PDA

View Full Version : lyric writing challenge



Dougf
09-07-2011, 05:51 AM
Here's a little lyric writing challenge, I don't have any prizes to offer, but contributors will of course be given co-authorship credit, for whatever that's worth. :)

This is a little tune I've come up with, and I think it has sort of an off-kilter feel to it, and also has a bit of an old time Appalachian thing going on. So I'm thinking of lyrics that talk about things that are a bit out-of-whack, or some other kinds of incongruities. And maybe the lyrics could also evoke some mountain/rural lifestyle themes.

So here's what I have so far, but nothing's cast in concrete, just to give you an idea of what I'm thinking about. I've uploaded a sample video with this verse to also give a better idea.


Something wrong this morning
Rooster didn't crow
Only thing I heard
was fiddle and banjo

Banjo and fiddle
Rooster didn't crow
only thing I heard
was fiddle and banjo


So I guess the challenge would be to come up with additional lyrics (or replacements) that suggest things out of place, and also suggest rural life. I'm thinking maybe three or four additional verses. I also have an eight bar break toward the end, not sure how to work that in, but some words for that section might be good too.

Please submit your lyrics to this thread. I'm not sure how the final selection process will work, but maybe I'll try to figure out how to do a poll, or have some kind of voting system. I want to give people plenty of time, but I think a deadline is important, so how about a cut-off of Sunday, October 16?

Thanks everyone, hope this will be fun!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtO00bTCpHY


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtO00bTCpHY

Dougf
10-10-2011, 03:08 PM
Here's a link to the clawhammer version, still just one verse, but I had a lot of fun with it.

http://www.ukuleleunderground.com/forum/showthread.php?53710-Ukulele-Clawhammer-amp-one-man-jug-band

coriandre
10-11-2011, 02:47 AM
Loved your video Doug

How about this for a follow up ?

Sat on the porch
The sun didn't glow
But kept hearing
That fiddle and banjo

Dougf
10-11-2011, 03:38 AM
Yeah, I like it, I guess the "fiddle and banjo" is now sort of a tag line, cool.


Loved your video Doug

How about this for a follow up ?

Sat on the porch
The sun didn't glow
But kept hearing
That fiddle and banjo

coriandre
10-11-2011, 06:30 PM
This would mean you would have to incorporate a fiddle and a banjo at some point in the instrumentation. I love your clawhammer version. The banjo would be pretty easy to follow it. For the fiddle, I hear something off key in my head almost dissonant. It would actually follow the theme of the song (something wrong) and the various instrumentations you have already put in.

Dougf
10-12-2011, 03:52 AM
You're right, I think a fiddle and banjo would go really well with this song, and there are definitely dissonances going on. And the current arrangement is a little too heavy at the bottom end of the sound spectrum with the gutbucket bass, jug, and didgeridoo.

But I also think that in some ways it's kind of cool to have a song about fiddle and banjo, but only played on a uke. That and the fact that I'll never manage to learn fiddle. :)


This would mean you would have to incorporate a fiddle and a banjo at some point in the instrumentation. I love your clawhammer version. The banjo would be pretty easy to follow it. For the fiddle, I hear something off key in my head almost dissonant. It would actually follow the theme of the song (something wrong) and the various instrumentations you have already put in.

UkePA
10-12-2011, 04:16 AM
Lit the fire but it went right out.
No water coming from out of the spout.

Milked the cow but she went dry
Chickens trying to take to the sky

Erik

Dougf
10-13-2011, 03:34 AM
Nice, definitely in keeping with the rural theme and things off kilter.


Lit the fire but it went right out.
No water coming from out of the spout.

