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TicToc
04-03-2011, 03:10 PM
Hey guys, my girlfriend (of 6 months as of this Tuesday :) ) asked me to write her a song about birds a couple days ago, so I kind of took the bird theme and ran rampant with it. I'm almost done with the lyrics, and I'd appreciate some feedback on what I've got so far. Be as brutal as necessary, I want this song to be perfect. :)

Flying, soaring through the sky like an airplane,
Rescue me from boring and mundane,
Save me with your heart and your soul.

Racing, stirring up waves like a hurricane,
I swear you're making me insane,
You're making me crazy and whole.

Floating, swimming through the clouds like ______________ (haven't thought of a word for here yet)
You know what to do and I'm lovedrunk,
I'm stumbling and I'm falling for you.

[chorus]
'Cuz we're like birds,
We're soaring and we're flying through love.
We're just like birds,
And darling I just can't get enough, I can't get enough.

Blue eyes, gazing at me,
like sapphires, deep as the sea,
and they're lovely, and pretty and wholesome and nice.

Just one kiss, that's all I need,
Just one hug, and then we'll be complete,
we're like flowers, daisies growing in paradise.

[chorus x2]






Alright guys, that's what I've got so far. Can anyone help me out a bit and let me get this song finished? We're spending a couple days in Panama City together, and I'd like to whip this out one evening in celebration of 6 months. Thanks in advance guys!

bunnyrawr
04-14-2011, 10:19 PM
awfully sorry that this is a bit late and you're probably finished by now but it's really, really good :D
The lyrics flow beautifully, and you have an excellent vocabulary.