Invest in ukuleles or stocks?

As many of us watch our retirements melting away it made me think.
Invest in ukuleles!
Ukes don't fluctuate like stocks.
You may get money tossed at you as you play(sometimes to stop ) so theres your dividend.
P/E ratio: Playing to earning
You may get an ulcer from playing the stock market but not from playing a ukulele!

Ukes are great, but for serious investment, buy numismatic gold coinage. Stay away from commodity gold. When the USA did away with the "Gold Standard" they left a clause in the law to allow confiscation of "commodity" gold in the event of an economic financial emergency. Numismatic gold coinage is that minted before 1911 and "special collectible coins" that have greater than bullion value.