Funny Craigslist ad

dnewton2

dnewton2

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So every once in a while I check out Craigslist for ukulele stuff. Usually not much in the DC area but you never know right. I swa na ad asking for a lone uke that said,

I'm thinking of starting a career as a coffee shop ukulele player. I'd like to borrow someone's instrument before I plunk down my hard earned cash on something I suck at. Could I borrow yours for 7 days? I'd prefer a tenor sized, but will work with what you have. If you're worried about me running off with your precious uke we can discuss collateral to be returned in full. After the 7 days you check out my skills and then tell me whether or not to quit my day job. In return I can offer you a home cooked meal or if you're a cute girl sexual services.

I know this may be the most ridiculous add on Craigslist but I'm totally serious. Help me get away from this desk.
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It seems somewhat reasonable, i guess, until the last line of the first paragraph. I almost busted out laughing. Too bad I don't have a Tenor and am not a cute girl:p
 
Keep us informed if you see him billed anywhere, I may quit my day job too. :)
 
Hmm... the ad doesn't sound too promising to be serious. A home cooked meal, or sexual services for a cute girl? And he already rates his uke playing at the 'suck' level. At least he knows he prefers a tenor uke. However methinks he oughta quit the day job and find a new one: flipping burgers on night shift. :p
 
Hah! That's funny. I think I'll start a career as an astrophysicist. Does anyone have a protractor I can borrow to see if I can cut it?
 
Suddenly, I found my calling: Coffee House Ukulele Player.

That would look awesome on a resume...

Coffee House Ukulele Player
Time: July 2010 to Present
Duties: Research, arrange, compose, and perform songs for beatniks on a regular basis. Organize couch cushions for maximum tonal affect. Negotiate with owners/employees/cops to prevent my butt from being kicked out for knocking over some self-entitled hipsters mocha-chino. Special emphasis on not looking pathetic.
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~DB
 
That isn't too unreasonable. I had been thinking about trying my hand at neurosurgery, but can't find anyone to loan me their head, or at least their spinal column. I mean, I have my own X-Acto knife so I'm good as far as equipment goes..
 
Tudorp said:
That isn't too unreasonable. I had been thinking about trying my hand at neurosurgery, but can't find anyone to loan me their head, or at least their spinal column. I mean, I have my own X-Acto knife so I'm good as far as equipment goes..
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Try it for a week beforing making a commitment.
 
I'm not sure I want either his sexual services OR his home cooked meal. I mean, seriously, where have his hands been? And he strikes me as the kind who's lax in the handwashing department.

Although I do have a tenor I hate-- it's splitting at the headstock, pegs keep slipping, and it sounds awful no matter what I do. Too bad I live on the other side of the country. I could have gotten a good story and rid of the icky tenor cluttering up my wall all at the same time.
 
UKISOCIETY said:
Eww. WHat happened to the other eye?
:p
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A Paint I had has the other blue eye.. The wife and I had one of those with one blue eye, the other brown.. Horse was a really cool horse, but that damn eye creeped me the hell out, lol..
 
Mim said:
I have nothing to say except... wow... I mean... just... W-O-W...

Whoring yourself out for a uke loan? Seriously...
W-O-W!
Click to expand...

Even worse, is there are those that would take him up on that. I had a friend that was brutally forward like that. He used to embarrass the hell out of me. We would be out at a club or something and he would just walk up to a gal and flat out "ask". He got slapped about 90% of the time, but that 10% is what he said he was after.. He was a nasty SOB, and the gals he hung out with wernt the ones I would want to take home to meet Mom.. I never walked into his apartment unless I was wearing a condom, just to be safe, lol..
 
I quite like this guy, actually! I won't knock him for his desire to try it before he buys it, I kept my uke a secret from everyone I know for a few weeks, just so they wouldn't make fun of me if I totally failed. The man wants to get away from his desk? Let the man get away from his desk. In the history of the world, people have whored themselves out for far, far worse things than a ukulele.

You go, uke-whore! Do it!

(That being said, he can borrow someone else's uke though, I like mine too much.)
 
I'm not against escaping the cubical farm before harvest... I kind of like the idea on that point, but it falls apart with borrowing an instrument he knows nothing about.

To me, it's like a total stranger walking up to an orchestra member during warm ups and asking to borrow a violin for a moment.

~DB
 
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