Spousal support

itsme · Jan 1, 2012

My husband does support my playing, even if he often makes comments like, "Well, are you going to play one of those repulsive little twangy things of yours tonight?"

The other day an old friend called and said he wanted me to back him on SOTR ala the Iz arrangement. He has major recording equipment in his apt so that might be fun.

Anyway, I got out both of my low G tenors and and started bonking a few chords on them and asked my hubby which he thought sounded better. I fully expected him to say either "the first one" or "the second one" or "I can't tell any difference."

Instead, he said, "I like the tone on the Mainland better than the Yairi for that piece." I had not told him which instruments I was playing, he just remembered them on his own.

I was pretty flabbergasted.

GVlog · Jan 1, 2012

Rather exceptional.

I would be quite surprised if my spouse could identify any of my instruments beyond "that one" and "that other one".

Teek · Jan 1, 2012

Mine actually knows most of mine on sight and can remember the name of his own as well. He even knows two of the guitars. It didn't occur to me that it would be rare. He's also supportive, for which I am profoundly grateful.

Pippin · Jan 1, 2012

My wife keeps track of them pretty well... and even has a favorite... "the pineapple sunday".

Gwynedd · Jan 1, 2012

Really, the spouse should be somewhat in the know. My late husband was a didge player and we had a lot of fun running round Europe and playing with some exceptional people (Ganga Giri, Eddie Halat) I knew all my husband's didges, I used to know where he got them, who made them and the wood they were made out of (stringy bark eucalyptus, bamboo, etc.) I'd go with him to many of the meets, though not all. I don't play it. Just doesn't float my boat. But I enjoy the music and enjoyed learning who were the masters and their different styles.

If you are married, it's NICE to have an audience built in! My husband was certainly knowledgeable about my piano, even if he didn't play.

ukegirl · Jan 1, 2012

My husband did not really care for music of any kind....of course he is my ex-husband now! Next guy I marry will be at least a music appreciator (including the Uke) if not a player them self....

Gwynedd · Jan 1, 2012

Definitely. You don't even have to like the same music. I like classical and folk, he liked fusion and rock, neither of which I appreciate much. But we loved music and that was good. We also liked to play games (cards, board games, even Age of Conquerors) and that was fun, too. You have to be able to be on a desert island together, able to amuse each other (a uke would help!)

PhilUSAFRet · Jan 1, 2012

I was a little worried after your first statement, but sounds like he's coming right along! Good for you. Perhaps, before you know it, he'll pick one up and start fooling around with it. Who knows, stranger things have happened. Good luck

saltytri · Jan 1, 2012

Of course, it flows both ways across the divide between the sexes. When I took up the ukulele again after a lapse of a few decades, my wife eyed the whole thing for a while and joined in. Then, when I decided to try my hand at building an instrument, she laid claim to it. I made sure that the neck was thin and the fretboard narrow for her very small hands. That sealed the deal and now we regularly go to the strum group together.

One of her buddies felt the aloha and has also joined in, and so it goes....

dkcrown · Jan 1, 2012

My spouse wouldn't know a KoAloha from a Kala. But that is because she is my ex-spouse! I took up the uke after we split.

Speaking of which, Hey ukegirl "how ya doin'?"

ricdoug · Jan 1, 2012

My wife and I are total opposites on everything from music to politics. We're also happily married. She could care less about any of my 62 guitars or 15 ukuleles, so I get to play all them myself! :smileybounce:

OldePhart · Jan 1, 2012

ricdoug said:
My wife and I are total opposites on everything from music to politics. We're also happily married. She could care less about any of my 62 guitars or 15 ukuleles, so I get to play all them myself! :smileybounce:

Yep, this +1

If my wife and I were any more different...well...I'm not sure that would be possible. We both love music but completely different types - she plays piano and keyboards and for a long time hated guitar (especially screaming overdriven electric guitar, which, of course, pretty much defines my life). We learned to tolerate each other fairly well...3 kids...12 grandkids...and married 34 years this spring.

Along the way we learned not to sweat the small stuff...not to go batsmack crazy over little things that bug us...and to enjoy our own interests without going out of our way to do things that we know drive the other one batsmack crazy or to demand that the other must enjoy the same things we do. I see a lot of young married couples that try to force the "we're one person with one life" thing because they think that's what love is when, if anything, love is exactly the opposite. Love is the ability to cherish the companionship of another even when that means giving the other enough space to have their own interests that we may not share.

