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kamaka_4_life
01-07-2012, 10:29 PM
Hey guys, I know this is kind of a weird question to ask, but I wanted your opinions on what I should do. So I posted the other day that I wanted to give my old uke away to a friend, the thing is, I had to ask my parents permission first since they purchased it for me. My mom said no, however I really think this uke deserves a new life and a new home. The uke was purchased about 5-6 years ago for around $250-300, and I only played it for about 2 years before I got my Kamaka. I don't play it at all anymore since it sits in my room, but I really really wanna give it away :( does anybody have some advice on how I can convince them to let me send it? Thanks

mds725
01-07-2012, 11:16 PM
I think it would help to know why your mom is opposed to your selling your old ukulele. Did you ask her why she said "no"? If you can address whatever her concerns are, maybe you can change her mind. Does she know that you don't play it now that you have a Kamaka? If it's about the fact that your parents bought it or you, maybe you could offer to repay them for it?

kamaka_4_life
01-07-2012, 11:19 PM
I think it would help to know why your mom is opposed to your selling your old ukulele. Did you ask her why she said "no"? If you can address whatever her concerns are, maybe you can change her mind. Does she know that you don't play it now that you have a Kamaka? If it's about the fact that your parents bought it or you, maybe you could offer to repay them for it?

Yea, she said no because we paid a lot of money for it, and she doesn't think it's right that I just give something that expensive away to someone. And she knows I don't use it at all because I have my Kamaka. I asked her if I could pay her back, but she still insisted no. :(

kamaka_4_life
01-07-2012, 11:26 PM
Oh, and I forgot to mention, this "friend" of mine, is actually a YouTube girl, and she is really a nice and talented musician. The thing is, she doesn't have the money to buy herself a uke, and has to borrow her friends one to play. I "think" my mom opposes because I hardly know her, but I really think she deserves it...

This is her channel:http://www.youtube.com/user/BarelyAsian5
Please check her out and support her vids :)

Gwynedd
01-07-2012, 11:30 PM
1. How old are you?
2. If you are over 18, seriously, the thing is yours and you can do as you wish.

I had a parent who never actually "gave" anything. If you got a present, it would end up back with the parent somehow, when it suited his purpose. That is not a way to give presents. As a matter of fact, I did something to annoy said parent (couldn't control my teenage brother when they went on holiday, duh, and went to college and paid for it after he ripped up my scholarship) and all my musical instruments were "returned" home. They are, after 40 years, still there rotting in the desert heat.

The moral of the story is, a gift is a gift. However, if you are underage and living under a parent's roof, you have to abide by their rules. However, technically, if someone gives you something as "yours" it is YOURS. You could run it under a bus. That would show bad judgment, and they'd be unlikely to give you anything again but morally you could...

I suggest you converse with your mom and let her know your musicianship has grown to to a point where the new ukulele is more suited to your skill and that the previous ukulele needs a new home because good as it is, you have progressed and OUTGROWN it. Perhaps you could sell it. It may be the give away that is bothering her. Money out the door.

ukuloko
01-07-2012, 11:33 PM
I'd insist that the money spent on the uke would be wasted if it were just to sit around the house not being used. If they still disagree with you, well unfortunately there isn't much more you can do bar disobeying your parents. They did pay for it after all.

austin1
01-07-2012, 11:40 PM
Give it a while. Maybe she's expecting you to forget about it or move on to other things. I vote give it time, and when your mom sees you still haven't forgotten about it, maybe she'll relent.

Tudorp
01-08-2012, 02:02 AM
That is a tough one. I am all for honoring your parent. I'm not sure what the best thing to do with that. I mean, as a parent myself, I am always proud of any of my kids that have a giving heart and want to give to someone that doesn't have. Maybe explain to her that you just feel to give to someone less fortunate is a good thing, and she should be proud that you have that mindset.

kissing
01-08-2012, 02:08 AM
And I "secretly" have a crush on her, which I did not mention LOLOL

This is her channel:http://www.youtube.com/user/BarelyAsian5
Please check her out and support her vids :)

Dude, you just announced it on the internet..

Plainsong
01-08-2012, 02:15 AM
Pretty much this. She could be just wrong, as in the below example.

Or she could know you better than you know yourself, know completely what your feelings are, and doesn't want to see you taken advantage of. It's not uncommon for musicians to keep their first instrument, and frankly if I was her, you'd get the same answer. I mean I met my husband online, but that was us, and I don't trust YouTube girl. If that's the feeling I get, then imagine the feeling your mom gets. YouTube girls should feel the same for you regardless of the gifts you bribe her with. Mom is protecting you, even if you think you haven't told her anything.

Or, if she's just controlling, and in these years that side does tend to come out, then move. Then you can do what you like.


1. How old are you?
2. If you are over 18, seriously, the thing is yours and you can do as you wish.

I had a parent who never actually "gave" anything. If you got a present, it would end up back with the parent somehow, when it suited his purpose. That is not a way to give presents. As a matter of fact, I did something to annoy said parent (couldn't control my teenage brother when they went on holiday, duh, and went to college and paid for it after he ripped up my scholarship) and all my musical instruments were "returned" home. They are, after 40 years, still there rotting in the desert heat.

The moral of the story is, a gift is a gift. However, if you are underage and living under a parent's roof, you have to abide by their rules. However, technically, if someone gives you something as "yours" it is YOURS. You could run it under a bus. That would show bad judgment, and they'd be unlikely to give you anything again but morally you could...

