PDA

View Full Version : Ukulele Quotes



DeVineGuitars
04-10-2011, 08:30 AM
Just for fun, old famous quotes updated for the ukulele.
I'll start.

"Ukuleles will get you through times with no money better than money will get you through time with no ukulele."

garywj
04-10-2011, 08:34 AM
For God so loved the uke that He gave us many hardwoods, so that whoever builds one will have an instrument that will last for a long time.

uke4ia
04-10-2011, 08:56 AM
Just for fun, old famous quotes updated for the ukulele.
I'll start.

"Ukuleles will get you through times with no money better than money will get you through time with no ukulele."

The Fabulous Furry Uke Brothers! For mine, see my signature.

OldePhart
04-10-2011, 08:57 AM
"I regret that I have but one uke to...no, three ukes to give...no, five ukes...no, eleven ukes to give for my country."

OldePhart
04-10-2011, 08:59 AM
And, of course, from the last thread on this subject,

"I did not play that woman's, Miss Lewinski's ukulele!"

DeVineGuitars
04-10-2011, 09:41 AM
And, of course, from the last thread on this subject,

"I did not play that woman's, Miss Lewinski's ukulele!"
That's a good one!

Tudorp
04-10-2011, 11:37 AM
#8 "Thou shall not steal-MY Uke..."

philpot
04-10-2011, 11:43 AM
You know how hell is eternal punishment in the worst ways possible? Well, as Dante wrote, above the gate of hell is inscribed... "Abandon Ukes, all ye who enter here."

Tudorp
04-10-2011, 11:44 AM
To elaborate, or be more specific.. ;)

#1: “You shall have no other Ukes before Me.
#2: “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them unless it is Koa, Mahogany, Maple, or other tonewoods of the earth. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, and will never tolerate a plastic, or pinewood built ukelele, but showing mercy to thousands who know the uke not and, to those who love and keep My Ukes safe.
#3: “You shall not take the name of any of my Ukes in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes my Ukes names in vain.
#4: “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and played the Uke the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it. Oh never mind, play it every day.
#5: “Honor your Uke, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you good action upon your ukelele.
#6: “You shall not strum too hard.
#7: “You shall not cheat on your Uke.
#8: “You shall not steal my Uke.
#9: “You shall not bear false witness and play your Uke poorly for your neighbor.
#10: “You shall not covet your neighbor's Ukes"

sonicbaker
04-10-2011, 02:58 PM
http://i1093.photobucket.com/albums/i425/sonicbaker/Uke%20Images/ukulelepiccharliebrown_tmp.jpg

Rockabilly
04-10-2011, 03:31 PM
Give me uke or give me death.

amute
04-10-2011, 05:56 PM
To elaborate, or be more specific.. ;)

#1: “You shall have no other Ukes before Me.
#2: “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them unless it is Koa, Mahogany, Maple, or other tonewoods of the earth. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, and will never tolerate a plastic, or pinewood built ukelele, but showing mercy to thousands who know the uke not and, to those who love and keep My Ukes safe.
#3: “You shall not take the name of any of my Ukes in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes my Ukes names in vain.
#4: “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and played the Uke the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it. Oh never mind, play it every day.
#5: “Honor your Uke, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you good action upon your ukelele.
#6: “You shall not strum too hard.
#7: “You shall not cheat on your Uke.
#8: “You shall not steal my Uke.
#9: “You shall not bear false witness and play your Uke poorly for your neighbor.
#10: “You shall not covet your neighbor's Ukes"

LMAO! 5 & 9...... :) Hell yea.

Plainsong
04-10-2011, 06:20 PM
Ask not what your uke can do for you, but what you can do for your uke.

KamakOzzie
04-11-2011, 12:24 AM
"Four score and seven Ukes ago........"

Plainsong
04-11-2011, 12:28 AM
"Four score and seven Ukes ago........"

I already did that one in the other uke quotes thread. Abe Lincoln had some bad UAS going there.

Come to think of it, certainly someone already did the one I just did in the post above? It seems so obvious.

ichadwick
04-11-2011, 01:21 AM
If ukulele did not exist, it would be necessary to invent one.