John

GinnyT11 · Jan 1, 2012

Responding to the original post, I was a non-involved, non-K-knowing spouse for a good long while. I fooled around with a Bushman Jenny for a bit in 2006, then set it aside, while Mr.T went riding upward on a musical escalator to really fine playing on really fine instruments.

But last summer we vacationed in Hawaii and the search for a special concert uke for Mr.T was a theme of our trip. (We found it--he has told that story elsewhere.) That sniffing around uke stores, holding many ukes and watching him figure out what felt and sounded good changed me. The experience together was so fun that when we got home I picked up my Jenny and worked a little harder, and then...UAS got me!!!

GinnyT11 · Jan 1, 2012

I see a lot of young married couples that try to force the "we're one person with one life" thing because they think that's what love is when, if anything, love is exactly the opposite. Love is the ability to cherish the companionship of another even when that means giving the other enough space to have their own interests that we may not share.

This reminds me of some words of wisdom from a great romancer, Julio Iglesias...

"There are three kinds of love: the kind where you cannot breathe, the kind where you breathe together, and the kind where you breathe separately."

Which is it when you say, "I'll play upstairs. Hand me that tuner if you're done with it"?

ricdoug · Jan 1, 2012

Atleast this couple dances together:

http://sorisomail.com/email/74298/como-se-danca-o-merengue.html

ksiegel · Jan 1, 2012

My wife can easily tell the difference between the KoAloha Sceptre, the Vita Uke, the Fluke, and the Kala (The four I play the most), as well as the different sounds of the Stella and Firefly banjo ukes.

And I can tell at a glance which circular knitting needles she's using, or if she's using the bamboo, rosewood, stainless steel, or laminated double-end needles. Sometimes I can recognized the yearn at a glance, but not always.

I do, however, accompany her to the yarn shop and wool festivals, and understand about spinning (both drop and wheel), winders and swifts, and other assorted equipment. It probably helps that I did some knitting 40+ years ago, and have done some spinning and weaving. And she can read music, sings, and has actually had music lessons in the past.

She doesn't have any problems when I mention that I'm buying another instrument, either - or when I mention that I may want to sell one or two... {But, she says,"... NEVER the Sceptre!")

RyanMFT · Jan 1, 2012

I feel very lucky after reading this thread.

My wife is super supportive, and is always asking me about my ukuleles. It isn't her thing, and she isn't a player, but she knows and sees how much pleasure the instruments and music bring me. She encourages me to look for vintage ukuleles and not only knows all my different instruments but has given them nicknames.

Of course, I am really invested in her passions and interests and attend lots of her events, so I guess it really is a two way street with us.

Seems like there are lots of ways it can work for different couples.

Plainsong · Jan 2, 2012

My husband always says he'd play uke if he could play like Bosko. Otherwise he prefers bass or guitar, and thinks it better sounding if we have varied instrumentation, and he's not wrong. I prefer that fuller sound too. Maybe it was his dad's mandolin, but he could happily listen to me uke badly all day. He's not too critically tuned into which sounds better, but he thinks the Kanilea us far and away the coolest looking, and why that one gets the pickup. (Though he loves the design of the Koaloha, he prefers how the koa on the Kanilea was cured.) The one that looks cool gets electrified, those are the rules.

Sadly he doesnt play so much anymore, but his appreciation of handcrafted wooden things comes more from his love of pipes now. It's great that we can take the things that we're into, and talk about them in relation to the things the spouse is into. I can use ukes to talk about the figuring on his pipes, and he can use his pipes to talk about my ukes.

I can't imagine him saying or even thinking of saying what the op's husband said. Out if all the things on his radar, insulting uke isn't one of them.

Now if I could just get his love and understanding of animals to stretch to horses. The man is a Goose Whisperer for crying out loud. Horses want you to figure them out, and he's afraid of them.

bbqribs · Jan 2, 2012

I'm trying to get spousal support. (Or should I say my divorce attorney is?)

mattydee · Jan 2, 2012

When my wife and I took a vacation to Mexico early last year, I brought my Ohana SK-10. We were there for a week, and every day, at cocktail hour, we'd get a pair of mojitos and take over this little secluded hammock at the hotel restaurant. And, for an hour, I would play, and she would read. Now, nearly a year (and a few ukes) later, the only one she can tell is different is the pineapple Eleuke, but whenever we spend the day together, she still asks for ukulele hour .

This makes me happier than anyone could possibly imagine.

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