Help convincing spouse

stevepetergal

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Okay, I'm convinced I need a second Mya-Moe. Quick calculation tells me I'm oh 'bout $1500 over what my wife will approve. I'm looking for some creative way first of all to tell her that I need it (I really do), and to convince her it's worth the money (again).
 
Let her borrow your first Mya-Moe. Then tell her that a second Mya-Moe will allow her to keep playing the first one.
 
Offer to buy her something she has wanted for a long time worth the same amount of money.
 
Asking her nicely is an option... Or you can take her out somewhere nice and bring it up in the middle.
 
Do you really need it? Why is it that you need it? Is this just for collection sake, buying just because you really like your Mya-Moe? Is there a real legitimate need, you haven't really told us that part.

Can you afford it? That doesn't mean - do you have enough space on the credit card, it means, can you actually afford it?

How often do you get the toys you want, versus her getting the toys she wants?

Answer those questions, either to us or to her, and you'll have your answer.
 
Offer to buy her something she has wanted for a long time worth the same amount of money.
I think that would work if you can afford it.

–Lori
 
Well done, plainsong!
 
Situations like this are exactly why my husband and I get allowances. It's a small part of our monthly budget -- after bills, savings, and retirement -- which we can spend anyway we want to without having to justify the expense to the other. I try to save a portion of it every month for bigger purchases that may come up. I have not been very successful saving since being struck by the UAS bug though. Fortunately, I had some money saved up before the bug hit. I have enough for 2/3 the cost of the Mya-Moe I want, so I put down a deposit recently. If I'm frugal with my mad money, I'll have more than enough when I take delivery of my new concert. Every time I'm tempted by something that comes up on the marketplace, I pull out the picture I have of the wood set and it calms the voice that goes, "Wantsss it, mussst havesss it, my preciousss."
 
Tell her that ultimately you intend to busk in your retirement years and that it will pay for itself over a few years in the future.
 
First off, I like Mds725's approach. Failing that we have always used tigersister's approach. Three accounts. Yours, mine and ours. Never any ill feelings when ours is taken care of first.
 
On a more comedy note, this kinda happened over Christmas. My husband wanted a Falcon brand pipe, and to me, these things are just hideous and have no soul. They're metal and the interchangable bowls look cheap. It doesn't have the soul that wood has. I'm not into pipes at all, but I can get it on the level of enjoying something well made purpose built, with nice wood. He gets my uke craze on the same level.

I don't usually complain when he wants a pipe, I just, as keeper of the funds, either save up for it, or give the go-ahead, depending on the cost. But here I drew the line. I thought for sure he'd be so disappointed in it. It looked such crap to me.

But then I started wanting a Risa uke stick, which struck him the same way that Falcon pipe struck me. It wasn't a cost thing, it was how similar they were, how neither of us liked the other. And with that, it became fair!

And it turns out that we both love what we got. So happy ending. Money aside, it's easier when both the husband and the wife have something their crazy about. It makes it easier to relate and sympathize. :)
 
Busk in retirement? Why stop with that? Tell the wife you are selling the house and all the furniture and worldly goods to buy an RV AND a mya-moe so you and the family can roam the countryside, busking and selling hand-whittled pennywhistles because it's been your dream and of COURSE your spouse wants you to realize your hopes and dreams, right? Oh, don't want to move into an RV? Well, how about just the uke? See, this strategy will work.
 
Do you really need it? Why is it that you need it? Is this just for collection sake, buying just because you really like your Mya-Moe? Is there a real legitimate need, you haven't really told us that part.

Can you afford it? That doesn't mean - do you have enough space on the credit card, it means, can you actually afford it?

How often do you get the toys you want, versus her getting the toys she wants?

Answer those questions, either to us or to her, and you'll have your answer.

Yes, Plainsong. I need it. I need a new low G concert. I currently have my Koaloha strung with Low G, but prefer it with high G. I also need the wider nut width than the Koaloha has for the music I'm doing with the low G (Mya-Moe offers this). I've never fallen completelty in love with the tenor size. Although I use it often, it's not me.
Does it have to be a Mya-Moe? Hmmm. I believe it does. The custom nut width is only one factor. That alone requires me to seek a builder rather than a manufacturer. My requirements for sound quality demand that I get something very well made and I have experience with Mya-Moe that tells me they will meet my needs. Because of my background in the piano tech field, I need the best intonation I can get. I know I'll hear about this but, no one can compare. Sorry, I like the K brands very much, LOVE my Koaloha forever, but none has the intonation I want.
Will I get all this from another custom builder? Probably.
Will I get it from Gordon and Char? Unquestionably. And, probably for less money.
Can I afford it? Yes.
Actually afford it? Sure.
Now, for the questions that make me cringe a little... I'm not a competitor by nature.
My toys include a 28 year old motorcycle and 3 ukuleles. That's it. My wants have been few.
Her toys? She has whatever she wants. But,that's always fine with me. GPS devices for her geocaching, digital sewing and quilting machines for her passions, a 10 year old motorcycle (not new, but still...)
 
Now, all that being said and out of the way.
So far I have suggestions recommending divorce (uh... nope), generosity, thoughtfulness, fairness.

I think I was looking for something sneaky or involving trickery. The best I've gotten is from Gwynedd saying

Busk in retirement? Why stop with that? Tell the wife you are selling the house and all the furniture and worldly goods to buy an RV AND a mya-moe so you and the family can roam the countryside, busking and selling hand-whittled pennywhistles because it's been your dream and of COURSE your spouse wants you to realize your hopes and dreams, right? Oh, don't want to move into an RV? Well, how about just the uke? See, this strategy will work.

If I knew what busking was, I think I'd be set.
C'mon UU community, let's be creative. Have some fun!
 
Explain to her that in order to play Bach properly, you need a high end uke with good sustain like the Mya Moe strung to low g.

After all it's not far from the truth! :rolleyes:
 
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