GrumpyOldMan
04-11-2011, 07:56 AM
10 good reasons why Ukuleles are better than women

1. My Ukulele doesn't mind if I don't want to play for a few weeks then want to play
all night every night for a few weeks.

2. I can compare my Ukulele to any other Ukulele without upsetting it

3. My Ukulele doesn't mind how much beer I drink

4. I can put my Ukulele down anytime!!

5. I don't have to keep telling my Ukulele I love it (it knows anyway)

6. My Ukulele doesn't get upset if I try out another mans Ukulele

7. My Ukulele understands that sometimes I just want to watch the telly instead

8. My Ukulele has never once wanted me to go shopping

9. My Ukulele never complains when I leave the toilet seat up

10. My Ukulele doesn't moan if I take it to the pub then ignore it all night.

Joe H
04-11-2011, 08:26 AM
Ukulele is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Tudorp
04-11-2011, 08:35 AM
I already did that one in the other uke quotes thread. Abe Lincoln had some bad UAS going there.

Come to think of it, certainly someone already did the one I just did in the post above? It seems so obvious.

How about this one for the UAS in us all?

"Four Ukes, and seven more to go!"

hoosierhiver
04-11-2011, 08:35 AM
The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, mad to play ukulele, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles.

molokinirum
04-11-2011, 08:46 AM
"Say hello to my little friend"

twilli7
10-21-2014, 08:12 AM
"I regret that I have but one uke to...no, three ukes to give...no, five ukes...no, eleven ukes to give for my country."

This is the best and most accurate quote yet. I am still laughing. (My wife is not, but I am)
Now my Quote: You can take the Ukulele out of Hawaii, but you can not the Hawaii out of the Ukulele! Uke On!

KnowsPickin
10-21-2014, 09:33 AM
I know...it's only ukulele, but I like it!

librainian
10-21-2014, 10:21 AM
To elaborate, or be more specific.. ;)

#10: “You shall not covet your neighbor's Ukes"

Oh crap... I'm going to hell.

librainian
10-21-2014, 10:25 AM
Do not go gently into that good night. Uke! uke! Against the dying of the light!

frisbee fred
10-21-2014, 11:34 AM
I own more ukes than I need, but not as many as I want.

Rllink
10-21-2014, 12:11 PM
"One of the things I love about being a ukulele player is that no matter where I go in the world to play, the audience has such low expectations. [This is] a huge plus for sure." Jake Shimabukuro

ubulele
10-21-2014, 12:12 PM
The road to hell is paved with ukuleles.

When life gives you lemons, write a uke song about it.

Ukulele: an instrument with tuners at one end and a fool at the other.

Love conquers all things except poverty and ukulele-playing.
Mae West

A people that values its ukuleles above its principles soon loses both.
Dwight D. Eisenhower

Buying your first ukulele is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Buying your second is the triumph of hope over experience.

Exposure is what a ukulelist dies of, sleeping in a doorway.
Dave van Ronk

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are busy playing ukulele.
Bertrand Russell

Honest criticism and ukulele playing are hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.
Franklin P. Jones

The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of ukuleles.
G.K. Chesterton

DownUpDave
10-21-2014, 02:10 PM
Ask not what your country can do for uke, ask what you can do for uke country

Nickie
10-21-2014, 03:34 PM
"Take two, they're small."

George Harrison

Memphis Weirdo
10-21-2014, 05:04 PM
.

"Any idiot can play the ukulele... and most idiots DO."

- my mother-in-law

.

ukulelekarcsi
10-21-2014, 11:16 PM
'And this machine tickles your ears'
W. Guthrie

Fred Ukestone
10-22-2014, 02:03 AM
We shall play ukulele until the end. We shall strum in France, we shall strum on the seas and oceans, we shall play with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our right to play, whatever the cost may be. We shall play on the beaches, we shall play on the landing grounds, we shall strum in the fields and in the streets, we shall strum in the hills; we shall never surrender.

The British Bulldog.

