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View Full Version : Sh*t Ukulele Players Say



Starby
01-22-2012, 08:47 PM
So you know this whole, Sh*t _______ Say phenomenon that is sweeping the web?

No? This video started it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-yLGIH7W9Y and hundreds of similar videos have cropped up all over commenting on the notorious (and sometimes un PC and stereotypical) habits of specific groups of people.

I was laughing at the Sh*t Brides say (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ut8kwaKvZc0) version and wondered if there was a ukulele player version (I figured there would be as I've seen just about everything else).

Alas! There is no such video!

So that got me wondering if anyone (everyone) would be interested in collaborating to make a UU version of the meme. We could compile a list of common ukester sayings and then film ourselves saying them and get them to one person to combine them (I could put them together if no one else wants to) I think it would be pretty amusing.

Thoughts?

joeybug
01-22-2012, 09:06 PM
Sounds like fun, I'm in if I can think of stuff we all say...Oh! I know "I don't have UAS, I just need one more Ukulele" or "I'm done with Ukulele buying after this one more" and stuff like that?

UncleElvis
01-22-2012, 09:52 PM
Sounds like a great project! Count me in if you need me!

consitter
01-22-2012, 11:05 PM
How about, "Ooh a party? I know they'll need a uke player there!"

consitter
01-22-2012, 11:08 PM
Another one. "OMG, the family reunion?? I just KNOW they'll wanna hear me play the uke!"

consitter
01-22-2012, 11:12 PM
"Hey!! Quit plucking my G-string!!"

consitter
01-22-2012, 11:14 PM
"No, it's NOT out of tune, that's how it really sounds!!"

consitter
01-22-2012, 11:17 PM
"no, i do not know 'tiptoe through the tulips'!!!"

ukeofcarl
01-22-2012, 11:32 PM
'No it isn't just a tiny guitar'

austin1
01-23-2012, 12:08 AM
"I'm yo-oh-oh-oh-urs...God, I hate that song."

finkdaddy
01-23-2012, 12:25 AM
No, I'm not like Don Ho.

fitncrafty
01-23-2012, 01:24 AM
I just saw a video on 'Sh!t Bass players say'... could be very entertaining...

tjomball
01-23-2012, 02:12 AM
No.. It's NOT a toy..

glass
01-23-2012, 02:18 AM
Train? What time does it get here?

cahaya
01-23-2012, 02:25 AM
oh spelling? I think the correct spelling is U K U L I L I, or may be not. I'm not sure. But I think I'm right.

Plainsong
01-23-2012, 02:57 AM
Something I said to my husband last night when he was adding a bass track to my ongoing recording. He questioned my ability to stick to a tempo, and asked me to turn on the metronome. I couldn't dial it in exactly, so I said the metronome was off, not me. ;)

That's what I get for laying in the first track as a strum track with a chorus so heavy it's nearly phasing, and not using a metronome to do it. Oops.

PoiDog
01-23-2012, 04:30 AM
'Ukuleles are for guys who don't need a guitar to compensate for their shortcomings.

janeray1940
01-23-2012, 04:46 AM
I'm done buying ukes, this is my last one. No really.

Starby
01-23-2012, 05:12 AM
LOVE it! I'm glad this didn't just seem like a good idea when I thought of it at 3am. haha... SO YES! Let's continue to compile the list! Once we get enough to fill about a minute and a half I'll compile them in a giant list and we can divvy up the video making!

More ideas:

~Someone doing a worshipful gesture saying "JAKE!"
~Maybe a series of people playing each string and saying the mnemonic device you use to remember each string - (ex. George Clooney Eats Acorns )
~"Yes, I've heard of Julia Nunes..."

I'm sure we'll come up with many brilliant things... keep em' coming!

Starby
01-23-2012, 05:14 AM
"no, i do not know 'tiptoe through the tulips'!!!"

hahaha exactly!

Starby
01-23-2012, 05:15 AM
"It's pronounced ook oo lay lay"

vanflynn
01-23-2012, 05:16 AM
"This old thing dear, I've had it for quite some time" (grinning to self)

Chris Tarman
01-23-2012, 06:06 AM
"This old thing dear, I've had it for quite some time" (grinning to self)

Wow. That's familiar.

fernandogardinali
01-23-2012, 06:12 AM
The thing I say the most:
"It is the hawaiian version of the Cavaquinho."

itsscottwilder
01-23-2012, 06:18 AM
"How do you do that 'chuck' sounding thingy?"

