I don't know what to do :( could someone help...?

kamaka_4_life

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Hey guys, I know this is kind of a weird question to ask, but I wanted your opinions on what I should do. So I posted the other day that I wanted to give my old uke away to a friend, the thing is, I had to ask my parents permission first since they purchased it for me. My mom said no, however I really think this uke deserves a new life and a new home. The uke was purchased about 5-6 years ago for around $250-300, and I only played it for about 2 years before I got my Kamaka. I don't play it at all anymore since it sits in my room, but I really really wanna give it away :( does anybody have some advice on how I can convince them to let me send it? Thanks
 
I think it would help to know why your mom is opposed to your selling your old ukulele. Did you ask her why she said "no"? If you can address whatever her concerns are, maybe you can change her mind. Does she know that you don't play it now that you have a Kamaka? If it's about the fact that your parents bought it or you, maybe you could offer to repay them for it?
 
I think it would help to know why your mom is opposed to your selling your old ukulele. Did you ask her why she said "no"? If you can address whatever her concerns are, maybe you can change her mind. Does she know that you don't play it now that you have a Kamaka? If it's about the fact that your parents bought it or you, maybe you could offer to repay them for it?

Yea, she said no because we paid a lot of money for it, and she doesn't think it's right that I just give something that expensive away to someone. And she knows I don't use it at all because I have my Kamaka. I asked her if I could pay her back, but she still insisted no. :(
 
Oh, and I forgot to mention, this "friend" of mine, is actually a YouTube girl, and she is really a nice and talented musician. The thing is, she doesn't have the money to buy herself a uke, and has to borrow her friends one to play. I "think" my mom opposes because I hardly know her, but I really think she deserves it...

This is her channel:http://www.youtube.com/user/BarelyAsian5
Please check her out and support her vids :)
 
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1. How old are you?
2. If you are over 18, seriously, the thing is yours and you can do as you wish.

I had a parent who never actually "gave" anything. If you got a present, it would end up back with the parent somehow, when it suited his purpose. That is not a way to give presents. As a matter of fact, I did something to annoy said parent (couldn't control my teenage brother when they went on holiday, duh, and went to college and paid for it after he ripped up my scholarship) and all my musical instruments were "returned" home. They are, after 40 years, still there rotting in the desert heat.

The moral of the story is, a gift is a gift. However, if you are underage and living under a parent's roof, you have to abide by their rules. However, technically, if someone gives you something as "yours" it is YOURS. You could run it under a bus. That would show bad judgment, and they'd be unlikely to give you anything again but morally you could...

I suggest you converse with your mom and let her know your musicianship has grown to to a point where the new ukulele is more suited to your skill and that the previous ukulele needs a new home because good as it is, you have progressed and OUTGROWN it. Perhaps you could sell it. It may be the give away that is bothering her. Money out the door.
 
I'd insist that the money spent on the uke would be wasted if it were just to sit around the house not being used. If they still disagree with you, well unfortunately there isn't much more you can do bar disobeying your parents. They did pay for it after all.
 
Give it a while. Maybe she's expecting you to forget about it or move on to other things. I vote give it time, and when your mom sees you still haven't forgotten about it, maybe she'll relent.
 
That is a tough one. I am all for honoring your parent. I'm not sure what the best thing to do with that. I mean, as a parent myself, I am always proud of any of my kids that have a giving heart and want to give to someone that doesn't have. Maybe explain to her that you just feel to give to someone less fortunate is a good thing, and she should be proud that you have that mindset.
 
Pretty much this. She could be just wrong, as in the below example.

Or she could know you better than you know yourself, know completely what your feelings are, and doesn't want to see you taken advantage of. It's not uncommon for musicians to keep their first instrument, and frankly if I was her, you'd get the same answer. I mean I met my husband online, but that was us, and I don't trust YouTube girl. If that's the feeling I get, then imagine the feeling your mom gets. YouTube girls should feel the same for you regardless of the gifts you bribe her with. Mom is protecting you, even if you think you haven't told her anything.

Or, if she's just controlling, and in these years that side does tend to come out, then move. Then you can do what you like.

1. How old are you?
2. If you are over 18, seriously, the thing is yours and you can do as you wish.

I had a parent who never actually "gave" anything. If you got a present, it would end up back with the parent somehow, when it suited his purpose. That is not a way to give presents. As a matter of fact, I did something to annoy said parent (couldn't control my teenage brother when they went on holiday, duh, and went to college and paid for it after he ripped up my scholarship) and all my musical instruments were "returned" home. They are, after 40 years, still there rotting in the desert heat.

The moral of the story is, a gift is a gift. However, if you are underage and living under a parent's roof, you have to abide by their rules. However, technically, if someone gives you something as "yours" it is YOURS. You could run it under a bus. That would show bad judgment, and they'd be unlikely to give you anything again but morally you could...

I suggest you converse with your mom and let her know your musicianship has grown to to a point where the new ukulele is more suited to your skill and that the previous ukulele needs a new home because good as it is, you have progressed and OUTGROWN it. Perhaps you could sell it. It may be the give away that is bothering her. Money out the door.
 
