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Tudorp
01-17-2011, 11:34 AM
Sorry for the off topic, but wanted to share with you guys. I have made several friends here.

As many of you know I spent a few months at an Obeisity center to teach me how to get better from my failing health over the past few years. I was proud of the time I spent there due to comments and that fact that considering the circumstances of me being there, I kept my spirits very high, as well as my energy. I won't go into details again of my success story from the place. But my mission there was not only to get my own health on track, but also to try and inspire others there that was suffering from the same issues I was. There were a handful of people there that did stand up with me to take their health back, and 3 that I remember even got up out of their wheelchairs after not getting out of them for some time. They started to work on walking regimins to rid themselves of the prison many people simply call a wheelchair. One was a man about my age, that had been in a wheelchair for over 10 years. He was very quiet, and never really had much to say, but I had convinced him to take his life back and workout with me, and learn to get health back. While I was there, he even got enggadged to woman there that he had been dating for about a year or so. Both very obeise, but very much in love. He was working on being able to walk down the isle, and had been walking a bit now. However, I just got word that he was standing outside the building next to his fiance in her wheelchair and collapsed with a brain anorism and passed away. Just one week before his wedding was to take place.

Sometimes I wonder why, especially a nice guy that had made the decision to take his life back, and was starting a new life, never to make it. But I can't let that shake my own faith that God knows what he is doing, even if we don't.

pray for his fiance, and his family please.

Thanks

Turtle
01-17-2011, 11:39 AM
Hi Tudorp,

That is sad news indeed. I am sorry for your loss. It does sound though that you had a profound impact on his life and that he got to experience some very positive things because of your inspiration and encouragement. I will hold you all in my thoughts.

Turtle.

Tudorp
01-17-2011, 11:43 AM
Thanks Turtle. Truth be told, I really didn't know him very well. He was very introverted, and didn't talk much. Actually, I did most the talking between us, but was able to get through to him how important it was to get out of the wheelchairs enough for him to take the stand himself. Im glad he did, because at least he didn't die IN a wheelchair, and that's what I am taking from it. But, also just sad because it was too little too late I suppose. Just the more reason NEVER wait to gain your health back. Do it now, because we never really know how much time we have left. We need to make what we have left count for something.

HojoKing
01-17-2011, 11:46 AM
Sorry to hear about your loss. I hope everything will be ok with time. I attended a funeral this weekend. It was the worst event to be in.....

NatalieS
01-17-2011, 12:09 PM
I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. :( Even though he may have been quiet and introverted, I'm sure you touched his life with your positive thinking.

sukie
01-17-2011, 12:50 PM
I'm sorry to hear. I hope everyday makes you feel a little better. Never give up, though, on yourself.

roxhum
01-17-2011, 01:18 PM
That is tragic. Thanks for sharing and of course I will say a prayer for his fiance and family. I am relieved that you and your family are doing just fine. Got me scared there for a minute
Roxhum

808boy
01-17-2011, 01:24 PM
Aloha Tudorp,
So sorry for your loss of a friend. Just be assured that you did have an impact on his life as much of an impact on many of us here at UU. Your friendship is truly a blessing and WE thank you for that. Take care my friend.................BO.............

SailingUke
01-17-2011, 01:43 PM
Tudorp,
My sincere sympathy. I found comfort in your words on my loss last week, I hope I can do the same for you.
We can't really control the beginning or the end of our life, but we can make sure the space between them is filled.
Remember the little dash between our birthdate and death date is the most important part.
Be well, play some music and take care of yourself.

gnordenstam
01-17-2011, 02:40 PM
We touch people's lives in many ways. Often we never know how. You touched his life in a very positive way. I'm sorry to hear of his passing. And I'm glad to hear of the courage you both have.
--G

Uncle Leroy
01-17-2011, 02:40 PM
I am sorry to hear about your friend. I think you may have a gift four reaching people in that similar situation and you should continue to use it.

Hippie Dribble
01-17-2011, 03:50 PM
I am sorry to hear about your friend. I think you may have a gift four reaching people in that similar situation and you should continue to use it.