"Have you seen that asian guy play While My Guitar Gently Weep on YouTube?"

"Have you seen the thin white guy do Billie Jean on the Ukulele?"

"Replace the factory strings with Aquila strings"

"The intonation is good"

austin1
01-23-2012, 08:07 AM
Train? What time does it get here?

haaaaaaaaa, good one Kevin!

austin1
01-23-2012, 08:08 AM
The thing I say the most:
"It is the hawaiian version of the Cavaquinho."

It's the Hawaiian version of a charango.

austin1
01-23-2012, 08:08 AM
The thing I say the most:
"It is the hawaiian version of the Cavaquinho."

It's the hawaiian version of the guitar.

austin1
01-23-2012, 08:09 AM
The thing I say the most:
"It is the hawaiian version of the Cavaquinho."

It's the hawaiian version of the accordion.

tmm200
01-23-2012, 08:14 AM
Four fingers, four strings, no problem.

Rubio MHS
01-23-2012, 08:24 AM
Yes, I did pay $500 for it, and it is full sized.

spookefoote
01-23-2012, 08:33 AM
"Jake who?".........

Chris Tarman
01-23-2012, 08:45 AM
It's the hawaiian version of the accordion.

That is awesome!

bdukes
01-23-2012, 09:15 AM
Low g or high g?

Got tabs for that?

I liked the old logo better.

I hate rope binding.

I like rope binding.

spookefoote
01-23-2012, 09:57 AM
"Yeah it was a guitar but it shrunk in the wash"

UKISOCIETY
01-23-2012, 10:02 AM
I'm done buying ukes, this is my last one. No really.


Low g or high g?

Got tabs for that?

I liked the old logo better.

I hate rope binding.

I like rope binding.

Yes to all of these! :)

cletus
01-23-2012, 10:09 AM
It's the thinking mans piano...


:old:

bigchiz
01-23-2012, 10:51 AM
"How do you finger a C6?"
"I'm going to a uke jam tonight!"
"Let's meet at the coffee house."
"Is that a concert uke?"
"What's the strum pattern?"
"Past the third fret?"
"I'm working on a song, it's not finished yet. Want to hear it?"
"How do you hook on a strap?"
"Is that electric?"
"Do you use a pick?"
"My fingers are sore."
"Look at my Betty Boop PEZ dispenser humidifier."


:rolleyes:

Plainsong
01-23-2012, 04:30 PM
It's not a small guitar.

OldePhart
01-23-2012, 05:32 PM
No, I didn't put the strings on in the wrong order...

MisterRios
01-23-2012, 08:55 PM
It's the hawaiian version of the accordion.

Hahahah. I have to remember that one.

The thing I say the most is a variation of: "That band would be a lot better with a ukulele in there".

@tmm200 I also say "four fingers, four strings"

mds725
01-23-2012, 10:20 PM
The thing I say the most:
"It is the hawaiian version of the Cavaquinho."

"It's the Hawaiian version of a machete (http://www.ukuleleunderground.com/forum/showthread.php?59299-Want-to-see-and-hear-he-Braguinha-aka-machete-in-action&p=850954)." That often makes people look at me funny.

spookefoote
01-24-2012, 01:01 AM
"Up yours Eric"

nscafe
01-24-2012, 01:53 AM
"My dog has fleas"

Starby
01-24-2012, 06:35 AM
So far this is what we've got. (I think I copied and pasted everything into this list so if I forgot yours let me know!)

Do we want to divvy and start doing the videos or keep compiling for a while? Like a lot of the existing videos I think we should have several people say some of the same lines (especially variations on the "this is my last one" sentiment! haha)

Is everyone ok with me putting the videos together? If so, how do people get the videos to me? I've never done collaborative stuff since I'm kind of a lone wolf. ha.

