Why Aldrine always wears a hat

I knew there had to be a reason. I mean, he lives in Hawaii- why wear a hat?
 
I don't think I get this joke... :nana:
 
I think Aldrine looks very "sophisticated" with his hat. Perhaps one day it will be in the "Smithsonian Institute" in DC
 
After seeing what is under the hat...I am surprised the hat even fits or stays on!!! (LOL)
 
I think..., I think..., (sorry Aldrine)
Okay, here goes. I think that particular hairstyle was designed with cooling in mind. You see 9 years ago the Aldrine project was started with the sole goal being "World Domination" (dun dun duunh!) The Hawaiian govt. along with the Chinese in association with Musicguymic and various other uke manufacturers worldwide found out about a curious phenomenon. When learning to play the ukulele, the human mind begins to open up becoming very susceptible to outside influences. That was good for their nefarious plans, but they weren't satisfied so they took it even further. After much study they determined that a pinky mute along with a an U U D U X U D strum along with a few certain chord variations (all of them including E for some reason) leaves the mind wide open and easily controlled. BADOW! That was what they wanted all along. Now they had to figure out how to distribute this delivery system to the masses. Thats when the Aldrine Project was originally thought up. They needed a way to make people want to deliver themselves over. "How da heck we gon make dis work brah?" were words that were bandied around many times at the U.U headquarters. Then one morning in the pre-dawn Hawaiian light the evil Master Chicken (yes it was "that" chicken) came up with an epiphany. "Eureka, I've got it! What we need is an Aldrine!" he shouted into the chill morning air (actually it was "Squaaaaaarka bok bok" but it means the same thing in chicken.) ALDRINE: Autonated Lovable Dude Reeducating Inbeciles Ninds Externally. (please no flames, his words not mine, that chicken has no damn respect for any of us, and oh yeah it's not a misspelling a chicken cannot form the letter m). Soon after the first Aldrine rolled off the assembly line.
In the early days of the Aldrine Project the main problem they had was overheating. Whenever the earlier models tried a particularly tricky lik the processor would overheat the Aldrine in question would assume a falsetto voice and switch into "Tiptoe" mode (after all a tandy trs-80 was never meant for such complicated procedures, but it was the only computer the chicken could afford. "I can has some money, squaawk?" "Get away from me ya damn broke assed chicken!") Thus you never saw the Aldrine without his hat. The hat was an early attempt at external cooling (watch the older vids, you can hear the cooling fans and other machinery grinding away.) What you are witnessing in Uke Got Mail ep51 is the most advanced version of the Aldrine. Self cooled, self contained with heat sink fins standing proud. Quite a marvel of modern engineering.
Just sayin...
Before you attempt to disprove my theory ask yourself "Five years ago did I even know what koa wood was? Aquilla? Would I wake in the middle of the night and think about a uke? Would I ever dream about spending an ungodly sum on a ukulele? Would I ever consider spending hours on ebay looking at freakin ukuleles drooling? Lamenting the fact that you don't have $800" I don't think so. Face it peeps, the chickens' got you. Beware the chicken.
"I can has your nind? Sqwaaaaawk!"

p.s.
I'm bald and jealous Aldrine
 
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