I suggest you converse with your mom and let her know your musicianship has grown to to a point where the new ukulele is more suited to your skill and that the previous ukulele needs a new home because good as it is, you have progressed and OUTGROWN it. Perhaps you could sell it. It may be the give away that is bothering her. Money out the door.

Pippin
01-08-2012, 02:22 AM
If the uke was bought for you some years ago after sacrifice and saving to get you something nice, then you should have some understanding and respect for the thought behind the thing. Parents are notorious for being practical and "wise" when it comes to things like this. Suppose, for what ever reason, the Kamaka is suddenly unplayable or in need of repair, what will you play? Having a "backup" uke is a good thing. I'd keep it.

I am the kind of person that does not feel the need to build a huge collection of anything, and I do believe in giving-- and thoroughly enjoy it, but gifts are something special and I respect that.

Ukulele JJ
01-08-2012, 03:32 AM
I asked her if I could pay her back, but she still insisted no. :(

If you're willing and able to pay money for the uke to your mother, then why not just buy a new uke outright for the same price as whatever you were planning on paying your mom? Then send that uke to your "friend"? Problem solved.

That said, here are a few points from an old guy who's been around the block a time or two and seen a lot of things. :-) While it's great that you want to give a gift to a cute girl you're crushing on (which, let's face it, is really what this was about... if your YouTube friend were a fat, middle-aged man, you would probably not be sending him doodly, amiright?), you should tread carefully. For one, you don't want to come on too strong. For two, you don't want to make a sizable "investment" when there's a chance you'll get burned. And does she even want a ukulele? Or is it more that you want to give her one because you like ukuleles?

Anyway, if I were you, I'd start small. I"m talking Makala Dolphin. They're fun, they're cute, and they're priced at a low-enough level that would make a girl receiving one think "oh, what a sweet guy!" and not "omg I have a stalker who is trying to buy my affection with expensive things!" :P On the other side of the coin, if she turns out to just be someone who is using her looks and charms to get random people to send her things--and hey, it happens--you won't be out too much money.

Finally, there's no reason to let what sounds like a really nice uke just sit around. Try tuning it to D. Or put a low-G string on it. That way it fills a gap that your main uke doesn't.

Good luck!

JJ

Chris Tarman
01-08-2012, 03:50 AM
I appreciate the desire to give your old ukulele to someone, but I tend to agree with Ukulele JJ's post above... why not get her a different uke with the money you would be willing to pay your parents for the one they gave you?

However, just to throw a wrench into the works, it occurs to me that if I were "YouTube Girl" and someone messaged me saying "I want to give you this ukulele... what's your address so I can send it to you?" I would be VERY HESITANT to give my address. Well, actually, that should read "I would NOT give my address". And I'd be REALLY uncomfortable with the entire situation. I'm not saying that you aren't sincere and honorable, but if I were her I would not accept it in the first place.

Drew Bear
01-08-2012, 04:20 AM
I agree with JJ and Chris T. On one of this girl's videos you can hear her mom advising her on what to say on the video. Seems to me she has a caring parent who can provide a piano, lessons, a computer and Internet access. I suspect they can afford a uke if she really wanted one.

You could show your interest by playing something on your uke for her. Not a bad motivation to practice actually. :)

RichM
01-08-2012, 04:36 AM
While it's great that you want to give a gift to a cute girl you're crushing on (which, let's face it, is really what this was about... if your YouTube friend were a fat, middle-aged man, you would probably not be sending him doodly, amiright?)

I just wanted to say, for anybody who DOES want to provide free instruments to fat, middle-aged men, my phone banks are open 24 hours.

Kanaka916
01-08-2012, 05:00 AM
As JJ pointed out, your crush is what this is all about. Have you ever met her or have had social contact? Go to the same school or live in the neighborhood. Or has all contact been through the internet? Does she know of you? Before you decide on giving something away go meet her and try to get to know her, could possibly be the start of a relationship or not. On a side note, I noticed the name of the school she plays for. Sacramento Waldorf, that's in Fair Oaks just outside of Sac. Are you also from this area? I'm in the South area just before EG.

GKK
01-08-2012, 05:01 AM
Put yourself in your parents shoes...

Would you want your son to give away an expensive present you bought for him to a girl on YouTube that he hasn't even met and doesn't really know?!...

I would Appreciate the Uke my parents bought for me and play it every once in awhile and hand it down to one of my kids one day.

The YouTube girl has her friends ukulele she can borrow until she eventually gets her own.

mm stan
01-08-2012, 05:02 AM
Honor you parents wishes....as for your um crush, buying her affection may not work out...you might creep her out...she might not even give you her correct address... I am sure she is a nice girl, but be careful.... Good Luck...
Hope she lives in Kalihi too....maybe subscribe to her first would be the first step.....

Toucan Mango
01-08-2012, 05:09 AM
Maybe one day you will have kids I don't know, but if you do you can tell your children your mom and dad gave the ukulele to you, and now I want you kids to have it.. I personally would not ever sell it but it's up to you.

ukulefty
01-08-2012, 05:12 AM
I don't know, but maybe your parents saved hard to get you that uke. Maybe to them it looks like you're just haphazardly tossing aside their gift to you by giving it away to random Youtube girl that you don't even know?

