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[B]No One Cool Ever Came From Hufflepuff[/B]
by Jim Persky (2009)
[COLOR="blue"]Dsus2 Dm[/COLOR] Go from 2200 to 2210
[COLOR="blue"]C C7[/COLOR] Go from 5433 to 3433
Intro: [COLOR="blue"]F Dsus2 Dm Dsus2 Dm Bbmaj7 F[/COLOR]
[COLOR="blue"]F[/COLOR]
I'm getting out my Marauders' Map
[COLOR="blue"]Gm Eb[/COLOR]
Waiting for dark, and after that
[COLOR="blue"]Bb Eb[/COLOR]
I'm sneaking downstairs, and I swear I'm gonna
[COLOR="blue"]F[/COLOR]
Wreak some vengeance on that Sorting Hat
[COLOR="blue"] F[/COLOR]
I was only eleven, I'd just gotten here
[COLOR="blue"] Gm Eb[/COLOR]
When that stupid hat jinxed my whole career
[COLOR="blue"]Bb Eb[/COLOR]
Sat on my head and it worked its spell
[COLOR="blue"] F[/COLOR]
And dropped me into this living hell
[COLOR="blue"] Eb Bb F[/COLOR]
You just can't overcome
[COLOR="blue"] Eb Bb C C7[/COLOR]
That stench of loserdom
[COLOR="blue"] F[/COLOR]
'Cause no one cool ever came from Hufflepuff
[COLOR="blue"] Cm[/COLOR]
You can try your hardest but it's never enough
[COLOR="blue"] Eb Bb[/COLOR]
We're the whole world's doormat, the meek and mild,
[COLOR="blue"] F[/COLOR]
The ones who run for cover when the going gets tough
[COLOR="blue"]F[/COLOR]
No one cool ever came from Hufflepuff
[COLOR="blue"] Cm[/COLOR]
They won't let us have the jobs that we're all dreaming of
[COLOR="blue"] Eb Bb[/COLOR]
We're the ones who pump the wizard gas
[COLOR="blue"] F[/COLOR]
"Would you like some magic fries with that?"
[COLOR="blue"]F Dsus2 Dm Dsus2 Dm[/COLOR]
Someone fed my owl to a tentacula vine
And the Weasley twins hexed me with a "Kick me" sign
So yeah, I'm angry, it'll make you surly
When even Moaning Myrtle gives you a swirlie
Hagrid gives me detention whenever he's able
And makes me shovel out the hippogriff stable
Malfoy swiped my broom and I took a bad drop
Trying to play Quidditch with a janitor's mop
You just can't overcome
That stench of loserdom
'Cause no one cool ever came from Hufflepuff
You can try your hardest but it's never enough
We're the whole world's doormat, the meek and mild,
The ones who run for cover when the going gets tough
No one cool ever came from Hufflepuff
They won't let us have the jobs that we're all dreaming of
We're the ones who pump the wizard gas
"Would you like some magic fries with that?"
[COLOR="blue"]Dm F[/COLOR]
Slytherin turns out evil overlords
[COLOR="blue"]Dm A7[/COLOR]
Gryffindor's got that bitchin' sword
[COLOR="blue"]Bb Eb[/COLOR]
Ravenclaw has a hunger to learn
[COLOR="blue"] Bb C C7[/COLOR]
All we've got's a badger rooting around in the dirt for worms
When good fights evil we're the ones who get hurt
On Star Trek we'd be the guys in the red shirts
Cedric Diggory was going to be our release
He's our hope and our future — may he rest in peace
So here I sit crying in my butterbeer
'Cause I've got nothing to look forward to when I leave here
Flitwick told me over a flagon
Maybe I should try my hand at dog-walking dragons
You just can't overcome
That unforgivable curse of loserdom
'Cause no one cool ever came from Hufflepuff
You can try your hardest but it's never enough
We're the whole world's doormat, the meek and mild,
The ones who run for cover when the going gets tough
No one cool ever came from Hufflepuff
They won't let us have the jobs that we're all dreaming of
We're the ones who pump the wizard gas
"Would you like some magic fries with that?"
Welcome to Burger Witch, can I take your order?
No, we don't sell the Big Muggle. That's McDarkLord's.
Would you like to dragon-size that? It's just a galleon more. Yeah, it comes with the large pumpkin juice.
Okay, please pull up to the second portkey. And have a burgeriffic day!
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