NewKid
10-22-2014, 03:06 AM
I uke, therefore I am.

kkimura
10-22-2014, 04:58 AM
Eastern Quote, "What is the sound of one uke strumming"

Western Quote, "If a uke strums in the forest where no one can hear it, does it make a sound"

bariukish
10-22-2014, 11:07 AM
"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the uke."

niwenomian
10-22-2014, 11:22 AM
"playing ukulele is 90% mental and the other half is physical" - Yogi Berra

"Uke or uke not, there is no try" -Yoda

"Ukulele is a little thing that makes a big difference" -Winston Churchill

ukulelekarcsi
10-22-2014, 09:57 PM
The same W. Churchill once stated:

"Never in the field of human conflict was so much music owed by so many players to so few strings".

Ukejenny
10-23-2014, 03:36 AM
"Welcome to heaven, here's your ukulele. Welcome to hell, here's your oboe."

based on one of my favorite cartoons... 72113

Luke El U
10-23-2014, 05:18 AM
One of my favorite poets wrote about it!

The Jumping Flea
by John Donne

MARK but this jumping flea, and mark in this,
How little that which thou deniest me is ;
It sucker'd me first, and now suckers thee,
And dwelling on this jumping flea our two minds mingled be.
Thou know'st that this cannot be said
A sin, nor shame, nor loss of homestead ;
Yet this instrument's sale ends before too soon,
And such a find will certainly be gone by tomorrow noon ;
To miss this, alas ! is what we should not do.

O play, four strings on this jumping flea here,
For which we saved almost, yea, more than a year.
This jumping flea is you and I, and this
Our marriage will save, and marriage's future is.
Though parents grudge and you berate
Beauty from these living walls of koa resonate
Though over use may make you apt to kill me,
Need not to that out-of-tuneness added be,
For well thou know'st "my dog has fleas."

Cruel and sudden, hast thou since
Approached this sale with such indifference?
Wherein could this jumping flea guilty be,
Except in that pittance which it asks of thee?
Yet thou protest, and say'st that thou
Find'st thyself and me the poorer now.
'Tis true ; then learn how false fears be ;
Just so much honour, when thou spend'st for me,
Will waste, as this jumping flea's purchase requires so little from thee.

bassballz
10-23-2014, 06:00 AM
(See my Signature)........Another from the late, great, Mr. Harrison

Cheers

Redeyejedi
10-23-2014, 08:19 AM
'these are not the ukes you're looking for'

Radio Flyer
10-23-2014, 01:55 PM
outside a dog, a uke is mans best friend, inside a dog it's to dark to play. Mark2

i love the smell of uke in the morning!

cletus
10-23-2014, 03:05 PM
"It's the thinking man's violin"

ubulele
10-23-2014, 04:19 PM
It is the mark of an educated man to enjoy the ukulele without a thought of playing it.
Aristotle

It's not how many we have but how well we play them that makes happiness.
Charles Spurgeon

There is only one happiness in this life: to play a custom Mya-Moe.
George Sand


George Bernard Shaw on ukulele:

Ukulele, sir, is what these people like: it is the only way in which a man can garner attention without ability.
Ukulele is a foolish expedient for making idle people believe they are doing something very clever, when they are only wasting their time.
My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right ukulele, and then to play it with the utmost levity.
Those who understand ukulele pardon it.
A critic recently described me, with deadly acuteness, as having 'a kindly dislike of my fellow-creatures.' Perhaps dread would have been nearer the mark than dislike; for man is the only animal with ukuleles.
[Re UAS:] The more a man possesses over and above what he uses, the more careworn he becomes.
Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than an ukulele is natural to a cockatoo.


Heraclitus on ukulele:

The only thing that is constant is the need to tune.
Big results require baritones.
The chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it - and sometimes an ukulele.
Out of every one hundred men, ten shouldn't even be there, eighty are just targets, nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is an ukulelist, and he will bring the others joy.
Time is an ukulele beautifully played by a fool.
The shift up the neck and the shift down are one and the same.
Man, like an ukulele in the middle of the night, is smashed and tossed out.

Redeyejedi
10-24-2014, 09:09 PM
for twd fans.....

'how many uke's have you played?'
'how many people have you played with?'
'why?'

lancemanion
10-26-2014, 12:52 AM
Ukuleles are great for picking up chicks (if you're into eighty year old chicks).