Ukulele Quotes

DeVineGuitars

DeVineGuitars

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Just for fun, old famous quotes updated for the ukulele.
I'll start.

"Ukuleles will get you through times with no money better than money will get you through time with no ukulele."
 
DeVineGuitars said:
Just for fun, old famous quotes updated for the ukulele.
I'll start.

"Ukuleles will get you through times with no money better than money will get you through time with no ukulele."
Click to expand...

The Fabulous Furry Uke Brothers! For mine, see my signature.
 
"I regret that I have but one uke to...no, three ukes to give...no, five ukes...no, eleven ukes to give for my country."
 
And, of course, from the last thread on this subject,

"I did not play that woman's, Miss Lewinski's ukulele!"
 
#8 "Thou shall not steal-MY Uke..."
 
You know how hell is eternal punishment in the worst ways possible? Well, as Dante wrote, above the gate of hell is inscribed... "Abandon Ukes, all ye who enter here."
 
To elaborate, or be more specific.. ;)

#1: “You shall have no other Ukes before Me.
#2: “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them unless it is Koa, Mahogany, Maple, or other tonewoods of the earth. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, and will never tolerate a plastic, or pinewood built ukelele, but showing mercy to thousands who know the uke not and, to those who love and keep My Ukes safe.
#3: “You shall not take the name of any of my Ukes in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes my Ukes names in vain.
#4: “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and played the Uke the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it. Oh never mind, play it every day.
#5: “Honor your Uke, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you good action upon your ukelele.
#6: “You shall not strum too hard.
#7: “You shall not cheat on your Uke.
#8: “You shall not steal my Uke.
#9: “You shall not bear false witness and play your Uke poorly for your neighbor.
#10: “You shall not covet your neighbor's Ukes"
 
Last edited:
Give me uke or give me death.
 
Tudorp said:
To elaborate, or be more specific.. ;)

#1: “You shall have no other Ukes before Me.
#2: “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them unless it is Koa, Mahogany, Maple, or other tonewoods of the earth. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, and will never tolerate a plastic, or pinewood built ukelele, but showing mercy to thousands who know the uke not and, to those who love and keep My Ukes safe.
#3: “You shall not take the name of any of my Ukes in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes my Ukes names in vain.
#4: “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and played the Uke the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it. Oh never mind, play it every day.
#5: “Honor your Uke, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you good action upon your ukelele.
#6: “You shall not strum too hard.
#7: “You shall not cheat on your Uke.
#8: “You shall not steal my Uke.
#9: “You shall not bear false witness and play your Uke poorly for your neighbor.
#10: “You shall not covet your neighbor's Ukes"
Click to expand...

LMAO! 5 & 9...... :) Hell yea.
 
If ukulele did not exist, it would be necessary to invent one.
 
10 good reasons why Ukuleles are better than women

1. My Ukulele doesn't mind if I don't want to play for a few weeks then want to play
all night every night for a few weeks.

2. I can compare my Ukulele to any other Ukulele without upsetting it

3. My Ukulele doesn't mind how much beer I drink

4. I can put my Ukulele down anytime!!

5. I don't have to keep telling my Ukulele I love it (it knows anyway)

6. My Ukulele doesn't get upset if I try out another mans Ukulele

7. My Ukulele understands that sometimes I just want to watch the telly instead

8. My Ukulele has never once wanted me to go shopping

9. My Ukulele never complains when I leave the toilet seat up

10. My Ukulele doesn't moan if I take it to the pub then ignore it all night.
 
Plainsong said:
I already did that one in the other uke quotes thread. Abe Lincoln had some bad UAS going there.

Come to think of it, certainly someone already did the one I just did in the post above? It seems so obvious.
Click to expand...

How about this one for the UAS in us all?

"Four Ukes, and seven more to go!"
 
The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, mad to play ukulele, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles.
 
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