"I don't have UAS, I just need one more Ukulele"
"I'm done with Ukulele buying after this one more"
"Ooh a party? I know they'll need a uke player there!"
"OMG, the family reunion?? I just KNOW they'll wanna hear me play the uke!"
"Hey!! Quit plucking my G-string!!"
"No, it's NOT out of tune, that's how it really sounds!!"
"no, i do not know 'tiptoe through the tulips'!!!"
'No it isn't just a tiny guitar'
"I'm yo-oh-oh-oh-urs...God, I hate that song."
No, I'm not like Don Ho.
No.. It's NOT a toy..
Train? What time does it get here?
oh spelling? I think the correct spelling is U K U L I L I, or may be not. I'm not sure. But I think I'm right.
the metronome is off, not me
Ukuleles are for guys who don't need a guitar to compensate for their shortcomings.
I'm done buying ukes, this is my last one. No really.
George Clooney Eats Acorns
"JAKE!"
"It's pronounced ook oo lay lay"
"This old thing dear, I've had it for quite some time" (grinning to self)
"It is the hawaiian version of the Cavaquinho.
"How do you do that 'chuck' sounding thingy?"
"Have you seen that asian guy play While My Guitar Gently Weep on YouTube?"
"Have you seen the thin white guy do Billie Jean on the Ukulele?"
"Replace the factory strings with Aquila strings"
"The intonation is good"
It's the Hawaiian version of a charango.
It's the hawaiian version of the guitar.
It's the hawaiian version of the accordion.
Four fingers, four strings, no problem.
Yes, I did pay $500 for it, and it is full sized.
"Jake who?".........
Low g or high g?
Got tabs for that?
I liked the old logo better.
I hate rope binding.
I like rope binding.
"Yeah it was a guitar but it shrunk in the wash"
It's the thinking mans piano...
"How do you finger a C6?"
"I'm going to a uke jam tonight!"
"Let's meet at the coffee house."
"Is that a concert uke?"
"What's the strum pattern?"
"Past the third fret?"
"I'm working on a song, it's not finished yet. Want to hear it?"
"How do you hook on a strap?"
"Is that electric?"
"Do you use a pick?"
"My fingers are sore."
"Look at my Betty Boop PEZ dispenser humidifier."
It's not a small guitar.
No, I didn't put the strings on in the wrong order...
"That band would be a lot better with a ukulele in there"
It's the Hawaiian version of a machete."
"Up yours Eric"
"My dog has fleas"

OldePhart
01-24-2012, 07:15 AM
Hey, both Jimmy and Warren play one, so shove off!
You wanna tell Jimmy Buffet he's a nerd?

bigchiz
01-24-2012, 07:42 AM
If so, how do people get the videos to me? I've never done collaborative stuff since I'm kind of a lone wolf. ha.


Here's an idea, people could upload their stuff using this service, then send you a PM to say it's ready.
https://www.yousendit.com/features/share?s=4000668&cid=ppc-4000668&gclid=CMTV-5Wn6a0CFQQBQAodMmiA4g

I've never used yousendit and have no affliction with them, may want to try one first.

I'm going to a uke jam tonight! ;) Will get some recordings with an iPod Touch and try to send them on Wednesday.

Plainsong
01-24-2012, 07:44 AM
Or if you watched the last 30 Rock, "This guy might suck" (to the tune of My Dog has Fleas)

UKISOCIETY
01-24-2012, 08:51 AM
"This is my favorite train song..."

Lalz
01-24-2012, 08:56 AM
"If you don't think it's a real instrument, then clearly you haven't heard someone called Jake Shimabukuro"

"No I play it because I love it, not because it's trendy"

"Did you know that George Harrison played the ukulele too?"

Uncle Leroy
01-24-2012, 10:31 AM
Yeah, I got your "Freebird" right here.

myrnaukelele
01-24-2012, 11:46 AM
Oh these are hilarious!

gnordenstam
01-24-2012, 11:55 AM
Wait, don't sit there!

Hula skirt not included.

Yeah, well you're the one that asked me to play.

France
01-24-2012, 02:13 PM
What about the repeated lines but in different scenes? Could be lots of cuts to people playing and singing 'Somewhere over the Rainbow' medley to break up the 'unique' lines. Or it could just be an out of tune "oooh, ooooh, oooooaaaooooh" 'Somewhere..' intro or outro.