I like these thoughts:


why not just buy a new uke outright for the same price as whatever you were planning on paying your mom? Then send that uke to your "friend"? Problem solved.


she has a caring parent who can provide a piano, lessons, a computer and Internet access. I suspect they can afford a uke if she really wanted one.


Anyway, if I were you, I'd start small. I"m talking Makala Dolphin. On the other side of the coin, if she turns out to just be someone who is using her looks and charms to get random people to send her things.

My final 2 cents: Record her a song, keep your uke, everybody wins... :)

Random comment: Her rendition of UP was very nice.

Ukulele JJ
01-08-2012, 06:52 AM
I just wanted to say, for anybody who DOES want to provide free instruments to fat, middle-aged men, my phone banks are open 24 hours.

Get in line, pal!

JJ

Gwynedd
01-08-2012, 07:02 AM
And maybe learn the tab to "Can't buy me love..."

Ukulele JJ
01-08-2012, 07:03 AM
You could show your interest by playing something on your uke for her.



My final 2 cents: Record her a song, keep your uke, everybody wins...

Brilliant suggestions. That's probably the way to do it.

JJ

spookefoote
01-08-2012, 07:11 AM
OK kid, you sound like a nice feller so I'll get straight to the point. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. The brain is the bit at the top of the body. You're thinking with the bit half way down. Use the brain, keep the uke, watch the nice lady on the Youtube!

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 07:14 AM
OMG!!! Thank you, EVERYONE!! I know what you all are saying, and it really helped clear the air on a lot of things. I contacted my friend who has a cheap Kala uke, and maybe he will be willing to sell me that and then I could ship it. And your right about the whole "you don't really know her, and you can't buy affection," type of thing, and it is kinda embarrassing now that I read what I originally wrote... I think i'll just hold off for a bit, and see what happens :)

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 07:16 AM
Give it a while. Maybe she's expecting you to forget about it or move on to other things. I vote give it time, and when your mom sees you still haven't forgotten about it, maybe she'll relent.

Haha thank you for the comment!

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 07:17 AM
Dude, you just announced it on the internet..

That was bad... I should delete that huh? :(

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 07:20 AM
If the uke was bought for you some years ago after sacrifice and saving to get you something nice, then you should have some understanding and respect for the thought behind the thing. Parents are notorious for being practical and "wise" when it comes to things like this. Suppose, for what ever reason, the Kamaka is suddenly unplayable or in need of repair, what will you play? Having a "backup" uke is a good thing. I'd keep it.

I am the kind of person that does not feel the need to build a huge collection of anything, and I do believe in giving-- and thoroughly enjoy it, but gifts are something special and I respect that.

Thank you :) I now have two Kamaka's, so three ukes all together. I feel like a spoiled kid haha

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 07:21 AM
OK kid, you sound like a nice feller so I'll get straight to the point. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. The brain is the bit at the top of the body. You're thinking with the bit half way down. Use the brain, keep the uke, watch the nice lady on the Youtube!

Your comment made me laugh out loud!! Thank you for the advice haha but I just wanted to do something nice for her :)

ItsAMeCasey
01-08-2012, 07:37 AM
Good choice with keeping the uke and opting to buy a cheaper one to give instead..

On a side note, don't worry lol. From my experience, girls have a way of getting you to do crap you never thought you'd do. My ex still has my very first uke I got from my grandma lol! I really need to get that back...

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 07:39 AM
Good choice with keeping the uke and opting to buy a cheaper one to give instead..

On a side note, don't worry lol. From my experience, girls have a way of getting you to do crap you never thought you'd do. My ex still has my very first uke I got from my grandma lol! I really need to get that back...

Hey Casey!!! Thanks for the comment, and I know what you mean, some girls are pretty bad hahaha hopefully you get your first uke back!!!!!

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 07:46 AM
As JJ pointed out, your crush is what this is all about. Have you ever met her or have had social contact? Go to the same school or live in the neighborhood. Or has all contact been through the internet? Does she know of you? Before you decide on giving something away go meet her and try to get to know her, could possibly be the start of a relationship or not. On a side note, I noticed the name of the school she plays for. Sacramento Waldorf, that's in Fair Oaks just outside of Sac. Are you also from this area? I'm in the South area just before EG.

Thank you, and no I haven't met her in person, only through YouTube. I live on O'ahu lol

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 07:49 AM
I don't know, but maybe your parents saved hard to get you that uke. Maybe to them it looks like you're just haphazardly tossing aside their gift to you by giving it away to random Youtube girl that you don't even know?

I like these thoughts:







My final 2 cents: Record her a song, keep your uke, everybody wins... :)

Random comment: Her rendition of UP was very nice.

Thank you for pointing those comments out :) I will keep my uke, and see if I could purchase a cheaper one. I think i'll hold off for a while though. Hopefully she doesn't think i'm a weirdo :(

rem50
01-08-2012, 07:49 AM
Only read some of the responses so if this is a repeat I am sorry. This sort of thing always ticks me off. I try to remember a gift is a gift. If I bought you something and gave it to you then it is yours to do with as you please. If you have to ask permission what to do with it then it is not yours. It was a loaner from your parents. If mom wants it then let her have it (not trying to sound mean here). I think it is quite admirable that you want to pass it on. If it concerns the amount of money involved that they paid, if you still are not using it, sell it and give the $ to parents and like someone else said ... buy your friend one with your own money.

