For what you are hoping to learn, I am not sure that I know of a book which will be exactly what you're looking for. Many of the higher level theory/harmony books will spend a great deal of time with voice leading (aka when chords change, each note of the chord has a few options of where to go to get to the next note. Voice leading is about the rules and logic which govern the way in which each note can move).
I like the idea of sitting down with someone who really knows their stuff and getting them to do demonstrations. You may get frustrated with books which focus on rules, rules and more rules.
I would consider looking into understanding modulations and secondary dominants (V of V). Often when you encounter accidentals, they are part of a so-called 'pivot' chord. The pivot chord functions as a bridge from one key to another. One of the most common modulations (key changes) is from one key to a key based on the dominant note. For example, changing from the key of C major to G major. Key changes such as this one often employ a secondary dominant (the dominant of the key you what to change to - in the case of modulating to G, you would need the D or D7 chord). So, for a strong modulation from C major to G major, try to figure out a way to get to the D or D7 chord as you are fooling around in C and then resolve your D/D7 to G. The resolution of V or V7 to I is very powerful and will enable you to quickly and firmly establish the new key.
Here is an example of what I mean (but, be warned, it isn't really that pretty - but it does illustrate the point):
Establish the key of C major by playing:
C (I)
F (IV)
G/G7 (V/V7)
C (I)
Next phrase, modulate to G major by using D major (you will be adding an F# which is not normally present in C major) chord:
C (I)
F (IV)
D7 (V7 of G)
G (I, your new tonic)
peace,