SuzukHammer
01-24-2012, 02:19 PM
I hate that song "I'm Yours" but you want me to play it??

I have 40 of these. Stop laughing.

SuzukHammer
01-24-2012, 02:20 PM
I want to buy a ukulele for my kid. What can I get for $20?

Can you play like George Formby?

Play that thing for me and I'll leigh you. Get it??? leigh you!! haahhahhaa. Leigh you. hahahaha

I listen to Pearl Jam too.

OldePhart
01-24-2012, 02:24 PM
I want to buy a ukulele for my kid. What can I get for $20?

Synonomous with "I want my kid to give up this stupid music stuff and be something reasonable like a doctor, or lawyer...or mass murderer." LOL

Chris Tarman
01-24-2012, 02:41 PM
I have 40 of these. Stop laughing.

That's a great one!

OldePhart
01-24-2012, 02:44 PM
Train? What time does it get here?

I think I'd be more interested in when that train is leaving... LOL

bdukes
01-24-2012, 04:01 PM
Nice curl.

Let me talk to my luthier.

Strummer or picker?

Mmmm, sweet tone wood.

That's my travel uke. THIS is my player.

SuzukHammer
01-24-2012, 08:13 PM
Acacia koa, yeah, right.

Your mom is a laminate. Nooooo, ... YOUR mom!!

bigchiz
01-25-2012, 11:18 AM
"It's a two chord song."

OldePhart
01-25-2012, 11:44 AM
Down, down-up, down-up-down (with apologies if somebody already listed this one).

spookefoote
01-26-2012, 05:48 AM
"......... and then it goes like............"

thesillydave
01-26-2012, 06:03 AM
"how many of those do you really need?"

TheOnlyUkeThatMatters
01-26-2012, 06:37 AM
"It's pronounced oo koo leh leh."

"It's pronounced you kuh lay lee."

"It's pronounced oo koo lay lee."

"It's pronounced you koo lay lee."

"It's pronounced oo kuh lay lay."

etc. etc.

Chris Tarman
01-26-2012, 11:56 AM
"Excuse me. I have to go stand in front of a mirror and work on my fan-stroke".

webby
01-26-2012, 12:45 PM
Do you think I should use aquilas or worth clears

(or pick any one of 95% of the threads in this forum)

no offense intended :)

Starby
01-26-2012, 04:12 PM
ALRIGHT people! I think we've definitely got a lot to work with here! HOW do we want to divvy? Everyone record your own ideas and send them to me? make a master list and assign? We need a consensus so we can get crackin'! We're already a little late with the meme. I don't want it to be totally dead before we release ours into the world.

SO how does everything think we should go about the recording? And how are we getting them to me so I can compile them? Bigchiz suggested the yousendit website. Which I'm fine with unless someone else has a better idea! I've never done a collaboration like this but I'm super excited to see what we can do with our combined genius!

These are awesome! Thanks everyone!

MisterRios
01-27-2012, 05:11 AM
I can record mine and send it to you via a Dropbox share/PM you the link, if that's okay. Are we all going to have our ukes on hand?

spookefoote
01-27-2012, 05:36 AM
What are we recording? Sound?

itsscottwilder
01-27-2012, 05:41 AM
What format would you like the video in? .mp4/.m4v/.mov/.avi???

sweetdemise
01-27-2012, 06:06 AM
My camera isn't great, but my mic is fantastic. I could record background music and what not.

"I didn't need those two strings"
"Low G tuning is cheating"
"Baritones don't count" -I get this a lot a baritone player
*facepalms "No it's and oo koo lay lay, not a freaking You koo lay lee, GET IT RIGHT!"
"George Harrison's guitar weeps because it's jealous of Shimabakuru's ukulele"
"saprano or bust"
"Big guy, lil ukulele"
"ukulele's are cool"

spookefoote
01-27-2012, 06:31 AM
What is it you want to record??????????????

Starby
01-27-2012, 08:25 AM
What is it you want to record??????????????

We need video of everyone saying the lines so I can compile them. .mov would be the best file type.

