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Hippie Dribble
11-18-2011, 07:51 PM
well folks, it's about time we really answered the big questions on UU...

just who is JS's prefered sanitary supplier?

MGM
11-18-2011, 08:16 PM
Oh come on. TMI

mr moonlight
11-18-2011, 09:04 PM
We've finally gone down the toilet!

Hippie Dribble
11-18-2011, 09:13 PM
hmmm...sorry folks...guess it wasn't as funny as I first thought...was just poking fun at the countless 'Jake' threads on Uke Talk today...oh well, we live and (hopefully) learn :o

mr moonlight
11-18-2011, 09:48 PM
hmmm...sorry folks...guess it wasn't as funny as I first thought...was just poking fun at the countless 'Jake' threads on Uke Talk today...oh well, we live and (hopefully) learn :o
Don't get me wrong. I definitely did get a good laugh in!

foxfair
11-18-2011, 09:58 PM
hmmm...sorry folks...guess it wasn't as funny as I first thought...was just poking fun at the countless 'Jake' threads on Uke Talk today...oh well, we live and (hopefully) learn :o
I know, you are just jealous becoz you can't make it to his show... same here, same same..

mm stan
11-18-2011, 10:31 PM
Had a good laugh....ha ha.... okay Toilet Paper?? do you fold or are you a crumpler??

Hippie Dribble
11-18-2011, 10:41 PM
Had a good laugh....ha ha.... okay Toilet Paper?? do you fold or are you a crumpler??
crumpler mate, only way to go...more surface area he he

don't encourage me Stan , I already dug the hole :o

zac987
11-18-2011, 10:43 PM
Rough crowd! I always love me some satire.

mm stan
11-18-2011, 10:55 PM
Hey Eugene,
he he.....if you fold, you might get a second wipe...lol

Hippie Dribble
11-18-2011, 10:58 PM
Hey Eugene,
he he.....if you fold, you might get a second wipe...oh shoots

Bruddah I beg to differ...however we need to continue this conversation by way of PMs he he :stop::eek::biglaugh:

mm stan
11-18-2011, 11:06 PM
Bruddah I beg to differ...however we need to continue this conversation by way of PMs he he :stop::eek::biglaugh:

I agree, we need to flush the thoughts....at least we got some laughs...lol:rulez:

Hippie Dribble
11-18-2011, 11:12 PM
yes mate, we certainly must deodorise this pungent predicament :uhoh:
:deadhorse:

mr moonlight
11-18-2011, 11:18 PM
Folding, crumpling.... it's all barbaric!!!!

http://www.totousa.com/Washlet/WashletC110.aspx

Just press a button. The Japanese really know how to do it right.

Hippie Dribble
11-18-2011, 11:26 PM
Folding, crumpling.... it's all barbaric!!!!

http://www.totousa.com/Washlet/WashletC110.aspx

Just press a button. The Japanese really know how to do it right.

ew...I suddenly feel all squeamish LOL!!! A shower for your bum...who'd have thought it?

mr moonlight
11-18-2011, 11:37 PM
ew...I suddenly feel all squeamish LOL!!! A shower for your bum...who'd have thought it?Don't knock it til you've tried it! They also have versions that will lift the seat cover up, have a built in dryer, seat warmer and play music for you at various volumes depending on your requirements. ;)

Hippie Dribble
11-18-2011, 11:42 PM
Don't knock it til you've tried it! They also have versions that will lift the seat cover up, have a built in dryer, seat warmer and play music for you at various volumes depending on your requirements. ;)

oh that's alright then!!! LOL!!!! like the idea of a dryer...wonder what's on the jukebox...do you think it would have encouraging lyrics like in this song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcqHr8gpba0
kind of like a musical laxative he he
:rofl::biglaugh:

mm stan
11-18-2011, 11:54 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMFIJdKzycE&feature=relatedNo comment.......

consitter
11-19-2011, 12:07 AM
Wow...this thread takes toilet humor to a whole new level.

ksiegel
11-19-2011, 06:32 AM
That's exactly how I thought you were approaching the topic.

And I vote for the old Elementary School Lowest Bid toilet paper - the kind that still had wood chips in it.



-Kurt


hmmm...sorry folks...guess it wasn't as funny as I first thought...was just poking fun at the countless 'Jake' threads on Uke Talk today...oh well, we live and (hopefully) learn :o

Dan Uke
11-19-2011, 06:36 AM
He a robot and doesn't need to use the toilet. No human can possibly play the uke that well!!

TCK
11-19-2011, 06:53 AM
I love this place...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTsXlTKaFq0

rem50
11-19-2011, 07:07 AM
this thread has supplied me with a more in depth look at some of you :) Ha!

alndrkmp
11-19-2011, 07:11 AM
Come on guys this is a serious question. If we start using the same brand it WILL improve our playing.