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 07:52 AM
Only read some of the responses so if this is a repeat I am sorry. This sort of thing always ticks me off. I try to remember a gift is a gift. If I bought you something and gave it to you then it is yours to do with as you please. If you have to ask permission what to do with it then it is not yours. It was a loaner from your parents. If mom wants it then let her have it (not trying to sound mean here). I think it is quite admirable that you want to pass it on. If it concerns the amount of money involved that they paid, if you still are not using it, sell it and give the $ to parents and like someone else said ... buy your friend one with your own money.

Oh so sorry, I hope I didn't offend you with my post :( and yea I will hold off for now, maybe buy her one with my own money, for now I am just going to keep the old one.

rem50
01-08-2012, 08:00 AM
you did not offend me at all. Sorry if it came off that way. It is the whole "gift" being a gift thing. If it was a gift, it is yours, you can burn it if you want (Extreme example! Ha!) I was just trying to help you understand the difference in a gift. I think you are a great job in asking for advice.

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 08:02 AM
you did not offend me at all. Sorry if it came off that way. It is the whole "gift" being a gift thing. If it was a gift, it is yours, you can burn it if you want (Extreme example! Ha!) I was just trying to help you understand the difference in a gift. I think you are a great job in asking for advice.

I see thank you again, but I totally understand my parents reason for not wanting me to give it away, I just wanted some advice and insight from other uke players :)

rem50
01-08-2012, 08:08 AM
Thanks for letting me rant. Keep listening to your parents! :)

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 08:11 AM
Oh and I forgot to mention, after my mom told me no, I asked her "What would Jesus do?" LOL thought that was kinda funny, cracked myself up :o

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 08:12 AM
Thanks for letting me rant. Keep listening to your parents! :)

Thanks again kind fellow ;)

808boy
01-08-2012, 08:24 AM
Eh, Bruddah, listen to your Muddah. You're not in Kalihi Elementary School.
That is quite alot to invest in a uke, and for your Muddah to see you progress as a player to where you're at now with your Kamaka, she's proud of her "Investment" in you.
I WISH I had the uke my Mom bought for me as my first NEW uke back in the mid 50's.
Remember, girls will enter and exit your life, but Moms remain forever..................................BO....... ............

gyosh
01-08-2012, 08:24 AM
I totally get it. She's cute! But I've seen your video's too and you 're extremely talented. At some point you're going to really value that first uke, because that's the one that started it for you. Hang on to it!! Write hr a song or something :)

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 08:31 AM
Eh, Bruddah, listen to your Muddah. You're not in Kalihi Elementary School.
That is quite alot to invest in a uke, and for your Muddah to see you progress as a player to where you're at now with your Kamaka, she's proud of her "Investment" in you.
I WISH I had the uke my Mom bought for me as my first NEW uke back in the mid 50's.
Remember, girls will enter and exit your life, but Moms remain forever..................................BO....... ............

Bwahahahaha Kalihi elementary :) that made my day, and your totally right! Thanks for the advice!

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 08:32 AM
I totally get it. She's cute! But I've seen your video's too and you 're extremely talented. At some point you're going to really value that first uke, because that's the one that started it for you. Hang on to it!! Write hr a song or something :)

Thank you gyosh :) and you've seen me playing?!?!?! How so lol I don't remember having a vid posted?

ScooterD35
01-08-2012, 09:03 AM
I say forget about the imaginary internet girl and use your talent (and Kamaka) to attract the attention of a real girl (within dating distance). Then you can offer to lend her your old uke while you give her lessons.

Eventually you may make beautiful music together.



Scooter

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 09:08 AM
I say forget about the imaginary internet girl and use your talent (and Kamaka) to attract the attention of a real girl (within dating distance). Then you can offer to lend her your old uke while you give her lessons.

Eventually you may make beautiful music together.



Scooter

Thank you :) good advice hahaha

Trinimon
01-08-2012, 09:24 AM
Ditto ScooterD35! Lots of real pretty local girls in Oahu that has that aloha spirit just like you!

I totally get why people feel if they receive a gift that it now belongs to the recipient of the gift to do as they please. Give it away, burn it, break it or do whatever they want. I agree in part BUT looking from the side of the giver, if they worked and saved hard and put a lot of thought into buying that special gift for someone they really love, they get joy from seeing it being used and loved by that person. So in fact, a gift's intention is just not giving someone an item and then wiping your hands clean. It serves two purposes; to give joy to the receiver and let them know someone was thinking of them, the second is for the giver to see that their gift made the receiver happy.

Remember the look on your loved one face when you spontaneously bought that little gift for them, could be jewelery, clothing, golf clubs... whatever. Chances are you put a bit of thought into it. You figured out what they like, what they'll appreciate, what will make them happy and you took pleasure when you saw their face light up and when they gave you that big old warm hug. Each time you see that person wear that piece of jewelery or use that gift etc you feel good.

Maybe Kamaka_4_life's parents worked hard for that uke and felt the joy each time they hear him play it. Maybe it's more than just the money they spent? There could be sentimental value attached to it that you can't put a price tag on.