Milked the cow but she went dry
Chickens trying to take to the sky

Erik

ukuleledaveey
10-13-2011, 04:37 AM
the heavans they did open,
preachermen came raining down,
if only i wasnt agnostic,
i'm sure i wouldnt drown

the crops they are a wilting
from the heat from down below
lucifer is strumming on his
fiddle and banjo

im up the creek without a paddle
and a uke without some strings
ive got a horse without a saddle
but the saddness makes me sing

hope these are ok just made them up on the spot great competition by the way :)

coriandre
10-14-2011, 02:34 AM
Wow,

Great lyrics in my opinion. I think we need a chorus. Here are my thoughts using the current lyrics listed.....just having fun with it ! Go ahead and change anything-everything. It's not my song. I'm just having fun :p

Something wrong this morning
Rooster didn't crow
Only thing I heard
was fiddle and banjo

Sat on the porch
The sun didn't glow
But kept hearing
That fiddle and banjo

(chorus)
Fiddle and banjo, fiddle and banjo
the crops they are a wilting
from the heat from down below
lucifer is strumming on his
fiddle and banjo

the heavens they did open,
preachermen came raining down,
it seems I'm gonna drown
In that fiddle and banjo

im up the creek without a paddle
ive got a horse without a saddle
but the saddness makes me sing
To that fiddle and banjo

Fiddle and banjo, fiddle and banjo
the crops they are a wilting
from the heat from down below
lucifer is strumming on his fiddle and banjo

(bridge)
Lit the fire but it went right out.
No water coming from out of the spout.
Milked the cow but she went dry
Chickens trying to take to the sky


Fiddle and banjo, fiddle and banjo
the crops they are a wilting
from the heat from down below
lucifer is strumming on his
fiddle and banjo

Dougf
10-14-2011, 03:42 AM
Some great lines, love the Lucifer one. Classic.


the heavans they did open,
preachermen came raining down,
if only i wasnt agnostic,
i'm sure i wouldnt drown

the crops they are a wilting
from the heat from down below
lucifer is strumming on his
fiddle and banjo

im up the creek without a paddle
and a uke without some strings
ive got a horse without a saddle
but the saddness makes me sing

hope these are ok just made them up on the spot great competition by the way :)

Dougf
10-14-2011, 03:44 AM
Wow, seems like it's turning into a real song!


Wow,

Great lyrics in my opinion. I think we need a chorus. Here are my thoughts using the current lyrics listed.....just having fun with it ! Go ahead and change anything-everything. It's not my song. I'm just having fun :p

Something wrong this morning
Rooster didn't crow
Only thing I heard
was fiddle and banjo

Sat on the porch
The sun didn't glow
But kept hearing
That fiddle and banjo

(chorus)
Fiddle and banjo, fiddle and banjo
the crops they are a wilting
from the heat from down below
lucifer is strumming on his
fiddle and banjo

the heavens they did open,
preachermen came raining down,
it seems I'm gonna drown
In that fiddle and banjo

im up the creek without a paddle
ive got a horse without a saddle
but the saddness makes me sing
To that fiddle and banjo

Fiddle and banjo, fiddle and banjo
the crops they are a wilting
from the heat from down below
lucifer is strumming on his fiddle and banjo

(bridge)
Lit the fire but it went right out.
No water coming from out of the spout.
Milked the cow but she went dry
Chickens trying to take to the sky


Fiddle and banjo, fiddle and banjo
the crops they are a wilting
from the heat from down below
lucifer is strumming on his
fiddle and banjo

ukuleledaveey
10-14-2011, 11:42 AM
thanks :) ive always enjoyed writing lyrics/poems, be fantastic if you record it , just to know i was involved in something creative is such a buzz, must congratulate you on this fab thread, would be good to do it again sometime :) have a great weekend

Dougf
10-17-2011, 12:58 PM
Thanks everyone for your lyric suggestions. It may be a while before I get around to recording this again, and I'll probably still tweak it a bit. And I've still got a lot of practicing to get that clawhammer in shape. :)

Everyone who has contributed, please send me a PM with your name as you would like it to be listed in the authorship credits, as well as any other suggestions. Thanks again,

Doug