I proceeded to dial

I couldnt get an ambulance
the phone was screwed
The receiver fell in half
it had been kung fud

A black belt karate cop opened up the door
demanding information about the stiff on the floor
he looked like an extra from Yang Shang Po
he said Whats all this then
ah so, ah so, ah so.
he wore a bamboo mask
he was genned on zen
He finished his devotions and he beat me up again

Thanks to that embryonic Bruce Lee
Im a shadow of the person that I used to be
I cant go back to Salford
the cops have got me marked
Enter the Dragon
Exit Johnny Clarke
 
I decided to do another entry for the low budget spiderman
contest. I used a very low budget scottish accent, and kept
the video resolution to a minimum.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgxKJ0W2ieM

For those of you how might have troubles with the accent
I append the lyrics of the John Cooper Clarke poem here.


Kung Fu International

Outside the take-away, Saturday night
a bald adolescent, asks me out for a fight
He was no bigger than a two-penny fart
he was a deft exponent of the martial art
He gave me three warnings:
Trod on me toes, stuck his fingers in my eyes
and kicked me in the nose
A rabbit punch made me eyes explode
My head went dead, I fell in the road

I pleaded for mercy
I wriggled on the ground
he kicked me in the balls
and said something profound
Gave my face the millimetre tread
Stole me chop suey and left me for dead

Through rivers of blood and splintered bones
I crawled half a mile to the public telephone
pulled the corpse out the call box, held back the bile
and with a broken index finger, I proceeded to dial

I couldnt get an ambulance
the phone was screwed
The receiver fell in half
it had been kung fud

A black belt karate cop opened up the door
demanding information about the stiff on the floor
he looked like an extra from Yang Shang Po
he said Whats all this then
ah so, ah so, ah so.
he wore a bamboo mask
he was genned on zen
He finished his devotions and he beat me up again

Thanks to that embryonic Bruce Lee
Im a shadow of the person that I used to be
I cant go back to Salford
the cops have got me marked
Enter the Dragon
Exit Johnny Clarke

This was too funny! Commented over on YouTube also. :D

CountryMouse
 
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