Plainsong
11-19-2011, 10:16 AM
I'm not sure of the brand, but you can win a spot in a lottery that gives you the honor of buying the toilet paper for 4 times the cost. It will take some years to get, and have his initials embossed in it. You can then put it on eBay for 10 times the cost... As long as you never use the toilet paper.

Gmoney
11-19-2011, 03:26 PM
really?!? Its no contest.

Kleenex - blowing ones nose, sure, but not for the bum

Cottonelle?? - Having lived in the Southern US all of my life - have you actually SEEN & handled Cotton Bolls?? My son actually picked a couple of summers as our next door neighbor owned a few 1000 acres. Cottonelle is RIGHT OUT!

Angel Soft?!?! - have you see the movies w/John Travolta or Nicolas Gage - inspire you for their softness??? NOPE

Charmin - I have to think that Jake would choose this "softer than a baby's behind" brand for his own. After all, who could concentrate on his music as much as he does while in utter agony from the "sandpaper" passed off as TP in the latest green room of the night's gig.

olgoat52
11-19-2011, 04:20 PM
Jakes wrist action is so fast I think you need to take the thermal factors into account. On the one hand (probably right hand) you have the effect of the friction on the skin contact area to consider, so a charmin or something similar would be a good idea, but then you have to consider what the brands resistance to the heat generated by the triplet butt strum speed. Tough call. Maybe Rick Turner has some empirical data to contribute to this..

Personally, I always use a dollar (3 quarters, 2 dimes and a nickle..)

Hippie Dribble
11-19-2011, 04:45 PM
he he...just catching up on this...you guys are cracking me up...

I'm pooped...(oops, sorry he he)

didgeridoo2
11-19-2011, 04:51 PM
You folks really know how to get to the bottom of things.

Hippie Dribble
11-19-2011, 05:01 PM
he he...reminds me of a joke my friend told me once...

"Doctor! Doctor! I need a new butt! Mine's got a crack in it..." :o

consitter
11-19-2011, 06:16 PM
he he...reminds me of a joke my friend told me once...

"Doctor! Doctor! I need a new butt! Mine's got a crack in it..." :o

That one is older than the crust in Jake's underwear! (Secret revealed--he never uses toilet paper!!)

webby
11-20-2011, 02:07 AM
My wife said she wanted bigger boobs, I said swipe some toilet paper between them, she said will that work, i said well it worked for your arse didnt it ?

kissing
11-20-2011, 02:57 AM
What's interesting is that there is clearly one brand with the majority votes.
Is there a particular reason!?

<eM>Burr
11-20-2011, 03:46 AM
I had to go with other...

since he is so "famous" I think he now uses a "Bidet" (http://www.toiletsforyou.com/types-of-toilets/bidet-toilets). With nice cotton towels.

23skidoo
11-20-2011, 04:08 AM
An American Indian chief went to town to do the shopping for his tribe. After finishing up the rest of his list, he came to the last item - toilet paper. He went into the dry goods store and told the man behind the counter "I need toilet paper for my tribe."

"Well, Chief, we've got two choices. You can get the premium brand, which costs $1.00 a roll or you can get the generic brand, which costs 50 cents. Which will it be?"

Now the Chief, being a practical and miserly man, didn't hesitate. "We'll take the generic, please."

He collected his purchase and went on his way.

The next month, the Chief returned to town for more supplies. He ended up at the dry goods store for more toilet paper.

"What'll it be, Chief? Do you want more of the generic toilet paper?"

The Chief replied, "No, thanks, we'll take the premium."

"Why the change?" the clerk asked him.

"Well, let's just say we call that cheap toilet paper the John Wayne brand."

"Why is that?"

"Because it's rough, tough, and don't take no $hit from Indians!"


And Jake doesn't use toilet paper - he's like the shining star in a big Hollywood production and doesn't actually have to lower himself to use the toilet like the rest of us.....:D

Plainsong
11-20-2011, 04:08 AM
What's interesting is that there is clearly one brand with the majority votes.
Is there a particular reason!?

Charmin is the first and most traditional of all the C brands.

joejeweler
11-20-2011, 04:53 AM
crumpler mate, only way to go...more surface area he he

don't encourage me Stan , I already dug the hole :o

Wow,......you take on serious risk being a "crumpler"! There is no way to tell if you have created a "weak link", ie,..thin spot in the construction. You are opening the back door to a dreaded TPM. (Toilet Paper Malfunction)

No matter how careful the crumple, a finger poking thru is always a possibility! :uhoh:

"That" will put a frown on your face quicker than remembering you forgot your uke halfway to a gig.

Nope,...for us amature builders and tinkerers,....a carefully laid out and folded strip of TP (multiple times) is the only way to reasonable guarentee a uniform and suffecient thickness to prevent a TPM.

......call it the "Prevent Defense" of the bathroom. Why leave such a critical "asset" of your well being to total randomness and chance? I prefer to plan ahead with a systematic approach, in carefully folding an arms spread length of TP to engage the enemy at the appropriate time and with plenty of ammunition, so to speak.

