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dnewton2
07-27-2010, 06:27 AM
So every once in a while I check out Craigslist for ukulele stuff. Usually not much in the DC area but you never know right. I swa na ad asking for a lone uke that said,


I'm thinking of starting a career as a coffee shop ukulele player. I'd like to borrow someone's instrument before I plunk down my hard earned cash on something I suck at. Could I borrow yours for 7 days? I'd prefer a tenor sized, but will work with what you have. If you're worried about me running off with your precious uke we can discuss collateral to be returned in full. After the 7 days you check out my skills and then tell me whether or not to quit my day job. In return I can offer you a home cooked meal or if you're a cute girl sexual services.

I know this may be the most ridiculous add on Craigslist but I'm totally serious. Help me get away from this desk.


It seems somewhat reasonable, i guess, until the last line of the first paragraph. I almost busted out laughing. Too bad I don't have a Tenor and am not a cute girl:p

SailingUke
07-27-2010, 06:39 AM
Keep us informed if you see him billed anywhere, I may quit my day job too. :)

telebob
07-27-2010, 06:45 AM
Hmm... the ad doesn't sound too promising to be serious. A home cooked meal, or sexual services for a cute girl? And he already rates his uke playing at the 'suck' level. At least he knows he prefers a tenor uke. However methinks he oughta quit the day job and find a new one: flipping burgers on night shift. :p

portlandjosh
07-27-2010, 06:47 AM
Hah! That's funny. I think I'll start a career as an astrophysicist. Does anyone have a protractor I can borrow to see if I can cut it?

lindydanny
07-27-2010, 06:48 AM
Suddenly, I found my calling: Coffee House Ukulele Player.

That would look awesome on a resume...


Coffee House Ukulele Player
Time: July 2010 to Present
Duties: Research, arrange, compose, and perform songs for beatniks on a regular basis. Organize couch cushions for maximum tonal affect. Negotiate with owners/employees/cops to prevent my butt from being kicked out for knocking over some self-entitled hipsters mocha-chino. Special emphasis on not looking pathetic.

~DB

Tudorp
07-27-2010, 06:56 AM
That isn't too unreasonable. I had been thinking about trying my hand at neurosurgery, but can't find anyone to loan me their head, or at least their spinal column. I mean, I have my own X-Acto knife so I'm good as far as equipment goes..

Captain_Lovehandles
07-27-2010, 07:28 AM
The Southeast Ukers are playing at a coffee shop tonight. I'll let you know if we bring in enough cash to quit the day jobs. I'm guessing no, and we don't even suck... much.

hoosierhiver
07-27-2010, 07:47 AM
That isn't too unreasonable. I had been thinking about trying my hand at neurosurgery, but can't find anyone to loan me their head, or at least their spinal column. I mean, I have my own X-Acto knife so I'm good as far as equipment goes..
Try it for a week beforing making a commitment.

Sambient
07-27-2010, 06:36 PM
PFffft. Guy can't even spell "ad" correctly in his listing.

arw
07-28-2010, 01:19 AM
Similarly, here is dude who was living the dream:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/28/nyregion/28canoe.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=ukulele%20erie%20canal&st=cse

dnewton2
07-28-2010, 06:27 AM
Similarly, here is dude who was living the dream:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/28/nyregion/28canoe.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=ukulele%20erie%20canal&st=cse

I hope that guy doesn't see this. Or maybe I do :)

NatalieS
07-28-2010, 07:15 AM
Similarly, here is dude who was living the dream:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/28/nyregion/28canoe.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=ukulele%20erie%20canal&st=cse

Actually that's pretty cool! I've always had a crazy desire to have nothing but a boat, my dogs, a few classic books, and a uke. And see where we end up.

(When I was litte, the boat was instead a beautiful paint horse with one blue eye).

MarySue
07-28-2010, 07:35 AM
I'm not sure I want either his sexual services OR his home cooked meal. I mean, seriously, where have his hands been? And he strikes me as the kind who's lax in the handwashing department.

Although I do have a tenor I hate-- it's splitting at the headstock, pegs keep slipping, and it sounds awful no matter what I do. Too bad I live on the other side of the country. I could have gotten a good story and rid of the icky tenor cluttering up my wall all at the same time.

UKISOCIETY
07-28-2010, 09:10 AM
...

(When I was litte, the boat was instead a beautiful paint horse with one blue eye).

Eww. WHat happened to the other eye?
:P

Mim
07-28-2010, 09:45 AM
I have nothing to say except... wow... I mean... just... W-O-W...

Whoring yourself out for a uke loan? Seriously...
W-O-W!

Tudorp
07-28-2010, 09:58 AM
Eww. WHat happened to the other eye?
:P

A Paint I had has the other blue eye.. The wife and I had one of those with one blue eye, the other brown.. Horse was a really cool horse, but that damn eye creeped me the hell out, lol..

Tudorp
07-28-2010, 10:03 AM
I have nothing to say except... wow... I mean... just... W-O-W...

Whoring yourself out for a uke loan? Seriously...
W-O-W!