Kamaka_4_life, I think you're seeing the light. I believe that you should respect your parents' requests by keeping the uke. Maybe it doesn't make sense now but who knows, in a few years, maybe it will click? I totally get the crush thing. Been there, done that, got burned, found love, got the t-shirt. Don't give away the house before you have a sure thing figuratively speaking. You can't win affection by buying your way into it. Well technically that's not fully true 'cause there are all types out there but I digress. If you really feel like sending her a gift (I don't know your relationship with the youtube girl to voice my opinion), do like you say, send her that cheaper uke. Heck, you can probably order it from one of the mainland folks like Uke Rep or Mim etc and save on shipping from the mainland instead of from Oahu. I hate thinking the worst of people but in today's world, everyone likes a free meal and I'd hate to see you get taken advantage of.

Keep that Aloha spirit and good luck brah!

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 09:28 AM
I totally get why people feel if they receive a gift that it now belongs to the recipient of the gift to do as they please. Give it away, burn it, break it or do whatever they want. I agree in part BUT looking from the side of the giver, if they worked and saved hard and put a lot of thought into buying that special gift for someone they really love, they get joy from seeing it being used and loved by that person. So in fact, a gift's intention is just not giving someone an item and then wiping your hands clean. It serves two purposes; to give joy to the receiver and let them know someone was thinking of them, the second is for the giver to see that their gift made the receiver happy.

Remember the look on your loved one face when you spontaneously bought that little gift for them, could be jewelery, clothing, golf clubs... whatever. Chances are you put a bit of thought into it. You figured out what they like, what they'll appreciate, what will make them happy and you took pleasure when you saw their face light up and when they gave you that big old warm hug. Each time you see that person wear that piece of jewelery or use that gift etc you feel good.

Maybe Kamaka_4_life's parents worked hard for that uke and felt the joy each time they hear him play it. Maybe it's more than just the money they spent? There could be sentimental value attached to it that you can't put a price tag on.

Kamaka_4_life, I think you're seeing the light. I believe that you should respect your parents' requests by keeping the uke. Maybe it doesn't make sense now but who knows, in a few years, maybe it will click? I totally get the crush thing. Been there, done that, got burned, found love, got the t-shirt. Don't give away the house before you have a sure thing figuratively speaking. You can't win affection by buying your way into it. Well technically that's not fully true 'cause there are all types out there but I digress. If you really feel like sending her a gift (I don't know your relationship with the youtube girl to voice my opinion), do like you say, send her that cheaper uke. Heck, you can probably order it from one of the mainland folks like Uke Rep or Mim etc and save on shipping from the mainland instead of from Oahu. I hate thinking the worst of people but in today's world, everyone likes a free meal and I'd hate to see you get taken advantage of.

Keep that Aloha spirit and good luck brah!

That was the best advice ever!! Thank you so much Trinimon!!! You are a great person for understanding how I feel, and you really cleared the air about both sides of the story from myself and my parents perspective :) thanks again, I hope I didn't make a fool of myself on the forum and to the "YouTube girl..."

haolejohn
01-08-2012, 09:34 AM
OK. My first thought was to just give it away and ask for forgiveness later. Then i thought it is obvious you live under their roof. I had to respect my dad's rules when I moved in after I got out of the Marines. I was 23 years old and a Marine with a chest full of medals. But I believe that if you live under their roof, you should obey their rules. Unless you are paying rent. Lots of people want to be adults but not have the adult responsibilities.

When you mentioned your friend I thought that was pretty cool, then you said it was youtubegirl (I instantly thought you had a crush on her). Which you mention you do. I'm all for "Deaching" a uke. I'm not for advertising the act of "deaching". But if you really feel like you should give her your uke and you are doing it with no hopes of getting anything in return (which is hard to do when you mentioned you have a crush on her) then do it. If you are hoping to get something in return, then listen to your mom. I know it is hard to believe but they do have more wisdom than we do.

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 09:43 AM
OK. My first thought was to just give it away and ask for forgiveness later. Then i thought it is obvious you live under their roof. I had to respect my dad's rules when I moved in after I got out of the Marines. I was 23 years old and a Marine with a chest full of medals. But I believe that if you live under their roof, you should obey their rules. Unless you are paying rent. Lots of people want to be adults but not have the adult responsibilities.

When you mentioned your friend I thought that was pretty cool, then you said it was youtubegirl (I instantly thought you had a crush on her). Which you mention you do. I'm all for "Deaching" a uke. I'm not for advertising the act of "deaching". But if you really feel like you should give her your uke and you are doing it with no hopes of getting anything in return (which is hard to do when you mentioned you have a crush on her) then do it. If you are hoping to get something in return, then listen to your mom. I know it is hard to believe but they do have more wisdom than we do.

Hahaha yeah, my mom knows me best, and I don't expect anything in return, I just want to do something nice for her since she said she couldn't afford one herself. Thanks for the help!!! Appreciate it. oh and what does "deaching" mean?

gyosh
01-08-2012, 09:56 AM
Thank you gyosh :) and you've seen me playing?!?!?! How so lol I don't remember having a vid posted?

Aren't you the one who won your Kamaka or am I confusing you with someone else? Either way, you'd always regret not having your first uke.

haolejohn
01-08-2012, 10:06 AM
Hahaha yeah, my mom knows me best, and I don't expect anything in return, I just want to do something nice for her since she said she couldn't afford one herself. Thanks for the help!!! Appreciate it. oh and what does "deaching" mean?

I'll let you discover that on your own.

