PDA

View Full Version : Teenage bribery leads to joy & disappointment



Swampy Steve
07-22-2010, 03:15 AM
Weird title I know. My daughter is 14 and I so want her to play a instrument. So I told her the other nite I would pay her 5 bucks for each chord she learned. I figured that wold be a easy way to get her interested . I showed her C, F and G7 and in 30 minutes she was switching between chords following me in playing a chord progresssion{she did insist on using a pickthough} . Strumming like she knew what she was doing , after giving her the "loose wrist inst."Then she wanted to learn some more chords for more money. I asked "Is the money the only reason ,your learning this?" she said yes, Im not really into playing music Dad. I guess I got what I paid for :(
Whats frustrating is that Ive seen people struggle to learn what she did almost instantly. But she doesnt care about it. I guess you never know what to expect w/ a 14 yr old girl.
My only hope is that she will somehow be drawn back to it, at a later date.
Oh well , I gave it my best shot
Steve

arashi_nero
07-22-2010, 04:20 AM
don't fret. most people do come around. plus, she's a teenager: they don't want to do anything you want them to. my parents forced me to play piano when i was little (4-9) and i hated it. they gave me the option to quit (which i wish they wouldn't have) but starting to learn the piano helped me to become interested in playing other instruments later on. now music is a huge part of my life. my son who's 5 is really in to the uke right now, so i'm teaching him. i hope he keeps up with it, but i know he'll have times of not playing. i think my wife is going to really start pushing the piano on him soon too (he's showing interest there as well). as long as you're crazy into music, you're kids will be too at some point.

lindydanny
07-22-2010, 04:37 AM
Pay her to learn and perform a song. She can choose it, you help her find tabs/chords for it, and she performs it for you and mom when she's ready. Say that it is a one time thing, but if she would like to learn more you could "work something out".

Might surprise her if she suddenly liked playing today's latest hits... That's how I got hooked on guitar in high school. (That and there was this girl...)

~DB

Skitzic
07-22-2010, 04:50 AM
As a girl who remembers being a 14 year old girl...don't push it on her. Music isn't something you can force on someone.

You gave it a shot. When she hits the real rough teenage years tell her music is therapeutic and your instrument is -here- if she ever wants it.

farmerboy
07-22-2010, 05:21 AM
I teach classrooms full of kids like this but they nearly always feel proud but don't want to show it. If you feel proud of something you've done, you'll come back to it in your own time. I wouldn't worry too much. Give it time. It's not in many teenagers' nature to be positive even if they've done something they like!

Swampy Steve
07-22-2010, 06:01 AM
Ok, the getting her to perform a song seems like a idea. Is there a tune popular w/ 14 yr old that isnt too hard on uke? Bubbly? The stuff she likes seems more hiphop than anything, not my thing but Im 49
any suggestions from younger females?
Steve

Harold O.
07-22-2010, 06:41 AM
My daughter asked to take guitar lessons a few years ago. She was about 12 or 13. Her teacher couldn't get her to play any complete songs. She kept asking about chords and notes and where they could be found on the fret board. It got to where she could form a chord, make it a 7th or add9 or minor or who-knows-what-all from almost anywhere on the the guitar.. I don't know that she ever played a complete song. Certainly not for me.

After awhile, she gave it up. I finally figured out that she was more interested in HOW the guitar worked than making it work herself. She had not thoughts on playing a particular song or learning about music theory. Her interest was strictly mechanical. Efforts at getting her to pick up a uke have proven pointless.

kenikas
07-22-2010, 07:11 AM
My experience with teens is all you can do is plant the seed. I tried with both of my sons to get them to play guitar with me, but as teens they really didn't want to. They've both become pretty good musicians (they're in their 30's now)

Keef
07-22-2010, 07:20 AM
through the eyes of a teen and most adults the uke really isnt cool

lindydanny
07-22-2010, 08:08 AM
Careful, Keef. That's a strong statement here...

~DB

spookefoote
07-22-2010, 08:14 AM
I've got an idea. Put a sticker of one of those vampire chappies off Twilight on the top. She'll pay more attention to that uke than anything else in this world.

spacecakegirl
07-22-2010, 08:14 AM
If it's any consolation, you just lost $15. At least she didn't get kind of excited to the point where you bought her a nice uke and then her excitement died, like it tends to do in teenage girls.

My parents bought me a guitar. 5 years later I gave it away for free on craigslist to a teenage girl. I hope when she gets tired of it, she does the same.

Ukuleles are getting cooler, though. My students love listening to me play and they love to mess around on my uke, and they are students at a school that has a reputation for being 'scary'.

Arashi
07-22-2010, 08:15 AM
I think the best way to get a kid into music is to play the music they like. I wasn't interested in learning the violin at first because I thought it was all just symphonies. Then I heard a violin playing in a song, and I got kinda in to it. Does she know about Ukulele Underground? If you tell her about it she might feel more comfortable knowing that other people play the same instrument. Don't introduce someone to a new instrument, let the instrument introduce itself :)

Keef
07-22-2010, 08:41 AM
through the eyes of a teen and most adults the uke really isnt cool
it was stated Careful, Keef. That's a strong statement here...

