My Uke Totaled a Car

Skitzic

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Well ok, not really. But I think the woman next door thinks I'm cursed or something.

I'm working on my first original song (written specifically for the uke) and it's called Crash. I was working on the song last night, and I heard a popping sound followed by the screech of tires, followed by that distinctive crunch of breaking car. So, ukulele and cell phone in hand I bolt out my front door to see if anyone was hurt.

The kid was ok, so while I was talking to the cops on the phone I went back inside to put the uke away. Then I realized I was outside in my pajama pants and tank top...so I threw on a sweat shirt and went back outside to tell them the fuzz was on the way.

The kid's tire rod broke and he lost control. So he jumped the curb in front of my house, turfed up the front yard (coming within a foot of my porch), hit the corner of my neighbor's house, and landed in her garden. There is a huge chunk of siding missing from her house, a good chunk of gutter is gone, but she was really pissed off that the face she had on a stump was missing. This face/stump was named Wilbur. You could tell the kid felt SO bad.

Anyway, she comes up to me after the kid leaves (and after we find Wilbur in her garden full of cacti) and says she heard me playing a song and I sung about crashing in the chorus. She would appreciate if I stopped playing that song (it's hard to tell if she was kidding or not...she's an odd duck).

I believe she may actually think my song caused this crash.

End story.

Note: no ukes were harmed in the duration of this event. -Thank you
 
I'm glad that no ukes were harmed. Maybe you should write a song about Wilbur and see if she'll let you play it.
 
I'm glad that no ukes were harmed. Maybe you should write a song about Wilbur and see if she'll let you play it.

Hm, I will have to ponder that. I think it would end up being sarcastic and she would hate me even more...

Although it kind of freaks me out she hears me enough to know lyrics to a song I just started writing the other night. Our windows have been closed and I know I don't sing that loud...

...I didn't think about that last night. She's stalking me.
 
Hm, I will have to ponder that. I think it would end up being sarcastic and she would hate me even more...

Although it kind of freaks me out she hears me enough to know lyrics to a song I just started writing the other night. Our windows have been closed and I know I don't sing that loud...

...I didn't think about that last night. She's stalking me.

Whisper 2000?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCtysRERRCY
 
If a butterfly flapping its wings in China can create a hurricane in Florida or whatever, why couldn't the mojo of your uke combined with a song titled "Crash" cause a crash? The universe does have a seriously perverse sense of humor.

OR

Maybe your innate psychic ability foresaw the crash and hence you were subconsciously inspired to write the song. ;)

Dig a little into string theory (quantum physics, not uke strings) and you may end up thinking "Well of course".
 
Crazy story! I am getting supersitious that things I think about seem to happen too. LIke self-fulfilling prophesy! (Enter Twilight Zone music here)

Can you start thinking about a truck load of money stopping by my house to make a delivery.
 
LOL! Write a song about her winning the lottery and moving to Fiji...just make darn sure she hears it...LOUDLY...(and in tune if you must!) That oughta change her mind...errmm, if she does win, can you sing it for me? *Fiji...ahhhhhh!*
 
Wasn't there a Twilight Zone episode about a little boy that just had to imagine things to make them true?
Starred Billy Mumy.
Everyone had to be oh so careful so that he wouldn't get upset.

I'm sure it's a wonderful song, and you are the best of neighbors.

angry_billy_mumy.png
 
The neighbor was kidding. Finish the song. (Even if the neighbor wasn't kidding, ignore her, finish the song.) Let nothing stop you from finishing your first, 'cause then you'll really want to write a second, etc., etc.
 
I took my Pineapple Flea to an indoor sports centre today. She was playing my uke.
And all of a sudden, a soccer ball few into her face. Bent up her glasses :(
It was shocking and sad xD
 
I took my Pineapple Flea to an indoor sports centre today. She was playing my uke.
And all of a sudden, a soccer ball few into her face. Bent up her glasses :(
It was shocking and sad xD

I don't need to be playing a uke for my face to attract sports equipment (I almost typed balls, but I decided that would open me up to WAY too many bad jokes). Gym class was terrible. I don't think I went a week in high school without bent / broken glasses. Maybe I'll write a song about all the sports equipment in the world suddenly turning into ukuleles...
 
She is definitely stalking you. Go back outside and look for ear-prints on your walls and windows.

Finish the song and add some "interesting parts" and see what she has to say about them...

hmmm, maybe that would make her listen more


gotta love neighbors
 
At least she's not as bad as the woman who lived under me in my last apartment. She would read my mail, call the land lord and tell him that I was keeping a monkey in my bedroom that was coming down and stealing HER mail. Told me I had to get rid of my cat because he made too much noise walking. She really needed to be in a home.

As long as this woman doesn't reach those weirdness levels, she can listen all she wants. She's going to hear a lot she's going to wish she didn't though.
 
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