Teenage bribery leads to joy & disappointment

Swampy Steve

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 29, 2010
Messages
460
Reaction score
0
Location
Houston TX
Weird title I know. My daughter is 14 and I so want her to play a instrument. So I told her the other nite I would pay her 5 bucks for each chord she learned. I figured that wold be a easy way to get her interested . I showed her C, F and G7 and in 30 minutes she was switching between chords following me in playing a chord progresssion{she did insist on using a pickthough} . Strumming like she knew what she was doing , after giving her the "loose wrist inst."Then she wanted to learn some more chords for more money. I asked "Is the money the only reason ,your learning this?" she said yes, Im not really into playing music Dad. I guess I got what I paid for :(
Whats frustrating is that Ive seen people struggle to learn what she did almost instantly. But she doesnt care about it. I guess you never know what to expect w/ a 14 yr old girl.
My only hope is that she will somehow be drawn back to it, at a later date.
Oh well , I gave it my best shot
Steve
 
don't fret. most people do come around. plus, she's a teenager: they don't want to do anything you want them to. my parents forced me to play piano when i was little (4-9) and i hated it. they gave me the option to quit (which i wish they wouldn't have) but starting to learn the piano helped me to become interested in playing other instruments later on. now music is a huge part of my life. my son who's 5 is really in to the uke right now, so i'm teaching him. i hope he keeps up with it, but i know he'll have times of not playing. i think my wife is going to really start pushing the piano on him soon too (he's showing interest there as well). as long as you're crazy into music, you're kids will be too at some point.
 
Pay her to learn and perform a song. She can choose it, you help her find tabs/chords for it, and she performs it for you and mom when she's ready. Say that it is a one time thing, but if she would like to learn more you could "work something out".

Might surprise her if she suddenly liked playing today's latest hits... That's how I got hooked on guitar in high school. (That and there was this girl...)

~DB
 
As a girl who remembers being a 14 year old girl...don't push it on her. Music isn't something you can force on someone.

You gave it a shot. When she hits the real rough teenage years tell her music is therapeutic and your instrument is -here- if she ever wants it.
 
I teach classrooms full of kids like this but they nearly always feel proud but don't want to show it. If you feel proud of something you've done, you'll come back to it in your own time. I wouldn't worry too much. Give it time. It's not in many teenagers' nature to be positive even if they've done something they like!
 
Ok, the getting her to perform a song seems like a idea. Is there a tune popular w/ 14 yr old that isnt too hard on uke? Bubbly? The stuff she likes seems more hiphop than anything, not my thing but Im 49
any suggestions from younger females?
Steve
 
My daughter asked to take guitar lessons a few years ago. She was about 12 or 13. Her teacher couldn't get her to play any complete songs. She kept asking about chords and notes and where they could be found on the fret board. It got to where she could form a chord, make it a 7th or add9 or minor or who-knows-what-all from almost anywhere on the the guitar.. I don't know that she ever played a complete song. Certainly not for me.

After awhile, she gave it up. I finally figured out that she was more interested in HOW the guitar worked than making it work herself. She had not thoughts on playing a particular song or learning about music theory. Her interest was strictly mechanical. Efforts at getting her to pick up a uke have proven pointless.
 
My experience with teens is all you can do is plant the seed. I tried with both of my sons to get them to play guitar with me, but as teens they really didn't want to. They've both become pretty good musicians (they're in their 30's now)
 
I've got an idea. Put a sticker of one of those vampire chappies off Twilight on the top. She'll pay more attention to that uke than anything else in this world.
 
If it's any consolation, you just lost $15. At least she didn't get kind of excited to the point where you bought her a nice uke and then her excitement died, like it tends to do in teenage girls.

My parents bought me a guitar. 5 years later I gave it away for free on craigslist to a teenage girl. I hope when she gets tired of it, she does the same.

Ukuleles are getting cooler, though. My students love listening to me play and they love to mess around on my uke, and they are students at a school that has a reputation for being 'scary'.
 
I think the best way to get a kid into music is to play the music they like. I wasn't interested in learning the violin at first because I thought it was all just symphonies. Then I heard a violin playing in a song, and I got kinda in to it. Does she know about Ukulele Underground? If you tell her about it she might feel more comfortable knowing that other people play the same instrument. Don't introduce someone to a new instrument, let the instrument introduce itself :)
 
through the eyes of a teen and most adults the uke really isnt cool
it was stated Careful, Keef. That's a strong statement here...

~DB
thats ok I understand that almost everyone reading this loves ukes but this community is just a tiny concentration of the general population

I also hang out in a go Kart racing site and even though they all live and die for racing karts they are just a little hobby nitch too.
.
hence my statment
 
The stuff she likes seems more hiphop than anything

I'm 16 and I love rap/hip hop and was extremely excited when i found out I could play it on the ukulele. Kanye West is one of the more popular artists I like. Here's one of his songs:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Co0tTeuUVhU&feature=avmsc2

Now here's the tutorial on the ukulele:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAEmvGV-FjA

There's tons more like this. If you just type the name of a popular song onto youtube followed by ukulele tutorial, there's a good chance you'll find a tutorial. If all you need is the chords, go to www.ultimate-guitar.com and type in the name of any song and you'll most likely get multiple versions of chords for the song. I love to play modern music on the ukulele, and there's not a lack of information on modern music for ukulele if you know where to look.
 
My daughter is 14 and I so want her to play a instrument.

Well there's your problem. It doesn't matter if you want her to play an instrument.

Extrinsic rewards (like money) are a great way to motivate people, but it's notoriously tough to get anyone to intrinsically want something. They have to bring that to the table themselves. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't.

This is basic management stuff, but I'm pretty sure it applies to teenagers too. :)

JJ
 
Fifteen well spent bucks, those, IMO. Now she's been bitten by the flea as it were. The thing about kids is, they're much easier to teach than adults. Adults ask too many questions. "Why is it called an A# and not a Bb?" "Why can't I do it like this?" "Why did you just use your thumb?" "Why can't I use a pick?" "When are you going to show me how to play "I'm Yours?" "Why is it called chunking?" "Why do you triple strum that way, but that one does it that way?" "Which is better, playing over the soundhole or over the 12th fret?" "How come I'm always going out of tune?" "What kind of strings do I use?" Kids just listen and do it. Adults have a lot of boxes to fit things into. There's a lot of "Don't worry, we'll get to that," with beginning adults that you just don't get with kids, especially really young ones. The older we get, the "smarter" we get, hence we need to have answers!
 
Last edited:
Five well spent bucks, those, IMO. Now she's been bitten by the flea as it were. The thing about kids is, they're much easier to teach than adults. Adults ask too many questions. "Why is it called an A# and not a Bb?" "Why can't I do it like this?" "Why did you just use your thumb?" "Why can't I use a pick?" "When are you going to show me how to play "I'm Yours?" "Why is it called chunking?" "Why do you triple strum that way, but that one does it that way?" "Which is better, playing over the soundhole or over the 12th fret?" "How come I'm always going out of tune?" "What kind of strings do I use?" Kids just listen and do it. Adults have a lot of boxes to fit things into. There's a lot of "Don't worry, we'll get to that," with beginning adults that you just don't get with kids, especially really young ones. The older we get, the "smarter" we get, hence we need to have answers!

...hey, I was the other way. When I was younger I wanted to know EVERYTHING...now I just want to know what I need to get by.
 
Top Bottom