Starby
01-27-2012, 08:26 AM
I can record mine and send it to you via a Dropbox share/PM you the link, if that's okay. Are we all going to have our ukes on hand?

As long as I can get the video off the drop box that would be fab! Ukes in hand would be great, though empty-handed in front of a wall of ukes would also get the point across. haha

spookefoote
01-27-2012, 10:01 AM
Thanks, now I understand

sweetdemise
01-29-2012, 12:10 PM
I would love to help but my computer doesn't want to be nice. All the lines I've submitted are up for grabs. Can't wait to see it.

Chris Tarman
01-29-2012, 12:31 PM
It's the Mini Cooper of musical instruments.

ZenkX14
04-09-2012, 03:46 PM
*I get this a lot since I'm a fluffy girl*

"Aren't you a little too big to play that? You're going to squish it. ~_~"

Plainsong
04-09-2012, 04:52 PM
*I get this a lot since I'm a fluffy girl*

"Aren't you a little too big to play that? You're going to squish it. ~_~"

And that's when you should sit on them. Oops, didn't see you there. Seriously, some people! (saying as another fluffy girl)

seneystretch
04-10-2012, 08:39 AM
What happened to your guitar? Next time use cold water and it won't shrink in the wash.

Ron
04-10-2012, 09:12 AM
We have decided to make a sign
"yes we know the song 'I'm yours'. No, we don't play it. Yes, we know that song 'Somewhere over the Rainbow' and no, we don't play it. Yes, we know who Tiny Tim is and no, we don't play 'Tiptoe through the Tulips' - and - please - no drunk girls on tambourine".

Garlic
04-10-2012, 11:51 AM
It's the hawaiian version of the accordion.
Now that's funny!

OldePhart
04-10-2012, 12:05 PM
...and - please - no drunk girls on tambourine".
+ + + + This!

A tambourine is one of those instruments that is barely tolerable in the hands of someone who actually has a sense of rhythm and knows how to use it. And that's a very tiny segment of the population. Sadly, the tambourine and bohdran are the sort of thing that people with not a shred of talent or common sense think "anybody can play."

Shakers fall into the same category. I remember a guy I saw once had four, count 'em four, egg shakers in his hand and was just going to town as hard as he could. Unfortunately he had neither rhythm nor a sense of dynamics. People kept moving away to play elsewhere and then he'd follow them.

Folks...please...take a hint. If the jam seems to keep moving away from you - stop shaking whatever you're shaking! LOL

John

coolkayaker1
04-10-2012, 03:54 PM
John---you're so right. Castinets fall in that same category--unless they're played by a senorita with a plunging neckline, that is.

But...the hand bones, in a good set of hands....well, that's pretty fun for a song or two.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMokBr9cTxM

OldePhart
04-10-2012, 05:12 PM
Pretty cool vid. I've met one guy who could play spoons amazingly well - and then there's that gal with the youtube videos who is really good on spoons. Most of the time when somebody pulse out these "easy" folksy instruments though I just kind of cringe inside.

I remember a wedding reception/jam for a musician friend of mine. One of his relatives went in the kitchen of the clubhouse and came back with ordinary table spoons and I remember thinking...well, there goes the jam. Turned out he was amazing on those things.

John

Ron
04-12-2012, 10:55 PM
+ + + + This!

Shakers fall into the same category.

Actually all percussion in the hands of people who can't play - I hasten to add I'm no drummer myself. I think the problem is that people who can't play anything want to join in AND some DUMB musicians bring along boxes of noisy bloody shakers and bangers and ENCOURAGE THEM.


Right,


I feel better now.......................

SuzukHammer
04-13-2012, 01:32 AM
<puts down the stack of cowbells>

<quietly backpedals out of the thread>
.............

darrendiablo
04-13-2012, 05:30 AM
yes but no i dont know his "when im cleaning windows!!!"
daz

OldePhart
04-13-2012, 07:51 AM
<puts down the stack of cowbells>

<quietly backpedals out of the thread>
.............

OH...cowbells are okay...always need more cowbell! LOL

Ron
04-13-2012, 04:13 PM
<puts down the stack of cowbells>

<quietly backpedals out of the thread>
.............
I'm sure you are a kick arse cow bell player