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 10:43 AM
Aren't you the one who won your Kamaka or am I confusing you with someone else? Either way, you'd always regret not having your first uke.

Yeah, ur right :) but I didn't post a vid of myself playing lol so I was confused.

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 10:43 AM
I'll let you discover that on your own.

Hahaha alrighty then hopefully i'll find out on my own.

rem50
01-08-2012, 11:36 AM
Ditto ScooterD35! Lots of real pretty local girls in Oahu that has that aloha spirit just like you!

I totally get why people feel if they receive a gift that it now belongs to the recipient of the gift to do as they please. Give it away, burn it, break it or do whatever they want. I agree in part BUT looking from the side of the giver, if they worked and saved hard and put a lot of thought into buying that special gift for someone they really love, they get joy from seeing it being used and loved by that person. So in fact, a gift's intention is just not giving someone an item and then wiping your hands clean. It serves two purposes; to give joy to the receiver and let them know someone was thinking of them, the second is for the giver to see that their gift made the receiver happy.

Remember the look on your loved one face when you spontaneously bought that little gift for them, could be jewelery, clothing, golf clubs... whatever. Chances are you put a bit of thought into it. You figured out what they like, what they'll appreciate, what will make them happy and you took pleasure when you saw their face light up and when they gave you that big old warm hug. Each time you see that person wear that piece of jewelery or use that gift etc you feel good.

Maybe Kamaka_4_life's parents worked hard for that uke and felt the joy each time they hear him play it. Maybe it's more than just the money they spent? There could be sentimental value attached to it that you can't put a price tag on.

Kamaka_4_life, I think you're seeing the light. I believe that you should respect your parents' requests by keeping the uke. Maybe it doesn't make sense now but who knows, in a few years, maybe it will click? I totally get the crush thing. Been there, done that, got burned, found love, got the t-shirt. Don't give away the house before you have a sure thing figuratively speaking. You can't win affection by buying your way into it. Well technically that's not fully true 'cause there are all types out there but I digress. If you really feel like sending her a gift (I don't know your relationship with the youtube girl to voice my opinion), do like you say, send her that cheaper uke. Heck, you can probably order it from one of the mainland folks like Uke Rep or Mim etc and save on shipping from the mainland instead of from Oahu. I hate thinking the worst of people but in today's world, everyone likes a free meal and I'd hate to see you get taken advantage of.

Keep that Aloha spirit and good luck brah!
I have to agree. I was talking from the basic "gift" aspect. That was great advice.

Leodhas
01-08-2012, 12:01 PM
OK, seriously man (by the way good thread), don't be giving away a gift from your folks (who love you more than anything) to some girl you've only had contact with on-line ! You seriously have to trust me on this one, because if you do give this uke away, you will regret it for the rest of your life ! I don't know anything about this girl but if she had any conscience she would not allow you to give her this first bought uke (from your parents) !

I've been a young lad and I know how f**king daft we can be, especially when it comes to girls, but seriously man, back away from this notion!

Kudos on asking advice first before you went and did something idiotic, there may be hope for you yet !

Paul December
01-08-2012, 12:28 PM
Save it for a girl-in-the-flesh, and teach her how to play it ;)

arpie
01-08-2012, 12:40 PM
.....Save it for a girl-in-the-flesh, and teach her how to play it..... or your first born (assuming that somewhere down the line, you will have children) and think how happy your folks would be, seeing it being handed down to the next generation ........ I think that would be the way to go.

Buy your 'girl' a uke yourself - it would really mean something to you then!!

cheers

Roberta

Paul December
01-08-2012, 12:42 PM
Save it for a girl-in-the-flesh, and teach her how to play it ;)

I forgot to add...
...Lend it (not give) to said girl. You're young, so you'll want it around to teach the next girlfriend, and the one after that. :)

itsme
01-08-2012, 01:04 PM
However, just to throw a wrench into the works, it occurs to me that if I were "YouTube Girl" and someone messaged me saying "I want to give you this ukulele... what's your address so I can send it to you?" I would be VERY HESITANT to give my address. Well, actually, that should read "I would NOT give my address". And I'd be REALLY uncomfortable with the entire situation. I'm not saying that you aren't sincere and honorable, but if I were her I would not accept it in the first place.
Yeah, you might come across as a creepy stalker.

And if I were her mother, I would not allow my underage daughter to accept an expensive gift from some "guy" she met on the intarwebs. For all mom knows, you might be some middle aged perv/pedo pretending to be a kid to get in her pants. Ever seen that show "To Catch A Predator"?

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 01:12 PM
OK, seriously man (by the way good thread), don't be giving away a gift from your folks (who love you more than anything) to some girl you've only had contact with on-line ! You seriously have to trust me on this one, because if you do give this uke away, you will regret it for the rest of your life ! I don't know anything about this girl but if she had any conscience she would not allow you to give her this first bought uke (from your parents) !

I've been a young lad and I know how f**king daft we can be, especially when it comes to girls, but seriously man, back away from this notion!

Kudos on asking advice first before you went and did something idiotic, there may be hope for you yet !

Wow lol thanks, I didn't realize I was being idiotic by doing this, just wanted to do something nice and give away a old uke I don't use anymore, but I know where my parents are coming from, just thought i'd ask you folks for advice first!