For me,....my equipment of choice was not listed, so i'll put a plug in for "Scott's Tissue". It surely works well in this
most underated task, and is consistant in manufacture and lasts a long time per roll. No surprise TPM in decades of use, .......what more could you ask?

PS,....YES,....i have learned this lessen the hard way!
I choose NOT to combine bathroom chores with a proctology exam!

BTW,....most trees produce a darker wood,....and TP is made from trees yet is usually white,.....WHY?
(sounds like something Andy Rooney might have thought about,...RIP Andy)

C O N T R A S T,.......you want to KNOW where it's been! Multiple useage is not a strong point with TP. :o

OldePhart
11-20-2011, 09:20 AM
I'm not sure of the brand, but you can win a spot in a lottery that gives you the honor of buying the toilet paper for 4 times the cost. It will take some years to get, and have his initials embossed in it. You can then put it on eBay for 10 times the cost... As long as you never use the toilet paper.
BWAAAA-HAAAAAA - excellent! I've never understood the whole "signature instrument" thing, either! If I'm going to pay extra money for somebody's name, signature, or initials on an instrument it better darn well be MY name, signature, or initials!

haolejohn
11-20-2011, 09:28 AM
well folks, it's about time we really answered the big questions on UU...

just who is JS's prefered sanitary supplier?

My all time favorite thread...I think we have a winner until I see some of the first responses. Oh well. Jon, I love the humor. Don't worry about the tight wads.

ukuhippo
11-20-2011, 09:40 AM
well folks, it's about time we really answered the big questions on UU...

just who is JS's prefered sanitary supplier?

My vote goes to: Unused.

mm stan
11-20-2011, 11:43 AM
Another question gang...single or double layer TP.. ha ha.... don''t go cheap and get any tear throughs..hee hee that shit on you hands..
As for me cottenelle.. how about the toilet seat cover... up or down????? ha ha

Hippie Dribble
11-20-2011, 12:08 PM
that was my point Bruddah...if you crumple in a certain way, one ends up with multiple layers mate he he...oh, toilet seat down to maintaion domestic harmony and ensure that appropriate bathroom decorum is observed for the benefit of visitors...ie ...foreign bums he he
Another question gang...single or double layer TP.. ha ha.... don''t go cheap and get any tear throughs..hee hee that shit on you hands..
As for me cottenelle.. how about the toilet seat cover... up or down????? ha ha

olgoat52
11-20-2011, 06:17 PM
Now if we really want some mega hits on this thread, we need to ask what brand Taylor Swift is using, whether she even knows how to use it and can anyone identify the brand from a photo of her using it on stage..

mds725
02-22-2012, 11:58 AM
What's interesting is that there is clearly one brand with the majority votes.
Is there a particular reason!?

Charmin is the first and most traditional of all the C brands.

I think Charmin has done so well in this poll because squeezing the Charmin is a great way to strengthen your fretting hand. Or maybe "squeezing the Charmin" is a euphamism for some sort of exotic strum. Also, I think George Whipple may have been an ukulele player.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ci3qNPRHDvs

Hippie Dribble
02-22-2012, 12:19 PM
oooh, squeeze away folks...

so "folding" and "crumpling" are no longer the only two options for lavatorial etiquette...

hmmm, based upon Mark's new revealed truth, Jake is clearly a bigtime squeezer :p

finkdaddy
02-22-2012, 12:27 PM
I heard when Jake was young he would practice any where he could.
And here's the proof!
http://notesfromtheslushpile.co.uk/homesweetshed/images/toilet_ukulele.jpg

kaizersoza
02-22-2012, 12:30 PM
i'm a folder and it has to be folded on the perforated lines, three squares for the first ASSault, then gradually cut it down to two until cleanliness achieved, then a swift wet wipe or two for sweetness lol

Hippie Dribble
02-22-2012, 12:33 PM
I heard when Jake was young he would practice any where he could.
And here's the proof!
http://notesfromtheslushpile.co.uk/homesweetshed/images/toilet_ukulele.jpg

aaah yes finkdaddy, some of the greatest started from humble beginnings such as you depict...

34090

:biglaugh:

1931jim
02-22-2012, 01:59 PM
I heard when Jake was young he would practice any where he could.
And here's the proof!
http://notesfromtheslushpile.co.uk/homesweetshed/images/toilet_ukulele.jpg
Brings new meaning to "Jammin' in the John."

Nickie
02-22-2012, 05:12 PM
What? You guys kill me. I guess Jake threads have 'jumped the shark', eh? At least you got me grinning. I've had a bitch of a day...

ukuhippo
02-22-2012, 10:12 PM
i'm a folder

After some research:
In general, men are folders, women do origami.

brUKEman
02-23-2012, 12:27 AM
34121

Now do I get the soprano/concert or tenor size?