~DB
thats ok I understand that almost everyone reading this loves ukes but this community is just a tiny concentration of the general population

I also hang out in a go Kart racing site and even though they all live and die for racing karts they are just a little hobby nitch too.
.
hence my statment

102263
07-22-2010, 08:49 AM
The stuff she likes seems more hiphop than anything

I'm 16 and I love rap/hip hop and was extremely excited when i found out I could play it on the ukulele. Kanye West is one of the more popular artists I like. Here's one of his songs:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Co0tTeuUVhU&feature=avmsc2

Now here's the tutorial on the ukulele:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAEmvGV-FjA

There's tons more like this. If you just type the name of a popular song onto youtube followed by ukulele tutorial, there's a good chance you'll find a tutorial. If all you need is the chords, go to www.ultimate-guitar.com and type in the name of any song and you'll most likely get multiple versions of chords for the song. I love to play modern music on the ukulele, and there's not a lack of information on modern music for ukulele if you know where to look.

Keef
07-22-2010, 08:55 AM
102263 thanks that was a very useful post
unlike most of mine :)

Ukulele JJ
07-22-2010, 09:04 AM
My daughter is 14 and I so want her to play a instrument.

Well there's your problem. It doesn't matter if you want her to play an instrument.

Extrinsic rewards (like money) are a great way to motivate people, but it's notoriously tough to get anyone to intrinsically want something. They have to bring that to the table themselves. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't.

This is basic management stuff, but I'm pretty sure it applies to teenagers too. :-)

JJ

ukecantdothat
07-22-2010, 09:41 AM
Fifteen well spent bucks, those, IMO. Now she's been bitten by the flea as it were. The thing about kids is, they're much easier to teach than adults. Adults ask too many questions. "Why is it called an A# and not a Bb?" "Why can't I do it like this?" "Why did you just use your thumb?" "Why can't I use a pick?" "When are you going to show me how to play "I'm Yours?" "Why is it called chunking?" "Why do you triple strum that way, but that one does it that way?" "Which is better, playing over the soundhole or over the 12th fret?" "How come I'm always going out of tune?" "What kind of strings do I use?" Kids just listen and do it. Adults have a lot of boxes to fit things into. There's a lot of "Don't worry, we'll get to that," with beginning adults that you just don't get with kids, especially really young ones. The older we get, the "smarter" we get, hence we need to have answers!

Skitzic
07-22-2010, 09:59 AM
Five well spent bucks, those, IMO. Now she's been bitten by the flea as it were. The thing about kids is, they're much easier to teach than adults. Adults ask too many questions. "Why is it called an A# and not a Bb?" "Why can't I do it like this?" "Why did you just use your thumb?" "Why can't I use a pick?" "When are you going to show me how to play "I'm Yours?" "Why is it called chunking?" "Why do you triple strum that way, but that one does it that way?" "Which is better, playing over the soundhole or over the 12th fret?" "How come I'm always going out of tune?" "What kind of strings do I use?" Kids just listen and do it. Adults have a lot of boxes to fit things into. There's a lot of "Don't worry, we'll get to that," with beginning adults that you just don't get with kids, especially really young ones. The older we get, the "smarter" we get, hence we need to have answers!

...hey, I was the other way. When I was younger I wanted to know EVERYTHING...now I just want to know what I need to get by.

ukecantdothat
07-22-2010, 10:08 AM
...hey, I was the other way. When I was younger I wanted to know EVERYTHING...now I just want to know what I need to get by.

From I can tell, you're the exception to a lot of rules! I mean that in a good way... ;•)

bunnyflower
07-22-2010, 11:40 AM
Bubbly is definitely not too hard to play; I play that one sometimes. :)

I found with my kids that they do indeed like it better when playing songs they personally like, be it popular stuff on the radio, or anime theme songs. You can definitely find chords online for most things!

farmerboy
07-24-2010, 02:47 AM
In my experience Hey Ya! by Outkast is a great starter that everyone loves and admires. It's good fun to play too and only has four easy chords.

Swampy Steve
07-24-2010, 06:58 AM
Thanks all. Since the 1st post,,, I had the music to a Spongebob song F.U.N , and she looked at the chord charts and picked it up quick. But she did use her thumb to barre the D chord , aargh.. I think the first "lesson" sunk in,,, it will just take a while to bloom.
Steve

Ukulele JJ
07-24-2010, 08:26 AM
Great!

Now tell her that she is absolutely forbidden from playing the ukulele.

She'll be a virtuoso in no time. :-)

JJ

Skitzic
07-24-2010, 12:57 PM
From I can tell, you're the exception to a lot of rules! I mean that in a good way... ;•)

Thanks...I think!

ogeva
07-24-2010, 09:13 PM
A question:
Why would you want her to play an instrument?
Not that I wouldn't want my boy (who is 1 months now) to play, and he sure likes to play (or bang) my guitars -
But why would you want her to play?

Swampy Steve
07-26-2010, 03:38 AM
A question:
Why would you want her to play an instrument?
Not that I wouldn't want my boy (who is 1 months now) to play, and he sure likes to play (or bang) my guitars -
But why would you want her to play?

Theres many reasons.
I cannot count the hours of enjoyment that playing music have provided me. The challenges and then accomplishments afforded to me by different instruments, the fun at family gatherings where my sis, nephew, neice all play instruments and sing. I could go on and on.

Seems to me a better question would be ,
"WHY WOULDNT YOU WANT YOUR KID TO PLAY A INSTRUMENT'.
but that just me.

and yes ,, there is also the desire to jam , with my favorite person :)
Steve

ogeva
07-26-2010, 11:07 AM
Yeah, you don't have to convince me.
But the amount of enjoyment you had is irrelevant if it's of no interest to her.
BTW - my boy is 11 months old, not 1 as I wrote by mistake. He has his own uke, and also picks (and bangs) on electric, acoustic and classical guitars ;-)

Harold O.
07-26-2010, 01:17 PM
There's a fair amount of explanation going on in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZa7hU6tP_s

The general message is what has been said in this thread—stuff that dad's do is weird. And we used to be so cool...