Loss

Any one out there have any suggestions for getting over loss and playing again? Lost my husband and I'm having a hard time getting back into playing.

I am so sorry for your loss.

*hug*

I think we all go through our own process.

My cousin's husband died recently, and I've been playing Let It Be quite a bit.

May you find comfort and support all around you, all the time.

I'm terribly sorry to hear about the loss of your husband, zik.

Did he enjoy your playing? If so, I'm sure that he would want you to continue playing.

((zik))Perhaps find a local uke club and go sit in with them.

So sorry for your great loss.

Sometimes it helps to be absorbed in a new challenge. Maybe try and learn a new song. If it is diverting enough, you might get a little relief for a short while.

–Lori

I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you. Remember the good and the bad. Your love will always remain.

Aloha Zik,
I lost my father 3 and 1/2 years ago...I used to play when I was really young...After my father died had passed away, I was cleaning his room and came across his 5 decade old music books...
I asked My cousin to play at his funeral service( he has palyed at least 45 years) it was the most beautiful thing I heard....I got all choked up..a few days later I decided that I was
going to play the uke again....It filled the void for me and distracted my pain and loss... and filled it sweet sounds and some happiness...I hope it will do the same for you as it did for
me......My sincerest condolences to you and your family.....Good Luck and Happy Strummings...Let us know how it goes...You came to the right place, everyone here is really nice
and helpful...MM Stan

Very Sorry for your Loss...

Zik, I am so sorry for you loss. I have no answers for you. I think grief is mysterious and takes it's own time and it's own path. A friend was going to do X Y & Z and then poof, grief gone.... I don't believe it works that's way. My son died four years ago. Year one I was in various stages of numbness. Year two a form of depression. Year 3 recovery and reconnecting. Year four... Does it ever leave us? I am beginning to think not. That may not have been any help, and it didn't answer your question. It is a path you have to walk, and it DOES get easier, and my heart goes out to you. With love, Roxanne

I'm so sorry, Zik. Hopefully you'll find some small solace in making music.

I don't have words.

Just please keep on. Find joy again.

I'm so sorry for your loss. As people have said, grief affects us all differently and we all take our own path to recovery. For much less significant problems, I've been able to find a song that brings solace and then learn to play it on my uke.

Zik -

I hope you're able to find some little flicker of joy in music again - lose yourself in the music, take on new challenges to distract you from your reality, play the music your husband would've loved. Whatever it is, I hope you can find something to give you some focus in this very difficult time - and come here all you want and share - ukulele players are just about the kindest, sweetest, most loving group I've met...

mm stan said:

Aloha Zik,
I lost my father 3 and 1/2 years ago...I used to play when I was really young...After my died had passed away, I was cleaning his room and came across his 5 decade old music books...
I asked My cousin to play at his funeral service( he has palyed at least 45 years) it was the most beautiful thing I heard....I got all choked up..a few days later I decided that I was
going to play the uke again....It filled the void for me and distracted my pain and loss... and filled it sweet sounds and some happiness...I hope it will do the same for you as it did for
me......My sincerest condolences to you and your family.....Good Luck and Happy Strummings...Let us know how it goes...You came to the right place, everyone here is really nice
and helpful...MM Stan

Click to expand...

Aloha Zik,
I am sorry for your loss. I, too, was in the same situation as Stan was. My father passed away in 2007 and loved the fact that all his children played an instrument (ukulele, piano, guitar, etc.) and the music we made playing them. I had not played the ukulele since high school but after his death, I decided to play it again to help me deal with his passing. The ukulele brought back many happy memories of my father singing, playing with and enjoying his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I hope that you continue to play the ukulele to help with the loss of your husband and to continue on with your life. *hugs*

Mason671

I am so very sorry for your loss. I would suggest finding as much community as you feel able, even if it is just wandering through the forums here, it will help keep you connected to social support.

I lost my dad and my ex husband both in 2007, two months apart. I found out about my dad in an email from my brother. It was like being kicked in the gut by a mule.

My ex was one of my dearest family and friends for 25 years. He was doing fine and then he was just gone. The only thing that gets me through is I love the beauty in the world. Even thought it has so much potential for grief. I know that my time here, however long it will be, is short. I know I will be with them again. I don't know how but I am so certain of it. I have had amazing dreams and visions of loved ones, both people and animals. I see it as a trip across an ocean where I can't follow in their tracks just yet, but my turn will come. In the meanwhile on good days I don't want to give up one minute of potential for some joy. I want to know more things. I want to paint and play ukes, love on my dog and watch the garden grow, read a good book on the couch, cook a good meal for friends, feel an ocean breeze in my hair. I work my ass off and it wears me down but it does some good in the world. I have lost so many friends and family I am just about the last of my family, but I know that most of them would not begrudge me whatever time I have left, and would tell me to make the most of what time I have here.

I would think your husband would want the same for you. One thing I would say that helped me is that I talked a lot to them after they left, as if they were still here, because they never left my heart. I still do. Not in a walking down the street talking to myself and people know I don't have a bluetooth stuck in my ear. Just in the car, around the house, in my head. I feel strongly we are more connected than most of us realize in life, and that death is a transition, not an ending. I also know that doesn't help when we want to hold someone we love and it isn't possible. But we can and do make it through, moment by moment.

While feelings and emotions sometimes seem inescapable, their ability to impede actions is not healthy.

I think it is a must for you to have some way to communicate.

I don't have any advice but just wanted to add to the condolences, I am so very sorry for your loss..*squishes*

Hi Zik

with others, I feel so saddened for your massive loss. Wish I could offer you real concrete and practical advice, but in my life I have found that music has helped me through many tough times. Hop on board the forums here as you are able and use them as a kind of therapeutic distraction from your sadness. You will find some things to relieve you, bring you comfort, and even a laugh or two along the way as you grieve. Like Teek, I also have a friend who has spent quiet moments talking with their partner who has passed, and, over time, it has helped soften the blow. Maybe think of a song you both loved, and learn it. It may be a very raw, and painful step to take, but one that may help you to find a sense of peace and acceptance ultimately. I'm no counsellor but my heart is with you.

So sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. I can't imagine losing my wife, how terrible that would be. Are you getting counselling at all? If not might be worth looking into. btw just said a prayer for you for comfort and healing.