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 01:13 PM
.....Save it for a girl-in-the-flesh, and teach her how to play it..... or your first born (assuming that somewhere down the line, you will have children) and think how happy your folks would be, seeing it being handed down to the next generation ........ I think that would be the way to go.

Buy your 'girl' a uke yourself - it would really mean something to you then!!

cheers

Roberta

Yeah, thanks for the great advice :)

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 01:13 PM
Yeah, you might come across as a creepy stalker.

And if I were her mother, I would not allow my underage daughter to accept an expensive gift from some "guy" she met on the intarwebs. For all mom knows, you might be some middle aged perv/pedo pretending to be a kid to get in her pants. Ever seen that show "To Catch A Predator"?

Oh yes I have seen that show, and I am nothing like that, but I get your point! Thank you for the help!

Dan Uke
01-08-2012, 04:14 PM
I checked out the her youtube vids and doesn't she have pics of other guys on the wall?

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 05:04 PM
I checked out the her youtube vids and doesn't she have pics of other guys on the wall?

I honestly don't know, but I added her on FB, and she isn't in a relationship LOL but that's not what matters to me, what matters is that I wanted to make a person happy by giving them my old uke lol

Plainsong
01-08-2012, 06:09 PM
32022

I would be creeped out by it if I were her. And you say you want to do something nice.. but what if she just took it, and blocked you? How would that honestly feel? How well do you know her? Has she earned the level of trust such that you'd know 1000% that the gift will be as special as it is to you? Is there any question or doubt in your mind of that? Can you ever imagine a scenario where it gets weird, and you end up blocked or ignored?

I'm not bringing relationship feelings into it, because that's not the definition to me of the be-all end-all of something special. It's just that I've seen so many internet friendships and relationships go south. I've seen where people are just so buddy buddy and so close and caring, then bam, blocked, ignored... they got what they want, whatever that was... and probably nothing to do with you.

In fact there are only two friendship/relationships I know of for me personally that didn't end badly, that started online.

I know you want to give the gift with an open heart and no strings attached to it, but if things go south, it will muddy that memory and make you wish you hadn't.

I hate being one of those that says friendships and relationships online don't count, because they can if you both parties want them to, but things can progress so quickly online because we let down our walls, and sometimes we assume too much, either in feelings of friendship and trust, or something more than that. We can be at one level, and assume the other one is too... and assume wrong. You'd be amazed how loss of trust in someone will make a good deed feel very bad.

If she's the kind of person worth your time, then she'd be touched even by the thought. :)

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 07:16 PM
32022

I would be creeped out by it if I were her. And you say you want to do something nice.. but what if she just took it, and blocked you? How would that honestly feel? How well do you know her? Has she earned the level of trust such that you'd know 1000% that the gift will be as special as it is to you? Is there any question or doubt in your mind of that? Can you ever imagine a scenario where it gets weird, and you end up blocked or ignored?

I'm not bringing relationship feelings into it, because that's not the definition to me of the be-all end-all of something special. It's just that I've seen so many internet friendships and relationships go south. I've seen where people are just so buddy buddy and so close and caring, then bam, blocked, ignored... they got what they want, whatever that was... and probably nothing to do with you.

In fact there are only two friendship/relationships I know of for me personally that didn't end badly, that started online.

I know you want to give the gift with an open heart and no strings attached to it, but if things go south, it will muddy that memory and make you wish you hadn't.

I hate being one of those that says friendships and relationships online don't count, because they can if you both parties want them to, but things can progress so quickly online because we let down our walls, and sometimes we assume too much, either in feelings of friendship and trust, or something more than that. We can be at one level, and assume the other one is too... and assume wrong. You'd be amazed how loss of trust in someone will make a good deed feel very bad.

If she's the kind of person worth your time, then she'd be touched even by the thought. :)

Thank you for the very nice comments, and I totally understand your point about the whole block/ignore thing. Sometimes people are like that, and you would least likely expect that to happen. I'm sorry if I made a fool out of myself or seem ignorant or mean in any way, I just wanted to do something nice for another nice person, no stings attached :) Just living aloha and sharing the gift of music with another.

Plainsong
01-08-2012, 07:40 PM
We don't think you're a fool. We just think you're a nice guy, and that makes us get all protective. :)

There was this guy that I used to see online a lot way back in the day when we used telnet and MUDs and MUSHes. He was just an all-around nice guy, and everyone's friend. We weren't close or anything though. Anyway, there were a lot of us from Winthrop hanging out on this one MUSH, and he says he's going on a trip to New Orleans, would anyone like a gift while he's there? Like everyone else, I said sure, not really expecting anything. A few weeks later, and someone at school gave him my PO number, and he sent this cool Bourbon St. sign, which I still have. I never really knew him that well, but it was such a surprise, it still means a lot. It's my "People from the internet can be awesome" sign. :)

So Deornoth, wherever you are, your gift meant a lot.

You're hoping for something like that, or more right? We get it, and hopefully she does too. :)

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 08:11 PM
We don't think you're a fool. We just think you're a nice guy, and that makes us get all protective. :)

There was this guy that I used to see online a lot way back in the day when we used telnet and MUDs and MUSHes. He was just an all-around nice guy, and everyone's friend. We weren't close or anything though. Anyway, there were a lot of us from Winthrop hanging out on this one MUSH, and he says he's going on a trip to New Orleans, would anyone like a gift while he's there? Like everyone else, I said sure, not really expecting anything. A few weeks later, and someone at school gave him my PO number, and he sent this cool Bourbon St. sign, which I still have. I never really knew him that well, but it was such a surprise, it still means a lot. It's my "People from the internet can be awesome" sign. :)

So Deornoth, wherever you are, your gift meant a lot.