Even worse, is there are those that would take him up on that. I had a friend that was brutally forward like that. He used to embarrass the hell out of me. We would be out at a club or something and he would just walk up to a gal and flat out "ask". He got slapped about 90% of the time, but that 10% is what he said he was after.. He was a nasty SOB, and the gals he hung out with wernt the ones I would want to take home to meet Mom.. I never walked into his apartment unless I was wearing a condom, just to be safe, lol..

mailman
07-28-2010, 12:39 PM
Similarly, here is dude who was living the dream:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/28/nyregion/28canoe.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=ukulele%20erie%20canal&st=cse

This so cool....

I'm pretty sure I could hit the spot where that photo was taken with a rock, if I tried hard enough. I volunteer weekly at the Spencerport Depot and Canal Museum (I'm there right now), and that spot is very near here. I wish I had known about him soon enough to catch his show....

austin1
07-28-2010, 02:23 PM
I quite like this guy, actually! I won't knock him for his desire to try it before he buys it, I kept my uke a secret from everyone I know for a few weeks, just so they wouldn't make fun of me if I totally failed. The man wants to get away from his desk? Let the man get away from his desk. In the history of the world, people have whored themselves out for far, far worse things than a ukulele.

You go, uke-whore! Do it!

(That being said, he can borrow someone else's uke though, I like mine too much.)

lindydanny
07-29-2010, 05:20 AM
I'm not against escaping the cubical farm before harvest... I kind of like the idea on that point, but it falls apart with borrowing an instrument he knows nothing about.

To me, it's like a total stranger walking up to an orchestra member during warm ups and asking to borrow a violin for a moment.

~DB

MarySue
07-29-2010, 08:01 AM
It is kind of amusing how, when I was playing at my family reunion (four short months after I started learning uke), the number of people who came up and said, "That looks easy! Let me try!" So I'd hand over my Makala Dolphin and they'd go plinkety plankety plunker... One uncle thrust it back at me saying, "Damn thing's broken!"

I looked at him and calmly started the Study in E Minor (http://www.microshare.net/tri-tabs/?p=448).

Yeah, it is rather easy, and the learning curve's fairly short, and you *can* start playing in a week, but you have to actually work at it.

Chris Tarman
07-29-2010, 01:28 PM
This thread (mainly some of the responses to it) reminds me of the "Vocational Guidance Councilor" skit on Monty Python's Flying Circus, where the accountant, played by Michael Palin, wants to be a lion tamer. When John Cleese asks him if he has any qualifications to be a lion tamer, he replies "I have a hat that says "Lion Tamer"".

Mim
07-29-2010, 02:38 PM
This thread (mainly some of the responses to it) reminds me of the "Vocational Guidance Councilor" skit on Monty Python's Flying Circus, where the accountant, played by Michael Palin, wants to be a lion tamer. When John Cleese asks him if he has any qualifications to be a lion tamer, he replies "I have a hat that says "Lion Tamer"".

And that Monty Python skit reminds me of my son at 5 years old. He informed me he wanted to be a rock star when he grew up. He said that first he needed me to build him a stadium so people would come see him. Then he needed a shirt that said "I am the Rock Star" on it, so people would know he was the one they were there to see. I asked him if he was going to sing... he said no. I asked him if he was going to play an instrument... he said no. I asked him why the people were going to see him and he replied, "Because I have the famoustest moves". So now he has a shirt I made for him. On the front it says "The Rock Star" and on the back "... with the famoustest moves". He is 8 now and still wears it proudly... and he still has the famoustest moves.

And now I have proceeded to realize I have gone WAAAAYYYYYY off topic, but since I already typed it might as well post it!

Anyway this story reminded you of a story that reminded me of a story... I am a ADD nightmare.

mailman
07-29-2010, 02:42 PM
And that Monty Python skit reminds me of my son at 5 years old. He informed me he wanted to be a rock star when he grew up. He said that first he needed me to build him a stadium so people would come see him. Then he needed a shirt that said "I am the Rock Star" on it, so people would know he was the one they were there to see. I asked him if he was going to sing... he said no. I asked him if he was going to play an instrument... he said no. I asked him why the people were going to see him and he replied, "Because I have the famoustest moves". So now he has a shirt I made for him. On the front it says "The Rock Star" and on the back "... with the famoustest moves". He is 8 now and still wears it proudly... and he still has the famoustest moves.

And now I have proceeded to realize I have gone WAAAAYYYYYY off topic, but since I already typed it might as well post it!

Anyway this story reminded you of a story that reminded me of a story... I am a ADD nightmare.

My teachers in school tried to tell me I had ADD. I said, "No way! I don't have.... Oh, look! A chicken!"

NatalieS
07-29-2010, 02:43 PM
Eww. WHat happened to the other eye?
:P

HAHAHA! One blue eye, the other brown, sort of like an Australian Shepherd will have. Still had both eyes. LOL!

SailQwest
07-29-2010, 02:47 PM
Actually that's pretty cool! I've always had a crazy desire to have nothing but a boat, my dogs, a few classic books, and a uke. And see where we end up.

(When I was litte, the boat was instead a beautiful paint horse with one blue eye).

Wow! You just described my life, except I have a cat instead of dogs.

NatalieS
07-29-2010, 03:08 PM
Wow! You just described my life, except I have a cat instead of dogs.

I am officially jealous! :)