I totally agree with Uncle there brother Tony. I know you spoke to me in a very straight ahead way when I needed to hear some straight talking. Your life example was an encouragment to that man, as you continue to be an inspiration for many of us mate. I will uphold his family in my prayers. Stay strong brother and keep walking the walk.

mm stan
01-17-2011, 04:05 PM
Aloha Bruddah Tudorp,
Sorry to hear the sad news..I am sure you made a definete impact on your friends life...life is so precious, and you never know when it's
your last day...as for your friend it ended abruptly. My mother passed away at 50 the same way...My sincere condolences to his family
and fiance.....I hope you will keep on inspiring people with your positive attitude as you always have done to better their lives....Your Friend, Stan

itsme
01-17-2011, 04:34 PM
I am sorry, my friend. You touched his life and he obviously touched yours.


Stay strong brother and keep walking the walk.
And just keep on walking! I'm awaiting the day you make a thread to tell us you've abandoned your wheelchair altogether.

My husband recently decided we should start walking for health. We are doing 20-30 minutes at least every other day. In three weeks, he's lost three pounds without much of any dietary changes other than trying to limit late-night snacks.

Tudorp, you were an encouragement to me to do this, and I hope I can be a similar encouragement for him to keep it up. :)

Tudorp
01-18-2011, 02:42 AM
Thanks everyone. Your all are really too kind. And you all helped. Even being sad for him and his family, like I mentioned earlier I am just glad he didn't have to pass in a wheelchair. He got to walk again and I thats what I take from it. It's never too late to take your life back. 6 months ago I thought it was too late for me, because I was basically sitting around waiting to die, and I am not anymore. There is a huge message in that, and it's now my message for the rest of my days.

BTW: I don't know if I mentioned this or not before, but I haven't used my wheelchair in 4 weeks. I will have to use it some for my daughter's basketball season for me to see her games, but that's ok, because I don't need it on a daily basis anymore, and that is another small victory.

Thanks again fokes...

God Bless

mm stan
01-18-2011, 03:07 AM
Aloha Tudorp,
That's great to hear you're on your legs again brother!!! so good to hear!!! and not a small victory either, but a big step in the right direction....So happy for you!! also for inspiring others to do well for themselves
You're a big man with big words of inspiration for us....who need it!! Take Care and Keep Warm!! God's Blessings....Your Friend, MM Stan

cornfedgroove
01-18-2011, 04:02 AM
that is sad to hear indeed. Let this experience shape you brother and give your strength to push on and keep fighting for yourself and for others...and play that uke, them dang things have a way of easing the pain.

Pukulele Pete
01-18-2011, 04:19 AM
Keep up the fight. Think about all the positive things in life. Your thoughts can make you or break you.
Stay positive and play that uke.

itsme
01-18-2011, 08:19 AM
BTW: I don't know if I mentioned this or not before, but I haven't used my wheelchair in 4 weeks. I will have to use it some for my daughter's basketball season for me to see her games, but that's ok, because I don't need it on a daily basis anymore, and that is another small victory.
That is awesome news! :D

velofille
01-18-2011, 09:30 AM
Heya, sorry for what happened to the guy, As you said though, he died standing up. which would have meant a lot to him and others.
I have also had a problem with my weight, fought the battle and won. Its a never ending task, even though i'm no longer considered obese.
Good on you for working on it, and winning :)

Tudorp
01-18-2011, 09:46 AM
Thats awesome that ya beat it. And you are right about it being a never ending battle, but one worth staying in for sure. Over the past 6 months or so (however long its been) I have been sort of obsessed with what goes in my mouth, how much, and what it's impact will be on my body. The wife was sort of concerned a couple months ago until I explained it to her. She said to me "Honey, I'm worried, because you seem to be obsessed with food...". I explained to her, "Yes hon, I am obsessed with food, but now in a healthy sense. I have a problem, and I HAVE to be obsessed with what I put in my body, most likely for the rest of my life, even after I loose the weight I need to. Food can be an addiction, as it is with me. The bad thing is, it is worse than a drug or alcohol addiction, because as hard as it is to beat those addictions, the formula is simple, and just stay away from it, and never take it again. With a food addiction, I HAVE to partake of my addiction every day. You can not just "quit" a food addiction, you have to eat a little of your drug each day. So, that said, you HAVE to be obsessed with it, and count each and every bit you use so that you can be sure you don't slowly start killing yourself with it..." After I explained it to her that way, she understands as much as someone that doesn't have the problem can. She is supportive, and loves me more that I am fighting it for her and my daughter too, not just me.

