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View Full Version : Perfect Summer Days - Original song, lyric critique please?



philpot
04-15-2011, 07:06 AM
Wrote this today on a car ride. Tell me what you think!


Verse 1
Theres a breeze above blowing through the trees,
The sun comes out and he smiles at me,
Sometimes my day just starts out that way.

Blue sky above and the birds in the trees,
Sometimes it seems like they're singin to me,
It looks like another perfect day.

Chorus

So we'll go outside, Ride a bike,
Maybe even fly a kite,
Cuz it's just another perfect summer day...

We'll sit outside with nothing to say,
Baby we'll just waste the day
And tomorrow, we'll think of even better ways,

Cuz it's just another perfect summer day.

Verse 2
There's nothin to do, so let's go do it
It's a lazy day so let's get down to it!
We'll stare at the stars, and wish the night away.

It's a perfect day, you know it's true,
So I'll just waste my time with you
And tomorrow will be better than today.

Chorus

smilerandomly
05-17-2011, 12:49 PM
Do you write often? Those are great lyrics! And just in a car ride? Amazing. Id love to here how it sounds with music!

jhanover
08-21-2011, 03:47 AM
I actually have two poems published in a book out of Germany that are written in the poetic form of lyrics. Lyrics are still stronger than my musical ability guitar/ukulele playing. These are good lyrics, there is a little pace difference between first and second verse but nothing that playing and singing can't correct. I like quick writes you can come up with some wild stuff.

23skidoo
08-21-2011, 03:56 AM
sounds good, nice positive vibe, would also be curious to hear the tune..... been working on songwriting myself lately and coming with quality lyrics is definitely the hardest part for me.....

Mitch Dickson
08-21-2011, 04:15 AM
LOL! Well you did a pretty good job. I have never wrote happy songs, just dark ones. Something that will bring a tear to a glass eye :) Hey, John Denver and The Fifth Dimension did very good with happy songs. But then again there is Bob Dylan!

Mitch Dickson

jhanover
08-21-2011, 04:44 AM
I am strongest in lyrics more so than playing, advanced beginner on both guitar and ukulele. If you need any lyrics let me know would be happy to help you strengthen what you have or let you borrow some of mine.