If the uke was bought for you some years ago after sacrifice and saving to get you something nice, then you should have some understanding and respect for the thought behind the thing. Parents are notorious for being practical and "wise" when it comes to things like this. Suppose, for what ever reason, the Kamaka is suddenly unplayable or in need of repair, what will you play? Having a "backup" uke is a good thing. I'd keep it.

I am the kind of person that does not feel the need to build a huge collection of anything, and I do believe in giving-- and thoroughly enjoy it, but gifts are something special and I respect that.
 
I asked her if I could pay her back, but she still insisted no. :(

If you're willing and able to pay money for the uke to your mother, then why not just buy a new uke outright for the same price as whatever you were planning on paying your mom? Then send that uke to your "friend"? Problem solved.

That said, here are a few points from an old guy who's been around the block a time or two and seen a lot of things. :) While it's great that you want to give a gift to a cute girl you're crushing on (which, let's face it, is really what this was about... if your YouTube friend were a fat, middle-aged man, you would probably not be sending him doodly, amiright?), you should tread carefully. For one, you don't want to come on too strong. For two, you don't want to make a sizable "investment" when there's a chance you'll get burned. And does she even want a ukulele? Or is it more that you want to give her one because you like ukuleles?

Anyway, if I were you, I'd start small. I"m talking Makala Dolphin. They're fun, they're cute, and they're priced at a low-enough level that would make a girl receiving one think "oh, what a sweet guy!" and not "omg I have a stalker who is trying to buy my affection with expensive things!" :p On the other side of the coin, if she turns out to just be someone who is using her looks and charms to get random people to send her things--and hey, it happens--you won't be out too much money.

Finally, there's no reason to let what sounds like a really nice uke just sit around. Try tuning it to D. Or put a low-G string on it. That way it fills a gap that your main uke doesn't.

Good luck!

JJ
 
I appreciate the desire to give your old ukulele to someone, but I tend to agree with Ukulele JJ's post above... why not get her a different uke with the money you would be willing to pay your parents for the one they gave you?

However, just to throw a wrench into the works, it occurs to me that if I were "YouTube Girl" and someone messaged me saying "I want to give you this ukulele... what's your address so I can send it to you?" I would be VERY HESITANT to give my address. Well, actually, that should read "I would NOT give my address". And I'd be REALLY uncomfortable with the entire situation. I'm not saying that you aren't sincere and honorable, but if I were her I would not accept it in the first place.
 
I agree with JJ and Chris T. On one of this girl's videos you can hear her mom advising her on what to say on the video. Seems to me she has a caring parent who can provide a piano, lessons, a computer and Internet access. I suspect they can afford a uke if she really wanted one.

You could show your interest by playing something on your uke for her. Not a bad motivation to practice actually. :)
 
While it's great that you want to give a gift to a cute girl you're crushing on (which, let's face it, is really what this was about... if your YouTube friend were a fat, middle-aged man, you would probably not be sending him doodly, amiright?)

I just wanted to say, for anybody who DOES want to provide free instruments to fat, middle-aged men, my phone banks are open 24 hours.
 
As JJ pointed out, your crush is what this is all about. Have you ever met her or have had social contact? Go to the same school or live in the neighborhood. Or has all contact been through the internet? Does she know of you? Before you decide on giving something away go meet her and try to get to know her, could possibly be the start of a relationship or not. On a side note, I noticed the name of the school she plays for. Sacramento Waldorf, that's in Fair Oaks just outside of Sac. Are you also from this area? I'm in the South area just before EG.
 
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Put yourself in your parents shoes...

Would you want your son to give away an expensive present you bought for him to a girl on YouTube that he hasn't even met and doesn't really know?!...

I would Appreciate the Uke my parents bought for me and play it every once in awhile and hand it down to one of my kids one day.

The YouTube girl has her friends ukulele she can borrow until she eventually gets her own.
 
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Honor you parents wishes....as for your um crush, buying her affection may not work out...you might creep her out...she might not even give you her correct address... I am sure she is a nice girl, but be careful.... Good Luck...
Hope she lives in Kalihi too....maybe subscribe to her first would be the first step.....
 
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I don't know, but maybe your parents saved hard to get you that uke. Maybe to them it looks like you're just haphazardly tossing aside their gift to you by giving it away to random Youtube girl that you don't even know?

I like these thoughts:

why not just buy a new uke outright for the same price as whatever you were planning on paying your mom? Then send that uke to your "friend"? Problem solved.

she has a caring parent who can provide a piano, lessons, a computer and Internet access. I suspect they can afford a uke if she really wanted one.

Anyway, if I were you, I'd start small. I"m talking Makala Dolphin. On the other side of the coin, if she turns out to just be someone who is using her looks and charms to get random people to send her things.

My final 2 cents: Record her a song, keep your uke, everybody wins... :)

Random comment: Her rendition of UP was very nice.
 
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