Bottom line, we do have to take a little bit of our drug to stay alive, which makes the addiction much scarier to cope with. And it's an every day, life long battle. But one that can be beat, and worthy of the fight..

Mim
01-18-2011, 09:56 AM
I am so sorry about your friend. I ache for his fiance. I am very proud of you! I know it is a struggle, but we are here for you!!!

velofille
01-18-2011, 10:29 AM
Yep, its sorta like a drug for sure.
What helped me was dropping processed foods and most carbs. They sent my insulin into overdrive and made me hungry in the long term. I generally now only eat vegetables, meat, low fat yoghurt, small amount of fruit and i can control things a WHOLE lot better than before.
I can now walk away from cakes and pies (though its still sometimes tempting). I'm a mod on a weight loss forum now and help others :D

pastyman
01-18-2011, 10:44 AM
Well done for your efforts matey and for what you tried to do for your friend, very sad but try not to dwell on it too much. In the condition he was in as you described ,he was never going to make it into old age. Its a fact of life. I dont want to appear insensitive here but I too have had an awakening recently. Last year I was diagnosed with prostate cancer which has progressed to my bones , so not good. I have just finished 6 months of chemotherapy and will just have to wait to see if it has worked. Life certainly seems much more precious now.I still play my ukes and go to the pub for the weekly Jam sessions. I also continue to mess about with nmy motorbike and vintage car and come the summer I will go out sailing too. unlike you though, I have to rely on what the medical people can do, I can do very little except keep positive. You on the other hand have taken steps to remedy your situation and you must keep that up. Your life and your families must be you priority Good luck and keep playing.

Tudorp
01-18-2011, 10:44 AM
Yep, its sorta like a drug for sure.
What helped me was dropping processed foods and most carbs. They sent my insulin into overdrive and made me hungry in the long term. I generally now only eat vegetables, meat, low fat yoghurt, small amount of fruit and i can control things a WHOLE lot better than before.
I can now walk away from cakes and pies (though its still sometimes tempting). I'm a mod on a weight loss forum now and help others :D

like I mentioned before, especially those of us that have the problem, it is our duty to help others. Good for you, that is awesome.

And, don't even get me started on processed foods, lol.. Man, I am a HUGE advocate against that poison. I stay away from proecessed at all costs. In these times, it is so difficult to stay completley away from it, because frankly with some things, there is no healtheir solution, but everyone, fat or not needs to know what that stuff does to your system, and stay away from it at all costs.. Proecessed foods really are killing North America and Europe especially.

fitncrafty
01-18-2011, 12:06 PM
Thanks everyone. Your all are really too kind. And you all helped. Even being sad for him and his family, like I mentioned earlier I am just glad he didn't have to pass in a wheelchair. He got to walk again and I thats what I take from it. It's never too late to take your life back. 6 months ago I thought it was too late for me, because I was basically sitting around waiting to die, and I am not anymore. There is a huge message in that, and it's now my message for the rest of my days.

BTW: I don't know if I mentioned this or not before, but I haven't used my wheelchair in 4 weeks. I will have to use it some for my daughter's basketball season for me to see her games, but that's ok, because I don't need it on a daily basis anymore, and that is another small victory.

Thanks again fokes...

God Bless

I am so sorry for your loss.. I know I can't say it better than others. Unfortunately, everyone can not win this battle with obesity, however with your encouragement you certainly did change the quality of his life, and you are a great example for SO many!
I am ecstatic to hear that you are not having to use the wheelchair all the time! Soon you will not have to use it at all!! what an amazing accomplishment...
Hang in there...