You're hoping for something like that, or more right? We get it, and hopefully she does too. :)

Hahaha totally man, and I loved your story, really nice :) I want to be like that guy, if I can make one person smile, that means the world to me, and I just really love to make people happy!!!

mm stan
01-08-2012, 10:33 PM
Hey Kamaka 4 life,
I promise you Kalihi girls rock...and you could really have a one to one idea who you're crushing on....he he plus the relationship factor and convience factor... you could do things together,
Nothing wrong with online relationships, you meet the nicest people.. but sooner of later if you want to hook up with her, one of you would need to move to the others place..which affects
your family and friends...a person you still know nothing about. hie or her persona not to discourage you....I know you may have your mind set, we were all young, Naive and dreamers and maybe still are without the first one(young).. eventually you will grow up and be wise, but not before learning...sometimes the hard way. We are just trying to protect you brah...Good Luck whatever you choose..

kamaka_4_life
01-08-2012, 11:00 PM
Hey Kamaka 4 life,
I promise you Kalihi girls rock...and you could really have a one to one idea who you're crushing on....he he plus the relationship factor and convience factor... you could do things together,
Nothing wrong with online relationships, you meet the nicest people.. but sooner of later if you want to hook up with her, one of you would need to move to the others place..which affects
your family and friends...a person you still know nothing about. hie or her persona not to discourage you....I know you may have your mind set, we were all young, Naive and dreamers and maybe still are without the first one(young).. eventually you will grow up and be wise, but not before learning...sometimes the hard way. We are just trying to protect you brah...Good Luck whatever you choose..

Hey mm stan!! Thanks again for your comments :) I understand what you all are saying, and I greatly appreciate it. And your right about the Kalihi girls lol although the ones in the housing are kinda scary :( lol just kidding but yeah thanks again for helping out!

austin1
01-08-2012, 11:29 PM
Give it a while. Maybe she's expecting you to forget about it or move on to other things. I vote give it time, and when your mom sees you still haven't forgotten about it, maybe she'll relent.

When I posted this, I didn't know you hadn't actually met the girl, and it was just an internet thing. Now that I know this, you're mother is absolutely right, don't do it.

wolfybau
01-09-2012, 05:29 AM
not to be harsh, but if I , who is disabled and impoverished can afford a $30 starter uke, so can she. Granted there was a time when I couldnt even afford that, but ive been through some extrodinary circumstances. Is she in a hospital bed? living in her car or a carboard box? She needs to find some work I guess or sell or trade something else she owns to buy something nice for herself.

If you are trying to impress her and made the offer, I agree , do it with a song or a starter uke instead. A song is way more impressive anyway IMO , its somethign from the heart.

On the other hand, if she is the one asking you to send the expensive uke to her because, boo hoo, she cant aford one, dispite the fact that it was a gift from your parents, she is a gold digger and using you, run the other way!!

with that , your parents have given their lives for you for your lfe and survival and happiness. Who should your loyalty and respect be to , them or this girl you dont realy even know??
respect your Kupuna, its your kuleana , keep it pono.

If you relay want some good to come of the use of the uke, and feel bad about it collecting dust and want it to go to a good cause, discuss with your parents about auctioning it off for charity or somethign like that.

kamaka_4_life
01-09-2012, 06:32 AM
not to be harsh, but if I , who is disabled and impoverished can afford a $30 starter uke, so can she. Granted there was a time when I couldnt even afford that, but ive been through some extrodinary circumstances. Is she in a hospital bed? living in her car or a carboard box? She needs to find some work I guess or sell or trade something else she owns to buy something nice for herself.

If you are trying to impress her and made the offer, I agree , do it with a song or a starter uke instead. A song is way more impressive anyway IMO , its somethign from the heart.

On the other hand, if she is the one asking you to send the expensive uke to her because, boo hoo, she cant aford one, dispite the fact that it was a gift from your parents, she is a gold digger and using you, run the other way!!

with that , your parents have given their lives for you for your lfe and survival and happiness. Who should your loyalty and respect be to , them or this girl you dont realy even know??
respect your Kupuna, its your kuleana , keep it pono.

If you relay want some good to come of the use of the uke, and feel bad about it collecting dust and want it to go to a good cause, discuss with your parents about auctioning it off for charity or somethign like that.

Hello, so sorry to hear about that, and your totally right, I would be feel better about myself knowing that it went to charity or something a lot more meaningful, maybe to someone "a lot" less fortunate. Thanks for all the great comments and ideas :)

Tube
01-09-2012, 09:31 AM
Just lend it to the yotube girl and tell your mother, you get it back one day.

kamaka_4_life
01-09-2012, 12:16 PM
Just lend it to the yotube girl and tell your mother, you get it back one day.

Hahahahaha good one, but that would never happen :p

Nickie
01-09-2012, 05:46 PM
I think you are very sweet to want to give something that valuable to someone you haven't even met.

kamaka_4_life
01-09-2012, 07:09 PM
I think you are very sweet to want to give something that valuable to someone you haven't even met.

Thanks you so much :) that means a lot!