Most annoying song on the planet, please...

UncleElvis

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Heya... I just got cast in a play as, literally, the most annoying man in the world.
(It's not that hard, because he's also the ONLY man in the world... and the only other person in the world is his ex-wife.)
It starts with him being silly on a bullhorn, then some banter, then they sit down and play cards.
I need bits of business during this part, so it doesn't get all "Two people talking on stage"... stuff to do, scenery to chew, and thought, hey! why not play my ukulele?

So, I put it to you, UUers!

If you were stuck with your annoying ex as the last two people on the planet, what's the most annoying song you can think of... or, if you were stuck with your ex and you wanted to get under her skin, what song would you pick that would just make her want to punch you?

I thought "Five foot two, eyes of blue" would be funny, the "Has anybody seen my gal?" bit... given the context...

Hit me up, pipples!
 
I modified Five Foot Two to more correctly match my wife. It goes Five Foot Three, Eyes of brown...

So I suppose you could rewrite some simple lyrics. Start playing the song as written, then have her sarcastically say "Hey Genius, I'm taller than that and have brown eyes!" Then cut to a rendition of "Five foot six and eyes like sticks..."

It could work.
 
For me, the most annoying genre has to be "classic rock", and more specifically "progressive rock".

So I vote for- "Owner of a Lonely Heart" by Yes......... you might have to burn the uke afterwards.
 
Any song can be annoying if it's played annoyingly.

(Conversely, even the most annoying song can be played non-annoyingly. I think...)

That said, how about "My Humps"?


JJ
 
OOH! I like these suggestions...

Note, though:

I don't think we're gonna be adding lines, so it's gotta be, like, a one off gag, y'know? Sadly, this is for a writing competition, so we can't mess with the script.

Hm... would it be too hackneyed to do, like, the intro to Stairway, or "Smoke on the Water"?
Might be fun...

Keep 'em coming, mes amis!

The funnier (or possibly filthier! I'm lookin' at you, Miss Leather!) the better!
 
Oh, JT Ukes?

That's a great suggestion. The only problem is that my wife... the real one, not the character... would probably murder me in my sleep if I even hinted that I might think about possibly consider maybe being interested in thinking about even LISTENING to that song again, let alone learning it!

No... I have no idea why I was cast as the guy who pesters his wife into abstraction... why do you ask?
 
127 decibels of Livin' in the Sunlight, Lovin' in the Moonlight on my terrifying hybrid instrument, the ukuzela.
 
Sweet baby jeebus!

It's set AFTER the Apocalypse! Not about the unholy instrument that caused it!

(Ukuzela... a four stringed instrument, tuned to Bb, somehow only able to PLAY the Bb, no matter how intricate the fingering...

Horrific thought!)
 
What if instead of playing a song that was already annoying, you LEARNED a song... like throughout the play. Working on it... getting closer and closer to playing it all the way through... THAT could be annoying.
 
Well hearing "Breakfast at Tiffany's" once almost puts me into a homicidal rage. Over and over again I would snap! LOL! :)
 
"Tiptoe through the Tulips" by Tiny Whats-his-name.

 
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"Folk music" (esp. of the late 50's and 60's, not true folk music BTW of various cultures worldwide). Dip into the film "A Mighty Wind" for some satirical inspiration...or John Belushi's reaction to "I gave my love a cherry..." in the movie "Animal House."

Hands down, "folk music" (of the "A Mighty Wind" category) is and was the most pretentious self-regarding music of all time...

What's interesting to me BTW is how someone like Bob Dylan used the folk music movement to his own ends, and frankly, glad he did. These Puritans in disguise, carried away by prelest (spiritual delusion) really deserved it.
 
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One day time travels will be no more impossible. When I go back to the eighties, "Last Christmas" shall never be written!
 
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